The greatest food quotes ever

[racheld]

From the sig line of fou de Bassan, who may have originated it. Someone had a series of cookery mishaps, and this is the quote:

If only Jack Nicholson could have narrated my dinner, it would have been perfect.

Edited November 30, 2007 by racheld (log)

[tim]

Hi,

We were at a restuarant which had been transformed from a lunch counter to a hip bistro. I was talking to the waiter about the cook who used to sit at the end of the counter sipping coffee.

The waiter said, "Oh, you mean the Chef."

I innocently asked, "What's the difference between a cook and a chef?"

The instant response, "Just the quality of the tatoos!"

Tim

[Peter B Wolf]

From the Movie " My Big Fat Greek Wedding "

Andrea Martin (Aunt Voula): What do you mean, you don't eat no meat? ... That's okay. I'll make lamb.

[John DePaula]

From the Movie " My Big Fat Greek Wedding "

Andrea Martin (Aunt Voula): What do you mean, you don't eat no meat? ... That's okay. I'll make lamb.

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Oh, I LOVE that one! And it was delivered PERFECTLY by Andrea Martin.

[Dianabanana]

"Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but afer all, the Scotchman would shake his head, and say, "Where's your haggis?" and the Fijan would sigh and say, "Where's your missionary?""

From A Tramp Abroad

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Perfect!

[et alors]

My father just sent me this quote from the New Yorker (he failed to mention who the author was, but I bet on Bill Buford.)

"You should always know the first name of the person you buy your meat from."

Now that i think about it, odd the New Yorker would allow a sentence ending in a preposition... it's still a sentiment I heartily endorse.

[Peter B Wolf]

Eating habits and the Industry

“We have been conditioned to want, what they want us to want we want, and want it now."

My Own Quote in eGullet 2003

[jgm]

I regret that I cannot accurately quote one of my favorite lines. Edith Bunker, God rest her soul, was my kind of woman.

After Archie refused to eat the evening's entree, which was tongue - saying "I ain't eatin' nuttin' that came out of no cow's mouth" - Edith replied,

"Alright, Archie. I'll go fix you an egg."

[Bill Miller]

1. The source of the word "vegitarian"--unknown, but from a Native American dialect meaning "bad hunter"

2. Voltaire, after a year in England-"The English are an amazing people, they have 50 religions, but only one sauce."

3. Dorothy Parker--at the Algonquin in1926--"I love a martini, two at the most--three, I'm under the table--four, I'm under the host."

[maggiethecat]

George Bernard Shaw was a teetotal vegetarian (so never going to make my heart or any other part of my anatomy throb) but this is a neat quip:

"I flatly declare that a man fed on whiskey and dead bodies cannot do the best work of which he is capable."

John Gays's my guy. His poem "To a Young Lady, with some Lampreys" extols, poetically and erotically, the delightful sin food can lure you into. Just a few lines:

"Each day has its unguarded hour

Always in danger of undoing,

A prawn, a shrimp may prove our ruin!

The shepherdess, who lives on sallad (sic)

To cool her youth, controls her palate.

Should Dian's maids turn liqu'rish livers

And of huge lampreys rob the rivers

Then all beside each glade and Visto

You'd see Nymphs lying like Calisto."

[jayt90]

Angela Baddely as Mrs. Bridges in 'Upstairs, Downstairs',

"A stew boiled is a stew spoiled!"

[racheld]

Mrs. Blatherwick, serving a gristle/turkey neck/potato peelings broth to the seven recalcitrant children trying in vain to get rid of Nanny McPhee:

"Smell that. That is the smell that forged this empire.

That pong is the pong of conquerors!"

[Shalmanese]

My father just sent me this quote from the New Yorker (he failed to mention who the author was, but I bet on Bill Buford.)

"You should always know the first name of the person you buy your meat from."

Now that i think about it, odd the New Yorker would allow a sentence ending in a preposition... it's still a sentiment I heartily endorse.

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I think it was Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

[paulraphael]

Two more from the Simpsons ...

Moe (on his first date in years, at Springfield's snottiest French restaurant):

"Give me the best thing you got and stuff it with the second best thing you got."

Homer (at a protest against animal testing at a cosmetics company, he sees pigs that have been tarted up with lipstick and mascara):

"So sad. Yet so sexy. Yet so delicious!"

And my favorite food quote of all time, from Alain Ducasse (spotted a while ago in someone's eGullet signature):

"Desserts are like mistresses. They are bad for you. So if you are having one,

you might as well have two."

[insomniac]

2 gems from my daughter's friend's very old Irish granny this Christmas....

Ali, 'No thanks granny, I won't have a sausage, I'm vegetarian.'

Granny, 'Ah, ya will, sure it's not meat, it's pork.'

and

Granny' 'If you ever want to kill a dog feed him chocolate, he'll be dead within the hour.'

[Ariel Schor]

These are my three favourites so far....

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster." - Ferran Adria

"I'm tougher than you, faster than you, better than you. I'm a Chef. I work in inhuman temperatures, and I like it that way. I don't have to sleep every day if there's work to be done now; you get the work done. Only got a couple hours of sleep last night, and you've got eighteen more hours of work ahead of you. Good. You like that. You're a chef. You can sleep later." Michael Ruhlman - The Soul of a Chef

"For Millenia, people have known how to make their food. They have understood animals and what to do with them, have cooked with the seasons and had a farmer's knowledge of the way the planet works. They have preserved traditions of preparing food, handed down through generations, and have come to know them as expressions of their families. People don't have this kind of knowledge today, even though it seems as fundamental as the earth, and, it's true, those who do have it tend to be professionals - like chefs. But I didn't want this knowledge in order to be a professional; just to be more human." - Bill Buford -"Heat"

[Wesley1]

WOW! These damn things are as hot as a stiff cock!

-Julia Child, bare handedly, pulling cannellini out of a pot of boiling

water

[Ted Fairhead]

"i have noticed when chickens stop quarreling over their food they often find that there is enough for all of them. i wonder if it might not be the same with the human race"

archy's life of mehitabel

Donald Robert P. Marquis

[adegiulio]

A Scottish acquaintance once told me a of a first date gaffe. When asking the waiter whether or not the venison was aged, she inquired "The deer, was it well hung?"

Nuff said

[Peter Green]

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Ben Franklin

[Kerry Beal]

A Scottish acquaintance once told me a of a first date gaffe. When asking the waiter whether or not the venison was aged, she inquired "The deer, was it well hung?"

Nuff said

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Hubby always orders his eggs 'over hard'. The waitress at our usual breakfast place walks up with the plates and asks him "are you hard?" She choked a little, turned quite red, then started laughing so much she could barely put the plates down.

[ASM NY]

Not surprised to see a lot of Simpsons quotes here, who can forget the classic:

Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!

Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

[Shalmanese]

Moe (on his first date in years, at Springfield's snottiest French restaurant):

"Give me the best thing you got and stuff it with the second best thing you got."

"Excellent sir. Lobster stuffed with tacos"

[prasantrin]

"It's just food. Eat it."

--David Chang

[Tri2Cook]

"Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."

- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)

"The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?"

- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)

Edited October 4, 2009 by Tri2Cook (log)