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I will never again . . . (Part 2)


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oh man i've been there so many times...

strained the chef's beautiful glossy rabbit demi, put it in the sink, surrounded it with ice, turned on the water...and walk away. then, after realizing that i've just made a sinkful of very very thin rabbit soup, try to put it all in several stock pots to try to reduce back to the original demi while the chef is out...busted.

try to explain proper cutting technique to the dishwasher at 6am, hungover, no coffee, and start slicing while looking at him to make sure he understands..."ok, you slice carefully, like this...see? slice, slice, sli--aaahhhh!" lemme tell ya, e-room nurses think they're really funny when it comes to the odd amputee...

make a loverly mac and cheese for family meal, carefully stirring in the cheese over a double boiler so it's velvety smooth, using the last of the smoked chicken, mushrooms, etc. then, because i forgot to cook the pasta, it cools. then, sous chef strains cooked pasta (cuz i'm busy) and cools it for me. ok, no prob, drop it into the thinnest-bottomed pot we have (why?!)plop it on the back burner, uh-oh, here come the tickets...twenty minutes later, oh sh*t, pull it off the stove--it's hot, sure enough...and perfumed throughout with that overpowering aromatic biterness that comes from carbonized dairy...

try to be cool and eyeball everything (back in culinary school) so as to go super fast when baking...i'm a cook, right? i can tell a teaspoon without measuring right?

nope... :blink:

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Having just done this 15 minutes ago, let me tell youall, this is stoopid to the nth. I started out this morning simmering out a fat hen a friend gave me last weekend. We had it with dressing last night. I want the stock for my Tucky Day bird. I am gonna make enchiladas tonight.

I started this ole gal in a Copperclad pot that normally fits a good fat hen (which she was), and simmering, simmering, simmering...go to look at it, and there's a leg sticking up, where she had tried making some dash to freedom, I reckon. Taking my trusty wooden spoon in hand, I PUSH DOWN on said leg, and voila, broth bath!! Thank goodness I jumped back. I still got a decent sploosh of broth all over me. Believe me kiddos, do not try this one---it sucks. :sad:

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...think, "Hey I just chopped these Habaneros sans gloves and now my eyes are itchy..." Only did it once though. I feel a lot better reading this thread. But I will NEVER...

...ever think I can use a hand mixer instead of a ricer/masher to prepare potatoes for gnocchi again. Everything seemed fine at first until I cranked up the speed... :wacko: The potatoes were thick enough to put up wallpaper, lay bricks, concrete my driveway...:laugh:

Despite that I mixed the egg yolk and flour into that sticky mess anyway and rolled some heavy-duty gnocchi that my SO was brave enough to try despite it all and say(lie?) that they weren't too bad. :wub: I think the tasty mushroom butter sauce that topped that gnocchi had more to do with that.

...and back to garden-variety brain cramps, I turned my head when julienning carrots with my grandfather's freshly sharpened knife and uncurled my pinky JUST enough mid-chop. :blink: It was thankfully a small cut but who knew so much blood could flow from such a small wound?

(edited for clarity)

Edited by Thumper (log)
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I will never again look away from the mandoline while julienning squash and cut my thumbnail right in half.

Mandolines are great for making digit carpaccio.

I sliced the nuckle of my right thumb almost clean off. The circular bit of cartilege and flesh was hanging by a thread, so I slapped it back into place and wrapped it up tight. It healed pretty well, and now I just have a circular scar to remind me not to do it again.

I'm pretty sure I will anyway, though.

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Cut finer while chopping habeneros...instinct is to put pressure on wound...used other finger to apply pressure...BUT...forgot to remove glove...finger stung down to my knees....did remove tears with kleenex tho....

Mark

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The cook at the Mexican restaurant down the road from my home often has a cloth, that looks like a "flour sack" kitchen towel tied around his left upper arm. I am in there often because I have a deal with them, they save their coffee grounds for me (I provide the containers) which I use in my compost and worm composters.

Anyway, I finally asked him about the cloth tied around his left biceps. He said that it was so he could wipe his face and his eyes on the towel without getting his hands anywhere near his face when he had been chopping peppers and onions. They fix some pretty spicy foods so it makes sense. A simple solution for a burning problem!!!

