Guests' involvement: your entertainment style?

[Gifted Gourmet]

#1 I prefer to be the only one in the kitchen ... my guests should remain away from the kitchen itself

#2 I prefer to have my guests help me in the kitchen for the meal preparation

#3 I prefer that my guests assist in the cleanup process after the meal is over

#4 I prefer to think guests need not be involved in the cooking or cleanup whatsoever .. they are my guests!

[Megan Blocker]

#1  I prefer to be the only one in the kitchen ...  my guests should remain away from the kitchen itself

#2  I prefer to have my guests help me in the kitchen for the meal preparation

#3  I prefer that my guests assist in the cleanup process after the meal is over

#4  I prefer to think guests need not be involved in the cooking or cleanup whatsoever .. they are my guests!

←

Option #4 for me, GG! Although, I do love having a friend in the kitchen, chatting with me while I cook or clean up. Not working, just sipping something yummy, and preferably alcoholic.

[Fresser]

Mark me down as #3.

I always wander into the kitchen to help clean up after the party. A guest that helps clean up is a guest that gets invited back.

[Megan Blocker]

Mark me down as #3.

I always wander into the kitchen to help clean up after the party.  A guest that helps clean up is a guest that gets invited back.  

←

I always help clean up...but I can't bring myself to let people do it in my house. I'm too much of a control freak, I think.

That, plus, I don't have a dishwasher, so you need to be good at handwashing to really help me out, and it's amazing how many people just aren't. Clearing the table is cool, though.

Edited September 20, 2005 by Megan Blocker (log)

[fifi]

Good topic. But, I am split on this one. It depends upon the guests.

I have some friends that I like to cook with. My kids fall into that category. Oddly enough, my son more than my daughter. He is quite a good cook. She is still learning at 35. I also have friends that I cook with in a recipe development mode and that is a whole different thing. We always clean up together.

Then, I have some friends that I wouldn't want in the kitchen. Not because they are a problem but because, when I cook for them, it is a special occasion. I want them to sit at the side, sip wine, converse and wait to "be served." I wouldn't dream of having them help with clean up.

[*Deborah*]

I'm a kind of mix...I am not known for my knife skills (rectifying that though!) so if I'm making something fairly impromptu and/or casual, I will ask for help with the chopping, especially if my guest is good at it.

When it's a "dinner party," though, I prefer to have almost everything prepared and/or prepped ahead of time, and the kitchen as close to clean as possible by the time dinner is ready, so that the á la minute work is minimal, and guests have nothing to do but relax and eat and drink.

Afterwards, I don't mind if a guest clears the table, but that's about it. Unless it's a close friend who feels like scrubbing my pots or something. Again, depending on the formality of the occasion. I tend to clean up in the morning after a late night, so I don't drop all my dishes or anything. They're not going anywhere. I'd rather just turn my back on the open kitchen and ignore it for the time being.

I have to add that I hate other people loading my dishwasher!! what a weird thing to get cranky about, but there it is. Creature of habit.

[Busboy]

Half the time we don't have dinner ready on time, and the other half of the time we just tell people to come over and hang out while we cook, so we always have people in the kitchen. It can be a bit of a mobs scene, especially if the kids and their frioends are coming through. I just put 'em to work as appropriate: some can chop, some can open wine, and everyone can haul stuff to the table.

[hjshorter]

It depends. If they know their ass from their elbow in the kitchen there is usually something to do. If not, they can hang and talk and drink wine, but stay out of the way.

We never clean up after dinner - we always drink and talk until much too late. And since the kitchen fairies never bother to show up to clean overnight, we deal with the aftermath in the morning.

[Cleo]

I like having guests hang out in the kitchen, but I don't want help. Particularly in cleaning up. It actually makes me nervous and agitated when people start helping and bringing tons of plates and food into the kitchen. Maybe because I live in an apartment and have a relatively small kitchen.

[FabulousFoodBabe]

Most of the time, people want to do something instead of just standing around watching me work. It makes me feel more at home in others' homes, too, if I am asked to do something. So, we write jobs on slips of paper folded up in a basket, and have people draw their jobs for the night; everything from "clear salad plates," to "set out coffee cups."

The only hard and fast rule I have is, NO cleaning the kitchen! If I don't have cleanup help, I bar people from the kitchen after dinner. These are my guests and I don't ever let them do dirty work, or sit and wait for me to be done loading the dishwasher.

[petite tête de chou]

If my guests show an interest in helping with the food prep or clean-up so be it. But, honestly, I prefer to do both alone. But, they ARE my guests so their wish is my command.

[EricaL]

If my husband and I are hosting a dinner party, he cooks [i don't cook] and there is some lovely hired help setting up, serving and cleaning up, so I can enjoy my guests and my guests can enjoy themselves.

Erica

[GordonCooks]

All guests are allowed in the kitchen to observe or feed me wine. Dishwashing is appreciated though

[Megan Blocker]

I have to add that I hate other people loading my dishwasher!! what a weird thing to get cranky about, but there it is. Creature of habit.

←

This is SO common. I have a friend whose mother will not let us load the dishwasher when we visit, even if she isn't there eating with us. Weird!

Edited September 20, 2005 by Megan Blocker (log)

[lesfen]

I guess I would have to say #4 but only because it's been worded as a preference. I would prefer for my guests to be just that... it just doesn't work out that way. I usually bite off more than I can chew and need a little help. I like it when my mom comes up because she doesn't try to interfere with my cooking, but she is constantly clearing and cleaning. I LOVE that! Now when I go to her house she puts me to work. She can't chop to save her life so I spend most of the day bent over a cutting board. Either way, as long as the conversation is lively and everyone gets fed, I'm ok with it.

