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Food Funnies

Keith_W

By Keith_W
in Food Media & Arts

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Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted

Well the lobster has truly "gone home".

http://www.cp24.com/news/lobster-dies-after-being-rescued-by-humane-society-1.1758713

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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  • 8 months later...
Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted

Michaela,,

That is hard to beat in terms of being completely nauseating.

  • Like 3

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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JohnT

JohnT

Posted
Posted

I thought the following news report a few weeks ago was pretty good.

Xmas biscuit sugar sparks German terror alert

2014-12-02 05:00

Berlin - Vanilla sugar for Christmas biscuits trickling from an envelope sparked a bioterrorism scare at a German mail distribution centre on Monday, local police said.

Police, paramedics and a fire brigade team in full protective suits swarmed the facility after staff spotted the white powder and an employee complained of itching, apparently fearing it was a dangerous chemical or biological agent.

Testing quickly determined that the material was not dangerous, said police after the incident in the town of Pinneberg near the northern city of Hamburg.

Further investigation found that the material was home-made vanilla flavoured sugar which a 40-year-old woman had mailed to her mother, who was planning to bake traditional Christmas biscuits for the family.

- AFP

Cape Town - At the foot of a flat topped mountain with a tablecloth covering it.

Some time ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.

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JohnT

JohnT

Posted
Posted

The following has been put together from various news sources. It could be titled "Only in Africa", but I think the headline should be "There Goes Christmas Dinner".

Two cousins have appeared in the Mahwelereng Magistrate's Court, Limpopo Province, South Africa, for allegedly stealing a cow and an ambulance they used as a getaway vehicle.

Blade Olifant, 26, and Kgothatso Olifant, 27, allegedly stole a cow and loaded it in the back of an ambulance in Mahwelereng. They stole the ambulance from outside a house whilst the paramedics were attending to a patient in the house.

"The two bundled a cow inside the ambulance oblivious of the fact that is was marked and easily identifiable," police spokesman Mulaudzi Hangwani said in a statement.

"Community members contacted the police who quickly set up a roadblock where the duo, with sirens blaring, thought they would not be stopped."

Police found a live cow inside the ambulance as well as bottles of beer.

The two were released on a warning and would appear again on 15 January.

The cow was identified by its owner after it was placed under the care of the local Society For Prevention of Cruelty Against Animals.

"Sometimes the criminal makes it almost too easy for the police. The two were apparently wanting to slaughter the cow for their family Christmas dinner but will now just be having pap (maize porridge)," Mulaudzi said.

Source: I put the above together from various news sources and a police press statement.

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Cape Town - At the foot of a flat topped mountain with a tablecloth covering it.

Some time ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.

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Porthos

Porthos

Posted
Posted

Real Life Food Funny.

 

I'm in the kitchen doing dishes. my 27 y/o daughter calls from the family room, "Papa, what is the trinity?"

 

I answer, "The Father, The Son..." (thinking now, wait, she knows that - oh) "Onion, celery and green bell pepper."

  • Like 7

Porthos Potwatcher
The Once and Future Cook

;

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

Real Life Food Funny.

 

I'm in the kitchen doing dishes. my 27 y/o daughter calls from the family room, "Papa, what is the trinity?"

 

I answer, "The Father, The Son..." (thinking now, wait, she knows that - oh) "Onion, celery and green bell pepper."

 

That needs to become someone's tag line, Porthos.   :wink:

  • Like 3

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

The New Yorker tends to have funny (imo) food-related cartoons. Here are two recent ones: bagels  presentation

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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  • 3 weeks later...
Toliver

Toliver

Posted
Posted

Thanks, Kim. They gave me a good laugh for the day.

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Deryn

Deryn

Posted
Posted

The really sad thing is that most of those New Yorkers eat out 7 days a week and don't have a clue how to cook that kale anyway. (I am related to at least one 'hipster' in NYC who might well have been in those lines - if she hadn't already called for pizza and Chinese delivery.)

 

Thanks, Kim. Yes, those lineups and quips were funny. Had already seen them on the 'prepper' board I read - they were laughing too.

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suzilightning

suzilightning

Posted
Posted

The really sad thing is that most of those New Yorkers eat out 7 days a week and don't have a clue how to cook that kale anyway. (I am related to at least one 'hipster' in NYC who might well have been in those lines - if she hadn't already called for pizza and Chinese delivery.)

 

Thanks, Kim. Yes, those lineups and quips were funny. Had already seen them on the 'prepper' board I read - they were laughing too.

  • Like 2

Nothing is better than frying in lard.

Nothing.  Do not quote me on this.

 

Linda Ellerbee

Take Big Bites

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Cara Scissoria (She has lots of other themes, too.)

 

For example: Happy Textgiving  Angel Food Truck

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"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

Those are funny. I didn't guess a single title, but I liked them. Planet of the Aprons, indeed!

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

The New Yorker tends to have funny (imo) food-related cartoons. Here are two recent ones: bagels  presentation

 

And my most recent favorite, currently occupying a place of honor on the fridge: chopped liver

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Thanks for the Crepes

Thanks for the Crepes

Posted
Posted

Ooh Alex,

 

That's one thing that sends me off into Incendiary Land! Texting or otherwise fiddling around with your phone or other electronic devices at the dinner table after I have put so much effort into making a delicious, nutritious and hot meal for you. SOOO... RUDE.

 

Happy Textgiving indeed!

 

Sadly, I'm sure this happens in many households.

 

Unfortunately, my husband is a fan of playing FreeCell and taking any and all calls during the dinner hour. He's 65, so not a kid or teenager.

 

I'm try to serve a scalding hot dish, and he's hunched over the dining table, absorbed in manipulating his mouse. I put the dish to the side and let him burn himself, or better yet, I've lately taken to letting him get up and serve his own dish from the counter or stovetop. You wouldn't believe the surprised shock in his expression when I sit down and serve myself without serving him first after so many years of his being waited on hand and foot.  :biggrin:

 

There is much humor in what you posted, though, so don't let my frustration detract from it.  :smile:

  • Like 1

> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Ooh Alex,

 

That's one thing that sends me off into Incendiary Land! Texting or otherwise fiddling around with your phone or other electronic devices at the dinner table after I have put so much effort into making a delicious, nutritious and hot meal for you. SOOO... RUDE.

 

Happy Textgiving indeed!

 

Sadly, I'm sure this happens in many households.

 

Unfortunately, my husband is a fan of playing FreeCell and taking any and all calls during the dinner hour. He's 65, so not a kid or teenager.

 

I'm try to serve a scalding hot dish, and he's hunched over the dining table, absorbed in manipulating his mouse. I put the dish to the side and let him burn himself, or better yet, I've lately taken to letting him get up and serve his own dish from the counter or stovetop. You wouldn't believe the surprised shock in his expression when I sit down and serve myself without serving him first after so many years of his being waited on hand and foot.  :biggrin:

 

There is much humor in what you posted, though, so don't let my frustration detract from it.  :smile:

 

Not at all. Maybe you could buy that card and send it to him next Thanksgiving (or sooner). I did order several from her. She acknowledged the order and shipped the cards very quickly.

 

Her card "Sisters Vermicelli and Fusilli" reminds me of this cartoon from The New Yorker (20+ years ago!).

  • Like 1

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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tug

tug

Posted
Posted

We came across this hilarious video today :)

 

  • Like 7

Peter: You're a spy

Harry: I'm not a spy, I'm a shepherd

Peter: Ah! You're a shepherd's pie!

- The Goons

live well, laugh often, love much

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