Teaching Someone How To Cook

[judiu]

My 43 year old sson is pretty much the same way. He'll eat almost anything when he's hungry, likes good food, but has no intrest in making it for himself or others.

[Smithy]

It occurs to me that the cleanup might be an issue too: making sandwiches doesn't involve dirtying up a skillet or pot. If that's the issue, then one-pot meals or microwaved food or grilled food might be a help.

[msfurious1]

Mummy should not be directing you to give her 58 year old son unsolicited lessons on cooking.

From your posts, it doesn't seem like Toot's has much interest in cooking. Why would her son have any interest at this stage in life?

Since you've never met him, cook for the three of you as you stated and just get to know him.

You can feel him out and see if he actually has any interest. If he doesn't, just get to know him and be friends.

You could always direct him to egullet to ask questions. We're open 24/7 and always looking for new members.

Edited September 14, 2013 by msfurious1 (log)

[gdenby]

... I understand he's added canned soup to his diet.

So, how do you teach a guy like this to cook? Any suggestion on some recipes or ideas to give him? I was thinking egg dishes, pasta dishes, soups, vegetable and salads should be easy, but I'm open to ideas.

He's 58 years old and is, literally, clueless. I don't even know if he's got minimally useful cooking equipment ... thanks for any help.

Clueless is pretty common. One of my son-in-laws didn't know how to bring water to boil, and one of my son's college mates couldn't make mac-n-cheese from a box.

I think your base ideas cover a lot of ground, maybe more than can be covered in a few weeks. Find out what utensils he has. When my wife and I were newly weds, our cooking utensils were a large electric skillet, a big pot for boilings stuff, a colander, a spatula, a decent knife and cutting board, and a box grater. Spoons and forks. We added a slow cooker to those pretty soon. If he has those, there are large numbers of good things that are doable.

Before my kids left the house, there were 2 things they had to learn. How to fry and scramble eggs. How to saute' ground beef, mix w. pre-made sauce and dump that over boiled spaghetti noodles. One son loved bacon, and so he became the house bacon fryer. They didn't have to learn other things, but I did show them how to make fried rice, which was the first dish I learned to make for myself after college. Likewise, "elevate" packet ramen w. broth and fresh sliced veggies.

I'd also suggest introducing him to spices and condiments. Even bottled of garlic powder, onion, ginger, paprika, celery salt can add so much. Good soy sauce, Worcestershire, a hot sauce and some lemon juice should be on hand.

Good luck, it could be a lot of fun. Hopefully he really is interested.

[dcarch]

Does he want to learn? Horse, water: that's my concern.

Very true for a man.

I learned to cook because I didn't have the money to buy a fancy Italian sports car, then I realized it is more effective to win a lady's heart to be able to dazzle her with a multi-course candle light dinner that you whipped up from your kitchen.

It's all about sex, for a man.

dcarch

[liuzhou]

Normally, I would start with eggs. Boil, fry. poach, bake, omelette etc.

But with a 58 year old with food issues, that probably wouldn't work. Find out what he wants to eat, From what you say, I can't imagine his wants to be cordon blue cooking, then gently show him how to do it himself rather than out of a box, then how to give it added value.

But as someone who has been teaching for nearly 40 years (not cooking) can tell you, if he doesn't want to learn he won't.

[weinoo]

Does he want to learn? Horse, water: that's my concern.

Very true for a man.

I learned to cook because I didn't have the money to buy a fancy Italian sports car, then I realized it is more effective to win a lady's heart to be able to dazzle her with a multi-course candle light dinner that you whipped up from your kitchen.

It's all about sex, for a man.

dcarch

My second date with my now wife was cooking her a traditional roast chicken dinner. That was about all it took...but hey, she's ez.

[dcarch]

Does he want to learn? Horse, water: that's my concern.

Very true for a man.

I learned to cook because I didn't have the money to buy a fancy Italian sports car, then I realized it is more effective to win a lady's heart to be able to dazzle her with a multi-course candle light dinner that you whipped up from your kitchen.

It's all about sex, for a man.

dcarch

My second date with my now wife was cooking her a traditional roast chicken dinner. That was about all it took...but hey, she's ez.

Recipe please!!!

dcarch

[Arey]

Maybe you could start out by asking him to go grocery shopping with you. Watch what he picks out, what he appears interested in, and what he says likes. Drop casual remarks such as "those pork chops look good don't they". If however, when you get to the market he says he'll wait in the car for you, you'll know you're facing a really big challenge.