[joey madison]

Mark me down for #3. Because my kitchen is basically the size of a broom closet, it gets awfully tight if two people are cooking. Forget three. It is functional for one person washing and one person drying for clean up... and I hate dishes... so, if someone offers to help clean up, I'll definately take them up on it.

I do often cook in friends' kitchens; kitchens that are significantly larger. In those cases, I like to have on-lookers with whom to chat, especially if they can handle the odd simple kitchen task everyone once in a blue moon.

But, in a phrase, I guess I prefer to be master of my domain.

[Curlz]

Mark me down as #3.

I always wander into the kitchen to help clean up after the party.  A guest that helps clean up is a guest that gets invited back. 

←

Exactly what he said--on both counts!

'though I don't mind people in the kitchen when I'm cooking--as long as they stay out of my way, I like the company most of the time. And that's not about being a control freak (at least I don't think so) so much as I'm in my cooking mode and know what I want to do, when and how. Friends are still always amazed at how I can time a huge meal so well and everything comes out hot. It's all in the planning, kids...

I'm also sans dishwasher, so I'm really grateful when friends refuse to let me wash dishes. One caveat: no clean-up shall ever interrupt FUN, wine-drinking or general regaling with my guests!

[TPO]

I'll pick #3. I like to do the cooking alone, although I don't object to someone offering to bring things to the table or making sure everyone has drinks. I also like it when someone chats with me in the kitchen while I am working so that I don't miss out on all of the conversation. As for cleanup, I clear the table and put away leftovers and appreciate any help with that. I generally don't do dishes until after the guests leave. Of course I can't do this if they are overnight guests; in that case it's great if they want to help.

[Anna N]

#1 - there is simply no room in my kitchen for more than one and I get fumble-fingered when I am being watched! Though my dream is to one day have one of those kitchens you see in the ads where the kitchen is HUGE and the guests are fully involved and cooking in their glamorous cocktails clothes - no that's not a dream, it's a dumb fantasy. I'd still want them out of my kitchen.

[MicBacchus]

For me, it depends on who is the 'guest'. For real guests, I'd prefer that they stay out -------- and let me prepare what I have planned, get it plated, and served the way I want. I was raised by a mom who wanted her plate heated so the food stayed hot - a fine idea, but that needs coordination - and I guess that paved the way that food should be served a certain way.

On the other hand, after dinner with family, my SIL is awesome - he'll clear the table, load the dishwasher, and wash what can't/shouldn't go into it. He's invited ANYTIME

Edited September 20, 2005 by MicBacchus (log)

[Jaymes]

I'm with whomever it was that said that they enjoy having guests swing through the kitchen during the cooking to chat and visit, but NOT to help. If I want help making the dinner, when they ask, "What can I bring?" I'll assign them something.

And no matter what, do not, absolutely do not, help me with the cleanup. Do not grab my crystal glasses and clang the rims together. Do not stack my plates. Especially do not stack my plates with the forks still on them. Do not grind up my sterling flatware in my garbage disposal. Do not put my leftovers into whichever containers you think they should go. Do not load my dishwasher with my good china and my good knives and whatever else you think is dishwasher safe and force me to take them back out in front of you and then you get your feelings hurt.

Just sit down and relax and be a guest. Be funny and witty and charming. Entertain my other guests and enjoy their company. That's why I've invited you here. I can clean tonight after you've left, or in the morning.

When well-meaning folk jump right up and say, "We can get this done in no time," I respond, "Oh no, that's all right. Let me do it. After all, I don't plan to help you when I come to your place!" (Although in truth, I do always offer, of course. And often that hostess, unlike me, is happy for the assistance.)

Call me a control freak. I don't care. I don't want help.

Edited September 21, 2005 by Jaymes (log)

[cherimoya]

I prefer #4. I don't mind helping when I go to someone else's house, but when I have guests over I want them to just relax and do nothing else. Also, when they do offer to help, it takes more time to train the guest to do what needs to be done than to do it myself. I also worry about them distracting me from my last minute preparations (e.g. forgetting to add an ingredient). OK, or maybe I am just a control freak.

[purplewiz]

I'm somewhere between #1 and #3. When I'm cooking, I need people to stay out of the way because a lot of my kitchen movements are reflexive now, and when people get in the way I get all discombobulated. Fortunately, our kitchen is kind of divided in two, so there's a place for guests to sit and have a drink out of the way if they want to chat while I'm finishing up.

I never ask guests to help with clean up, but if they want to help carry dishes in from the dining room, I don't mind. I just tell them where to pile them and leave them so we can all go talk in the family room over coffee and spirits. The only clean up I do while guests are around is stuff that can't wait, like food that needs to be popped back in the refrigerator. Dishwashing and trash removal can wait - why waste guest time on stuff like that?

Marcia.

[BarbaraY]

I have to add that I hate other people loading my dishwasher!! what a weird thing to get cranky about, but there it is. Creature of habit.

←

This is SO common. I have a friend whose mother will not let us load the dishwasher when we visit, even if she isn't there eating with us. Weird!

←

That's because nobody else loads the dishwasher right.

Every day I rearrange mine because my daughter loads it wrong.

[BarbaraY]

I like having guests hang out in the kitchen, but I don't want help.  Particularly in cleaning up.  It actually makes me nervous and agitated when people start helping and bringing tons of plates and food into the kitchen.  Maybe because I live in an apartment and have a relatively small kitchen.

←

It's OK for people to hang out so long as they stay out of my way or actually help. My daughters and my sister are fine because we know how to work as a team.