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Recoil Rob

Bastard condiments?

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Indian pickle, is that the stuff that is extremely sour and has that spoiled taste? It looks like relish? Me and the wife went to a Indian buffet, we both tried it, my wife couldn't get her bite down. I struggled. Needless to say, Indian food isn't for us. The Naan bread and goat kabobs were pretty much the only items we loved, but not worth another trip.

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"Heinz debuting Mayocue and Mayomust for those times when Mayochup just won't cut it"

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Following the successful reception of Mayochup, it would seem that Heinz has been feverishly mixing mayonnaise into all the other half-used condiment jars in the company fridge.

On Tuesday, Heinz officially announced intentions to bring Mayocue and Mayomust — mayonnaise-based barbecue and mustards, respectively — to the market sometime this spring.

Just another way to sell more mayo, I guess.:hmmm:

 

 

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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1 hour ago, Toliver said:

 Yep. It’s terribly hard to mix a little mustard with my mayo but at least I get it to the exact ratio I choose. 😂 

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Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

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On 11/8/2008 at 7:38 PM, prasantrin said:

Isn't that kind of like seafood cocktail sauce? I make cocktail sauce with ketchup and horseradish, but no mustard. Do you use regular mustard or dijon?

 

My favorite mixed-from-bottles cocktail sauce is Heinz "Chili Sauce" (which is basically just fancy ketchup), horseradish, and a few drops of a strong hot sauce (the TJ's habanero sauce works pretty well). I've used ketchup when I've been out of chili sauce, though.

 

Generally I find chili sauce adds a little complexity to most ketchup hacks.

 

Other favorite cheater sauces:


Sour cream + horseradish + salt & pepper: "horseradish cream" for steaks or roast beef

Hoisin + barbecue sauce (as a sandwich topping)

Honey + hot sauce (for fried chicken)

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Replacement "gocuchang" that I can no longer have because I'm now allergic to soy -

 

Fine Korean red pepper +  a little brown  sugar + Red Boat Fish Sauce + Coconut aminos = a decent not a bad hot pepper paste ... it's certainly not gochugang - but it'll do when you can't have the real thing! 

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On 3/14/2019 at 6:20 PM, dtremit said:

 

My favorite mixed-from-bottles cocktail sauce is Heinz "Chili Sauce" (which is basically just fancy ketchup), horseradish, and a few drops of a strong hot sauce (the TJ's habanero sauce works pretty well). I've used ketchup when I've been out of chili sauce, though.

 

Generally I find chili sauce adds a little complexity to most ketchup hacks.

 

Other favorite cheater sauces:


Sour cream + horseradish + salt & pepper: "horseradish cream" for steaks or roast beef

Hoisin + barbecue sauce (as a sandwich topping)

Honey + hot sauce (for fried chicken)

Have you ever tried the Mae Ploy Sweet Chili Sauce?  The first time I tried it I bought a small bottle - lasted 3 days. I went back and got a larger bottle and went through that rapidly so I began buying 6 bottles at a time so I always had a supply.

I have mixed it with my homemade mustard to smear on pork roasts and slabs of ribs, mixed it with mayo (homemade) for a spicy salad dressing - amazing on fruit salads,  mixed it with creamy horseradish sauce for dipping vegetable tempura, various fries, fish ( I am limited to freshwater because of an iodine allergy) and I apply it straight to rice, grains, beans, mixtures of same and kedgeree.  Anywhere you want some spiciness.  I even put it on vanilla ice cream and it was good.

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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, andiesenji said:

Have you ever tried the Mae Ploy Sweet Chili Sauce?  The first time I tried it I bought a small bottle - lasted 3 days. I went back and got a larger bottle and went through that rapidly so I began buying 6 bottles at a time so I always had a supply.

I have mixed it with my homemade mustard to smear on pork roasts and slabs of ribs, mixed it with mayo (homemade) for a spicy salad dressing - amazing on fruit salads,  mixed it with creamy horseradish sauce for dipping vegetable tempura, various fries, fish ( I am limited to freshwater because of an iodine allergy) and I apply it straight to rice, grains, beans, mixtures of same and kedgeree.  Anywhere you want some spiciness.  I even put it on vanilla ice cream and it was good.

 

The other day I reduced a combination of sweet chili sauce, soy sauce, and chili paste to use as as a glaze for chicken thighs. It came out quite well.


Edited by chord (log)

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6 hours ago, andiesenji said:

Have you ever tried the Mae Ploy Sweet Chili Sauce?  The first time I tried it I bought a small bottle - lasted 3 days. I went back and got a larger bottle and went through that rapidly so I began buying 6 bottles at a time so I always had a supply.

