Embarrassed or bugged by dinner companions

[Bond Girl]

Nero, I have no idea how you put up with it. Someone once set me up with a guy who had all the right qualifications but happens to be a Macrobiotic Vegetarian. I got rid of him after 15 minutes when he told me that the only place he ever ate at was Suens (yuck!) and Angelica's Kitchen (super yuck!).

Having said that, my boy toy thinks I have a food complex because the only thing I eat is seafood (though I make exceptions for foie gras), fruits and veggies. Then again, trying to go out to dinner with him is nearly impossible because most places don't seemed to cook well enough for him.

As for personal pet peeves, nothing bugs me more than dinner companions who are rude to waiters (automatic deal breaker on a date), and those with bad table manners.

[ngatti]

This ones right outta Seinfeld.

Visiting Mom and Dad in FLA when the kids were tykes. Eating a late lunch/early dinner as the seniors are wont to do.

Mom orders the twofer early bird dinner specials for the table. I'm already a little embarrassed...but...okay, when in Rome etc...

Waitress asks if we want drinks. Mom says no, "just water please". Now I'm really puzzled. The clock ticks down to 4 PM and Mom calls the waitress over. "We'll order drinks now." Happy Hour twofers had just started.

Now I didn't know whether to crawl under the table or grab Mom and give her a good shake. What I did say (loudly) was..."Mom, if you ever, EVER, do that again to me, you'll never, EVER see your grandkids again!"

Ah mothers...You've gotta love them. No choice really.

Nick

[wingding]

Last night,we had the bad fortune to be seated next to two really rude women at Jewel Bako in N.Y.Cell phones a twittering,constant demands to the waitress"I need some more wasabi Right Now",and 'fuck' every 4 seconds.This while we're trying to have some kind of rarified dinner.It seems that Sushi restaurants have become the steakhouses for moneyed members of gen. x.Conspicuous consumption and loud behavior rule.

[LEdlund]

I have so many picky eater friends that I don't know where to start.......

There's the one that won't eat celery. I had made tuna salad sandwiches in pita pockets for a picnic party and she took all the tuna salad out of the pita pockets and proceeded to pick every piece of celery out of it before returning the salad to the pita. Leaving a pile of celery bits on her plate.

There's the one that can't order anything as it is listed on the menu. Every dish had to be special ordered...."can I have the veal but with the polenta that comes with the pork and the asparagus that comes with the chicken?" It only got worse when she went on the Atkins diet. And she used to work in a kitchen!

A co-worker of my husbands was complaining that she hated going to dinner with her inlaws because her mother-in-law wouldn't order until she knew what every one else was having. She couldn't understand it. When I mentioned that we do the same thing, so that we are sure to get tastes of lots of different menu selections she was mortified! "I would never taste something anyone else ordered" she says. Then we went to a restaurant with she and her spouse and I found out why. Her spouse had "food allergies" and ordered everything plain, without sauce. She had food dislikes and ordered everything without onions, garlic, "weird" ingredients etc.

Another friend won't eat vegatables except canned green beans. In fact, she really won't eat much except Hamburger Helper kinds of things. For some reason she wants to join my book group which is made up of foodies that work in restaurants. At our meetings we cook food that is represented in the books we read. It should be interesting to see how she deals with those meals.

My grandmother was very old school when it comes to restaurants, low tips, treats people poorly, that sort of thing. She took my cousin and I to a nice seafood restaurant whose chef was the son of a friend of hers. She kept dropping the chefs name and being just generally rude and ornery. They had mussels in a thai curry sauce as an appetizer and my grandmother wanted to order it. I was afraid it would be too spicy for her so I asked the waiter how spicy it was. He replied not spicy at all. Of course it came and it was inedible. You just know he told the kitchen to "kick it up a notch"!

Another friend treats wait people like dirt. We were at a wedding where a friend of mine was working the reception. Wait staff were walking around with trays of satays and after a few minutes my group of friends had accumulated a few used skewers. She motioned for my friend to come over then handed all the used skewers to her. I was so embarrased!

