Most Useless Kitchen Items and Utensils

[HungryChris]

When we spotted this handy little item today while walking around after lunch in Rapallo, Italy, I just knew I would try to breathe new life into this thread. You just have to wonder if they have sold any.

HC

[Anna N]

6 minutes ago, HungryChris said:

When we spotted this handy little item today while walking around after lunch in Rapallo, Italy, I just knew I would try to breathe new life into this thread. You just have to wonder if they have sold any.

HC

 

Oh, but it would be so much more fun than a boring squeeze bottle. 

[HungryChris]

48 minutes ago, Anna N said:

Oh, but it would be so much more fun than a boring squeeze bottle. 

I think if you could nail someone from across the room with say, soy sauce or ketchup with it, but that doesn't seem likely, based on the picture.

HC

Edited September 17, 2018 by HungryChris (log)

[blue_dolphin]

2 hours ago, HungryChris said:

I think if you could nail someone from across the room with say, soy sauce or ketchup with it, but that doesn't seem likely, based on the picture.

HC

 

 

Yes!  I was imagining two kids going at each other with the ketchup & mustard!   

 

Seeing that food-shooting gun brings to mind this Bug-A-Salt Rifle that shoots table salt.  A friend has adopted it as a regular item of kitchen equipment in order to deal with an annoying fly problem. 

I had no idea that such a thing existed but she finds it quite satisfying.  I'm considering the pink camo version myself 

[heidih]

21 minutes ago, blue_dolphin said:

 

Seeing that food-shooting gun brings to mind this Bug-A-Salt Rifle that shoots table salt.  A friend has adopted it as a regular item of kitchen equipment in order to deal with an annoying fly problem. 

I had no idea that such a thing existed but she finds it quite satisfying.  I'm considering the pink camo version myself 

'

On the sauce gun - !!! - one more thing to clean. On the fly killer - we had fun with this one (no salt; just swats) years ago  https://www.basspro.com/shop/en/bass-pro-shops-flyshooter-the-original-bug-gun

[Anna N]

34 minutes ago, blue_dolphin said:

I had no idea that such a thing existed but she finds it quite satisfying.  I'm considering the pink camo version myself 

Get thee behind me, Satan!

[JoNorvelleWalker]

45 minutes ago, Anna N said:

Get thee behind me, Satan!

 

Now in my amazon shopping cart.  At least it's just salt without the spam.

 

[JoNorvelleWalker]

4 hours ago, HungryChris said:

When we spotted this handy little item today while walking around after lunch in Rapallo, Italy, I just knew I would try to breathe new life into this thread. You just have to wonder if they have sold any.

HC

 

Carry one home with you on the plane.

 

[DesertTinker]

1 hour ago, blue_dolphin said:

Seeing that food-shooting gun brings to mind this Bug-A-Salt Rifle that shoots table salt.

Aaaand... one can also get a Laser sight  to go with!🤣

[Kim Shook]

I'm not singling (that word doesn't look right) her out, but it is a good example of what I've seen a LOT of lately: these utterly useless measuring cups.  Look at that rippled edge - how in the world do you measure anything accurately with those?  I'm seeing so many of these designer measuring cups - clunky, breakable and unusable.  

[Toliver]

14 hours ago, Kim Shook said:

I'm not singling (that word doesn't look right) her out, but it is a good example of what I've seen a LOT of lately: these utterly useless measuring cups.  Look at that rippled edge - how in the world do you measure anything accurately with those?  I'm seeing so many of these designer measuring cups - clunky, breakable and unusable.  

Nigella Lawson used to sell a set of measuring cups where the fill line indicating the measurement was painted on the inside below the lip of the cup.

Such a disconnect between the use of the cup and the design of the cup. It's nice to see the Pioneer Woman carrying on this absurd tradition.

[Wolf]

I had one potato 'drill' (must have it in my utensils drawer somewhere, I guess ) that saw some heavy use when we were kids and haven't seen one in decades since.

 

It was used to cut out a spiral piece of potato straight through the center. The hole was then filled with ground meat, and stuffed potatos were then baked in the oven, along with spirals that were cut out. Throw in a lettuce on the side and we kids enjoyed it very much... Oh, the simplicities of youth. 

[andiesenji]

28 minutes ago, Wolf said:

I had one potato 'drill' (must have it in my utensils drawer somewhere, I guess ) that saw some heavy use when we were kids and haven't seen one in decades since.

 

It was used to cut out a spiral piece of potato straight through the center. The hole was then filled with ground meat, and stuffed potatos were then baked in the oven, along with spirals that were cut out. Throw in a lettuce on the side and we kids enjoyed it very much... Oh, the simplicities of youth. 

I have a "vintage" metal one somewhere in one of the boxes of old kitchen gadgets I have collected over the years.

And then I have a newer set, a gift from a friend, that is somewhere hidden in with newer junk.  I will look for it later, meanwhile here is the only photo I could find of it on line.  My friend bought it at the kitchen outlet store on the I-10 on the way to Palm Springs.

 

[Wolf]

Hehe, the vintage ones were way cooler. 

 

I just googled one with detachable handle ti can be put away in... Never imagined they still make potato corers. 

[andiesenji]

They use them to core zucchini, yellow squash, cucumbers, etc.  I have a longer strait one.  And two or three apple corers.  There was a definite fad about three or four years ago of coring and stuffing all kinds of things. 

 

This one overall is 11 inches long. 

Edited September 25, 2018 by andiesenji (log)

[chileheadmike]

I was talking with a friend over the weekend who said he was going to make "tater-pigs". I'd never heard of such a thing and asked him what it was.

