I will never again . . . (Part 3)

[hathor]

was preparing various Thai last dishes last night and wondered why I got a  look from my friend when I stuck my head in the sauce cupboard muttering, 'I was sure I had a huge cock in here.'.....alas no fish sauce.... or anything else for that matter. Took a while to realise what I'd said...

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I hate when I misplace the big cock! Takes days for him to get over it.

So, what exactly where you looking for??

[insomniac]

was preparing various Thai last dishes last night and wondered why I got a  look from my friend when I stuck my head in the sauce cupboard muttering, 'I was sure I had a huge cock in here.'.....alas no fish sauce.... or anything else for that matter. Took a while to realise what I'd said...

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I hate when I misplace the big cock! Takes days for him to get over it.

So, what exactly where you looking for??

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and I did think later that I should have mentioned that it was cock brand fish sauce I was looking for

[Kerry Beal]

was preparing various Thai last dishes last night and wondered why I got a  look from my friend when I stuck my head in the sauce cupboard muttering, 'I was sure I had a huge cock in here.'.....alas no fish sauce.... or anything else for that matter. Took a while to realise what I'd said...

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I hate when I misplace the big cock! Takes days for him to get over it.

So, what exactly where you looking for??

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and I did think later that I should have mentioned that it was cock brand fish sauce I was looking for

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I knew exactly what you were talking about - the other day I opened one of Anna N's cupboards and said "oh, you've got a little cock in there". Didn't know they made pint sized bottles!

[Jon Savage]

In keeping with the capsicum theme...

I will never ever again substitute habanero peppers for jalapenos when making pepper poppers.

These were actually surprisingly edible and not nearly as hot as one would think (to eat). The agony the next morning was however profound.

Edited May 1, 2008 by 6ppc (log)

[Boy R D]

I will never again grab a bottle of Tabasco sauce to deglaze a smokin hot pan. This was before the days of my fancy 900 cfm range hood.

Yeah, whole family had to get out of the house.

[Fat Guy]

For some reason the Pyrex (maybe it wasn't) dish pretty much exploded, showering my bare legs and the rest of the kitchen with hot glass.  Luckily it didn't come up into my face.

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This happened to me as well in the other direction of the temperature gradient: rinsing out a hot Pyrex dish in cold water. I could feel it pulling apart in my hand in the instant before it shattered. No cuts, just surprise! (And those fragments fly an awfully long way.)

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Last night I roasted some potatoes in a Pyrex baking dish. I left the dish (after the potatoes were eaten) in the oven overnight and forgot about it. Tonight I was preheating the oven for something else and noticed a funny smell. There was the Pyrex dish, complete with a layer of charred potato residue.

So, without thinking about it for a second, I took the Pyrex dish out of the oven, put it in the sink and ran some water over it. Next thing I knew, my sink was full of tiny bits of the former baking dish.

No injuries, but it was a bitch to clean out the sink.

[racheld]

All far-thinking Southern cooks keep a can of Whack-It biscuits just for such emergencies. Picks up every shard. (After you've manually and carefully removed all the big ole chunks, of course). Just make sure to put them into an empty coffeecan. Or an empty tin can zipped into a ziploc works, too, so no unsuspecting animal will get them later.

Of course, that's the only reason I have Pillsburys in MY fridge.

[judiu]

All far-thinking Southern cooks keep a can of Whack-It biscuits just for such emergencies.  Picks up every shard.  (After you've manually and carefully removed all the big ole chunks, of course).  Just make sure to put them into an empty coffeecan.  Or an empty tin can zipped into a ziploc works, too, so no unsuspecting animal will get them later.

Of course, that's the only reason I have Pillsburys in MY fridge.

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Wow! I NEVER thought of that! My mom used to use damp cotton balls to gater up the glass, but whomp biscuits sound a lot easier!

[et alors]

... use a hand mixer in the south without first giving it several firm taps.

I was in college in Kansas City and making a cake for my friend's birthday. I used the hand mixer two-three times a year back then, otherwise is sat stored in the back of a dark cupboard. I suddenly noticed a bunch of black flakes in the batter, and turned off the mixer to investigate. Baby roaches swarmed out of the vent on top.

I thank the lord she wanted a white cake; i can think of several cakes where this might not have been caught. <shudder>

[k43]

Put some frozen stock in a pot and stuck it in the 400 degree oven to defrost while I got some other stuff ready. Took it out when it was melted (being careful to use a glove and a potholder) and put it on a stove eye. Put a roasting pan on the other eye, put the prepared ingredients in and picked up the pot to pour the stock over it. Without a potholder.

Blisters from the tip of my index finger across my palm and up my wrist.

I was in law school at the time and asked my torts prof whether I could sue myself for negligence. Got scorched again, just as bad.

[kimberli9]

...bump heads with my sous, ram style, while wearing stock pots on our heads, after consuming a few too many cocktails during kitchen cleaning.

(the first 3 hits went fine, but on the fourth, my elbows buckled and the edge of the pot came down on the bridge of my nose. I have two black eyes and a very sore head this AM...)

[Lior]

Oh dear! Poor you!

[racheld]

...bump heads with my sous, ram style, while wearing stock pots on our heads, after consuming a few too many cocktails during kitchen cleaning.

(the first 3 hits went fine, but on the fourth, my elbows buckled and the edge of the pot came down on the bridge of my nose.  I have two black eyes and a very sore head this AM...)

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I'm SAD, and I don't even KNOW you yet!!!

Welcome, and fade soon . . .

[OldSchoolMeetsNew]

AWESOME THREAD!!!!

...I laugh at the many things on this list I have done at one time or another.

...but I am the type of cook who loves to smell EVERYTHING but never again will I smell my polenta bubbling away like magma from a volcano just to have it pop into my face.