Lauren

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

I have so many picky eater friends that I don't know where to start.......

There's the one that won't eat celery. I had made tuna salad sandwiches in pita pockets for a picnic party and she took all the tuna salad out of the pita pockets and proceeded to pick every piece of celery out of it before returning the salad to the pita. Leaving a pile of celery bits on her plate.

There's the one that can't order anything as it is listed on the menu. Every dish had to be special ordered...."can I have the veal but with the polenta that comes with the pork and the asparagus that comes with the chicken?" It only got worse when she went on the Atkins diet. And she used to work in a kitchen!

A co-worker of my husbands was complaining that she hated going to dinner with her inlaws because her mother-in-law wouldn't order until she knew what every one else was having. She couldn't understand it. When I mentioned that we do the same thing, so that we are sure to get tastes of lots of different menu selections she was mortified! "I would never taste something anyone else ordered" she says. Then we went to a restaurant with she and her spouse and I found out why. Her spouse had "food allergies" and ordered everything plain, without sauce. She had food dislikes and ordered everything without onions, garlic, "weird" ingredients etc.

Another friend won't eat vegatables except canned green beans. In fact, she really won't eat much except Hamburger Helper kinds of things. For some reason she wants to join my book group which is made up of foodies that work in restaurants. At our meetings we cook food that is represented in the books we read. It should be interesting to see how she deals with those meals.

My grandmother was very old school when it comes to restaurants, low tips, treats people poorly, that sort of thing. She took my cousin and I to a nice seafood restaurant whose chef was the son of a friend of hers. She kept dropping the chefs name and being just generally rude and ornery. They had mussels in a thai curry sauce as an appetizer and my grandmother wanted to order it. I was afraid it would be too spicy for her so I asked the waiter how spicy it was. He replied not spicy at all. Of course it came and it was inedible. You just know he told the kitchen to "kick it up a notch"!

Another friend treats wait people like dirt. We were at a wedding where a friend of mine was working the reception. Wait staff were walking around with trays of satays and after a few minutes my group of friends had accumulated a few used skewers. She motioned for my friend to come over then handed all the used skewers to her. I was so embarrased!

Lauren

"Peta pockets for a picnic party" say it ten times fast.

[=Mark]

Spent a weekend awhile ago out of town with another couple, and a single friend.  Whenever we'd settle up our dinner bill, one guy designated himself as the accountant and tallied up the total (including tip) on his damn palm pilot.

We took him at his word, without looking at the check, and antied up.

I found out after two days of this, he was only including a 15% tip--no matter how the service was.

I wanted to go back to all the places we ate and hand them cash.

One of my pet peeves is the folk who insist on going through the check like a tax accountant, itemizing and looking for items that can be "deducted" from the tip.

[GordonCooks]

Tippers who double the tax

People who say "Medium Well"

Hostile vegetarians

People who send wine back because they don't like it

People who change their order after it's been placed

[aliwaks]

I had several dinners (unfortunately) with my fathers ( possibly & sometimes former) girlfriend. And each was a special kind of experience but would at least include one of the following:

At La Campagna she asked if they had any other chairs becuase she had a bad back and didn't think she would feel comfortable in one of theirs, she then asked if the had mashed potatoes ( I must add that she was from Montreal and refused to speak english properly like almost eveyone I met in montreal) when she found out that this Italian restaurant did not have mashed po tah toes she inssted we leave and with a sniff stormed out

At the Gotham she was horrednously drunk & threw an oyster at me then sat on my dates lap & tried to feed him oysters

at Il trulli she slammed the door in my face then proceeded to mention to me how I probably shouldn't be eating what I had ordered becasue it was too much for a girl of my size & I should just order pasta ( BTW I had ordered fire roasted lamb & a salad) and when for brief moment the attention turned from this lunatic she decided we were talking about her because off course we were speaking in english threw back her chair hitting the duece behind us and ran screaming out of the restaurant.

