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I will never again . . . (Part 4)

Darienne

By Darienne
in Food Traditions & Culture

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JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

I shall never again bring home two more cookbooks from work and perch them precariously on the living room table, augmenting the stack of eleven other heavy library cookbooks which I may or may not be reading.  About ninety minutes later as I stepped out of the shower the whole shebang fell over, taking out half a liter of Chinese black vinegar.  Amazingly the bottle didn't break.

 

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Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

haresfur

haresfur

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

I shall never again momentarily remove a container of perfectly square, perfectly clear ice from the freezer only to find the container on the counter in the morning.  Actually it was on top of the Ninja CREAMi.  But in my kitchen that counts as counter space.  And it was the afternoon.  On a hot day.

 

 

The water was still perfectly clear, right?

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It's almost never bad to feed someone.

  • 2 weeks later...
JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

I shall never again drop peach pie on the kitchen floor twice.

 

  • Sad 8

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

I shall never again shake my bottle of kefir culture without "burping" the lid first. It was bulging. It stopped bulging when I shook it.

 

(No photos, sorry. Imagine leopard-spotted kitchen cabinets, counters and accessories if the leopard's spots had been white.)

 

The kitchen is now cleaner than it had been for some weeks. Still...this is not my preferred method of triggering housework.

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Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Smithy said:

(No photos, sorry. Imagine leopard-spotted kitchen cabinets, counters and accessories if the leopard's spots had been white.)

So sorry, I can only imagine. It sounds like my kitchen after my pressure cooker blew up. It's been 6 years that I still find an occasional leopard spot.

Edit note:

I just checked my profile page and it was in October 2017 that it happened. One month after, I bought an instant pot and joined EG to find out how to use it.

Edited by Tropicalsenior (log)
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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted
43 minutes ago, Tropicalsenior said:

So sorry, I can only imagine. It sounds like my kitchen after my pressure cooker blew up. It's been 6 years that I still find an occasional leopard spot.

Edit note:

I just checked my profile page and it was in October 2017 that it happened. One month before I bought an instant pot and joined EG to find out how to use it.

 

I'd laugh but your situation sounds too catastrophic. Thanks for sharing the story.

 

Except...with enough time, sometimes it becomes funny.

 

One laughable story in the "I will never again" category is from when my parents bought their first microwave oven. Mom and I were both gone. Dad served as host to a couple of friends who used our house as a base camp for a backpacking trip. Dad found 2 eggs, and cooked them in the new microwave. "BOOM!" went one, to their mystification until they figured it out. Dad was all embarrassment and apology, but gamely served the accidentally-scrambled egg to one friend and the intact egg to the other friend. As soon as that friend dug into his egg, "BOOM!" it went -- all over the kitchen.

 

I got home that evening and Dad was still laughing about it. As he told the story, he pointed over his shoulder...and found yet more egg yolk on the refrigerator behind him. The following week, when I was back at school with my buddies, they were still collapsing with hilarity over the story. I think it might have been the highlight of their backpacking weekend!

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Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

ElsieD

ElsieD

Posted
Posted

Yesterday the inside of my microwave got a yellow paint job when my butter "exploded" as it was melting.  Sad thing is, I know better.

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JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

I shall never again allow my pressure cooker of Rancho Gordo pinto beans to boil dry.

 

In the last couple days I've had additional never again moments.  I use nitrile gloves in the kitchen, but previously I've kept them in the living room.  Doesn't everyone?  One of the products I was reviewing for Amazon was a lovely clear acrylic glove box holder.  Another product was double sided adhesive sheets.  I used the adhesive sheets to affix the glove box holder to my refrigerator door.  The refrigerator in the kitchen.  The wretched adhesive did not hold and the glove box holder crashed to the kitchen floor and smashed.

