Help! I've lost my cooking mojo and I want it back!

[Margaret Pilgrim]

Every story above resonates with me.   This Spring I realized that my back would no longer let me pull off the kind of dinner party we were used to.   And husband has a serious medical condition that forces him to eat small amounts throughout the day, which changes the format of our dinners.    He also has trouble handling most meat.   We have both lost weight and are at "fighting weight".   I have little motivation or interest in either cooking or eating.

 

We are surviving/thriving? on pots of soup and baked dishes (mac and cheese; scalloped potatoes and ham, etc) that work beyond one dinner.   Husband enjoys dinners of "bits and pieces", a collection of small bites, a platter of assorted dishes, but unless composed from leftovers, this is a lot of work.

 

Our biggest problem of the day is consistently "what's for dinner".   I have no solutions but continue to strive for a degree of variety to kindle appetite.   All suggestions welcomed!!

 

 

[YvetteMT]

1 hour ago, Smithy said:

 

It seems to me that in that case, the partner should make the meal! But I confess, my darling's idea of "company" dinner and mine were a bit different. Maybe it's the same for you?

Vastly different ideas on what equals dinner with guests! No one would starve if Partner was left to his own devices, and none of our friends would blink twice other than to ask if I had gone on a trip.

[Smithy]

45 minutes ago, ElsieD said:

But things like making dinner?  The routine stuff?  No thank you.  To alleviate that "I don't feel like cooking feeling" I've started to start dinner prep earlier in the afternoon.  I do the chopping ahead of time.  If I'm making a sauce, ingredients are measured and, if suitable, mixed together.  What can be done ahead of time, I do.  That way, the actual cooking doesn't seem so onerous.

 

This very much resonates with me. I've learned that I'm actually hungry around 5 or 6 pm (and that seems to be getting earlier as the days get shorter). If I haven't already done some sort of prep work then I'm likely to eat a chunk of broccoli, or a grilled sandwich, and call it dinner.

[Senior Sea Kayaker]

Having a vegetable garden can be a very positive motivator. 

During gardening season I really like going out and picking some produce and making something.

A good example would be picking the ingredients for a super fresh shakshuka first thing in the morning.

You also have to find ways of not wasting what you've put effort and money into growing.

 

 

[ElsieD]

3 minutes ago, Senior Sea Kayaker said:

Having a vegetable garden can be a very positive motivator. 

During gardening season I really like going out and picking some produce and making something.

A good example would be picking the ingredients for a super fresh shakshuka first thing in the morning.

You also have to find ways of not wasting what you've put effort and money into growing.

 

 

A little background to the garden:

 

My SIL and her husband always had a garden.  He died this past August and knowing how much they liked to garden we decided the three of us would garden together.  She loves going through seed catalogues in the winter and she and I will keep up a running commentary on what we will grow.  She will order the seeds.  John  already prepared the beds for spring planting and we will go out in the spring and throughout the summer to plant, weed and harvest.  But,  we can't hop out to pick a little something during the day.  The drive to her place takes anywhere from 1 1/4 hours to 1 1/2 hours each way so that won't be happening.  But the main thing about all this is we wanted to do something to possibly ease her pain at his passing.  I love her dearly and we hope this might bring her some comfort.

  

[Senior Sea Kayaker]

3 minutes ago, ElsieD said:

A little background to the garden:

 

My SIL and her husband always had a garden.  He died this past August and knowing how much they liked to garden we decided the three of us would garden together.  She loves going through seed catalogues in the winter and she and I will keep up a running commentary on what we will grow.  She will order the seeds.  John  already prepared the beds for spring planting and we will go out in the spring and throughout the summer to plant, weed and harvest.  But,  we can't hop out to pick a little something during the day.  The drive to her place takes anywhere from 1 1/4 hours to 1 1/2 hours each way so that won't be happening.  But the main thing about all this is we wanted to do something to possibly ease her pain at his passing.  I love her dearly and we hope this might bring her some comfort.

  

 

I think that's a great way to remember him. 

I don't know whether you've gardened before but I think you'll enjoy all the aspects from planning to harvest.

