Why You Should Never Take the Last Piece of Food

[Rachel Lindy]

Hi everyone-

 

I'm a food writer, and I'm currently researching the idea that you should never take the last piece of food on a plate without asking while dining with others. I've seen instances of this in a wide range of cultures, from Filipino to Dutch, and it's occasionally referred to as the "piece of shame," or the"decency piece."

 

I'm really interested in hearing some personal anecdotes from people who've experienced this. Please comment below if you have any stories to share!

 

-Rachel 

[gfweb]

You snooze you lose.

 

" You take it...no you take it...oh I couldn't...lets split it"

 

Barf

[AlaMoi]

since I cook, and I strive for no left overs . . .

the shame here is leaving the last piece . . .

[Katie Meadow]

Taking the last piece or portion without asking if anyone else wants it is just plain rude. An option to split it is then a nice thing to do. I recently made Gazpacho for part of a lunch spread for four people. I thought I had made an ample amount. Little did I know my BIL eats very fast. He served himself seconds, which amounted to all that was left, before anyone finished their first bowl. I just find that really irritating, and I'm not generally a stickler for perfect table manners.

 

If you ask, your host should let everyone know there's more in the kitchen, if that's the case. 

[JeanneCake]

This can open up so many different avenues - is it a cultural norm that diners wait until invited by the host to help themselves to a second (or the last) serving; or do you announce your intention to have more after you've finished your first plateful, or do you say to hell with it and eat however much you want, not indicating your intent to take the last bit?  Or is it manners that (at least those in the US) should have been taught as children what the societal norms are that govern genteel behavior around a dinner table (at home, at a restaurant, at someone else's home).

 

It makes me think of the parties my parents had when I was a child; there was SO MUCH FOOD! My mom didn't have to cook for a week after those epic parties and I carried on that tradition.  We hosted an Open House the Sunday before Christmas and it was open invitation so I had enough food for 200, just in case   So running out of food, and having a "last  piece" wasn't a thing in our house (Sadly we stopped having the Open House parties when I opened the bakery.  I still do cook far too much food if we have guests though.)

[Maison Rustique]

My former husband came from a large family of mostly boys. The first time I was invited there for dinner, he told me, "If you see food on a platter you want, you better grab it fast because it goes fast." They did not know what leftovers were.

 

We used to have a calendar with Dave Barry "Sniglets" (funny made up words). The one that always stuck with us and I use it to this day was Pig Slice: the last piece of pizza that everyone secretly wants but no one wants to seem piggy by taking.

[Tropicalsenior]

When I was growing up, it was a well-known fact that whoever took the last piece of food or the last piece of candy would never marry. Growing up in a family of all girls, there was always at least one piece left for my mother.

[Rachel Lindy]

@Tropicalsenior Interesting! Did you grow up in Costa Rica? 

[Tropicalsenior]

No, I grew up on a farm in Nebraska where old wives tales and local folklore run rampant.

[Katie Meadow]

1 hour ago, Maison Rustique said:

My former husband came from a large family of mostly boys. The first time I was invited there for dinner, he told me, "If you see food on a platter you want, you better grab it fast because it goes fast." They did not know what leftovers were.

 

We used to have a calendar with Dave Barry "Sniglets" (funny made up words). The one that always stuck with us and I use it to this day was Pig Slice: the last piece of pizza that everyone secretly wants but no one wants to seem piggy by taking.

My husband's siblings are two boys and one girl. They all developed a habit of appearing not to be piggy by leaving a tiny half-portion of food in the box or bag or the fridge. My husband does it to this day. He swears that he just too full and  "couldn't eat" that last few bites. His parents learned to cut the dessert pie into six equal pieces to shut down the squabbling.

[Tropicalsenior]

I had four daughters and my solution to this was to take turns cutting whatever it was and the person that cut was the last person to take their portion. They soon learn to cut equal portions.

[TdeV]

2 hours ago, Tropicalsenior said:

When I was growing up, it was a well-known fact that whoever took the last piece of food or the last piece of candy would never marry. Growing up in a family of all girls, there was always at least one piece left for my mother.

 

No doubt folklore started by your mother. 😜

[KennethT]

4 hours ago, Tropicalsenior said:

No, I grew up on a farm in Nebraska where old wives tales and local folklore run rampant.

No old wives tales or local folklore in Costa Rica? 

[Tropicalsenior]

20 minutes ago, KennethT said:

No old wives tales or local folklore in Costa Rica? 

Oh, they have hundreds of them. You wouldn't believe the crazy things they believe. I could write a whole book. But nothing about leaving food on the plate. When they get done there's not even a grain of rice to fight over.

[pastrygirl]

Not my personal experience, but isn't it the case in some cultures that taking the last bit of food is considered insulting to the host because it suggests they didn't provide enough?

[liuzhou]

1 hour ago, pastrygirl said:

Not my personal experience, but isn't it the case in some cultures that taking the last bit of food is considered insulting to the host because it suggests they didn't provide enough?

 

Yes, it is certainly the case here in China. In fact, many people prepare too much food deliberately to avoid such a major loss of face, especially when entertaining guests. The wastage in restaurants is also notorious, mainly due to over ordering for the same reason.

 

 

[Margaret Pilgrim]

On 8/14/2024 at 7:39 AM, Tropicalsenior said:

I had four daughters and my solution to this was to take turns cutting whatever it was and the person that cut was the last person to take their portion. They soon learn to cut equal portions.

In our family, it was one person cut, the other person had the choice of portion.   Same effect.

[Katie Meadow]

23 hours ago, liuzhou said:

 

Yes, it is certainly the case here in China. In fact, many people prepare too much food deliberately to avoid such a major loss of face, especially when entertaining guests. The wastage in restaurants is also notorious, mainly due to over ordering for the same reason.

 

 

It's an awful feeling to run out of a dish when people are wanting seconds, so I like the idea of making ample amounts and hoping for leftovers. As for restaurants in China, do diners not ask for a takeaway bag if there's extra food on the table?

[rotuts]

In College , going into town to the Pizzeria 

 

for an Extralarge 

 

we developed the same technique :

 

He Who Cut , got the last slice .

 

worked , but there was a time limit :  

 

if you took too long to cut  , you got no slice at all

 

worked better . One room mate took forever analyzing.

[Margaret Pilgrim]

28 minutes ago, rotuts said:

In College , going into town to the Pizzeria 

 

for an Extralarge 

 

we developed the same technique :

 

He Who Cut , got the last slice .

 

worked , but there was a time limit :  

 

if you took too long to cut  , you got no slice at all

 

worked better . One room mate took forever analyzing.

Sounds normal.

[liuzhou]

3 hours ago, Katie Meadow said:

As for restaurants in China, do diners not ask for a takeaway bag if there's extra food on the table?

 

Yes, many do, but they tend to be among private or family groups. Until quite recently, most restaurant meals were business or, more often, government funded "official" functions where over ordering and extravagance were routine. Then asking for takeaway was very rare.

 

A few years ago Xi Jinping, the current President, limited the number of courses to be served and banned the more expensive dishes favouted by the Party elite. Although that has had an effect, it still goes on to an extent, just less ostentatiously.

 

 

Edited August 15 by liuzhou (log)