RIP member joiei

[Chris Hennes]

I've received word that Larry Gober, a.k.a. @joiei, died in his sleep yesterday afternoon: he was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer in October. I knew Larry away from the forums as a fellow Oklahoman, a passionate barbecue advocate, and the kind of guy who would randomly mail me fresh corn flour because "he knew a guy." We'll miss you, Larry!

[Smithy]

Oh, I'm sorry for this news. He seemed like a nice guy from his posts. @Jaymes recommended that I look him up when we were passing through Oklahoma, precisely because he had a kind heart and was interesting in person. We were always in too much of a hurry while passing through the state for me to try. Now I won't have the chance.

[Kerry Beal]

He will indeed be missed. Got lots a good suggestions where to eat from him. Had hoped to meet up with him one day.

[kayb]

Ahhh, I hate to hear this. He and I had some great barbecue conversations.

[weinoo]

We’ll all meet up with him one day for a big barbecue. 
 

RIP.

[Shelby]

Oh no! I'm so sorry.

[Maison Rustique]

I'm so very sorry to hear this. He was such a vibrant, knowledgeable member here. Many condolences to all his family and friends.

[cyalexa]

I've been pretty absent from the site but logged in today to look something up. I greatly enjoyed Larry's company the day we had an Oklahoma meet-up for a barbecue tour. I was going to smoke pork country (loin) ribs on my gas grill for dinner tonight but we have workers in the yard making that awkward. I logged in to explore a CSO option instead. 

[suzilightning]

Oh, gosh.   I wish his family and friends great healing.  I am so sorry when we were out west I wasn't able to meet up with him and cylexa.  

[Jaymes]

He was as kind and generous a man as ever drew breath. When I moved to Springfield MO to help my father take care of my mother who was dying of Alzheimer's, Larry, who lived just down the road in Tulsa, began suggesting that we meet up at various locations in between. Larry and I drove all over the central midwest. They were such pleasant and welcome breaks from the difficulty of my family situation. 

 

I was planning another road trip north from south Texas when he got his diagnosis. Selfishly, I wish he could have prolonged his life just for a little while so I could have seen him one last time. But he chose to depart his way, eschewing chemo and other extraordinary interventions, and just leave this world the way he came into it, letting nature take its course. The world has lost a dear, dear man. And I've lost a dear, dear friend. I am bereft.

Edited January 8, 2020 by Jaymes (log)

[heidih]

It is sometimes astonishing the impact people make that they are unaware of. Like that stone skimming the water - the unexpected ripples. 

[chromedome]

On 1/8/2020 at 1:11 AM, Jaymes said:

Selfishly, I wish he could have prolonged his life just for a little while so I could have seen him one last time. But he chose to depart his way, eschewing chemo and other extraordinary interventions, and just leave this world the way he came into it, letting nature take its course.

 

That's a shame. I lost my father a couple of years ago to the same cause, and in the same fashion.

 

After the diagnosis he spent no small mental effort tracing his way back to the earliest symptoms, and kicking himself for not having it looked at then. The oncologist told him pretty bluntly not to do that, saying "By the time there's a symptom you might have noticed, it's already too late. The only thing that would have changed is we'd have all felt obligated to take our shot at treating it and slowing the cancer down, and your last couple of years would have been a lot more miserable."

[Margaret Pilgrim]

10 hours ago, chromedome said:

 

I lost my father a couple of years ago to the same cause, and in the same fashion.

 

After the diagnosis he spent no small mental effort tracing his way back to the earliest symptoms, and kicking himself for not having it looked at then. The oncologist told him pretty bluntly not to do that, saying "By the time there's a symptom you might have noticed, it's already too late. The only thing that would have changed is we'd have all felt obligated to take our shot at treating it and slowing the cancer down, and your last couple of years would have been a lot more miserable."

 

Thanks, chromedome.  These are words to read and reread and reread and reread.   

 

And thanks to joiei for making them relevant.    Rest in gentle peace.

[Shelby]

Here is Larry's obituary.  He sounds like a wonderful man.

 

 

[Smithy]

4 hours ago, Shelby said:

Here is Larry's obituary.  He sounds like a wonderful man.

 

 

 

That is a wonderful and touching obituary. I especially love the last paragraph recommending a meal in his honor, with family and/or friends. Thank you, Shelby, for the link.

[Shelby]

Just now, Smithy said:

I especially love the last paragraph recommending a meal in his honor, with family and/or friends.

I did, too.  

[Kerry Beal]

Great obit!

[kayb]

Makes me wish even more I'd met him.

[curls]

@Shelby thank you for finding & linking to Larry’s obituary. My condolences to Larry’s family & friends. I’ll definitely have a meal in his honor.