I have mixed it with my homemade mustard to smear on pork roasts and slabs of ribs, mixed it with mayo (homemade) for a spicy salad dressing - amazing on fruit salads,  mixed it with creamy horseradish sauce for dipping vegetable tempura, various fries, fish ( I am limited to freshwater because of an iodine allergy) and I apply it straight to rice, grains, beans, mixtures of same and kedgeree.  Anywhere you want some spiciness.  I even put it on vanilla ice cream and it was good.

 

1 hour ago, chord said:

 

The other day I reduced a combination of sweet chili sauce, soy sauce, and chili paste to use as as a glaze for chicken thighs. It came out quite well.

 

 

I used to keep it on hand but find it too sweet. For people sensitive to heat it is a great intro. I used to make a dip with with it + vinegar for the first fried squash and herb blossoms. People still come up to me years later and comment - "that lady Heidi fed me flowers - they were good!"

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On 3/17/2019 at 2:30 AM, haresfur said:

 

Do they call it Mayomust because Dijonnaise is copyright?

I think because they started with "Mayochup" that they're trying to make it a "thing" by naming all their other bastardized condiments that they come up with a similar sounding name. :hmmm:


 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Having stirred up a batch of Mississippi Comeback Sauce today for my shrimp salad, I wonder if that would qualify as a bastard condiment? It includes mayo, chili sauce, mustard, ketchup, hot sauce  and Worcestershire sauce, along with paprika, onion and garlic powder, and pepper.

 

Makes a fine spread for a turkey sandwich. Benefits, in that instance, from a sprinkle of curry powder.

 

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On 3/19/2019 at 4:43 AM, Toliver said:

I think because they started with "Mayochup" that they're trying to make it a "thing" by naming all their other bastardized condiments that they come up with a similar sounding name. :hmmm:

 

neither are very appealing names imo

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It's almost never bad to feed someone.

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"Love ranch dressing? Kraft Heinz and St. Louis restaurant have five new flavors on the way"

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Thanks to a partnership with Kraft Heinz, St. Louis-based restaurant Twisted Ranch is starting to sell five of its ranch dressing flavors nationwide.

The Missouri restaurant has only one location and everything on its the menu is made with ranch, Twisted Ranch co-founder and co-owner Chad Allen said. The restaurant has 33 unique flavors, which are made in-house daily, he said. It doesn't currently serve desserts.

...The varieties arriving at grocery stores include: Black Pepper Parmesan, Cheesy Smoked Bacon, Garlic Smashed Buffalo, Honey Dipped Wasabi and Mango Spiked Habañero.

The condiments are currently in limited release (see the distribution map in the article). But coming to the ranch-saturated nation soon!

 

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Lordy...this is never going to stop, is it?

"Heinz unveils another unconventional sauce with 'Kranch,' a combination of ketchup and ranch"

Quote

...Heinz has added yet another unusual condiment to its collection.
"Kranch" combines ketchup, ranch, and a "special blend of spices."
The company's latest "Saucy Sauce" will hit shelves nationwide in April and sells for a suggested retail price of $3.49 per 19-ounce bottle.

I believe this version is different than the multi-flavored versions mentioned in the previous post.

 

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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I have stolen this from another forum I read.

 

Quote

As I said on the matching Facebook thread, the majority of my billion dollar ideas are mayonnaise-centric and include, but are by no means limited to:
Sprayonnaise - the spray-on, stay-on mayonnaise. This is the good one, so you're all on your honour not to steal it and go on Dragon's Den just because I can't be arsed.
Cheonnaise - the revolutionary mayonnaise. I made a label for this but I can't remember where I put it. "I am not interested in dry economic mayonnaise."
Greyonnase - it's grey mayonnaise. Marketing can worry about that one.
Displayonnaise - just a painted jar, ideal for displays in shops or the film industry.
Piagetonnaise - loaded with omega 3 to aid cognitive development in children.
Clayonnaise (poss. playonnaise) - a thick, moldable mayonnaise to make mayonnaise mealtime fun.
Lingerieonnaise - there's a pair of pants in the jar, I expect. You scoop them out, put them on and then lay on the bed with a platter of cold meats and crudités, waiting for your husband to show up.
Wimowehonnaise - the jungle favourite.
Filletonnaise - chunks of steak pre-mixed in for your convenience.
Milk Trayonnaise - all because the lady loves chocolate and mayonnaise and strawberry filling all mixed up in a jar.
Lattéonnaise - pull a sandwich all-nighter with two thick spoons of heavily caffeinated, creamy mayonnaise in your turkey club.
Norwayonnaise - liven up your lapskaus and put some gumption in your gravlaks with the national mayonnaise of the Norwegian people.
Puréeonnaise - to be honest, this is just rebranded regular mayonnaise, because fuck it! Why not?
DNAonnaise - custom-made to contain strands of your very own DNA! You're essentially spreading yourself on bread.
Gourmetonnaise - our very finest mayonnaise. For connoisseurs of mayonnaise only! To be honest etc.


