Food neuroses that drive you nuts

[nibor]

So what's it all about? Any amateur or professional psychoanalysts have any theories?

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Amateur here. I too have a friend like this. The bone presents too stark a realization of the source. She would rather not think about it.

[Anna N]

I am no expert but I suspect it has more to do with control than anything else. Most of us have a feeling that we don't have much control over very much so if we can reject brown eggs it give us a feeling that in one tiny sphere we actually can control the universe.

[heidih]

So what's it all about? Any amateur or professional psychoanalysts have any theories?

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Amateur here. I too have a friend like this. The bone presents too stark a realization of the source. She would rather not think about it.

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Agreed. My ex just about passed out the first time he saw chicken feet in the stock pot. He loves hot wings, but the feet were somehow too real to him.

The food touching thing seems really childhood primal and is so common from what I read (although my sample pool must be tiny because I do not personally know anyone).

One only has to look at eating disorders to realize how food is central to our lives in terms of emotional expression. I concur with what Anna N says about control, but that is not a conscious act for the most part. The anecdotes recounted here give me the impression that early memories and associations really run deep and if you are not "food driven" it is no big deal to have them in your life. I am thinking particularly about the rice = maggots. My ex, had he had that association, was of the mental framework that he would just never eat rice again. The taste of the rice would not be an issue. As to the egg color, I have actually seen that before manifested as a cleanliness issue. No basis in fact, but the mind will believe what it want or needs to. Great topic Fat Guy.

[dockhl]

So what's it all about? Any amateur or professional psychoanalysts have any theories?

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Amateur here. I too have a friend like this. The bone presents too stark a realization of the source. She would rather not think about it.

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My brother-in-law has a rule for animal products:

"It cannot look like what it is." Period.

[KatieLoeb]

My sister will dissect meat to remove every visible speck of fat.  She looks like a surgeon in the OR.

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Dang, the fat is usually the best part!

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One of my dearest friends is an incredibly picky eater. Over the course of our friendship I have widened her horizons tremendously. She now eats Brussel sprouts, cauliflower, yogurt and lots of other things that were previously verboten. Her attitude now is loose enough on occasion to say "Just don't tell me what it is until I've tasted it", which is enormous progress. I took her as my guest earlier this week to a city wide food event I was asked to help judge. Many of the finest restaurants in the city were represented and were serving what they believed to be samples of their best dishes. My friend tried and loved pork belly for the first time. Thought it was fabulous. Another restaurant was also serving pork belly and she had to dissect it to within an inch of it's life and proclaimed it "too fatty" for human consumption. She'd just eaten a similar preparation elsewhere and didn't think twice about it. But this one had to be hacked to bits first and the best parts pushed to the side of the plate. She still won't eat duck in any shape or form, even after Chef Alfred Portale made it his personal mission to get her to like it when she worked with him at Striped Bass. He gave her a taste of half a dozen different duck preparations over time, and not one of them passed muster. Shellfish are the same way. They're "bottom feeders" and "disgusting low forms of life." Yet King Crab legs are fine when dunked in drawn butter.

<sigh> I shall never understand her or her strange random irrational aversions.

When I was in high school I took the bus to school every day with my best friend that lived down the block and two houses from the bus stop. I'd stop at her house and have breakfast with her occasionally too. She would randomly find cornflakes that somehow didn't please her and remove them from the bowl with great flourish and continue eating. "What was wrong with that one?", I'd ask curiously. "I don't know", she'd say, "I just don't like the looks of it." WTF is that about??? Has to be those control issues some of you mentioned, because there was no rhyme nor reason to the rejected flakes on the side of the bowl. I found this habit of hers maddening, for reasons I can't quite explain. Does that make me crazy too?

Edited February 23, 2008 by KatieLoeb (log)

[Chris Hennes]

A lot of these things don't really seem to be neuroses, but more "normal" personal preferences. For example, disliking something because of its texture doesn't strike me as neurotic, or disliking certain flavor combinations, or flavors in general. I think of a "food neurosis" as irrationally refusing to eat something, the key being the irrational part. My mom's husband's insistence on only eating yellow/orange cheese, for example, even though the only difference is the addition of (tasteless, odorless) food coloring. Or Fat Guy's mom's refusal to eat brown eggs. There is no rational reason for these behaviors. That, to me, is neurotic.