[chileheadmike]

Not sure if I've posted about this or not. We had a grill at an office I used to work at. The company was moving, and I was told to take that nasty crusty grill down to the car wash and clean it up.

OK

I threw it in the back of my truck and headed on down the road. I dissasmbled it, loaded the machine with quarters and let fire. It all came right back at me. I was covered in sludge. Nice. Boss wouldn't let me go home to change either.

[Chris Hennes]

Buy the wrong bird.

At the local Asian mega-mart last week I bought a chicken for stock. Or, I thought I bought a chicken. As I was walking to the car I looked at the feet poking out of my shopping bag and though, "hey, chicken don't have webbed feet!" Doh! So, duck stock it is.

[sazji]

Put some frozen stock in a pot and stuck it in the 400 degree oven to defrost while I got some other stuff ready.  Took it out when it was melted (being careful to use a glove and a potholder) and put it on a stove eye.  Put a roasting pan on the other eye, put the prepared ingredients in and picked up the pot to pour the stock over it.  Without a potholder.

Blisters from the tip of my index finger across my palm and up my wrist.

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Been there many times. So many times in fact that I now refer to that as "my cornbread trick." Lately it has begun to sink in; the mnemonic I use is my mom's trick, leave the potholder on the handle so you are reminded when you turn back to it!

[C. sapidus]

I will never again economize on paper towels when seasoning a wok. Standard procedure: heat the wok to smoking, add oil, and wipe the madly-smoking oil around with paper towels. Yeah, I know, but I have never had a mishap before. I usually grab two paper towels for this procedure. For whatever reason, the other night I only used one paper towel and dipped my finger in smoking-hot oil.

Yes, this is as painful as it sounds. The blister is developing nicely. Would anyone like me to explain the concept of “false economy”?

[beansnrice]

I will never leave bbq pork on the roof of my car and drive off. Best smelling car ride of my life, still wondered what it woulda tasted like

i'm sure it's been done, but won't mix up my sugar and my salt... salty red bean paste in salted tapioca pudding

[bergerka]

And to go along with beansnrice, above, I will never again put the cannisters of sugar and salt (unlabeled, but COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CANNISTERS) next to each other on my kitchen counter.

The scene: me, happily making the Smitten Bitch's (it's an endearment, trust me, I adore this woman) cream cheese pound cake with strawberry coulis for a dinner party. Humming away to my iPod, I put in the requisite three cups of...well, I thought it was sugar.

Can we all just say how glad we are that I have this nasty tendency to taste batter before I bake it?

Salt. THREE CUPS of salt.

*gag*

After much cursing, I went back to the store for more butter, cream cheese and salt, since the recipe also requires a touch of it and I was now FRESH OUT.

I then came home and wrote, in permanent marker, SAL in great big letters on the top of my salt cannister. Just in case.

Edited May 4, 2009 by bergerka (log)

[scubadoo97]

I will never again economize on paper towels when seasoning a wok. Standard procedure: heat the wok to smoking, add oil, and wipe the madly-smoking oil around with paper towels. Yeah, I know, but I have never had a mishap before. I usually grab two paper towels for this procedure. For whatever reason, the other night I only used one paper towel and dipped my finger in smoking-hot oil.

Yes, this is as painful as it sounds. The blister is developing nicely. Would anyone like me to explain the concept of “false economy”?

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I've done this while oiling a cast iron skillet after use. The smoking hot oil wicked up the paper and blistered my thumb in about 2 seconds. I now use tongs to hold the paper wad.

[heidih]

Stuffed a pliable dried pasilla chili into a small cup, just covered with water and set in microwave to heat the water. I had not de-stemmed it, and it apparently had no holes in it, because it swelled up like a blimp sticking straight up and was in the process of taking off out of the cup and christening the microwave with chile guts just as I opened the door. Close one! Next time, heat water, then add chile.

[C. sapidus]

. . . I now use tongs to hold the paper wad.

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I would probably have to burn my fingers again before doing something sensible like that.

[lesterj2]

I've read most of these posts and haven't seen this one...does that mean I'm the only moron who has washed her hands, shaken them a bit because no clean towel in sight, and reached in to the freezer with still-wet hands to pull out a metal pan? All ten fingers stuck firmly to said pan. And I've done it more than once.

[andiesenji]

And to go along with beansnrice, above, I will never again put the cannisters of sugar and salt (unlabeled, but COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CANNISTERS) next to each other on my kitchen counter.

The scene: me, happily making the Smitten Bitch's (it's an endearment, trust me, I adore this woman) cream cheese pound cake with strawberry coulis for a dinner party. Humming away to my iPod, I put in the requisite three cups of...well, I thought it was sugar.

Can we all just say how glad we are that I have this nasty tendency to taste batter before I bake it?

Salt. THREE CUPS of salt.

*gag*

After much cursing, I went back to the store for more butter, cream cheese and salt, since the recipe also requires a touch of it and I was now FRESH OUT.

I then came home and wrote, in permanent marker, SAL in great big letters on the top of my salt cannister. Just in case.

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Wow, I'm not the only one..... In fact, having done this many years ago when preparing a batch of blondies, this was the reason I began and continue to this day, use only kosher salt (Diamond Crystal) for baking, even though I have had to recalculate all my recipes, because it looks very different from sugar.

Although all my canisters were clearly labeled - back then I had those big glass, slant-front "candy store" containers and the salt and sugar were right next to each other (label on lid only) so it was easy to err.

Now regular granulated sugar and the superfine sugar each occupy 8 quart Cambro square containers and the kosher salt is in a 2 quart round container - just in case.... No chance of a mix-up.

Edited May 14, 2009 by andiesenji (log)