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Culinary Signs of the Apocalypse: 2012–


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#31 Mjx

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Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:09 AM

It's getting harder and harder to find chinotto soda... in Italy, dammit.

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#32 mkayahara

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Posted 04 July 2012 - 05:12 AM

It's getting harder and harder to find chinotto soda... in Italy, dammit.

That's depressing.
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#33 mkayahara

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 08:30 AM

Mashed potato dispensers: For when instant mashed potatoes aren't instant enough. http://news.yahoo.co...-171738860.html
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#34 Brown Hornet

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 12:50 PM

This:

http://www.bigtopcupcake.com/

#35 Darienne

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 01:50 PM

This:

http://www.bigtopcupcake.com/

I'm speechless. And double the offer if I order right now!
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#36 Pierogi

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 11:01 PM

In my local Pavilions market, which is the upscale branch of the Safeway chain in SoCal.....

Guy Fieri sausages and frozen pizzas. With Guy's face plastered all over the packaging, which would certainly kill any appetite I had to start with.

One of which (the pizzas) was a dessert pizza touted as a "S'mores Pizza" with a graham cracker crust, chocolate sauce and marshmallow topping. I can only shudder to think how the marshmallow (which are pretty gross to begin with IMHO) stands up to freezing.

The sausages all had some inane name like "Howdy Doody Andouille" and "Slamma Jamma Chili Bamma" or some such thing. I exaggerate on these, but only by a little.

Edit---that pesky spellling thing.

Edited by Pierogi, 23 August 2012 - 11:13 PM.

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#37 Mjx

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Posted 26 August 2012 - 01:34 AM

Marabou chocolate flavoured Philadelphia cream cheese: http://www.philadelp...a1&PagecRef=798.

The caption says, 'Let yourself be surprised'.

Saw a billboard for this last night, coming home from a dinner party; I didn't feel surprised, I felt 'Holy-hell-I'm-much-drunker-than-I-thought', so I had to look it up today, to see whether it actually existed outside my red-wine-inflamed mind.

It does.

Is this a thing anywhere else, or are the Philadelphia people just pranking Denmark?

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#38 BeeZee

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Posted 26 August 2012 - 07:18 AM

nope, unfortunately they are marketing chocolate-flavored cream cheese here in the States, too. I can't wrap my head around it.
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#39 pastrygirl

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:07 PM

Cadbury non-melting chocolate:

http://www.latimes.c...oney & Company)

#40 liuzhou

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:38 PM

This is beyond bad.

It is a Chinese brand of those little triangles of spreadable gunk which are labelled as 'cheese' but which bear no resemblance to anything remotely close to anything I consider to be cheese.

For some reason, no doubt while rabidly drunk, the manufacturers of this atrocity have decided to up the stakes and now seem to think that what we really need is processed gunk with blueberries!

Posted Image

I tried it out of a sense of duty. I've eaten all sorts. Give me the inner organs of fowls and beasts, give me barbecued cockroaches, give me camels' eyeballs. But get this muck out of my sight! I'd rather have botulism salad!

#41 jsmeeker

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

I can't by a Twinkie.

It's looking like the Mayans might be right about 2012

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#42 SylviaLovegren

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Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:24 AM

Cadbury non-melting chocolate:

http://www.latimes.c...oney & Company)


I know! What is the POINT of non-melting chocolate? I already hate most of the expensive 90% chocolate bars that are around because they are crisp and brittle and don't melt at body temperature, and they crunch when you bite them. Chocolate should not crunch, it should melt in a lovely bittersweet puddle of deliciousness. What is the world coming to?

#43 liuzhou

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Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

Have Cadbury started making chocolate? There may yet be hope. They have made a lot of stuff for years. Nothing I would have called chocolate.

#44 ChrisTaylor

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Posted 02 December 2012 - 11:39 PM

How about the growing ... acceptance of products that are pitched as organic but are actually really disgusting? I mean, it might be organic and have magic woo power ... but if it doesn't taste anywhere near as nice as the evil version I'm not going to buy it.

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#45 SylviaLovegren

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:25 AM

How about the growing ... acceptance of products that are pitched as organic but are actually really disgusting? I mean, it might be organic and have magic woo power ... but if it doesn't taste anywhere near as nice as the evil version I'm not going to buy it.


Example? I can't think what you're describing.

#46 LindaK

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:03 PM

Spotted at a trade show, frozen food section...Just in time for the holidays.

IMG_0150.JPG


 


#47 phatj

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:38 PM

I saw those at my local Acme for $55. I thought about it, not gonna lie, but ultimately I didn't trust that it would be any good. I see reviews are generally favorable, however.

#48 Creola

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:41 PM

These have been available in Louisiana for some time . The meat departments of stores put them out fresh or frozen as do butcher shops.Different types of stuffings are available.

#49 jrshaul

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 09:45 PM

If you find this depressing, Cupcake vodka (mentioned in this same article), is there to help you kill enough brain cells to enable you to forget that people have evidently lost track of the fact that booze is for grownups.


Actual interaction between two friends:

"Dan, is that cupcake flavored vodka?"
"Yes."
"Do you know what goes well with cupcake-flavored vodka?"
"No?"
"Underage girls with daddy issues."
"Hmm."
(pause)
"I suppose it does."

Spotted at a trade show, frozen food section...Just in time for the holidays.

IMG_0150.JPG


I jumped the shark on posting without reading the whole thread.

