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Food Funnies


Keith_W

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I apologize, this would be funnier with a photograph.  Today I received a shipment from one of my favorite vendors, nuts.com.  In addition to the free bag of cashews, there was a mysterious inflated plastic bag taking up space in the shipping box.  The label reads "Invisible Peanuts, ingredients: air".  It broke me up.

 

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Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

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17 hours ago, Shelby said:

This would be the best. thing. ever.  I would NEVER get out of bed.  I'd need two, though.....one for white wine.....maybe three....one for riesling......   NO four...another for ice wine during summer.

How about just doing two sets of bunk beds - one for Mt. Dew?

17 hours ago, Tropicalsenior said:

Uh-huh, my late husband was as deaf as a post until I tried opening something like this or a potato chip bag late at night.

My great grandfather lived with my grandmother and she used to say you could shout directly in his ear and he'd never hear you, but go into the kitchen at one in the morning and open the refrigerator and he'd be looking over your shoulder in a second.  

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Thread drift:  A man confided to the family doctor that he feared that his wife was losing her hearing as she never answered him.    The doctor suggested that he approach his wife from behind,  standing 20 feet away, and ask her a question.    If no answer, move 5 feet closer and repeat.   So the guy goes home, walks to the kitchen door and asks, "What's for dinner, Honey?'    No answer.   So he tries again at 15 feet.   No answer.    Again at 10 feet.   Nothing.    Finally, at 5 feet, she wheels around and blurts, "Good grief!   For the 4th time, we're having meatloaf!"

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eGullet member #80.

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350283874_922929315453051_4498669321176730563_n.jpg.bf344c543d81202b28dfcb809629c209.jpg

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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1 minute ago, Tropicalsenior said:

We need more emojis. We just haven't got anything adequate to answer this.

To tell the truth, I can't imagine what an appropriate emoji might be.

 

ETA: ...though my current earworm is now one of Jerry Lee Lewis' biggest hits...

Edited by chromedome (log)
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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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8 hours ago, liuzhou said:

349165230_777668150464674_6251859323140558937_n.jpg.c59959b236ee36a9a9754af627c6723b.jpg

 

 

OK, I know there's a lot of unwarranted and overheated concern about GMOs, but this one, I dunno. ^_^

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"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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350651922_274837948282943_8409633246257300434_n.jpg.c5512c6ebb3dbe77f8064556ff06db9e.jpg

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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FxnIUrjXgAA5xNE.jpeg.6a20ba29f0149a9a32f6ff9e89d469fe.jpeg

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Of the hundreds of recipes we published in 2022, one dominated our comment section. Our readers have quite a sense of humor. https://nyti.ms/3qn3tyF
 
351478304_195401540129326_5737024552786120435_n.thumb.jpg.93e43c948251d310ac0aa803548b9935.jpg
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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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My daughter sent me this one (c/o the "Dubious Restaurant Design" office):

352591654_534424845555263_434973587571053584_n.thumb.jpg.406623748c7fb14d627cecac0bc75cc2.jpg

 

Edited by chromedome (log)
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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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From NerdSnacks, this week's Meme of the Week: 

 

image.thumb.png.2fce40e56b133f9a855789c87f965ac5.png

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"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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True story:   Was in a small family owned discount grocery.     In the canned soup area, I came across Blue Buffalo Chicken Dinner.    The ubiquitous TV commercial came to mind and I read the label.   Yup.    One of the kids putting out stock came by and I quietly handed him a can and told him, 'This is dog food."    "No, it's people food.  It says Chicken Dinner right here."     "Yes, and HERE it says premium dog food."    "THANK YOU!".  he replied, as he moved the stock to the pet food area.   

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eGullet member #80.

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My local Ralphs has an aisle facing freezer with the glass doors filled with enticing chubs of .......pet food. To the right frozen seafood, to the left sweets. Wonder how many senirs have had a dinner surprise.. 

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A local butcher whose meat and personality I didn't much like used to sell one pound blocks of frozen pet food, aka odd bits.    I used to buy 10 pounds or so at a time from him, and nothing else.    He always eyed my robust, rosy cheeked toddler with a wink and nod, and I'm sure he believed that that was what I fed the child.   

 

Our sheepdog adored the stuff, which I mixed with kibble.    But it stank to high heaven when being cooked up.   If we were entertaining, I had to cook it early in the day in order for the barf-inducing scent to dissipate.

Edited by Margaret Pilgrim (log)
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eGullet member #80.

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355113456_10167760160865324_3192779845680036928_n.jpg.90672720ebab6c424707fdbfbc8fb906.jpg

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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354553502_280741987944985_7226112975651998705_n.jpg.a95f2322637a2d245aa106da020e11ab.jpg

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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