Jump to content
  • Welcome to the eG Forums, a service of the eGullet Society for Culinary Arts & Letters. The Society is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of the culinary arts. These advertising-free forums are provided free of charge through donations from Society members. Anyone may read the forums, but to post you must create a free account.

Food Funnies


Recommended Posts

I haven't seen a jokes thread on eG, so to cut down on the seriousness a little I thought I would start a thread on food funnies :)

I'll kick off with this video on Youtube, about "crimes against Braai":
 

  • Like 1
There is no love more sincere than the love of food - George Bernard Shaw
Link to post
Share on other sites

Nice, Keith.

I'd been thinking along similar, lighten-the-mood lines. From the 'lost in translation' files, here's a sign near my local supermarket. Thing is, I know exactly what they mean ...

S_S.jpg

Leslie Craven, aka "lesliec"
Host, eG Forumslcraven@egstaff.org

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives ~ Oscar Wilde

My eG Foodblog

eGullet Ethics Code signatory

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this series is quite good, myself...I also think the girl is quite cute, for some reason...

  • Like 2

I'm a lifelong professional chef. If that doesn't explain some of my mental and emotional quirks, maybe you should see a doctor, and have some of yours examined...

Link to post
Share on other sites

1237137_754641931231929_1370714858_n.jpg

  • Like 8

This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this series is quite good, myself...I also think the girl is quite cute, for some reason...

This is the best. Thanks for linking it.

For some reason I feel like I'm watching outtakes from Veronica Mars?

  • Like 1

This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A 'spillehal' is a game arcade, not what you'd generally describe as a cosy or welcoming place. However, this one, at least, does have what strikes me as a charmingly Danish (and fairly amusing) take on the whole concept: the sign at the bottom (Altid kaffe på kanden samt kage/brød) notes that there is always a pot of coffee and cake/bread.

Spillehal.jpg

  • Like 2

Michaela, aka "Mjx"
Manager, eG Forums
mscioscia@egstaff.org

Link to post
Share on other sites

Feed the fish...

Get Fuzzy, part 1

Get Fuzzy, part 2

---------------------------

Calvin, on vegetables

Edited by Alex (log)

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...

These are two of our favorite mockumentary food related webisodes.

Posh Nosh (English)

and

Audrey's Kitchen (Australia)

  • Like 3

Peter: You're a spy

Harry: I'm not a spy, I'm a shepherd

Peter: Ah! You're a shepherd's pie!

- The Goons

live well, laugh often, love much

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...

The lobster rebellion

'. . . .I believe that Mother Nature gave us eyes because she did not want us to eat this type of food. Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks and McNuggets -- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed in someplace far away such as Nebraska. . . .'

(Dave Barry, Miami Herald, 28 January 1996 and  31 March 2014)

  • Like 1

Michaela, aka "Mjx"
Manager, eG Forums
mscioscia@egstaff.org

Link to post
Share on other sites

The lobster rebellion

'. . . .I believe that Mother Nature gave us eyes because she did not want us to eat this type of food. Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks and McNuggets -- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed in someplace far away such as Nebraska. . . .'

(Dave Barry, Miami Herald, 28 January 1996 and  31 March 2014)

Excellent! Thanks for the link. Won't put me off lobster though. But he's so right about oysters!

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

Link to post
Share on other sites

In 1995, David Foster Wallace took on an assignment from Harper's to write about a voyage on a Carribean cruise ship. The article was published in 1996 as "Shipping Out." It was later retitled as "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again", as the title essay in his 1997 collection. As might be expected, there are several passages about food and dining. Here's just one footnote (DFW was fond of footnotes):

 

 

This is counting the Midnight Buffet, which tends to be a kind of lamely lavish Theme-slash-Costume-Partyish thing, w/Theme-related foods -- Oriental, Carribean, Tex-Mex -- and which I plan in this essay to mostly skip except to say that Tex-Mex night out by the pools featured what must have been a seven-foot-high ice sculpture of Pancho Villa that spent the whole party dripping onto the mammoth sombrero of Tibor, Table 64's beloved and extremely cool Hungarian waiter, whose contract forces him on Tex-Mex night to wear a serape and a straw sombrero with a 17" radius and to dispense Four Alarm chili from a steam table placed right underneath an ice sculpture, and whose pink and birdlike face on occasions like this expressed a combination of mortification and dignity that seem somehow to sum up the whole plight of postwar Eastern Europe.

 

Essay, part one   Essay, part two

 

And to echo Dave Barry's article referenced in Mjx's post, Wallace wrote a piece in 2004 for Gourmet -- "Consider the Lobster" -- which begins with the Maine Lobster Festival, and the eating of lobsters in general, then turns to the ethics involved in storing and killing lobsters. There's not much overt humor in the article, but he gets in a few good zingers, such as:

 

 

In fact, one obvious project of the MLF, and of its omnipresently sponsorial Maine Lobster Promotion Council, is to counter the idea that lobster is unusually luxe or rich or unhealthy or expensive, suitable only for effete palates or the occasional blow-the-diet treat. It is emphasized over and over in presentations and pamphlets at the Festival that Maine lobster meat has fewer calories, less cholesterol, and less saturated fat than chicken.*

 

*Then, in a footnote (!), he writes: Of course, the common practice of dipping the lobster meat in melted butter torpedoes all these happy fat-specs, which none of the Council’s promotional stuff ever mentions, any more than potato-industry PR talks about sour cream and bacon bits.

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

Link to post
Share on other sites

Only in Canada you say? Perhaps someone could have called an air ambulance to get this lobster home? A lobster? C'mon you're kidding right?

http://www.680news.com/2014/04/02/lobster-abandoned-in-st-catharines-ont-parking-lot-may-get-flight-home/

  • Like 1

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Recently Browsing   1 member

×
×
  • Create New...