[Shelby]

A lot of these things don't really seem to be neuroses, but more "normal" personal preferences. For example, disliking something because of its texture doesn't strike me as neurotic, or disliking certain flavor combinations, or flavors in general. I think of a "food neurosis" as irrationally refusing to eat something, the key being the irrational part. My mom's husband's insistence on only eating yellow/orange cheese, for example, even though the only difference is the addition of (tasteless, odorless) food coloring. Or Fat Guy's mom's refusal to eat brown eggs. There is no rational reason for these behaviors. That, to me, is neurotic.

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AH HA! I KNEW there was someone else here that had a white cheese hater in their life

[scubadoo97]

My sister will dissect meat to remove every visible speck of fat.  She looks like a surgeon in the OR.

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My brother does this too. He also likes to mush all his food together and only eats ice cream after he stirs it to a near soup like consistency. We are talking about an adult here. Drives me nuts

[Katie Meadow]

Perhaps there is a kind of continuum ranging from personal preferences to obsessive-compulsive disorder or eating disorders. Once a person's preferences become so noticeable or so numerous as to interfere with their own pleasure or the pleasure of others at the table it's hard to just call it pickyness. If you can't stand the cranberries touching the potatoes (and I agree it isn't an appetizing combo) and your solution is just to put turkey in between, you're happy, no one's the wiser and everyone has a nice dinner. But if someone serves you dinner already plated who doesn't know that about you and you get upset and ask for another plate, that's crossed beyond picky eating preferences.

I think some people need to draw attention to themselves with food issues. Look how much attention kids get when the are fussy eaters. I know people that have just never grown out of their childhood eating patterns.

If Fat Guy's mom prefers white eggs and has a store across from her building that sells them, she isn't totally irrational in rejecting his offer. But if she has a hard time walking, the streets are icy, it's zero degrees out and the closest store is eight blocks away then it's certainly irrational and perhaps neurotic or even phobic. If she can do without eggs til the next shopping excursion then it's a relatively harmless phobia. Naturally she knows exactly how to push her son's buttons!

I have one pet peave and only because I have two good friends with the same annoying fetish. Both of them refuse to eat carbos and steadfastly deny being on any kind of diet. Neither has any allergies, they just "don't like" bread, pasta, rice, grits etc. And no, they don't know eachother. I forgive them because I love them, but I swear, sometimes I feel like I would pay to see either of them eat a sandwich or a plate of linguini and clams.

[ghostrider]

I have a friend who will not eat white food. Period. I've never heard the complete story as to why he won't eat them.

The poor man will never know the pleasure of eating whipped cream or mayo (or Miracle Whip ).

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I have a friend who won't eat blue food. And she's one helluva cook, trust me on this. But nothing blue.

I've tried to convince her of the excellence of blueberry pie made with fresh Maine blueberries, to no avail. She says it can't possibly be worth violating her lifelong rule for.

[jumanggy]

I think the clarifications regarding neuroses are spot-on.

We have a family friend who established that 4 sachets of CoffeeMate is the perfect number for a cup of brewed coffee of any size (at 5g each, that is 20g). I asked him, "how did you determine that?" He doesn't really know. I mocked him and asked him if after the first sachet was insufficient, he just knew four was the way to go. No defense. I asked him if he had tried three or two sachets. He didn't. But he won't, now, even with my tormenting him. He thinks that 20g of modified flavored food starch brings about perfect creaminess. He always has two strings of those damn sachets in his pocket, each 4 sachets long, just in case he has an extra cup. It creates a lot of waste and just looks weird to me (apologies in advance to anyone else who does this). I tell him it'll be a matter of time before he gets all Melvin Eudall on us.

[K8memphis]

Maybe if you said they were chocolate eggs?

[lia]

My mother belongs to the white/yellow/orange cheese weirdness. I always have a block of Cabot Extra Sharp Cheddar in the fridge. And I honestly don't pay attention to what color I buy. Some stores have white, some have orange, I don't care. If I have the white, she doesn't eat it. Fine, BUT she purchases deli american cheese regularly and ONLY gets white. explain that one.