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

 

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Mandolines are great for making digit carpaccio.

You know, I'd heard this on here a few times, and couldn't quite figure out how it happened. Apparently, I have a really "non-standard" mandoline design. I wandered into a Macy's at one point and asked if they had any, without knowing what it actually looked like. The one I bought is built into a "lid" that sits on a matching bowl with little feet on it so it doesn't slide. It's also got a huge handle for holding food that I use at least at the halfway point :smile: . So far, so good.

Then I saw my mother-in-law's mandoline, and understood all the injured fingers...I'm afraid of hers! :laugh:

Oh, and I should add my own "never again". Peel my fingernail instead of whatever food I'm peeling. Although, I'm sure it'll happen again :wacko:

Edited by Allura (log)

Joanna G. Hurley

"Civilization means food and literature all round." -Aldous Huxley

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What was that about streaks again...? Having enjoyed a nice long spell without burning myself at all, last month I managed to burn myself twice not two days apart.

1 - When leaning in to get the sheet pan out of the 425 deg oven, I touched my forearm to the side of the pan when I foolishly attempted to simultaneously lift out my pan (from the opposite side) and block my curious dog from sticking her head in the oven or tapping the pan with her nose to find out what that neat thing is. Needless to say, my arm did not appreciate being touched to both the rolled edge and the underside of the sheet pan. Two long welts later...and I'm wishing I had known about the lavender oil. (Anyone know of a cure for burn scars?)

2 - The next evening, putting another sheet pan into the oven, saying to myself (just in case), "do not fold your arm around the pan, do not shoo the dog away", I failed to remember not to curl my fingers under the bottom of the pan while making sure it gets all the way in. It will be fine if it is just a little over...which lesson I remembered after my knuckles had been pressed firmly against the preheated oven rack.

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Whilst browsing, this very instant, my chicken stock nearly boiled away as I didnt adjust the gas flame, this is the third time in an hour.

Just a moment, i must check my very emulsified stock.............. :biggrin:

Martial.2,500 Years ago:

If pale beans bubble for you in a red earthenware pot, you can often decline the dinners of sumptuous hosts.

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How about this? I reached in the oven for a saute pan and burned my arm on the bottem rack and then promptly jerked up and burned my arm on the top rack. 2 for the price of 1.

I fall for this one all the time. I keep my tongs in my back pocket from time to time. Well I will pull something outa the fryer and then wipe them off but forget that they are still rocket hot. I have done that dance more than once.

R.I.P.

Johnny Ramone

1948-2004

www.RAMONES.com

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I swear I will never wear a bandaid on a finger without wearing a glove or finger cot secured with cement because when I realized the bandaid wasn't there anymore I had just finished plating 75 salads and had to look under every leaf to find the disgusting thing before a guest did. Or my boss. Not finding it does not mean it IS NOT THERE until it is found, which I did 20 minutes later on the floor. Dodged that bullet.

Second thing while I'm thinking about it. I will never run the disposal in a client's kitchen while on a job without checking inside first because I once crushed a monogrammed silver spoon (not silverplate mind you) that belonged to the family for 200 years and had to frantically try to pound it back into shape with a cast iron skillet WITHOUT attracting too much attention.

And one more thing. I will never boil 13 dozen eggs purchased the day before because they are too fresh and the shells don't peel easily or at all and you end up with 156 mangled pitted eggs that you have to throw out (I mean, how many can you eat or even give away?).

OK, I feel better. It's good to confess.

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How about this? I reached in the oven for a saute pan and burned my arm on the bottem rack and then promptly jerked up and burned my arm on the top rack. 2 for the price of 1.

I fall for this one all the time. I keep my tongs in my back pocket from time to time. Well I will pull something outa the fryer and then wipe them off but forget that they are still rocket hot. I have done that dance more than once.

:laugh::laugh: Oh, that first one is me all right, except it was a sheet full of cookies. Not only did I burn myself twice, but cookes went flying all over the kitchen.

