I will never again . . . (Part 4)

[Anna N]

36 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

I will never again start reducing a chicken stock that took hours to make, then get engrossed in some nonsense on the internet . The stock reduced OK - to a brown sludge on the bottom of the pan.

 

I will never again, having reduced stock to a brown sludge on the bottom of a pan, curse at it, turn off the heat and stomp out the house for an hour or two to do some shopping, only to return to find that I didn't turn off the heat at all , but turned the knob in the wrong direction and only reduced it to minimum. Cooking brown sludge for two hours on minimum doesn't help.

 

 I cannot bring myself to hit the like button but on the other hand I am suppressing a chuckle. In the past I have found that taking out my temper on inanimate objects frequently causes me grief from same inanimate objects. Do I believe in animism……?

[chromedome]

I've done a similar thing...sliding the over-cooked article off the active burner with a curse, only to realize belatedly that I'd slid it to a burner I had used earlier (on my flat-top stove) and forgotten to turn off. 

 

Opening all the windows for smoke-clearance is not a happy scenario in mid-January in Atlantic Canada. 

[Darienne]

And so to add my adventure from last night to the thread.  I was reading a riveting passage in my current murder mystery book while in the kitchen, and after adding some sugar to the Orange Julep I was making to accompany our supper of popcorn and Orange Julep, turned on the blender to mix the sugar in...

 

Alas.  I had forgotten to put the lid back onto the blender and suddenly I had orange pulp and liquid all over the place.  ALL OVER THE PLACE!   Took me forever to clean it up.  

 

Now that was a first for me and a good example of why I should never read in the kitchen.

[lindag]

sounds like a really great book, can you tell us what it is?

[Darienne]

34 minutes ago, lindag said:

sounds like a really great book, can you tell us what it is?

Not exactly intellectually challenging, but nonetheless interesting.  The series is British, by Ann Cleeves, the heroine/detective is Vera Stanhope, the stories are set in Northumbria.  Detective Stanhope is, according to the text, fat and ugly, unloved, but brilliant.  The books have been made into a series but I've never seen them (and don't want to).   Rather just keep it all in my head.   Have to say that the mysteries are rather of the so-called 'cozy' variety.  

 

My DH has spoken to me on many occasions about my predilection for reading in the kitchen which is basically a dangerous thing to do.  Fortunately last night's adventure did not ruin any library books.  I am a voracious reader and cozy mysteries are only one slice of what I read. 

[lindag]

1 minute ago, Darienne said:

 I am a voracious reader and cozy mysteries are only one slice of what I read. 

 

Me too, although these days it's all audiobooks for me....so soothing.  I love listening when I go to bet at night, it's just so peaceful that I easily go to sleep.  Although sometimes I have to search back for the last chapter before I fell asleep.

The Ann Cleeves series sounds quite interesting, I'll definitely look for it.

[liuzhou]

14 minutes ago, lindag said:

I love listening when I go to bet at night

 

As a fellow gambling addict, I know what you mean! 

(Actually, gambling is one of the few vices I haven't taken up.)

I just wanted to add that in my defense, the cooker of which I tried to turn off the heat, but only turned to minimum I have only had for ten years, so I'm still getting used to it, despite it being the the same as the one I had for the previous ten.
 

Edited February 15, 2017 by liuzhou (log)

[Darienne]

10 hours ago, Porthos said:

I will never again haphazardly grab a slicing disk for the food processor when pulling it out of the dishwasher. What I will do is go back to my "top rack only for food processor parts" mantra.

And so...tell all...did you slice your hand or fingers?  Ouch.  Horrors.  I try to be so careful of slicing thingies.

[Porthos]

@Darienne  I cut the pad of my index finger but not horribly, taking out a tiny chunk. However, having the Bandaid on it interferes with so much. I am having to wear nitrile gloves to wash dishes, my smart phone doesn't recognize that finger, etc.

[chromedome]

That sucks. 

 

I took a pretty good chunk out of one of my fingers with a mandoline once, during service. Fortunately the owner's "niece-in-law," a registered nurse, was on hand and bandaged me up very professionally. I had to wear the glove for everything for about three weeks, until it had healed up reasonably. It took about two years to get back full sensation in that fingertip, though. 

[Porthos]

I've had one serious cut. Several years ago, before I adopted the pinch grip, I was trying to hurry and sliced across my left thumb pad deeply enough to need 5 stitches. The urgent care Dr had me soak the thumb in some solution for what was supposed to be about 40 minutes. 2 1/2 hours later he comes in and puts the stitches in. I still have no feeling in the part that had been hanging loose.  RE: the pinch grip: whenever I get someone new in my ren faire kitchens that doesn't have much in the way of knife skills the first thing I teach then is to use the pinch grip.

