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Food Funnies

Keith_W

By Keith_W
in Food Media & Arts

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Craigslist sometimes is a source of unintentional humor. For example, just today, someone posted this in the Appliances By Owner section:

***Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker/Waffle Maker/Can Opener***

For just a second or two, my thought was, "Weird. But cool. What does it look like?" Then, of course...

-------------------

Also today, this was posted in the same section by someone apparently unclear on the concept of appliances (or pets, or both):

Fantastic Little Chihuahua Puppies

  • Like 3

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

The Onion reports on Chicago

 

Quote

Catching unsuspecting sources completely off guard with their remarks, the populace of the city of Chicago, entirely unprompted, announced Monday, “We get the food and then we eat the food until all the food is gone.”

 

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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  • 2 weeks later...
Thanks for the Crepes

Thanks for the Crepes

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Porthos said:

Seen on Facebook:My cooking is so good even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

 

 

Yeah, my smoke alarm is apparently a vegetarian. Every time, and I mean every time! I broil meat in the oven inside it kicks up a terrible fuss. I've even set off the one on the second floor on a couple of occasions. I can't look at it as cheering me on.

 

We have a love/hate relationship though. Considering the one function this device is supposed to do, loudly protesting cooking meat is not such a terrible thing. :)

  • Like 1

> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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Toliver

Toliver

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, Thanks for the Crepes said:

 

Yeah, my smoke alarm is apparently a vegetarian. Every time, and I mean every time! I broil meat in the oven inside it kicks up a terrible fuss. I've even set off the one on the second floor on a couple of occasions. I can't look at it as cheering me on.

 

We have a love/hate relationship though. Considering the one function this device is supposed to do, loudly protesting cooking meat is not such a terrible thing. :)

Every time my mom made toast, the smoke detector would sound off. So she'd stand under the detector waving a towel at it to try and get it to stop. She has since stopped making toast. ;)

  • Like 2

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Toliver

Toliver

Posted
Posted

Sorry for the double post but I just saw this from Twitter (click):

A father sent a message to his daughter -

"Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.
Can't believe the currant exchange rate."

 

xD

  • Like 8
  • Haha 1

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

Today's "Luann" comic strip made me giggle:

http://www.gocomics.com/luann/

  • Like 3

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted (edited)

Mexican cuisine is one of the many I know zero about. I honestly wouldn't know a taco from a sombrero. A mole, in my book, is a horrible animal that burrows underground and destroys lawns.

But I may having to rethink my ambivalence and investigate deeper having found this wonderful recipe today, which I can't wait to try. From the 1941 "Fruitvale Favorite Recipes" booklet.

 

Mexican Salad.jpg

 

Perhaps they meant "fruitcake"?

 

found via @ijusteatit on Twitter

 

 

Edited by liuzhou
typos (log)
  • Like 6

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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Thanks for the Crepes

Thanks for the Crepes

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

Mexican cuisine is one of the many I know zero about. I honestly wouldn't know a taco from a sombrero. A mole, in my book, is a horrible animal that burrows underground and destroys lawns.

But I may having to rethink my ambivalence and investigate deeper having found this wonderful recipe today, which I can't wait to try. From the 1941 "Fruitvale Favorite Recipes" booklet.

 

Gah! After reading only this part of your post, I forgot I was on the Food Funnies thread, and took you seriously. I was so excited that you would be venturing into the Mexican arena. Well, I read a tiny bit further, and realized where I was. xD

  • Like 1

> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Heart and Brain, on vacation

  • Like 1

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Porthos said:

Did you hear about the happy eater who consumed his hot dog with great relish?

 

"Mr. Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls."

 

James Joyce, Ulysses - 1914-1921

  • Like 4

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

This is an actual exchange in the Comments section of an article in our local online rag. I've removed the screen names. The article was about a guy who flipped himself over the handlebars trying to do a wheelie on his motorcycle.

----------------------

A wheely is not always a dangerous motorcycle move. If it goes wrong as it rarely does you need to ask why it did. I would use this as a good time to tell people how to do one the right way.

I and my two boys do wheelys and could be talked to about this. If you want to.

 

is a wheelie anything like a henway?

 

What's a henway?

 

around 4 pounds

 

That's dumb.

 

The joke, or missing it?

 

is it an Amish hen?  Because they usually weigh more.

  • Like 5

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted (edited)

Jesus: Do you have a table for 26?

Waiter: But there's only 13 of you.

Jesus: Yes, but we're all going to sit on one side.

supper.jpg

Edited by liuzhou (log)
  • Like 10
  • Haha 1

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted (edited)

My restaurant was in a remote fishing village, which -- paradoxically -- was also home to a nuclear generating station. 

 

For a catering order one day, I made leek and potato soup. One of the clients peered into the tureen suspiciously and asked "Does this have much onion in it? Because I don't like onions." 

 

"Well," I said, "It's leek and potato soup. So there are leeks in it, but no regular onions."

"That's fine then," he replied. "I don't mind a few leeks."

 

"You know," I told him, "That's not what I want to hear from the guy who's refurbishing a nuclear reactor." 

Edited by chromedome
Edited to correct a typo. (log)
  • Like 18

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Kerry Beal

Kerry Beal

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, chromedome said:

My restaurant was in a remote fishing village, which -- paradoxically -- was also home to a nuclear generating station. 

 

For a catering order one day, I made leek and potato soup. One of the clients peered into the tureen suspiciously and asked "Does this have much onion in it? Because I don't like onions." 

 

"Well," I said, "It's leek and potato soup. So there are leeks in it, but no regular onions."

"That's fine then," he replied. "I don't mind a few leeks."

 

"You know," I told him, "That's not what I want to hear from the guy who's refurbishing a nuclear reactor." 

 

Lol! If that's Point Lepreau I understand there were fair number of building issues with the potential for 'leeks'- the ex FIL worked security during the build.

  • Like 1

the Chocolate Doctor
www.thechocolatedoctor.ca

www.eztemper.com

 

Confectionary Course • Confectionary Course Q&A
eGullet foodblog 2006 • eGullet Foodblog 2012

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

I may have met him, then. I catered a lot of functions there at the time. 

 

Their problems with the refurbishment caused me some personal grief. I'd opened a second restaurant down near the plant, planning to feed the construction crews until the project was over and then close up shop. When the refurbishment went on hold for 18 months as they sorted out the issues, it meant the main labour contractor went from just under 1700 people on site to (ahem) seven. You don't stay open very long, feeding lunch twice a week to seven people. 

  • Like 5

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted (edited)

Pearls Before Swine: "I love the practice."

Edited by Alex
to fix a typo (log)
  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted

Banana stuffer or first urology kit?

Some  might think it belongs with the kitchen gadget topic but I think it's more appropriate here.

  • Like 4

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Anna N said:

Banana stuffer or first urology kit?

Some  might think it belongs with the kitchen gadget topic but I think it's more appropriate here.

 

Yes. And there is a precedent. One of Rhik's other articles is up-topic - the whole series is funny. The original banana stuffer article is here,

Edited by liuzhou (log)

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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