I had a roommate who claimed she'd never tasted tuna (as in canned,) olives, or mushrooms. Nor would she. I made a puttanesca once which turned out quite tasty; she was interested since it smelled "like pizza," but wouldn't touch it once she learned it had olives and anchovies in it.

This same roommate was on Atkins when it had its big rebirth a bit over a decade ago. I was eating a lot of D'artagnan or Trois Petite Cochon pates back then, and worrying about how fattening and unhealthful they were. She claimed they were fine, "Read the book!" no thanks.

ETA: thought of a couple more:

a friend's hubby has a variation on the no-mixing food thing. He eats each item on his plate completely before moving on to the next. And he knows it's a neurosis, doesn't care, and doesn't try to explain it.

A guy i used to date refused to allow me to eat liver or goat with him ("goats eat shit."). I felt like Laurie Colwin who couldn't eat squid in its ink with her husband. (off topic - I live a few blocks away from where LC lived. The restaurant where she got the squid is also gone, 'hood just isn't the same anymore.)

Edited February 24, 2008 by lia (log)

[nibor]

After a couple of glasses of wine at dinner....

Ok, so some people eat around their plate in a clockwise manner. But is this only in the northern hemisphere? Do they go the other way round in the south?

Edited February 24, 2008 by nibor (log)

[miladyinsanity]

Hummingbirdkiss, is your son single? I need to marry a guy like that so that I can pass on the right genes to the next generation.

It drives me absolutely insane to have my foods touching. Normally, when I eat at home, mom serves family-style, and my dad will be trying to add stuff to my plate and I'll be screaming my head off because I hate it hate it hate it.

My name is May, and no, I do not need help.

[jgm]

I once dated a guy who would not eat food that was warmer than room temperature. Anything I cooked, he'd leave it on the plate, and sit and converse with me while I ate, and then when his food had cooled down, he'd eat it. After our first meal like that, I knew the relationship didn't have a future.

My husband has had a long list of foods he won't eat: avocados, sour cream, any kind of fruit with meat, and several others I can't think of right now. A couple of weeks ago we dined at Sabor here in Wichita, and had some of their black bean soup. Anything you order at Sabor is heavenly, and that includes, of course, the black bean soup... which came with a dollop of sour cream on it. Dear Hubby ate all around the sour cream until The Horrible Dillema: to eat the last of the soup would have to include eating the sour cream. To not eat the last of the soup was unthinkable. "I couldn't believe it! That sour cream just, like, woke up the flavor!"

Duh.

Next month is our ten-year anniversary. OK, it's taken me 10 years to get him to eat sour cream. Anybody wanna take odds on avocados and meat with fruit?

[andiesenji]

I converted an avocado hater by carefully removing the green part and dicing the cream-colored part and adding it to a chunky chicken salad.

"This is just delicious, especially this creamy tofu stuff."

"That's avocado."

"But, I don't like avocado!"

"You ate it and said it was delicious."

Long pause.

"Okay, you win!"

Heh, Heh, Heh!

By the way, I solved the maple syrup/butter in the waffle "windows" a long time ago.

I heat the maple syrup WITH the butter in a lovely little Hall China pitcher, stir just before pouring and get a perfect proportion of syrup to butter in each and every dimple.

Actually I simply employed the technique similar to one I learned as a very small child when my grandpa would stir soft butter into sorghum molasses before anointing a hot biscuit with this lovely sweet/salty combination.

Edited February 25, 2008 by andiesenji (log)

[snowangel]

I have a friend who won't eat scrambled egss, no matter how good, without hot sauce. I mean, he'll freak! That is certainly a preference, but he's so hysterical about it that it  might push him over to neurotic status.

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Oh, this is interesting. I have two kids who will not eat scrambled eggs; they have to have theirs so over-easy that the whites are runny (I do not choose to even look at the eggs they want because the slightest hint of a runny white has me running). Oh, and BTW, neither of these kids will have any sort of melted cheese on anything other than pizza. But, the love larb and curry and squid salad and sushi and raw fish and all sorts of odd things, so I do forgive them this dislike of mixed up eggs and melted cheese.