[chromedome]

It's always the first thing I show people in hands-on cooking classes, as well. 

"Grasping a tool by its handle is obvious, intuitive, an in this case completely wrong."

[liuzhou]

That was a close shave.

 

I was mixing a cake while listening to a rather fascinating interview on the radio, when I was required by the recipe to add a teaspoon of vanilla extract, reached out (without looking) and grabbed the nearest small bottle of said 'vanilla extract'; and was just about to tip in a teaspoonful when, just on time, I realised what I was holding in my hand was actually a tiny sample bottle of nam pla, Thai fish sauce. I can't even remember how it got into my kitchen.

 

Looking at the two bottles now, I see that one is much bigger than the other and the nam pla is clearly labelled Oyster brand and in case that isn't a big enough clue there is also a picture of an oyster. I'm just hoping that I might have noticed the aroma wasn't quite right. Fish sauce sponge cake, anyone?

 

 

 

[liuzhou]

I wish to formally inform the collected membership of this here community of something of which they may previously have been unaware. Spectacle wearers and yoghurt makers should pay special attention.

 

Those lucky ones among you who have no need of ocular assistance may not realise that spectacles are magnets. They attract all sorts of muck, filth and general detritus. This you don't want.

 

Those underprivileged people who don't make their own yoghurt may not realise that the manufacturing process requires bacteria. Not any old bacteria, though.

No doubt, my spectacles, without which I am bat blind, are a regular petri-basin of bacteria, but I guess the wrong type. I did try soaking my specs overnight in milk, but to no useful result.

So, there I was half an hour ago attempting to digest the latest hot news from eG, when I realised that the gunk on my glasses had reached critical overload blocking my view of the wit and wisdom on display and so, decided to clean them. For this purpose, I have some special Japanese devices, no doubt hi-tech, but really just mini wet-wipes sold as lens cleaners. Each wrapped in a little blue sachet.

Unfortunately, also on my desk (god knows why) at the time was a little blue sachet of Lactobaccillus, the very bacteria that milk loves when it wants to grow up into yoghurt.



In order to clean your specs you have to take them off, then you can't see what you are doing.

I am here to tell you that lactobacillus, wonderful and magical in all its milk-related properties, is utterly useless at cleaning spectacles. And mini wet-wipes do nothing for your milk either.

Don't forget!

Edited March 25, 2017 by liuzhou (log)

[chromedome]

It could always be worse. My ex-wife once mistook her contact lens protein-remover solution for her decongestant nasal spray, and snorted a significant quantity into her sinuses. Apparently, this is not a good place for protein-digesting enzymes. She was very emphatic about that, afterwards. 

[Anna N]

@liuzhou

 

Thanks a million. I just spit my Dublin Coddle all over my iPad and the the backwash covered my spectacles.  I hope you're satisfied. 

[liuzhou]

11 hours ago, Anna N said:

@liuzhou

 

Thanks a million. I just spit my Dublin Coddle all over my iPad and the the backwash covered my spectacles.  I hope you're satisfied. 

 

Happy to be of service, as always.

[ElsieD]

I will never again ask my husband to take charge of the Instant Pot.  One day last week I decided to make lasagna and cook it in the IP.  As I am looking after 2 little girls between 3:00 pm and about 7:45 pm it meant that I wouldn't get home until about 8:30.  I said, "If I make the lasagna up before I go out, can you put it on at around 7:30".  "No problem", he said.  So I showed him what buttons to push and told him to pull the plug after it had finished its 20 minutes on high pressure.  And away I went.  I got home at 8:20 and saw that the plug had not been pulled and it was 23 minutes into the keep warm cycle.  When asked why the plug had not been pulled I was told he didn't think it would be ready so soon.  Oh well, I thought, the valve thingy had dropped so we could eat.  With great anticipation as I was quite hungry, I opened the pot and peered inside.  It was empty.  He had forgotten to put the lasagna in there.  "No problem" indeed.

[kayb]

Grab the Chingkiang black vinegar while thinking I was grabbing the soy sauce.

 

That tuna poke' had a decided tang to it.

[Thanks for the Crepes]

I had to buy a 1 pound container of Badia ground black pepper. I usually buy it in the 7 oz. container, but they're frequently out of this size, so I got the larger size, figuring I'd go through it by myself in a year, well within expiration date and good, fragrant flavor.

 

So I poured the pepper from the larger container into the 7 oz. one I keep in the kitchen. When I replaced the pop-off shaker lid on this container, I thought to myself, "That doesn't seem like it has a very secure hold, but I've been worried about that before, and it has worked fine." The very first time I tried to use it was, luckily, over the sink where I had a steak on its styrofoam tray I cooked yesterday and wanted to season before I did so. I do it in the sink because it's easier to clean the oversprinke of salt and pepper in the sink than it is on the counter.

