I will never again . . . (Part 3)

[hummingbirdkiss]

I will never again put a vanilla bean in salt and then put it in a jar that looks like the sugar jar

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Deja vu!

You and my mother must be long lost twins or something....

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OHHH I missed that I feel so validated now!!! thanks!!! that was horrible I put a cup salt in a cake and knew when I was doing it something did not "feel" right

oh well lesson learned!

[zeffer81]

I will never, never again ignore my boyfriend who is shelling shrimp cocktail and only briefly wonder why it came with the shell on. When he wasn't scarfing down his dinner a while later, I asked him what was wrong. "I think I had a Zoe moment," he says. I have a habit of deciding mid-meal that I dislike a certain item--often a sea-dweller. He then asked "isn't cooked shrimp supposed to be pinkish?"

Me: "Yes..."

Him: "Well, mine wasn't pink, it was more gray."

Me: (trying to decided whether to laugh or gag and meawhile doing a little of both.) "Wait, your shrimp was GRAY?!"

Him: "Yeeesss" (slowly realizing something was wrong."

Me: with a snort "Honey, I think you ate raw shrimp! You didn't realize?"

Him: "Well, they did seem a little slimy but I just put more cocktail sauce on it. " (cue priceless quote of the evening) "Cocktail sauce makes everything taste better.

The kicker is that he seemed totally nonchalant about the entire incident--and he even had shrimp scampi for dinner the next night!

[VPF]

Did not do this myself...

mistake a box of baking soda for corn starch.

[CheGuevara]

When you burn your finger like that, everyone does the same little dance. You know the one, that kind of speedy foot jive, followed by the Michael Jackson spin.

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hey GTO, a little off topic but was looking through your pictures, very nice. tried commenting on your blog but was a bit lazy, so here it is - the smallest plums in the universe are mirabelles....they're marble sized....

-che

Edited August 14, 2007 by CheGuevara (log)

[The Blissful Glutton]

I had another moment last night was I was cooking for a chef friend. Was making fries and had the thermometer in to monitor the temperature. Have a new puppy who decided to go to the bathroom on the rug, so I had to abandon the oil (the fries had just been blanched). Came back after cleaning up and the thermometer had shattered into the pot. Had to go get more oil and dirty another pot, but the fries were still good. I won't be making that mistake again...

[jende]

We had an intern at the office several years ago who misread the instructions on her microwaveable burrito and nuked it for 12 minutes (the time suggested for a regular oven).

By the time she discovered her mistake, the burrito was flaming and smoke was filling the kitchen, soon to spread to the rest of the office. Needless to say, she never "graduated" to full-time employee.

[LittleChef22]

Put a cookie sheet on top of the stove while on!!

[onehsancare]

I will never again . . .

1. Make a watermelon wedding cake

(here’s the thread about why we needed it Non-Cake Cake thread);

2. Leave to deliver the cake;

3. Allow Mr. Care to take care of the huge bowl of scraps (which we were going to eat);

4. Not question where the scraps were moved to get them out of reach of the dogs; and

5. Eight days later, open the oven to preheat it and discover the most disgusting mass of flies, fermented watermelon, and mold I've ever seen. (It’s been warm here.)

GAG.

[rooftop1000]

Ahhhh

well the cake looks great

and good other people stash things in the oven and forget too..I havent had flies yet though

tracey

[sazji]

Ummm...I hope the privelege of cleaning up said mess went to Mr. Care!

[Dianabanana]

Ohhh, I can't believe it took me until now to remember this one! This one's not mine, as you will see.

I was 19 years old, at my boyfriend's beach house with his brother and his brother's friend, all stoned and starting to get hungry, and me seriously starting to think of breaking up with the boyfriend. A few days before, the boyfriend had firmly asserted that you needed a popcorn popper to make popcorn, until I proceeded to make it in a pan in front of his disbelieving eyes. On this night, he proudly volunteered to make popcorn in a pan, adding that he would pop it in butter instead of oil. I told him the butter would burn, he said I was stupid. We reiterated our positions. I sat back on the sofa to watch.

First smoke. Then lots of smoke. Then, to my extreme satisfaction, as he took the lid off the pot, great leaping flames. Then the boyfriend running to the bedroom, grabbing a blanket, throwing it over the flaming pot, the blanket bursting into great leaping flames, the smoke detector going off, the boyfriend flapping the flaming blanket in the air, the brother and his friend throwing another blanket on the already flaming one, the second blanket bursting into flames, the brother and his friend pouring beer on the conflagration, and finally the soft hiss of beer on molten polyester fleece.

I'm assuming he never did that again--I wouldn't know, we broke up shortly afterward!

[onehsancare]

Ummm...I hope the privelege of cleaning up said mess went to Mr. Care! 

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There was never any doubt about that!!

(He's the best husband in the world--I hardly ever get to blame him for anything!)

[Dianabanana]

This was the favorite cooking method of the grandmother of a friend of mine...his grandfather loved her anyway, and affectionately called her "Bessemer Betty."

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I love it!

[Emily_R]

Did not do this myself...

mistake a box of baking soda for corn starch.