 

[Nancy in Pátzcuaro]

Boy, do I sympathize with you, Smithy. I went through something like that earlier this fall. No interest in food (much less cooking), weight loss--the whole deal. I suspect it had something to do with depression, which has never been a problem for me, and after trying some medication that didn't agree with me I decided to just "snap out of it!" Seems to have worked, though the interest in cooking has taken longer to return. I am, however, happy with my new weight. (Gives me a chance to buy new clothes!) My spouse keeps bugging me to eat more because he doesn't want me to lose more weight, but I think that won't be a problem since I'm eating more normally (i.e., meals rather than snacking). 

 

I've also become interested in sourdough, both the bread and all the wonderful things you can make from the discard. Tortillas, English muffins, crumpets, crackers, pancakes (the best)--I'm having a grand old time. So there's that, at least. I'm confident the rest will return, eventually.

[Darienne]

Went to this topic and  read most of it going back one day.  I'm not cooking anymore at all except for gluten free brownies...bad timing on Ed's part, ending up gluten intolerant at 84...and ice cream.  I've been basically bedridden since the summer with no idea when it will end...if at all.  Ed is doing all the cooking and food prep now.  Life is not fair and that's that.

 

Some of you know my story.  Surgery followed by loss of ability to function as I had my entire life.  I'll just leave it there as this is both public and about cooking.

 

I miss the cooking.  I miss the forum but can't push myself to follow any of it.  Some things just don't get better or have solutions.  There is still a small  ray of hope left but this weekend saw a decrease in that small ray.  Sorry all.  And thanks for so many good years.

[rotuts]

very interesting tread .

 

Ive got plenty of Mojo , 

 

but also an age related balance issue , and the like 

 

I used to wangle 6 - 10 corn beef slabs , from S&Shop 

 

on sale before St.P's days .  SV  .  slightly smoked .

 

then have a freezer full of the stuff ( having a chamberVac )

 

and the same w  22 - 24 turkeys on sale , near USA thanksgiving .

 

now :  its Fz turkey breasts , 8 - 9 lbs  .  on sale of course .

 

ie doesn't happen very often !

 

here :

 

https://forums.egullet.org/topic/167159-stock-instant-potd/#comment-2437466

 

I easily made stock from the 2 TBs I just turned into Fz TB's for the future .

 

looks like a lot of work , but it was all timed, 

 

and I got to the next step , when I did , as the steps were not time sensitive.

 

Ill do this again , as the TB's vac'd and Fz I early use , for 

 

a curry ?  or something else 

 

now , about :  Time Marches On ?

 

well

 

I thought Id get a fresh whole turkey .  89 cents / lbs !!

 

about 12 lbs .   do the two TB's  as noted 

 

the legs/thighs CSO's

 

I vac the thighs , and use the leg meat w the carcass for Stock !

 

Id carefully trim the wings ( getting rid of the ropes of fat along them )

\

and  Air Fry !

 

its been said , by my mother from time to time :

 

are your eyes bigger than your stomach ?

 

well ,  updated :  

 

a whole turkey ,  well  ...

 

I have until; the Friday after USA thanks giving to decide .

 

plenty of time to Rest Up , and ....

 

 

 

Edited November 18 by rotuts (log)

[Katie Meadow]

3 hours ago, Darienne said:

Went to this topic and  read most of it going back one day.  I'm not cooking anymore at all except for gluten free brownies...bad timing on Ed's part, ending up gluten intolerant at 84...and ice cream.  I've been basically bedridden since the summer with no idea when it will end...if at all.  Ed is doing all the cooking and food prep now.  Life is not fair and that's that.

 

Some of you know my story.  Surgery followed by loss of ability to function as I had my entire life.  I'll just leave it there as this is both public and about cooking.

 

I miss the cooking.  I miss the forum but can't push myself to follow any of it.  Some things just don't get better or have solutions.  There is still a small  ray of hope left but this weekend saw a decrease in that small ray.  Sorry all.  And thanks for so many good years.