[PeterLG]

Find out what he likes to eat when he goes to a restaurant to grab a good (not too fancy) bite. Given the Texas, this could be BBQ, Nachos Supreme, Pulled pork BBQ, a great burger or something. Then tell him that "this stuff is easy to make", show him how to make that so that it tastes like a million bucks and keep him engaged in the process? Emphasize on how this is stuff that real me do :-) Have a couple of beers while the meat is on the BBQ and don't push the cooking aspect too much.<br /><br />

[quiet1]

I kind of agree with most of the other posters that it's hard to make a plan without knowing more about him and his interest in the subject. My dad, for example, can actually cook pretty well when he wants to and has a good recipe to follow, but he doesn't really pay enough attention to food to have the instincts to make something up on the fly or tweak a recipe, and honestly he doesn't really care all that much about what he eats as long as it meets his basic nutritional requirements and doesn't taste too disgusting. So what he makes for himself is pretty simple - he's quite happy making a 'salad' of a big bag of frozen vegetables microwaved, some good quality meat from the deli, and some salad dressing or bottled sauce. Sometimes he adds in some nuts or a dried fruit and nut mix for crunch.

With that attitude, if he didn't already know how to cook (I think he had to learn when he was younger in order to keep himself fed) I'm not sure how interested he'd be in learning.

[GlorifiedRice]

Have him bake bacon, instead of frying it and burning his house down later.

Honestly?

What hes eating currently sounds great for a single guy. At least its not Pizza Hut or Mickey Dees all the time.

Teach him some veggie dishes, maybe a fish recipe and Chicken and vegetables

[Katie Meadow]

If he's inclined toward Tex-Mex food availability of ingredients where he lives could be a big plus. He can buy prepared flour and corn tortillas and probably there are interesting hot sauces around. If he learns to make good rice and a pot of beans he will have a lot of options. Rice actually seems to stump folks who don't already know how to cook it their liking, but once you get it down it is incredibly useful. Same goes for pasta; it's amazing how many ways there are to mess it up. Since there are still good heirloom tomatoes around here in the east bay learning multiple ways to use them would benefit greatly. A raw tomato sauce using just salt and oil or butter and maybe an herb or two goes a long way on rice or pasta. A decent pot of chile can be made using good quality red chile powder instead of jumping through hoops to roast and soak dried pods. Lots of Tex-Mex recipes call for Ro-Tel tomatoes, so he might be gratified to actually be able to find them. Also learning to make a good Italian style red sauce from canned tomatoes is like money in the bank.

And if he seems to be interested in the idea of Tex-Mex, maybe when he gets home you can send him a copy of Homesick Texan. Some of her recipes are very simple, and she's forgiving about using some shortcuts, like canned beans and so forth, as time and ambition allow. I learned to cook when I lived in New Mexico in the late sixties where ingredients were very basic, I wasn't buying a lot of meat and didn't have a lot of kitchen equipment. But like so many above have already pointed out, motivation is key. But new found confidence can go a long way toward feeling comfortable in the kitchen, so don't scare him!

[Smithy]

Aren't we collectively funny?!

We haven't the first clue about what this guy is like - his preferences, fears, predilections - but we're all eager to lead him along a road he may not wish to walk!

Do let us now what you find out; it should be clear that you have a captive audience...and no matter what happens in the culinary arena, here's hoping you enjoy the visit :-)

[liuzhou]

We haven't the first clue about what this guy is like - his preferences, fears, predilections - but we're all eager to lead him along a road he may not wish to walk!

Er. I think you'll find a few people have said that it all depends on what he wants, and that is what the OP has to find out first.

[msfurious1]

We haven't the first clue about what this guy is like - his preferences, fears, predilections - but we're all eager to lead him along a road he may not wish to walk!

Er. I think you'll find a few people have said that it all depends on what he wants, and that is what the OP has to find out first.

The OP needs to find out if his friend's son even wants his his self admitted limited help to learn to cook. He hasn't even met him.

All the suggestions are good advice for what to start out teaching someone how to cook, the title of the thread.

What is not known is if the all the advice that has been given on these last few pages is wanted or needed in this specific case.

(Dollars to doughnuts, I'm sure that there are other threads somewhere here on this same subject. )

Edited September 15, 2013 by msfurious1 (log)

[Alex]

Does he want to learn? Horse, water: that's my concern.

Very true for a man.

I learned to cook because I didn't have the money to buy a fancy Italian sports car, then I realized it is more effective to win a lady's heart to be able to dazzle her with a multi-course candle light dinner that you whipped up from your kitchen.

It's all about sex, for a man.

dcarch

I probably would have followed the same cooking path no matter what, but it sure didn't hurt my dating life. Twenty-three years later, Ms. Alex still remembers the details of the first dinner I cooked for her (now there's a forum waiting to happen), not to mention what we ate on our first date, at a Chinese restaurant (and even what we wore and where we sat!).