She also favored mantioning to anyone that dessert was only for skinny people and maybe they should re-consider and just have coffee. Her dessert of choice was a bowl of creme anglais .

evil!!!!!!!

at my place I have seen some crazy sh*t . Last week a man ordered a pittsburgh steak medium well and sent ot back 2x till it was dead, a woman spit out the nuts from the bar saying the were too spicy umm she spit them on the floor a man interrupted me while I was desricbing a beer to a total stranger to tell him that it was horrible. Also last week a tremendous amount of people requested veal in fact some came in asked about everydish on the menu then asked if hasd veal I said no they walked out.

kinda hate people some time

[guajolote]

Tippers who double the tax

Tax here is 9% - that seems pretty fair.

[GordonCooks]

Tippers who double the tax

Tax here is 9% - that seems pretty fair.

We're at 8% from a recent 7% - I don't want this to digress into a tip thread - but college years spent bartending and having many a friend in the business have shown

"the difference between a fair and great tip may be 5.00"

[monkeymay]

We had a group of 25 people roll in for an early dinner and a movie last Sat. A predominately older group in their 60's, they had all taken the subway together, and arrived en masse, for a pre-fixe menu we were serving them.They also bought a dozen bottles of Charles Shaw wine, and cracker snacks in big bags from Costco, to enjoy before dinner and the movie started! They were upset to learn we charged a corkage fee(we dropped it from $10 to $7 for them). We provided plates for all their snacks. They drank water when the wine ran out. They tried to order off the menu. They left no tips for the bartender who intitially opened and poured their wine as they stood milling about munching their snacks. None of them were intentionally rude, but I've never seen a group of more restaurant unconscious people ever.

[Double 0]

edit forget it.

Edited April 17, 2003 by Double 0 (log)

[pete ganz]

At the Gotham she was horrednously drunk & threw an oyster at me then sat on my dates lap & tried to feed him oysters

Sorry, but the mental image of that is hilarious.

[Bux]

I'm almost embarrassed to mention it here, but one of the worst embarrassments I've suffered in connection with a dining experience was connected with an eGullet event and it was members of our "community" who were responsible. My wife and I heard a member spit out an abusively vulgar comment that amounted to unsubstantiated character assasination behind the back of the victim, but loudly enough (I was further away from the offensive member) to be sure he heard it. The coven surrounding the speaker seemed to offer support and that included someone who had earlier defended the member whose comment I found offensive, as a giving person. My wife asked that we no longer attend eGullet functions and questioned the hours I spend administrating on this site. Sometimes I've seen the word "community" as hypocritical when used here by some members, but I remind my wife that we've made some wonderful friends both among the members and the affiliates.

[harriet1954]

I'm still OMG @ Nero. I thought I was fussy...I had a "friend" who I'd call "a dinner date". We went basically just to chain restaurants in the area such as Applebee's. The embarrassing thing he did was mechanically order "plain hamburger nothing on it" and "Large Coke No Ice". He would lift the "lid" of the hamburger as if he didn't trust. Every time. Now, I remember doing that when I was just a fussy little girl. But please trust them when you ask for plain that they'll do it.

Once we went to Geets' Diner in Williamstown and he ordered liver and onions and wouldn't eat it because it wasn't the type of liver his mother made. I don't eat liver, so I wouldn't know. And the onion rings had to be "a certain way". Which way, I don't know, because I don't eat them.

It's embarrassing to me when they order and don't eat it.

I think the weirdest is when they overtip, embarrassingly so. We had "eh" service one place and he left like a $10 tip, I'm like "for WHAT?" "She was nice", he said. She was forgetful and it was hot summer and I think I had to wait like 20 minutes for my iced tea.

I'm glad my husband-to-be acts normal in public places LMAO. Oh! I forgot! He doesn't like Italian food or pizza. *shrugs* I'm on Weight Watchers anyway...