 

Well. Y'all know what happened, given the thread I'm posting this in.  I lost a couple, three ounces of great pepper, because it couldn't be salvaged after dumping out on raw meat.

 

I'm going to keep the larger 7 oz. container in the pantry closet in the foyer. I threw out the treacherous sprinkler top and filled up a smaller container with a sprinkler top that is actually hard to pop off and snaps back on securely.

 

Note to self: when your gut tells you you have a disaster in the making, please listen to it.

 

The good news is the steak was fine. Pepper is easy to dust off a raw ribeye, and I love pepper anyway. Could've been a lot worse if this was a soup or something. So lesson learned.

[Porthos]

10 hours ago, Thanks for the Crepes said:

 Could've been a lot worse if this was a soup or something.

 

My DW and I still like to kid our "faire nephew" who cooks in the ren faire kitchen and has since completed his culinary certicifate program. But ... there was the day when he was going to sprinkle a little bit of Old Bay Seasoning into some soup from a Costco-size container. He hadn't learned yet to hold jars that sprinkle at a right angle to the pot. Yup, the lid popped off and in went about half of the contents. The soup couldn't be salvaged.

Edited July 1, 2017 by Porthos (log)

[JoNorvelleWalker]

I will never again purchase a cut-up chicken (and this may be the first and last such I have bought) without looking closely at the label.

 

Tonight I was craving a CSO chicken thigh, nothing the less from seeing Anna's recent contribution.  The local Shoprite, the only store I can get to under my own steam, offers chicken thighs only in packages of ten.  Ten -- and never organic.  And that on a good day.  But I spied an organic, nice looking cut up chicken on sale.  I wanted thighs but I figured I could find use for the rest.

 

The first part I pulled out was a breast.  The second part I pulled out was a leg.  The third part I pulled out was a leg.  The fourth part I pulled out was a leg.  Do you see a pattern here?  The fifth part I pulled out was a leg.  I saw a lone breast left in the package and I began to realize there was no thigh for me tonight.

 

There -- in microscopic print -- was clearly stated "Four legs and two breasts" even though the packaging makes it impossible to actually see the pieces.  I am not a happy camper.

 

[patris]

9 hours ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

I will never again purchase a cut-up chicken (and this may be the first and last such I have bought) without looking closely at the label.

 

Tonight I was craving a CSO chicken thigh, nothing the less from seeing Anna's recent contribution.  The local Shoprite, the only store I can get to under my own steam, offers chicken thighs only in packages of ten.  Ten -- and never organic.  And that on a good day.  But I spied an organic, nice looking cut up chicken on sale.  I wanted thighs but I figured I could find use for the rest.

 

The first part I pulled out was a breast.  The second part I pulled out was a leg.  The third part I pulled out was a leg.  The fourth part I pulled out was a leg.  Do you see a pattern here?  The fifth part I pulled out was a leg.  I saw a lone breast left in the package and I began to realize there was no thigh for me tonight.

 

There -- in microscopic print -- was clearly stated "Four legs and two breasts" even though the packaging makes it impossible to actually see the pieces.  I am not a happy camper.

 

 

That must have been an odd looking chicken, but I bet it could run really fast.

[Porthos]

I am a slow learner. (once again) I will never use a recipe without reading though ALL of the instructions first.

 

I asked my daughter to find a recipe, she did, and I failed to read completely though it. Recipe for Instapot said cooking time was 40 minutes. That was the main cooking time. It doesn't include the first 10 minutes or so of cooking the onion, or the time required after you release pressure to add more ingredients and turn the pressure back on.

[ChocoMom]

I will never again open a Rapala Fillet knife without kevlar gloves on.   For those who don't know, Rapala's are sharper than the Sword of Elendil.   (I think they are forged by Finnish Elves.)   I lost my original one in the house fire, so I purchased a new one a few months ago. Decided to open it, so I could get some food prep done quickly, while the grandkids were here. They come with a leather holster, and are securely wrapped in a very thick plastic package.  I cut the top of the package open, and began to pull the sword, no, knife out---and sliced open the thick plastic. Forgetting that the knife blade can cut through plastic like soft butter, my left thumb ended up with a 1/2" long fillet cut, and bled like a stuck pig. 

 

My 4yo granddaughter was sitting at the counter, watching the whole thing unfold. Her little eyes turned as big as saucers when she saw the blood.  Her only comment was "OOOoooooo, Grammie. THAT is ALOT of blood......  Why you do that?"