So sorry to hear this. Best wishes to you and Ed, and fingers crossed he can continue to cook for you. Since breaking my hip earlier this year I don't like standing still next to the stove. Our solution is that I do a lot of chopping and prep work sitting at the kitchen table. Then I tell my husband what to do with it all. He's doing quite well, but when I ask him to describe the cooking temp, he has no ability to distinguish between a low simmer and a high boil. He just says, "It's bubbling," So at that point I have walk over to the stove and check it out.  Perceiving the Liquid level in the pot is also problematic, even if I say "2 inches above the beans." The learning curve, when it comes to cooking, seems to get slower with age, or maybe it's just him. This doesn't not apply to bread and biscuits, of which he is a wizard and I know zero.

[JoNorvelleWalker]

I have been off eating and cookery for a couple years, but I still buy cookbooks.

 

[ElsieD]

8 minutes ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

I have been off eating and cookery for a couple years, but I still buy cookbooks.

 

I'm guilty of buying them too.  I still enjoy flipping through them.

[MaryIsobel]

1 hour ago, ElsieD said:

I'm guilty of buying them too.  I still enjoy flipping through them.

Me too. I have also lost my mojo (long story) - but reading cookbooks makes me feel like there is still hope for me. Our local Salvation Army thrift store has most of their  books for .50 or less and with my 25% senior's discount, I consider them disposable but of course I don't dispose of them. I ask my daughters and my sisters if they would like them and if not, I dontate them back.

[ElsieD]

15 minutes ago, MaryIsobel said:

Me too. I have also lost my mojo (long story) - but reading cookbooks makes me feel like there is still hope for me. Our local Salvation Army thrift store has most of their  books for .50 or less and with my 25% senior's discount, I consider them disposable but of course I don't dispose of them. I ask my daughters and my sisters if they would like them and if not, I dontate them back.

I scour the thrift stores for cookbooks too, but only when I'm out by myself. 😄 Last time out I bought a couple of annual editions of Cooking Light, where they have gathered all the recipes for any one year, and Gordon Ramsey's Healthy Apppetite.  I can't remember what I paid for them but it wasn't much.  I leaf through them and if I think i might make a recipe I photocopy it.  The books get recycled back to the thrift stores.

[Smithy]

My cookbook collection is wildly out of control, especially now that I've emptied the Princessmobile, but I do find the books to be inspiring. I've also been going back through the Camping, Princess Style topic and, though I miss my husband terribly, seeing some pretty good food that I used to cook. Maybe I will get that mojo back after all, but I still need to learn to cook smaller portions so I'm not eating the same thing all week.

 

Also, I need to get through the stuff he loved that I don't, but is occupying the freezer anyway. Frozen peas, anyone?

[DesertTinker]

20 minutes ago, Smithy said:

My cookbook collection is wildly out of control, especially now that I've emptied the Princessmobile, but I do find the books to be inspiring. I've also been going back through the Camping, Princess Style topic and, though I miss my husband terribly, seeing some pretty good food that I used to cook. Maybe I will get that mojo back after all, but I still need to learn to cook smaller portions so I'm not eating the same thing all week.

 

Also, I need to get through the stuff he loved that I don't, but is occupying the freezer anyway. Frozen peas, anyone?

There’s no ironic smile with a tear emoji, so you’ll have to imagine it.
 

Inherited left behind personal favorites are a rough thing to have to deal with, you don’t want or need them, but there’s still that connection/guilt until you finally ready get rid of them.

[AlaMoi]

as cited by various members in this thread . . . when life whammies you with unpleasant situations . . . one's focus does shift, and it is not at all unreasonable that 'putting effort & care' into cooking will settle to the bottom of one's priorities. 

 

after getting tossed on the trash heap of the aged out un-employable . . . I started working (independently) from home, and had time to devote to honing my cooking skills.  my motivation is very simple - to have really delicious stuff to eat.  and likely most of that motivation is making my DearWife happy.

losing a spouse/SO through death/other is devastating enough - as a de-motivating factor to cooking . . . it is a huge factor.

cooking-for-one, why?  I can survive on hot dogs, hard boiled eggs . .  and frozen entries . . .

I have done remote "assignments" for months and months - living alone.  there is very minuscule motivation to do anything 'above and beyond'

 

absent external factors, I think the increase/decrease of 'man am I gonna' cook this up' feelings is quite natural.

it happens.  the pendulum will swing . . . and I'll be making oysters Rockefeller right quick, again . . .

