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Food Funnies

Keith_W

By Keith_W
in Food Media & Arts

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Thanks for the Crepes

Thanks for the Crepes

Posted
Posted (edited)

Here is another one from stand-up comedian, Jim Gaffigan. It is looonng, almost 90 minutes, but if you are Obsessed about food, like me, you might enjoy it. It's recorded from a live performance in Boston.

 

He rags hard on Southern food, including grits, which I love as a G.R.I.T.S lady, but I have a sense of humor about it. He also rags on: kale, cottage cheese, pita and wraps, gluten-free, Whole Foods, seafood (blasphemy, but still funny, at least to me), Kobe beef, and desserts in China (sorry huiray and liuzhou), including the Americanized fortune cookies.

 

Also bars (long rant): "Female bartenders always seem like they're a little bit tougher than they need to be. I don't want to describe them as bitchy, because that would describe them perfectly."

 

Other quotes yours truly liked:

 

"Hotdogs are like strippers. No one wants to hear the backstory." This was in reference to ingredients in said sausages.

 

"I have five kids. I used to have more, but I ate them." This guy is crazy, but funny to me. :smile:

 

 

 

 

Edit: second time around watching it, I caught my very favorite quote from his routine, which I had noted in my feeble mind, then promptly forgot.

 

"No one really wants fruit. It's too much work with fruit, right? You gotta waaash it; you gotta peel off that sticker Al Qaeda put on there?" (Personally, I love fruit, but again, have a sense of humor about it.)

 

I despise those stickers, and I think he has an angle with Al Qaeda! :laugh:

 

 

Edited by Thanks for the Crepes (log)

> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Pearls Before Swine: Cheese conquers all

  • Like 4

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

Arey

Arey

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, liuzhou said:

Here is the latest in series on kitchen gadgets which has amused me a lot.

 

The full series can be found here.

I checked out the whole series.  I found the Egg Master to be very scary.The video of it working beats anything  I've seen on the the SyFy (science fiction) channel for sheer terror.

  • Like 2

"A fool", he said, "would have swallowed it". Samuel Johnson

liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Arey said:

I found the Egg Master to be very scary.The video of it working beats anything  I've seen on the the SyFy (science fiction) channel for sheer terror.

 

Yes. That one was scary. I just love some of the language and phrases he uses. Perhaps a bit British for some, but it tickles me.

  • Like 1

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, liuzhou said:

Here is the latest in series on kitchen gadgets which has amused me a lot.

 

The full series can be found here.

 

These are great. I had no idea. Thank you.

 

On a whim, a bunch of years ago I picked up that very same Egg Cuber, in pristine condition, for something like 50 cents. From time to time I'd bring it into the light to impress and amuse our guests, but I never used it to actually cube an egg. I've tried to sell it for 25 cents at our last few garage sales, but alas, no takers. Perhaps I should have charged 50 cents and included an actual cubed egg.

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

Kerry Beal

Kerry Beal

Posted
Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, liuzhou said:

Here is the latest in series on kitchen gadgets which has amused me a lot.

 

The full series can be found here.

 

My favourite - self heating butter knife - "pretty much winning a race that no one else was running"

Edited by Kerry Beal (log)

the Chocolate Doctor
www.thechocolatedoctor.ca

www.eztemper.com

 

Confectionary Course • Confectionary Course Q&A
eGullet foodblog 2006 • eGullet Foodblog 2012

  • 2 weeks later...
Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

@cakewalk, that's a strip I hadn't seen before.  Thanks!

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Smithy said:

@cakewalk, that's a strip I hadn't seen before.  Thanks!

 

xkcd is great! Randall Munroe is a physics/math/computer/science/slightly warped person, so many of his strips relate to those topics.

 

Here's another recent food-related one: Lunch

And another one: Food Combinations

And still another: Kitchen Tips

 

I also used to use xkcd to make a humorous point about statistics or the scientific method to my students, or sometimes just for a laugh.

Here's a recent favorite: Human Subjects

And another one: Placebo Blocker

 

OK, one more about food, etc.: Vodka 

Edited by Alex
to add another strip (log)
  • Like 3

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

cakewalk

cakewalk

Posted
Posted

He has a disclaimer: "Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)." His computer-related/scientific stuff often goes way over my head (I'm one of those liberal-arts majors), but he is so on-point about so many things. (Even food.)

 

  • Like 3
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted

I post this with some trepidation. I have no wish to restart the historic, but treacherous, poached egg war, but this amused me. Another in a series I have mentioned before.

  • Like 1

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

That's a very funny writeup.  I especially liked his take on what the witches in "Macbeth" were really up to at that cauldon.:-D

 

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

  • 1 month later...
Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Ms. Alex and I collect amusing typos from our students' papers and online discussion posts -- especially when it's clear the student relied solely on spell-check or auto-correct and didn't actually proofread carefully. We'll sometimes use them (anonymously, of course) to illustrate the risks inherent in such behavior. For example (to keep it food-related), students have written about eating "porn & beans" and "crap cakes." They've also "asked my pears for emotional support" and "conducted taste testes."

 

Of course, such mistakes also occur outside of academia. I recently was doing a little online research about a wine -- a lovely 2007 Domaine Serene Yamhill Cuvée Pinot Noir -- that I was planning to take to a BYOB restaurant. K&L Wine Merchants (they often show up on a Google search) still had it on their website, complete with excerpts from the usual reviewers, along with their own description. In it, they wrote,

 

Quote

...this is one that every Pinot fan will go gag over...

 

  • Like 5

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

Tri2Cook

Tri2Cook

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Alex said:

students have written about eating "porn & beans"


Maybe that's just a regional variation of Porn & Chicken? :P

It's kinda like wrestling a gorilla... you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired.

rotuts

rotuts

Posted
Posted (edited)

you can decide if this is a 'Funnies' or not.  there are food issue and eating issues involved.

 

reading a book that takes place in Montana.

 

at the start of Part Two a quote :

 

from  Tomas McGuane   " The Missouri Breaks "

 

     "The Closer you get to Canada, the more things'll eat your horse"

 

[Ed.: no idea if this 'M.B.'  is related to the movie  Missouri Breaks  w Jack Nicholson ]

Edited by rotuts (log)
  • Like 1
gfweb

gfweb

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, rotuts said:

you can decide if this is a 'Funnies' or not.  there are food issue and eating issues involved.

 

reading a book that takes place in Montana.

 

at the start of Part Two a quote :

 

from  Tomas McGuane   " The Missouri Breaks "

 

     "The Closer you get to Canada, the more things'll eat your horse"

 

[Ed.: no idea if this 'M.B.'  is related to the movie  Missouri Breaks  w Jack Nicholson ]

 

Tom McGuane is a trout fisher and good writer.

 

I approve.

  • Like 1
Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

A Few Questions About the Specials

 

Quote

What’s your favorite dish on the menu? We’ve never met and I don’t know anything about your tastes, but I’d love your suggestion of what to order. I’m not going to take it, but I want you to feel like I might.

 

  • Like 5

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Alex said:

A Few Questions About the Specials

 

 

Thanks.   I know someone who is not terribly far from the diner in this piece. It is funny to read but not so funny when you find yourself in a restaurant with her wishing you were somewhere else!

  • Like 1

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

  • 1 month later...
Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Party! Party! Party!

 

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...
Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted
56 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

There are some over serious people who may take exception to this, but it amused/amuses me.

 

Sous Vide Multi Cooker review – my breasts were extremely succulent

Even as a huge proponent of sous vide for some things this still made me smile.  I must remember the Vidal Sassoon reference!  Thanks. 

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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