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Food Funnies

Keith_W

By Keith_W
in Food Media & Arts

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, GlorifiedRice said:

 

 

This isnt exactly "funny" but it is ODD. Pay attention to the ingredients and the story about her son.

I was like, "whoah! did I just hear that?"

 

Poppies...Poppies...Poppies will put them to sleep.

 

In my clinic, a favorite excuse for a drug test turning up positive for opiods was, "I ate some poppy seed rolls (bagels, cake, etc.) the night before." "Uh, sorry, but I'm not buying that. Obviously you know that eating a sufficient amount of poppy seeds can cause a positive drug test, so you also know that you need to avoid those foods."

 

BTW, poppy seeds do not contain opium per se, but can become coated with it, or absorb some, during harvesting. Several variables influence how much opium remains after processing.

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

From The New Yorker: We Do Our Own Little Take On Ketchup

 

Quote

The ketchup here at the Stetson is made in-house with freshly diced tomatoes, a pinch of sugar, a touch of paprika, and it’s disgusting. It truly is gross. Nobody likes it, and all the customers secretly wish we just served Heinz ketchup instead.

 

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"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Pearls Before Swine on restaurant communal tables

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"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Porthos said:

@Alex  I actually really like communal tables.

I used to be horrified by them but no longer. You often meet interesting people and rarely run into total jerks. 

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Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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Toliver

Toliver

Posted
Posted

Many of the local Basque restaurants have communal tables and have had them for many decades.

Everything old is new again...

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Porthos

Porthos

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Toliver said:

Many of the local Basque restaurants have communal tables and have had them for many decades.

Everything old is new again...

One of the happy memories from my DW's and my trip to Germany in 1980 (celebrating my DW's BA in German Literature) was going to non-tourist local restaurants and sharing tables with to the local citizens. Many is the time I wished at least the more casual eating establishments here in the USA would adopt the communal table.

 

Way off topic: By plan, the best souvenir we brought home was born 9 months later.

 

And because this is the food funnies thread:

 

Vial of Gluten.jpg

 

I have friends who are self-diagnosed. Um, yeah, right. I also have friends who are medically diagnosed. I understand the difference.

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Porthos Potwatcher
The Once and Future Cook

;

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kayb

kayb

Posted
Posted
On 11/4/2016 at 11:37 AM, Porthos said:

@Alex  I actually really like communal tables.

 

I eat alone a fair amount when I'm traveling, so I enjoy communal tables, but rarely see them. If I'm somewhere there's a line and people are being seated, I always offer to share my table with anyone who wants to eat more quickly. I did that a few weeks ago when I was on the road, and wound up having a delightful lunch and conversation with a gentleman who was a retired state trooper and who had, amazingly enough, been partnered with a man I grew up with and haven't seen since we left high school.

 

I love how small the world is.

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Don't ask. Eat it.

www.kayatthekeyboard.wordpress.com

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, kayb said:

I love how small the world is.

 

I had two notable examples of that while my restaurant was open. The first was two couples from Germany...one had booked months ahead, the other came off the road because of bad weather and followed our signs. They got talking in the dining room, and it turned out they lived a block apart from each other at home in Germany. Go figure. 

 

The second involved an older couple travelling with their grandson (the boy was keen on cooking, so I let him help me make the fresh pasta for my lobster ravioli and pappardelle. He was thrilled). A younger couple turned out to be from the same state, and then from the same town, and then from the same neighbourhood. Eventually it turned out that the older couple's grandson and younger couple's son were on the same hockey team, and they'd somehow managed never to meet.

 

I remember being surprised that there was junior hockey that far south. IIRC they were from somewhere in one of the Carolinas. I guess that means the NHL Hurricanes are having at least a modest impact. 

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Pearls Before Swine on handwritten recipes

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"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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GlorifiedRice

GlorifiedRice

Posted
Posted

I know this is religion and politics but its still food and funny

 

Im involved in politics chat and there is a no preaching religion rule.

 

A lady came in and got on mic and immediately started preaching, she was immediately muted off mic.

Me being the wiseguy got on mic and said, 'let us pray...In the name of Ravioli, in the name of pappardele, linguini, angelhair, tortellini, etc let us all wear our Colanders proudly, AMEN"

 

Others then got on mic and named their favorite pastas.

 

Preachy lady left.

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Wawa Sizzli FTW!

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, GlorifiedRice said:

I know this is religion and politics but its still food and funny

 

Im involved in politics chat and there is a no preaching religion rule.

 

A lady came in and got on mic and immediately started preaching, she was immediately muted off mic.

Me being the wiseguy got on mic and said, 'let us pray...In the name of Ravioli, in the name of pappardele, linguini, angelhair, tortellini, etc let us all wear our Colanders proudly, AMEN"

 

Others then got on mic and named their favorite pastas.

 

Preachy lady left.

 

I think you forgot -- it should have been "Ramen."

 

(Both our posts probably are going to get hidden.)

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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GlorifiedRice

GlorifiedRice

Posted
Posted
Just now, Alex said:

 

I think you forgot -- it should have been "Ramen."

 

(Both our posts probably are going to get hidden.)

 

Ohhhh thats PERFECTION. Ill use that the next time one of them come in.... That leads to another story....

Wawa Sizzli FTW!

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GlorifiedRice

GlorifiedRice

Posted
Posted

So for some reason my neighborhood has a lot of Feral and Stray and Dumped cats.

So I bought a trap. I trapped the first one, a calico female who had just weaned her 2 kittens born under my neighbors deck.

Took her to the Vets to TNR her.

The vets asked for a name...The first thing that came to mind was that David Letterman episode with Tina Turner on it in which she used an appliance called "The TUNA Turner"...

So Calico became TUNA TURNER.

Trapped Tunas BabyDaddy, Named him PIKE Turner.

Trapped their son, hhhhhhmmmm....

Tina and Ike only had 1 child together, Ronald "Ronny" Turner.

He became "pRawny Turner....

Cats and fish names, lol

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Wawa Sizzli FTW!

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, GlorifiedRice said:

 

Ohhhh thats PERFECTION. Ill use that the next time one of them come in.... That leads to another story....

 

You mean...you're not familiar with Pastafarianism? You haven't been touched by his noodly appendage?

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, GlorifiedRice said:

 

BTW that sounds erotic like some sort of Italian off shoot of Japanese Hentai

 

Nope. Follow the links...

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted

 I did not write this but most of the words she must have stolen from my mind. The title, "Turkey is Gross,  But Turkey Stock is from God", says it all. 

@rotuts, avert your eyes.    Find something else to read.  xD

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Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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  • 4 weeks later...
chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

That's priceless...right up there with IKEA's Apple-spoofing catalogue-launch video. 

  • Like 2

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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