Stuff You Do In the Kitchen When No One's Looking

[weinoo]

A: Get your minds out of the gutter.

 

B: In another thread about home-made ice cream, the problem of getting the ice cream that's sorta stuck to the dasher and the frozen walls of the canister, off of the dasher and out of the canister, came up.

 

I mentioned that that's the part of the ice cream that the cook gets, when no one is looking; I mentioned it because I know I do it every single time I make ice cream. I'm basically licking the dasher...when no on is looking, of course.  Now, it would really be disgusting if I didn't wash the dasher before making the next batch, but you all know that I do.

 

There are a few other things I do in my kitchen when no one's looking, but I'm gonna save 'em.

 

But I'm wondering - what is it you do in the kitchen when no one's looking?

[Darienne]

Eat part of the cookie dough.  It's why I don't often make cookies.  It's so yummy uncooked.  Especially shortbread dough.

[Smithy]

Raw chocolate chip cookie dough is my downfall.    Like Darienne, I don't make cookies often any more. 

 

Invoke the "5-second rule" for things dropped on the floor - if the dog doesn't get there first.  I feel best about it when the object in question is to be cooked anyway, but I've been known to pick up (just-dropped) nuts from the floor and add them to the salad.

[JeanneCake]

I will sneak funsize candy bars from Halloween into the freezer to surreptitiously eat them when no one is looking.....

[Beebs]

Taste from the same spoon I'm stirring with.

[Smithy]

Dance. Gotta do something while the timer's counting down or the pot's coming to the boil.

[haresfur]

Off the stove and back into the pan.  It was easier with an induction cooktop, though.

[gfweb]

Bourbon

[JoNorvelleWalker]

Cook stark naked.

 

But, no, I do not lick the freezer bowl nor dasher.  Licking the freezer bowl is dangerous and disgusting.  Licking the dasher gets ice cream in one's hair.

[Mjx]

I disinfect things (long, not-interesting back-story), and do these weird-looking exercises for the glutes and lateral thighs, and I've caught sight of myself doing these, reflected in the window when it's dark out, and it looks pretty deranged. If there is no chance of anyone except my boyfriend wandering in, I sometimes cook wearing little if any clothes, since I have a remarkable capacity for becoming covered in food, and this makes cleanup much easier. I have a horribly vivid imagination, so I only do that when the only risk is of getting messy. I sometimes lick things clean, but end up washing them anyway, because what if somebody saw, and they're appalled and nauseated (hello, imagination)? I sometimes use the boning knife to slice bread, because the bread knife is dirty, and I'm too lazy to scrape the muck off it, and give it a wash.

 

Erm... also: pastis.

[weinoo]

Cook stark naked.

What time is dinner tonight?

But seriously, with all the splatters and stuff?!

[rotuts]

this is probably very very common :

 

drink directly out of containers in the refrigerator.

[weinoo]

How about reaching into a jar of, say, olives to grab a few?

 

I'll never forget how the chef in a restaurant I was working in screamed at someone when they stuck their hand into a barrel of olives to grab some. Basically contaminating the whole lot of 'em.

[rotuts]

sure, why not ?

[Blether]

I don't remember the season, or the temperatiure, or the explanatory cirvumstances. I deep fry stuff in an open pot of oil on the gas hob. One day I found myself standing in front of said pot with a mesh ladle, waiting for something to fry up, and musing idly, "Deep frying. Naked.... in an earthquake zone".

 

I decided not to do that again.

[Toliver]

I usually have a short helper (a young niece or nephew) when I make ice cream and they get to clean off the dasher as a reward for helping me with the salt and the ice in our ancient electric ice cream maker (an avocado green bucket should tell you the era it's from).

 

When I am in the kitchen by myself, I tend to over-taste everything which means I'm not very hungry when it comes time to serve it.

I'm...er, correcting the seasonings...yeah, that's the ticket.   

[JoNorvelleWalker]

What time is dinner tonight?

But seriously, with all the splatters and stuff?!

 

I confess to the occasional oven mitt.

[lindag]

I confess to not always completely washing pots and pans that are lightly used before putting them away.

[Shel_B]

this is probably very very common :

 

drink directly out of containers in the refrigerator.

 

That's akin to peeing in the shower ... yes, most everyone does it at some time.

Edited May 23, 2014 by Shel_B (log)

[Anna N]

I cook alone most of the time and for just me. Yet I find myself adhering pretty closely to the rules of good hygiene. But it's not necessarily a sign of sainthood. The odd time I have tried to drink milk from a carton I have ended up drenched in milk.

[BeeZee]

setting the tastiest bit aside for cook's treat, and eating it, before piranha husband materializes

hand feeding bits from the cutting board (cooked protein) to the cat (who is picky enough to not want to eat if it falls on the floor)

[Mjx]

I cook alone most of the time and for just me. Yet I find myself adhering pretty closely to the rules of good hygiene. But it's not necessarily a sign of sainthood. The odd time I have tried to drink milk from a carton I have ended up drenched in milk.

 

I tried that once when I was a kid, but with orange juice, and managed only to pour most of the quart down the front of my nine-year-old self. Mess took ages to clean, and it was difficult to remain nonchalant when my parents wondered about the floor being sticky.

[dcarch]

That's akin to peeing in the shower ... yes, most everyone does it at some time.

 

Not really. I will never do that when I am not taking a shower.

 

dcarch 

[cyalexa]

Quite a few laughs in this thread. I have a kitchen hygiene fetish but I do sometimes lick things clean if they are about to be washed. This morning I was doing some gardening after feeding the horses and had on filthy dirty clothes that I left on the back porch to attend to my bread dough in my underwear. I am pleased to know that these sort of things are not particularly unusual. 

[Smithy]

Unusual, no: not in this company, anyway. You may not want to tell your neighbors and/or dinner guests.