[MaryIsobel]

4 hours ago, Smithy said:

My cookbook collection is wildly out of control, especially now that I've emptied the Princessmobile, but I do find the books to be inspiring. I've also been going back through the Camping, Princess Style topic and, though I miss my husband terribly, seeing some pretty good food that I used to cook. Maybe I will get that mojo back after all, but I still need to learn to cook smaller portions so I'm not eating the same thing all week.

 

Also, I need to get through the stuff he loved that I don't, but is occupying the freezer anyway. Frozen peas, anyone?

I can only imagine @Smithy(my husband loves peas and I don't!) We're going to have to have the hard conversation about getting rid of the 5th wheel due to his health issues and my ortho issuues. We had a dream of months long road trips as @Smithyand her beloved husband did. First Covid got in our way, then health issues and still health issues...I am going to go about it by suggesting that we could rent cabins all over the areas that we love to camp. Wish me luck.

[TdeV]

8 hours ago, MaryIsobel said:

 Wish me luck.

 

Luck and good wishes to you!

[chromedome]

12 hours ago, Smithy said:

Maybe I will get that mojo back after all, but I still need to learn to cook smaller portions so I'm not eating the same thing all week.

 

I leaned on my freezer for that, when I was newly widowed myself (10 years this spring, around the same time I came back to eG after a few years' hiatus). I never really adapted to "cooking small," so instead I would cook a normal batch size (2-4 portions for some things, bigger for others). I'd eat one meal that day, keep one in the fridge for a day or two later, and then freeze the remainder in single-size portions. After a few weeks of doing this I had a nice variety in the freezer, and could pick and choose if I didn't feel like cooking that day or was busy with other things. "Cooking days" eventually gravitated toward the day or two after I hit the farmer's market and/or went shopping, so I could use up perishables quickly.

[munchymom]

I got the one-two punch of a Type 2 Diabetes diagnosis, which means I can't eat a lot of the foods I used to love, and the Ozempic they prescribed for it, which makes me feel pretty meh about the foods I can eat.  Being a good home cook and a foodie used to be a big part of my identity and there's just a big hole where it used to be. I don't know that the cooking mojo will ever come back.

[Nancy in Pátzcuaro]

My deepest sympathy, Smithy. I didn't realize you'd lost your husband. That would definitely put me off cooking, so I understand how your mojo is gone.

[Shel_B]

On 11/17/2024 at 4:28 PM, Smithy said:

So. Maybe it's time to revisit this topic?

Personal circumstances have knocked the stuffing out of my cooking enthusiasm. 

[...]

How about the rest of you? This is, after all, a site dedicated to food (and drink) and cooking (and drink). When and if you've found your enthusiasm flagging, what have you done to revive it? Has it worked?

 

 

 I've been going through the same thing. After Sweetie died, my enthusiasm for most everything flagged, and my enthusiasm for cooking has dropped precipitously.  Sweetie was a motivator for me. We'd have guests for dinner regularly, I'd cook for her, she'd challenge me (There's a can of beans and angel hair pasta in the cupboard, make us some dinner).  I've not cooked for anyone in a long time ... my social network has been shattered.  I'm tying to get more involved  here at my apartment, but it is a Sisyphean task. We've a Thanksgiving pot luck coming up and I have all the needed ingredients for my contribution, but my enthusiasm is low.

[ElsieD]

14 minutes ago, Shel_B said:

 

 

 I've been going through the same thing. After Sweetie died, my enthusiasm for most everything flagged, and my enthusiasm for cooking has dropped precipitously.  Sweetie was a motivator for me. We'd have guests for dinner regularly, I'd cook for her, she'd challenge me (There's a can of beans and angel hair pasta in the cupboard, make us some dinner).  I've not cooked for anyone in a long time ... my social network has been shattered.  I'm tying to get more involved  here at my apartment, but it is a Sisyphean task. We've a Thanksgiving pot luck coming up and I have all the needed ingredients for my contribution, but my enthusiasm is low.

I'm so sorry your Sweetie died.  My sincere condolences.

[TdeV]

@Shel_B, so sorry.