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Food Funnies

Keith_W

By Keith_W
in Food Media & Arts

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

5a7b1abba550c_dd.thumb.jpg.88a103359a7ec27a0d16d6893aec316c.jpg

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

I can't claim credit, my daughter sent me a link to a Facebook page (it was a different but equally geeky meme) and I found this one when I scrolled down a few screens' worth. I just knew it belonged in this thread...

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

The NY Times today had a science article about counting.  Chimpanzees and many species count better than humans and Norwegians, although counting itself is very primitive.  The Times reported that a human from 15,000 years ago could probably be understood by Neanderthal neighbors when discussing small numbers.  The brain area for mathematics, it seems, has little to do with the brain area for linguistics.

 

And if this doesn't apply to food, it applies to being eaten.

 

 

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Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

5a7f0b03689b8_ladydoritos.thumb.jpg.e4a700eec814c331b050f615974ad75b.jpg

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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pastrygirl

pastrygirl

Posted
Posted

Does my cursed Instant Pot mock God?
Yes. Summoning the powers of a profane occultist nightmare to save time in the kitchen is an abomination and an affront to God.

 

If this concerns you, please consider one of the many non-cursed Instant Pots available on our website.

 

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/faq-your-new-cursed-instant-pot

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted (edited)

I was in my local supermarket earlier, looking for a type of pickled vegetable I wanted. They didn't have it, but I spotted this which made me titter.

 

20180218_165623.thumb.jpg.72cb00866161691bb3742364ec647e3e.jpg

 

Definitely winner of the "Useless Information" Oscar 2018. I'm in China! Everything is eaten with rice! Even rice is eaten with rice!

 

Then I noticed this.

 

20180220_115516.thumb.jpg.53e5c20982293e28c7b26916272d7f6d.jpg

 

Got to be better than tasteless vegetables.

 

Neither of them take your fancy? Try this.

 

20180222_133059.thumb.jpg.72564bbabaebb7813e2a532830ebacde.jpg

I checked out the ingredients list on the back of each pack. They are identical. Yet the one for Tasty Vegetable  is a smidgeon less expensive. It takes less ink to write  "Tasty vegetable", I suppose.

No, I didn't buy any of them.

Edited by liuzhou
added third version (log)
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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted

"What a clucking mess"

I'm going to post this without comment. It hardly needs it.

https://www.thecanary.co/trending/2018/02/20/trade-union-pop-chicken-strapped-kfc-punniest-thing-youll-read-today/

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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted

Only mildly amusing, but a suitable riposte to the KFC chicken shortage.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/feb/22/is-southern-fried-squirrel-the-answer-to-kfcs-extraordinary-chicken-shortage

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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is probably an old one and everyone has seen it but I just got it in an email and I thought it was funny but oh so true.

 

ORDERING A PIZZA

CALLER:   Is this Rocco's Pizza?
GOOGLE:  No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:   I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE:  No sir, Google bought Rocco's Pizza last month.
CALLER:   OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:  Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:   My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:  According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:   OK! That's what I want ...
GOOGLE:  May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:   What?  I detest vegetables..
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:   How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE:  Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.   We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:  Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:  Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER:   I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE: That doesn't show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:   I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:   I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:  That doesn't show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER:   WHAT THE HELL?
GOOGLE:   I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:     Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:   I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago...

Edited by Tropicalsenior
Grammatical error (log)
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Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted (edited)

 I wanted to make a Chinese dish that liuzhou  had made  and I found a similar recipe on this site. The directions were hilarious. liuzhou said that it was just a bad computer translation but you still can't help but laugh when you read through the recipes. This one is particularly funny.

It's kind of a shame though, because there are almost a thousand recipes and most, barring a few pig spleens and chicken feet, look really good.

Edited by Tropicalsenior (log)
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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted (edited)

If I posted every odd, or just plain wrong translation of Chinese on food labels and menus that I see, I'd never get anything else done, but this one appealed to me in a number of ways.

 

students.thumb.jpg.698f468884fd5c60c48d1ede86b87556.jpg

 

If it had just been a case of the bizarre idea of students requiring some sort of pickle exclusive to them, I probably wouldn't have posted this. Nor would the nonsensical concept of non-preservative pickles have merited much attention, but then I read the ingredients list

 

I've never been a fan of rap 'music'. Never understood it. Never wanted to do so. But it's interesting that it is also a type of oil.

 

5a9e29605352d_rapoil.thumb.jpg.dd876bd99256a521a1fd75bae0dc232b.jpg

 

But, most of all, the juvenile in me still appreciates the final piece of advice they offer.

leak.thumb.jpg.93c0e820783decf42baf7e5267128b89.jpg

 

From henceforth I shall make every attempt not to leak gas.

 

Edited by liuzhou (log)
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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted (edited)
17 hours ago, IowaDee said:

We once had a cow with a swelled bag.  She must have gotten into the pickled vegetable garden plot.   Never thought to ask if she were a student!

 

 

You reminded me of the scene in Hardy's "Far From the Madding Crowd" where Bethsheba's sheep are dying from ruminal tympany (swollen bags)  and Gabriel saves them by leaking their gas. Don't remember any pickles or students in the book, though.

 

And definitely no rap, oily or otherwise.

Edited by liuzhou (log)
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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

There's a hilariously graphic moment in one of James Herriott's books where he's administering the same form of relief to a distressed cow. Unfortunately, he'd neglected to consider the relative positions of his face and the incision before inserting the knife. 

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, chromedome said:

There's a hilariously graphic moment in one of James Herriott's books where he's administering the same form of relief to a distressed cow. Unfortunately, he'd neglected to consider the relative positions of his face and the incision before inserting the knife. 

 Thanks for the memories. I must have read those books 4 or 5 times each.

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lindag

lindag

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, Tropicalsenior said:

 Thanks for the memories. I must have read those books 4 or 5 times each.

Me too.  Definitely my all-time favorite books.

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