Dan bought one of these for thanksgiving, and roasted it straight frozen.

I didn't try any. Years of working at Papa John's has apparently made him immune to food poisoning.

I wonder how many more references to the man will result of this thread?

Edited by jrshaul, 04 December 2012 - 10:02 PM.


#50 xxchef

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Posted 20 December 2012 - 02:15 PM

Will your next burger be ground-up mealworms?
The wriggly beetle larvae known as mealworms could one day dominate supermarket shelves as a more sustainable alternative to chicken, beef, pork and milk, researchers in the Netherlands say. Full srticle here... http://www.foxnews.c...d-up-mealworms/
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#51 Badiane

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Posted 10 March 2013 - 09:12 AM

Marabou chocolate flavoured Philadelphia cream cheese: http://www.philadelp...a1&PagecRef=798.

The caption says, 'Let yourself be surprised'.

Saw a billboard for this last night, coming home from a dinner party; I didn't feel surprised, I felt 'Holy-hell-I'm-much-drunker-than-I-thought', so I had to look it up today, to see whether it actually existed outside my red-wine-inflamed mind.

It does.

Is this a thing anywhere else, or are the Philadelphia people just pranking Denmark?

 

Chocolate cream cheese is tasty stuff...haven't you ever had chocolate cheesecake?  Sub a slice of toast for the crust, smear it with chocolate Philly and you have yourself a cheesecake breakfast!  Probably healthier than Nutella. :smile:

 

I happen to know that the good people of Denmark are able to purchase individually wrapped chocolate slices (like a cheese slice) to place on their bread...and I am eternally envious.


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#52 Mjx

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Posted 10 March 2013 - 09:35 AM

Chocolate cream cheese is tasty stuff...haven't you ever had chocolate cheesecake?  Sub a slice of toast for the crust, smear it with chocolate Philly and you have yourself a cheesecake breakfast!  Probably healthier than Nutella. :smile:

 

I did once find myself in a situation where courtesy demanded that I eat chocolate cheesecake. It was a horrific and nauseating experience (because I don't care for cheese, and admittedly find the entire concept of cheese in sweets appalling). I'm clearly the wrong person to ask about this.
 

 

I happen to know that the good people of Denmark are able to purchase individually wrapped chocolate slices (like a cheese slice) to place on their bread...and I am eternally envious.

 

Yep, that's brilliant stuff (it's not individually wrapped, by the way, but in packets). I once tried some with licorice in it, at Keflavik airport, I believe, and that wasn't so great, although the fact that I like both licorice and chocolate kept it from being a true End Times experience for me.


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#53 GlorifiedRice

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Posted 10 March 2013 - 01:48 PM


Wawa Sizzli FTW!

#54 pastrygirl

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 06:18 PM

Scooping ketchup.

For when salsa just isn't sweet enough? Why would you need to scoop your ketchup? Are they intending it as a dip, or for easier measuring? Scooping mayonnaise also available.

http://sirkensington...heproducts.html

#55 SylviaLovegren

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 06:19 AM

Scooping ketchup.

For when salsa just isn't sweet enough? Why would you need to scoop your ketchup? Are they intending it as a dip, or for easier measuring? Scooping mayonnaise also available.

http://sirkensington...heproducts.html

I think -- not sure, mind you, but think -- it's "scooping" because they're too old-fashioned and veddy veddy British, don't you know, to have anything as vulgar as a squeeze bottle. So you "scoop" the hand-made real recipe old-fashioned ketchup with a knife or spoon from an old-fashioned wide-mouthed bottle. The ketchup actually sounds interesting to try but the website is so annoying (you have to click way too many times to get information and the clickable headers are vague) that I kind of gave up.

#56 Mjx

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 07:52 AM

This was being sampled at my local grocery store recently: http://www.dcicheese...go-fire-cheddar

So very wrong. I scoured the store for a sample of something else to get the taste out of my mouth. <shudder>

 

I'd say that when the two awards a cheese has received are for... package design, it's a distinct red flag (yeah, I know, old post, but I clicked on the link in it for the first time and, well, let's just say this is even better than I'd hoped for :wink: ).


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#57 LindaK

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Posted 30 June 2013 - 07:24 AM

Donuts as sandwich bread.  Witness:

 

Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Donut breakfast sandwich: fried egg and bacon between a sliced glazed donut

 

the Bronut: a burger patty and fried egg between a maple bacon glazed doughnut

 

Currently it seems like a local problem. Here's hoping that it isn't contagious.

 

 



 


#58 annabelle

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Posted 30 June 2013 - 08:28 AM

Sounds like fantastic hangover food.  Other than that, no thank you.



#59 GlorifiedRice

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Posted 30 June 2013 - 08:43 AM

The scooping ketchup tastes and smells identical to the squeeze, but its thicker like tomato paste.

They now have scooping mayo. Isnt all mayo scooping mayo? Aside from Kewpie
Wawa Sizzli FTW!

#60 Twyst

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Posted 30 June 2013 - 01:20 PM

Donuts as sandwich bread.  Witness:

 

Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Donut breakfast sandwich: fried egg and bacon between a sliced glazed donut

 

the Bronut: a burger patty and fried egg between a maple bacon glazed doughnut

 

Currently it seems like a local problem. Here's hoping that it isn't contagious.

It's definitely made it to Austin

From a local Burger place menu

That's a 1/2 lb of beef, fried egg, jalapeno jack cheese, bacon and fried egg between two halves of a Krispy Kreme