The tongs, now, that's a new one. Thanks for a great picture! :laugh:

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
HosteG Forumsnsmith@egstaff.org

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)

"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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Cup a bread roll in my left hand while sawing away at it with a dull serrated knife with my right hand. I know better. I KNOW BETTER. Yet my middle finger has a band-aid because not only did I hit flesh, I kept sawing for a second.

Rachel Sincere
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From long ago....

I will never again place a fist-sized hunk of chocolate in my right hand, a paring knife in my left, and twist firmly the paring knife into the chocolate, dislodging a hefy chunk of the tasty treat and impaling my palm simultaneously.

Chris Amirault

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

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How about this? I reached in the oven for a saute pan and burned my arm on the bottem rack and then promptly jerked up and burned my arm on the top rack. 2 for the price of 1.

:laugh::laugh: Oh, that first one is me all right, except it was a sheet full of cookies. Not only did I burn myself twice, but cookes went flying all over the kitchen.

The tongs, now, that's a new one. Thanks for a great picture! :laugh:

Have you seen the new thing made of Nomex that you snap over the leading edge of the upper oven rack. A great idea. I have the long cuff Nomex gloves from England, (much better than the 'Ove' glove.

My oven is very deep and sometimes I have to reach far inside to turn a pan that is on a sheet pan and have bumped the back of my wrist against the rails on the sides of the oven.

I was Ms. Stripey for a few days until I got the gauntlets.

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

 

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Cup a bread roll in my left hand while sawing away at it with a dull serrated knife with my right hand.  I know better.  I KNOW BETTER.  Yet my middle finger has a band-aid because not only did I hit flesh, I kept sawing for a second.

Oh, yes, I share your pain, I still have a nice big scar on my left index finger from where the stitches were. The doctor sewing me up was kind enough to show me the nerve (at the bottom of the gash) that I had *just* missed.

Serrated knives work really well on human flesh :sad: .

Marcia.

Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted...he lived happily ever after. -- Willy Wonka

eGullet foodblog

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I will never again put somethng in my freezer without a label, thinking that THIS time I will surely remember what it was and when I put it there.

This is after I wanted stewed red caabage for dinner, only to find out that the red stuff that I had pulled out of the freezer and was thawing in the fridge, was in fact beetrootsoup and not red cabbage.

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Who amongst us has not applied the knife 'IQ Test" while attempting to carve or otherwise use those really stinkin' hard pumpkins, squash,etc. One word of advice: do not attempt if your children are there and decide to give your patience a workout.

Those who are well-fielded in field injuries of this ilk are known to develop the sneaky practice of carving Mr. Jacko Lantern when home alone.

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i will never again lovingly roll out 60 half-moon samosa wrappers stacking them proudly as i go. the little bastards stick together (no, really?) and i ended up having to re-roll 90% of them. just what i had time for.

from overheard in new york:

Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!

Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!

--6 Train

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I will never again put somethng in my freezer without a label, thinking that THIS time I will surely remember what it was and when I put it there.

This is after I wanted stewed red caabage for dinner, only to find out that the red stuff that I had pulled out of the freezer and was thawing in the fridge, was in fact beetrootsoup and not red cabbage.

I was making a pilaf one night for dinner and dumped in a container of frozen chicken stock, since I hadn't thought to thaw it out ahead. I usually freeze that stuff in containers of various sizes so I'll have a selection, and it's rarely labeled because the contents are obvious. This was a yogurt cup. "Funny," I thought, "I don't remember this stuff being so yellow when I made it." When it was far too late, I realized I'd dumped in 2/3 c. worth of Meyer lemon juice.

Can you say "pilaf pucker power"?

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
HosteG Forumsnsmith@egstaff.org

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)

"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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...I will never again put somethng in my freezer without a label, thinking that THIS time I will surely remember what it was and when I put it there...

One of these days I think I might try making THAT for dinner. Whatever THAT is that I forgot to label and now have no idea what it is. I'm sure it can't be that bad... right? I mean... there had to be some reason I kept it...

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I know better. I knew better even as I was doing it! But I did it anyway and now I am minus my favorite Sabatier chef's knive! It snapped as I used it (oh so gently) to pry apart two slightly frozen racks of spare ribs. We're talking an inch off the tip. :sad::sad::sad:

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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