[Bond Girl]

never mind

Edited April 24, 2003 by Bond Girl (log)

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

Okay, try this one.  I recently had a college friend visit from san francisco who belongs to the all natural hippy sort of crowd.  Anyway, she believes  that the proper way to raise a child is to tote the kid every where she goes.  That would have been okay if her kid is reasonably behaved.  But unfortunately, she also believes that in the children's  "formative years", they should be allowed to freely epress themselves. 

So there we are in a fine dining establishmentin the upper east side- an experience that she would not deny her child-with a 14 month old baby who was flinging cheerios across the room and screeching at the top of her lungs.  To make things worse, during the middle of dinner, the brat decided that it was time for her to feed, so the entire dining room had the pleasure of witnessing my friend breast feed her child.

somehow, I'm beginning to understand some of these rules restaurants have.

tree huggers are people too....

[Bond Girl]

never mind. Just had a complaint.

Edited April 24, 2003 by Bond Girl (log)

[KateW]

I think it's less embarrassing to check the burger than it would be to bite into something unwanted and have to spit it or or worse lol...

And I never trust restaurants. Just like you (or at least I do) subconciously check to see if the steak is done to order, I think checking under the bun is just habit. I usually don't specify 'plain hamburger' because of the risk of not getting it that way but when I get the burger I usually take off whatever I don't want. It varies and is usually too complicated to tell to the server anyway...(I want onions but only about half as much as you usually put on, and a tomato, but only if it is nice and red, and lettuce if it is not brown...)...it's just easier to see what I get and go from there.

What's embarrassing about ordering a plain burger anyway? Sometimes that's just what I want. And you get more soda if you don't get ice.

[bigbear]

..... Whenever we'd settle up our dinner bill, one guy designated himself as the accountant and tallied up the total (including tip) on his damn palm pilot.

We took him at his word, without looking at the check, and antied up.

I found out after two days of this, he was only including a 15% tip--no matter how the service was.

.....

Years ago, we had one of these "helpful" guys at work. When a bunch of us went out to lunch together, he would divide the tab and tip by one less than the number in the party, giving himself a free ride. Then he'd pocket the cash and put it on his credit card. Come tax time, he would deduct it as a business expense. I don't remember how we found out, but we did. He didn't get a beating, but he was very lonely after that.

[NeroW]

I have a friend here in the city that is always broke as hell, and I end up buying a lot of meals for him, just because I like to go out to eat--no matter where it is--and I enjoy his company.

But He. Never. Eats. Never! He eats the pickle, or the lettuce, or part of the fries. And my etiquette (don't laugh) prevents me from slapping his face every time he orders food I KNOW he won't eat.

What's wrong with him?

He does, however, eat every bite when I cook for him at home.

[Laughing Goddess]

Ooh, I have one to add to this. My ex's mom use to steal from restaurants -- glasses, mostly, and sometimes ashtrays too. Once, when she tripped as we were leaving (with me seething behind her), a waiter said, "Oh, don't let her fall -- she'll bleed to death." She kept walking, but didn't return the glassware hidden in her coat -- and then later confessed to being embarrassed.

And she also thought her husband tipped too much, so she'd wait till we all left the resturant, then went back in saying that she had to go to the bathroom and would take money off the table. I caught her at it.

She also claimed there was no difference between margarine and butter and thought I was a snob because I don't eat margarine.

Glad I got rid of that BF and his evil mom.

[hjshorter]

And she also thought her husband tipped too much, so she'd wait till we all left the resturant, then went back in saying that she had to go to the bathroom and would take money off the table.  I caught her at it.

That's evil.

It's the reverse of what I have to do with my grandma. With her I have to sneak back in to put more money on the table.

[malachi]

Working in the business I used to work in I had to do a whole lot of business dinners with folks. While many of these people were nice, polite people who often had excellent taste -- when you eat out with people who are not your friends on average 4 nights a week for almost 5 years....