Celebrity series:
Dr. Dreonnaise - still D.R.E-licious!
Michael Bayonnaise - basically just a big jar full of shit and glitter. Marketing can worry about that one.
Oliver Freyonnaise - classic Crash covers on the label, you know you'd all pay good mayonnaise money for this.
Jam Master Jayonnaise - "Is your turkey tougher than leather?"
Tina Feyonnaise - obviously contracts will have to be worked out for many of these, but I don't foresee any problems.
Hemingwayonnaise, Gallowayonnaise, crayonnaise, gayonnaise, Dock of the Bayonnaise, Bubléonnaise, duck bombayonnaise, D-dayonnaise, bidetonnaise, Green Dayonnaise, I mean I could go on but I expect you get the idea, it's a series of novelty mayonnaise products.

 

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On 3/16/2019 at 9:12 PM, andiesenji said:

Have you ever tried the Mae Ploy Sweet Chili Sauce?  The first time I tried it I bought a small bottle - lasted 3 days. I went back and got a larger bottle and went through that rapidly so I began buying 6 bottles at a time so I always had a supply.

I have mixed it with my homemade mustard to smear on pork roasts and slabs of ribs, mixed it with mayo (homemade) for a spicy salad dressing - amazing on fruit salads,  mixed it with creamy horseradish sauce for dipping vegetable tempura, various fries, fish ( I am limited to freshwater because of an iodine allergy) and I apply it straight to rice, grains, beans, mixtures of same and kedgeree.  Anywhere you want some spiciness.  I even put it on vanilla ice cream and it was good.

 

There's always a bottle in my fridge -- though honestly I've never thought to mix it with anything! Putting it in a salad dressing sounds quite nice. I grew up eating fruit salads with a dressing of sour cream + brown sugar, and I imagine it would be a good sub in that.

 

(That said, I'm one of Those People with a very high tolerance for chili heat -- the spice in sweet chili sauces doesn't even register for me. I think of it as interchangeable with sweet+sour. This sometimes becomes awkward when I prepare food I think is mild and it blows someone's head off...)

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On 4/5/2019 at 8:07 AM, stephen129 said:

I have stolen this from another forum I read.

 

 

 

I like the way that person's mind works.

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Don't ask. Eat it.

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Posted (edited)

I accidentally bought a jar of the McClure's spicy pickles; I'm a half sour devotee so these are not going to be enjoyed as is; they are S*p*i*Cy*.   So I improvised, I made dill-pickle salsa.   I used my handy dandy manual food chopper and chopped the pickles, cherry tomatoes, and pickled garlic.   I added a bit of sour cream to give it some body.  

 

Served it with the Trader Joe's veggie and flax seed chips.  It was good and spicy.   Not as relishy as I feared, a proper salsa type condiment.

 

 


Edited by lemniscate (log)
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"The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself."

Ursula K. Le Guin

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

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Today, June 5th, is National Ketchup Day according to this article:

"Ed Sheeran thinks this ketchup is perfect"

Quote

...The "Shape of You" singer on Wednesday unveiled an ad campaign with Heinz Ketchup that combines his well-documented love of the condiment and his penchant for cheeky humor.
...Sheeran is a longtime fan of Heinz and even has a tattoo of the company's logo on his arm.

My computer won't take me to the linked page selling his special ketchup due to its lack of privacy control. My loss.:biggrin:

 

 


 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Now I think I have seen just about everything:

"Kraft introduces 'Salad Frosting' to help trick your kids into eating more vegetables"

Quote

Salad frosting. Yes, it's a thing.

Instead of simply asking kids to eat salad dressing -- or pretending the age-old condiment bears the hallmarks of a dessert staple -- Kraft Heinz has introduced "Salad Frosting," with the sweet tooth-invoking word right there on the label.
But here's the catch: It's just a slim tube of ranch dressing, relabeled so parents can trick kids into happily eating their vegetables.

Kids aren't stupid and they know what Ranch dressing tastes like. It's a one-time gimmick and you're back at square one. ¬¬

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Today while perusing the grocery shelves looking for plain old French's ballpark yellow mustard, I saw "Perinaise."

 

I passed.

 

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