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Oh yeah! That reminds me of the time I had made gingerbread men and was making icing. I added just a few drops of water to the powdered sugar, but for some reason, it didn't come together the way that royal icing normally does. I added more and more water, until finally I got something that looked like it would work. Iced a few cookies, decided to try one, and then discovered that what I thought had been powdered sugar was--- CORNSTARCH! Mmm. Cornstarch icing....

[Dianabanana]

Oh, speaking of gingerbread . . . there was the time the teenage me spent all evening making templates, baking gingerbread, and assembling a gingerbread house. As I was getting ready to decorate it, I was muttering out loud that the gingerbread was a little too soft and I wished the walls were firmer. Dad (whose only foray into the kitchen that I ever remember involved a trip to the emergency room to salvage a thumb nearly lost in a fish-scaling mishap) helpfully suggested that I just pop it back into the oven to "dry out." Dubious about my source but not having any better ideas myself, I did, and thus was born the world's first Salvador Dali gingerbread house.

[onrushpam]

Mmm. Cornstarch icing....

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One of the hospitals where DH worked gave us a HUGE ham at Christmas. I decided to take it to a New Year's gathering, but got home from work late the night before and wound up baking the ham in the wee hours of the morning. For some reason, I decided it really needed a pineapple glaze. So, I put pineapple juice in the pot and then added BAKING SODA!

In my sleep-deprived state, I somehow thought I could salvage it by just dumping in the corn starch.

MMMMMM.... Pineapple Play Dough!

[Jakea222]

I love all of that. Try a new recipe your first day on the job! I tried to do something as simple as passion fruit creme brulee - some how the acid did something strange to the method and they broke while cooking - needed them for a dinner that night and well - I had try them again and she helped - I thought I was going to leave a job after a couple days - but the chef was cool and laughed and still does -

[racheld]

Oh, speaking of gingerbread . . . there was the time the teenage me spent all evening making templates, baking gingerbread, and assembling a gingerbread house. As I was getting ready to decorate it, I was muttering out loud that the gingerbread was a little too soft and I wished the walls were firmer. Dad (whose only foray into the kitchen that I ever remember involved a trip to the emergency room to salvage a thumb nearly lost in a fish-scaling mishap) helpfully suggested that I just pop it back into the oven to "dry out." Dubious about my source but not having any better ideas myself, I did, and thus was born the world's first Salvador Dali gingerbread house.

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Did you get pictures? Never mind. I CAN SEE IT!!! I CAN SEE IT!!!

[miladyinsanity]

I'll never again try to turn a regular cake into a low-fat one by omitting all the butter.

By accident.

*headdesk*

[scubadoo97]

My second entry to this thread. I had taken 4 lbs of chicken bones, backs, ribs and ends and was in the process of making chicken stock. I had been out helping my daughter find stuff for college and came into the kitchen pulled the colander out and proceeded to pour my stock down the drain. Caught myself after half of it had been dumped. For the little bit I had left I just ended up reducing it to down to a demi glaze. Not enough to really do a lot with. Funny thing is that I had seen someone post this exact situation on this thread a while back.

[moreace01]

So...my officemate often sends me links to cooking products, asking for advice. She sent me a link to an immersion blender. I told her that it wasn't good for much but pureeing. She responded "what about chopping off fingers?" And I said, well, you'd have to try pretty hard to do that, what with the blade guard and all. Unless, of course, you stuck your hand in and turned it on. She said (out loud this time) "you mean like this?" - I turned around and saw her bandaged hand. Shocked, I asked her what the heck happened and she said she was trying to scoop the last bit of pureed food out with her finger and well... (we all know where the ON button is on an immersion blender - probably not the safest position if you think about it...)

oh.my.god. just thinking about it makes me sick. her finger is healing nicely now, but she'll have quite the scar (thankfully she didn't actually lose her finger). her husband teased her about getting discounts on manicures for awhile since she didn't have the full set of ten...

[snowangel]

Lessons learned today:

The blade on an immersion blender does not stop the second you turn off the power.

Blood from an index finger can squirt 4', and yes, blood does stain walls.

It is really hard to type without one's index finger.

I pitched the mayo I was making and realized that Hellman's is much safer.

[Sony]

Lessons learned today:

The blade on an immersion blender does not stop the second you turn off the power.

Blood from an index finger can squirt 4', and yes, blood does stain walls.

It is really hard to type without one's index finger.

I pitched the mayo I was making and realized that Hellman's is much safer.

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Hope you heal quickly....Hellmann's will be good for most anything, especially if it spares a finger!

[Dianabanana]

Lessons learned today:

The blade on an immersion blender does not stop the second you turn off the power.

Blood from an index finger can squirt 4', and yes, blood does stain walls.

It is really hard to type without one's index finger.

I pitched the mayo I was making and realized that Hellman's is much safer.

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I actually prefer Hellman's to bloody homemade for most applications.

Gosh, snowangel, I hope you're all better in no time. Be careful out there!

[Pierogi]

Blood from an index finger can squirt 4', and yes, blood does stain walls.

OWIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!