[Kouign Aman]

That not being able to watch thing?

The 3.5 year old munchkin experiments a lot with food.

Last night it was dipping fried chicken into strawberry yogurt. Her father couldnt look - it made him gag. I asked him how it was so different from the afghan lamb and cherries dish he loves so much, but that didnt seem to bring him comfort.

Its funny to watch her propose something, him start to respond, and me cut him off with 'try it honey, you might like it'. He also twitches when she dips meat in mango juice, tho he loves sweet'n sour sauces. His revenge comes when she wants to taste the raw eggs. Maketh me unto shudder, that does.

[Rebecca263]

I honestly don't find other peoples' preferences annoying! Well, there was a man, almost 30 years ago- he put ketchup on EVERY bit of food that he was served. But, I simply kicked him to the curb-et finis! It's our own quirks that we must live with!

[DCP]

A friend won't eat any dishes containing mushrooms because "they're grown in shit". And other crops aren't, effectively?

One Thanksgiving after bringing home a couple of wrapped chickens from the butcher, my mother shrieked from the kitchen - the feet had been left on. She wouldn't continue with prep until her husband removed and discarded them.

A cousin by marriage (lest anyone think I have these strange genes ) won't eat sour cream or mayonnaise, yet happily devours my mother's Jell-O mold (with a layer of sour cream in the middle) every holiday he can. He assumed it was whipped cream, despite the texture and flavor difference. I threatened for years to tell him, but was guilted into not doing so - when he was told he ate mayo by mistake some years prior, he got violently physically ill. He finally asked for the recipe last Christmas, and was told honestly what was in it after some hemming and hawing. "Dang. Really?" he said. Go figure.

My SO's mother cooks pork until it is shoe leather. The reason? "Trichinosis." It took a long time to convince my SO to eat pork - and it was a revelation when she did. Same mother won't eat crunchy things in salad, a neurosis which was also inherited and has taken some time to remove.

[kellycolorado]

My sister will dissect meat to remove every visible speck of fat.  She looks like a surgeon in the OR.

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My husband too... and he hacks at it in a V like cutting motion instead of just cutting off pieces and further trimming them. Drives me nuts.

[hummingbirdkiss]

ok someone bugged me badly and since it was so long ago I almost forgot!

I was married for about an hour right out of school to this guy would only eat food that had no seasonings other than morton salt and preground pepper...over cooked dried out meat and mushy vegetables..mashed or baked potatoes were the only option for starch (God forbid I cook a pot of rice!) ..margarine no butter...and no going out to eat because he was paranoid of what people did to food... the foods had a specific day too ..chicken breast on Mondays baked, steak on Tuesdays ..it had to be eye of round and cooked until it was tough...Wed pork chops no seasoning broiled until leather ...you get the point ..making dinner was hell for me!!! I never got it right ..but of course his mom did ...(she was a horrific cook)

I was not even allowed to cook my own food because he made such a big deal about how badly "it stinks" if I used garlic or anything else...well "allowed" was not my thing...one day he told me the Thursday hamburger I cooked the snot out of was "too raw" ..so I threw it at his head ..told him to "choke on it" got my keys and left ..for good ...

I am not sure why I married him to begin with ......but I am sure how I could forget him!

my sweet husband of almost 30 years (yikes) is just a dream to cook for ..he adores food and food adventures....

Edited February 28, 2008 by hummingbirdkiss (log)

[JanMcBaker]

ok someone bugged me badly and since it was so long ago I almost forgot!

I was married for about an hour right out of school to this guy would only eat food that had no seasonings other than morton salt and preground pepper...over cooked dried out meat and mushy vegetables..mashed or baked potatoes were the only option for starch (God forbid I cook a pot of rice!) ....

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Damn!!! What a twerp! And you lasted a whole hour??

[shellfishfiend]

My father swears that triangular tortilla chips taste better than round trotilla chips. They can be made by the same company, with the same type of cornmeal and with the same best by date. He will still say the trinagular one tastes better-not that he prefers it-but that it tastes better.

Mind you, the man will eat just about anything put in front of him, so he does not refuse to eat the rounds. Maybe not neurotic, but quirky.