He said he drills out the center of  a baker and fills with raw sausage, onion and cheese, then bakes. I asked him what he uses to drill out the spud. "My electric drill."  Seems his drill bits are cleaner than mine. 

[andiesenji]

7 hours ago, chileheadmike said:

I was talking with a friend over the weekend who said he was going to make "tater-pigs". I'd never heard of such a thing and asked him what it was.

He said he drills out the center of  a baker and fills with raw sausage, onion and cheese, then bakes. I asked him what he uses to drill out the spud. "My electric drill."  Seems his drill bits are cleaner than mine. 

I had a set of hole drills years ago that I used for drilling different sized holes in squash, melons, etc., for making centerpieces when I was catering.  They were only about 2 inches long so not really long enough to drill through a potato end to end, but they were very hand for my tasks. 

[Franci]

OMG, for much that I love

pata negra. I would never see myself buying a Prosthetic Ham Hoof 🤣🤣🤣 to bing back dignity to my jamón 

[DesertTinker]

5 hours ago, Franci said:

OMG, for much that I love

pata negra. I would never see myself buying a Prosthetic Ham Hoof 🤣🤣🤣 to bing back dignity to my jamón 

...“This sleek ‘Pata Negra’ black ham hoof prosthetic will bring dignity back to your Ibérico ham.” 🙄 ...”You may want to paint the hoof to make it look even more lifelike” 🤢 ... “If you do decide to decorate your Pata in a festive way, please send us a photo that we can post!” 🤣🤣

[Tropicalsenior]

Call me nosy if you like, but one of my favorite things to do is to see what topics other people are reading, especially our online guests. It takes me down some very interesting rabbit holes. Some of them are very old rabbit holes. Occasionally I find one that I think should definitely be revived. This is one of them.

Recently, our discussion of Wooden Spoons prompted me to clear out the ones that I never use. This one has sent me back into my drawers and cabinets and I can't believe the useless junk that I have found. Some things I have gotten as gifts, but most of the junk, I am guilty of buying myself.

A tiny ricer, can't even put a quarter of a potato in it, probably used once.

Two plunger type choppers that only work for chopping nuts.

A donut cutter, probably only used once because it cuts the dough just fine but it wouldn't come back out of the cutter. And I probably haven't made donuts in 20 years.

I'm just getting started pitching things so I can probably add more as I go along. How about the rest of you? What totally useless things do you have hidden in your kitchen?

[BeeZee]

Someone sent me one of those plastic thingys that strips herb leaves off stems (little slots/holes). I didn't even use it, put it straight into the donation pile. A long time ago I had a zester, which I tossed in favor of Y-peeler and microplane. If I want little thin strips of zest, I'm fine with cutting down strips of peel.

[Smithy]

My mother had a large version of the slap-chopper for nuts that I think Tropicalsenior is referring to. She used it a LOT. I had a smaller one adequate to my purposes, and did find it useful...until my knife skills got better. I gave it to my great-niece, who's just started setting up house. If she doesn't want it she can donate it. Ditto a hand-cranked nut grinder like the one I grew up with, that makes more uniformly small chunks but that I never used. (That went to my great-nephew.) I wouldn't call either of those useless, except to me; they were taking up space. I bought one of those plastic thingys for stripping off herb leaves, and it's probably going to go into a donation bin. THAT one I might seriously consider useless.

[Tropicalsenior]

10 minutes ago, Smithy said:

I wouldn't call either of those useless, except to me

I probably should have clarified more. I had one of those that I absolutely loved. The blade rotated as it punched down. The clear plastic base finally cracked and I held it together with packing tape until I felt that it was no longer very sanitary. I since tried to replace it and the first one had a hesitation glitch so that by the time it hit the nuts it barely caressed them. The second one does not have a rotating blade so that you have to shake it between punches to get it to find the nuts. They are both poorly designed garbage so they are going out with the rest of the garbage.

Edited March 30, 2023 by Tropicalsenior (log)

[AlaMoi]

chop-o-matics . . . from the 50's . . .

https://www.ebay.com/itm/295434115921

[Katie Meadow]

4 hours ago, Tropicalsenior said:

Call me nosy if you like, but one of my favorite things to do is to see what topics other people are reading, especially our online guests. It takes me down some very interesting rabbit holes. Some of them are very old rabbit holes. Occasionally I find one that I think should definitely be revived. This is one of them.

Recently, our discussion of Wooden Spoons prompted me to clear out the ones that I never use. This one has sent me back into my drawers and cabinets and I can't believe the useless junk that I have found. Some things I have gotten as gifts, but most of the junk, I am guilty of buying myself.

A tiny ricer, can't even put a quarter of a potato in it, probably used once.

Two plunger type choppers that only work for chopping nuts.

A donut cutter, probably only used once because it cuts the dough just fine but it wouldn't come back out of the cutter. And I probably haven't made donuts in 20 years.

I'm just getting started pitching things so I can probably add more as I go along. How about the rest of you? What totally useless things do you have hidden in your kitchen?

Are you positive that tiny ricer wasn't actually a garlic press?

 

This is a hilarious thread I forgot all about. One of the silliest gadgets I owned was a little plastic contraption with no other use than to split string beans lengthwise. I don't know about any of you, but no string bean of mine ever needed such a death trap. Are some of the posts above describing those nut choppers that were used with a pint canning jar? There was a wooden disc that sat on the bottom and them the four bladed cutting stem was attached to the screw on lid. They never worked efficiently; some nuts ended up powdered and others stuck to the blades preventing further chopping. Totally ridiculous. Cutting the nuts with a knife took less time and trouble. Part of the reason we keep these things around is because they are so historically funny; invented for a bygone use that were either appreciated then or not. Small town flea markets provided so many moments of amazement and curiosity.