 

Meanwhile everything in my other refrigerator was sticky.  I'd wash the stuff and put it in clean bags.  Only to become sticky again.  Eventually it dawned on me that my iSi of homemade apple soda had been leaking.  Worse the soda was flat.  It was a pain but I scrubbed out the refrigerator.  But the experience convinced me that I should use a silicone mat under the refrigerator to protect the hardwood floor.

 

To get to the extension cord outlet for the refrigerator I had to move boxes and pull my bureau out from the bedroom wall.  The stress was too much for the corroded antique hanging hardware supporting the large mirror above the bureau.  The mirror crashed to the bedroom floor.  Remarkably, and thankfully, the mirror did not crack.

 

Now I need to put a silicone mat under the blast freezer in the living room.

 

  • Sad 10

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

TdeV

TdeV

Posted
Posted

Jo, truly, I love you. Thank you for your adventures. They're so impossible that they're almost funny. I'm sorry for your troubles, and I will continue to read every darn thing you write.

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  • 3 weeks later...
JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

I shall never again...not sure never again what.  How about I shall never again get out of bed.  Last night during a storm I heard a crash that did not sound like thunder.  I wandered around looking for broken glassware, but everything seemed fine.  Eventually I went in the kitchen to fix dinner (hotdog, five nights in a row).  The magnetic knife block with all its knives had fallen.

 

The fall snapped the lid off the new citrus juicer.  Maybe a good thing since my homogenizer was spared.

 

  • Sad 6

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

  • 4 weeks later...
JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

I shall never again slice a blue vinyl glove into the red onions with my new stainless steel mandoline.

 

  • Sad 4

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

DesertTinker

DesertTinker

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

I shall never again slice a blue vinyl glove into the red onions with my new stainless steel mandoline.

 

It’s all good as long as there were no finger slices! The blue vinyl gloves were your gentle warning. You need cut proof gloves for the mandoline!

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JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, DesertTinker said:

It’s all good as long as there were no finger slices! The blue vinyl gloves were your gentle warning. You need cut proof gloves for the mandoline!

 

The blue vinyl were over top of the cut resistant glove.  Looked like baby calamari.

 

  • Haha 3

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

I shall never again neglect to secure the attachment port of my Kitchen Commercial Mixer when grinding expensive cuts of beef, in this case spinalis dorsi.

 

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

gfweb

gfweb

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

 grinding expensive cuts of beef

 

 

Why?

JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, gfweb said:

 

Why?

 

Valid question.

 

Whole Foods had boneless rib on sale.  One steak makes four meals.  Almost any steak is difficult for me to chew.  For a burger chuck would have been my choice.  However these days I find chuck difficult to chew even when ground.  My spinalis dorsi smash burger was quite tasty and very good.

 

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Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

  • 1 month later...
JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

I shall never again start making lobster newberg only to realize the lobster meat was still in the freezer frozen solid.

 

And while I am at it, I shall never again make pastry cream in the Blendtec without putting the jar lid in place.

 

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Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

ElsieD

ElsieD

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

I shall never again start making lobster newberg only to realize the lobster meat was still in the freezer frozen solid.

 

And while I am at it, I shall never again make pastry cream in the Blendtec without putting the jar lid in place.

 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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AlaMoi

AlaMoi

Posted
Posted
On 7/30/2024 at 9:26 PM, JoNorvelleWalker said:

I shall never again neglect to secure the attachment port of my Kitchen Commercial Mixer when grinding expensive cuts of beef, in this case spinalis dorsi.

 

solution:

image.png.72f1528df7e2378e5179ef2b4d0d11ca.png

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, AlaMoi said:

solution:

image.png.72f1528df7e2378e5179ef2b4d0d11ca.png

When grinding large carcasses, replace the hand crank with your impact wrench. The neighbors will be jealous. :P

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

ElsieD

ElsieD

Posted
Posted

I will never again put my Anova Sous Vide cooker in the water bath upside down and expect to be able to use it for that night's dinner.

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, ElsieD said:

I will never again put my Anova Sous Vide cooker in the water bath upside down and expect to be able to use it for that night's dinner.

 

Is it salvageable?

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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