My favorites:

Boulevard in the early days. Executive from Oracle. First asked the waiter if he could turn the music down as it was making it hard to hear the person he was talking to on his cell phone. Ignored his app while talking. Finally became frustrated by the noise and went outside. I finished my app and waited. And waited. Finally he came back in, took one bite of his app and said "this is cold!" Had the waiter take it back. They brought it back. He ate it. I waited. They poured wine. He took another call and, again, went outside. I waited. And waited. He came back in and said "I'm sorry - I've got to make some calls. Don't worry - I'll pick up the check and expense it." He then asked for his entree to go. I got an email from him the next day commenting that he thought the restaurant was over-priced and over-hyped.

An OK place in San Mateo (don't remember the name). Really nice guy from a venture fund and his wife. She began drinking on arrival. Talked so insistently and loudly that it was impossible for the two of us to have a conversation. Continued to drink. Spilled two glasses of wine (one on the table, one off of it). Began making vulgar (and often racist) jokes in a loud voice. Eventually (near the end of the meal) started talking incessently about how cute our waiter was - culminating in her asking him if he was gay and then trying to stuff a 20 dollar bill in his pants.

A business contact I had to endure at least 20 meals with over 2 years who would endlessly quiz the waiter about every item on the menu and then ask if the chef could do a plain egg white omelet. Restaurants where this occurred ranged from One Market at lunch to Jardinierre at dinner to (most memorably) Delfina.

Jean-Georges in NYC. The most miserable meal of my life. Fabulous food - wonderful wine. The first time I'd been to Jean-Georges. Wasted. Such a tragedy. The man I ate it with (no company, no clues, god forbid he ever remember me) was a NYC private equity "star." I've never met anyone as rude. For example, he lit up a cigar before (yes before) dinner and when asked to put it out started yelling at the waiter and physically (yes physically) threatened him. He put about 2 tablespoons of salt on each dish before tasting it. He talked through large sections of the wine list with the sommellier -- his only questions were "what did you pay for it?" and "what would it cost me at Zachy's?" Pretty much every other word out of his mouth when he spoke to the waiter was "f*ck." At the end of the meal he went over the entire bill line by line and asked the waiter to explain each item to him. When done (but while the waiter was still in ear-shot) he said to me, "ya gotta fuckin' do this ya know -- they're all jews after all." On my way back to my hotel I called room service and had them pour me a nice scotch and leave it in my room. I took a 30 minute shower and then lay in bed with the covers over my head.

[Eric_Malson]

Although not nearly as over-the-top as Nero's ex, I was once involved with someone who had reached the age of 32 NEVER having eaten a green bean (didn't like the look of them) or a baked potato (french fries only), among many other food phobias. That lasted WAY longer than it should have....

This didn't happen to me, but it might as well have, because I could imagine it so vividly. I once met someone who, upon finding out what I did for a living, asked me if I knew someone in the same field named "x". When I said I did, I was treated to the following story: New Acquaintance had recently had dinner in a quiet, intimate restaurant and was seated at a neighboing table to "x". Knowing his name was virtually unavoidable because "x" has a very loud, theatrical mode of speaking....modulating his voice simply never occurs to him. Nor does modulating his topics of conversation--although a dear person in many ways, "x" has no inner censor and loves to talk, in highly graphic terms, about his favorite sexual practices and anatomical preferences, no matter what the situation (I normally find this quite amusing, but I don't think I'd want to dine in a quiet restaurant with him). It was really quite funny to hear "x" described so accurately by someone who had, technically, never met him. New Acquaintance's dinner companions were not amused, however....one of them, on leaving, said to "x", dripping with sarcasm, "So nice dining with you--let's do it again sometime."

"X" even told me himself once that a man (as I recall, not at a neighboring table, but several tables over) in a restaurant once said to him, "You're not only embarrassing my wife, you're embarrassing ME!"

Edited June 21, 2003 by Eric_Malson (log)