About the son, if he's reasonably healthy and happy eating the way he does, I'd leave him alone. I mean, sheesh, he's 58. And how much is he going to resent any pressure, even if well intended, to start eating differently? How about just enjoying his visit and eating some good food together without the pressure or advice? If you (or Toots) feel you must do something, talk with him about how he's doing with finding a significant other who likes to cook. But that, too, like Chris A wrote, "Horse, water."

[Smithy]

*bump*

Shel_B, have there been any new bits of information or insight into this issue? I'm guessing that the originally-posted "in a few weeks" time hasn't elapsed quite yet....but I, for one, am still eager to read what you learn.

I'm also guessing that your lessons will include Basic Care and Feeding of Kitchen Utensils...like not leaving an empty pan on high heat. ;-)

[Shel_B]

*bump*

Shel_B, have there been any new bits of information or insight into this issue? I'm guessing that the originally-posted "in a few weeks" time hasn't elapsed quite yet....but I, for one, am still eager to read what you learn.

I'm also guessing that your lessons will include Basic Care and Feeding of Kitchen Utensils...like not leaving an empty pan on high heat. ;-)

Nothing new - the son has not arrived, and now he's waffling on the date.

My new 1.5 quart saucepan should arrive on Tuesday - maybe even tomorrow as it arrived in town early this morning. I'm anxious to see how the All-Clad D5 compares to other All-Clad that I have, and to compare it to the Calphalon tri-ply as well.

Edited September 29, 2013 by Shel_B (log)

[Plantes Vertes]

This is the chicken noodle soup that my housemate made for the first time. I told him what to do and then he made it himself:

Now is the first opportunity he has had to learn cooking. We agreed that we will make one new recipe a week together and try to cover a new technique each time.

I'm really glad that my housemate brought this up. I have noticed that he's not confident in the kitchen but didn't want to intrude on his learning beyond answering questions until now. I'm sure he'll be able to improve his diet a lot even with what I can show him, which is certainly no more than the basics, and he won't be dissapointed in his meals any more. It'll be nice for us to do this together, too.

[cbread]

My sister's latest boyfriend was divorced at 50. He had never cooked for himself, was living on junk food, and had no interest in learning to cook. She started out by noticing what he would order when they went out to a restaurant, and then asked him to help her when she made simple versions of those same dishes at home. I think they started out with salad and chili. He was shocked at how easy it was. Now he has a small repertoire, and proudly makes dinner when she has to work late. Quite a turn around.

Very good idea there.

I'd add a couple of notions.

1. Teach him to spiff up prepared items, like making a packaged soup a lot better. That's a good way for some people to learn their way round a kitchen with less stress than trying to make stuff from scratch. Lots of prepared foods can be made better by simple additions. Add canned broth rather than water to prepared soups, Make your own croutons. Add stuff like veggies and barley to soups. A couple of spices added...

2. Keep it drop dead simple until or unless he asks for more.

[Cragganmore17]

The point: For some people, seeing something incredibly easy (a perfectly sauteed chicken breast with S&P) that tastes like a million bucks can inspire them to want to learn.

My $.02 (depending on exchange rates)

Film director Robert Rodriguez had a cooking lesson on his DVD of Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and he suggested that one can learn one or two recipes at a time, make them several times until they are learned well, and then move on to other recipes, using the same repetitive technique. After a while, you'd have a repertoire of several recipes you could count on for yourself and for guests. I may suggest that technique with some recipes or foods Toots' son might like.

In the spirit of Rodriguez, I'd suggest a braise or stew. Whether the pibil recipe, short ribs, or even chili you'll be teaching him to cost effectively make a ton of food thats flavorful and nutritious. Leftovers are an integral part of single living. One pot meals are also clutch for the lazy solitary male, or so I've heard.

With a braise you'll be teaching him to chop veg (a time consuming endeavor for those who don't know what they're doing which prevents many people from learning to cook), sear meat, build flavor through aromatics, seasoning and the science behind adding herbs/spices to hot oil, why you deglaze, and the beauty of simmering. He may even get a lesson on pressure cooking. With that basic skill set he can feed himself well.

if you live in a warm weather climate, teach him to grill. I don't any men who don't have an interest in grilling meat.

[gfweb]

Omelet and fritata. Quick reward...variations are easy.

[Porthos]

I don't any men who don't have an interest in grilling meat.

I have a guy on my ren faire cooking team that has never grilled and wants nothing to do with it. Certainly a rarity but they do exist.

[weedy]

I'd find out what he likes to EAT... make that for him.

Blow him away.

then offer to show him how to do it. while reiterating "It's easy"!

I think anyone can learn to:

fry and scramble eggs.

make a simple vinaigrette.

pan sear a piece of tuna.

grill a piece of meat.

make a simple tomato sauce.

boil pasta.

after that, it's down to what they WANT to do.