Crimes Against Food

[Mabelline]

I too hate to be cautioned that a dish is HOT and then find it pallid, at best. Some of us do quite well with heat, thank you, but it's usually more about flavor.

[elfin]

FAKE FRIED ONION RINGS-RATHER THAN A NICE RING FROM A REAL ONION, THE IMPOSTER IS A GOOEY-GREASY ONION MASH COATED IN A SOGGY BREADING.

[s'kat]

The low carb-ing of foods that are rightfully meant to be full of them.

I saw an ad the other day for new low-carb cookies. Maybe if you are on a low-carb diet, you should just stay away from the cookies in the first place.

Low-carb pizza dough...

Low-carb bread...

Low-carb wraps...

[Big Bunny]

I too hate to be cautioned that a dish is HOT and then find it pallid, at best. Some of us do quite well with heat, thank you, but it's usually more about flavor.

Or the opposite.

Some places will add "heat" to a bland dish to satisfy a customer. But the pepper, or whatever, is tacked on at the end, not cooked into the dish in stages as it should be.

BB

[Stone]

Bagels aren't rolls. They shouldn't look, feel or taste like them.

And they shouldn't have pesto, sundried tomato, blueberry, curry, wait ... let's make this simple: sesame, poppyseed, onion, garlic, salt, pumpernickel. THAT'S IT.

[andiesenji]

Sugar in cornbread!

Thank you for saying that!

It is one of my pet peeves. The stuff they serve that is light and fluffy, cake-like and sweet is not real corn bread. It wouldn't hold together when dunked into bean soup, which is the criteria by which I measure cornbread.

And it isn't baked in a cast iron skillet.

Good corn meal is sweet enough on its own - heck there is enough sugar in it to make alcohol so there is no reason to add more.

One of my clubs meets at Marie Callendars and they all think the "cornbread" is lovely. Blech!

[FistFullaRoux]

Bagels aren't rolls. They shouldn't look, feel or taste like them.

And they shouldn't have pesto, sundried tomato, blueberry, curry, wait ... let's make this simple: sesame, poppyseed, onion, garlic, salt, pumpernickel. THAT'S IT.

I'm quite fond of a raisin bagel, done correctly. But I agree with you on your list.

[Pan]

Further to Stone's post:

I also think egg and "everything" bagels are admissible, but not those monstrosities you mention.

[middydd]

Ruin a half decent dessert by squirting on whipped "creme".

[Stone]

Further to Stone's post:

I also think egg and "everything" bagels are admissible, but not those monstrosities you mention.

I can live with that.

(But I can't live with Chickpea taking over St. Marks Pizza. )

[Chef Shogun]

• Excessive cilantro.
  
• Grilled food that tastes like breakfast food, when you get there just after breakfast service ends. I'm looking at you, Lindy's. Your breakfast rocks, your lunch rocks, but my Robert should not taste like pancakes and eggs.
  
• Small bread in backstage luncheon meat platters.
  
• Burnt garlic. Burnt peppers, esp dried pepper flakes.
  
• Burnt coffee.
  
• Well. Done. Meat.
  
• Use of low-flavor veggies as filler. See: loads of cabbage in stir-fry and rice dishes. Don't go too nuts on the beans in a burrito, either, especially if it's not a 'bean burrito'.
  
• Things you can't chew. Stringy bits in meat, overcooked squid.
  

[Mulcahy]

Refrigerated tomatoes.

Amen.

[NulloModo]

Hmmm... I used to love sundried tomato bagels. Then again, I am hardly a purist when it comes to anything...

[ninadora]

Bagels aren't rolls. They shouldn't look, feel or taste like them.

And they shouldn't have pesto, sundried tomato, blueberry, curry, wait ... let's make this simple: sesame, poppyseed, onion, garlic, salt, pumpernickel. THAT'S IT.

i have to step aside here and say, fan of tradition that i am-- sunflower seed bagels are really a "good thing".

and curry? oy.

[cakewalk]

Bagels aren't rolls.  They shouldn't look, feel or taste like them.

And they shouldn't have pesto, sundried tomato, blueberry, curry, wait ... let's make this simple:  sesame, poppyseed, onion, garlic, salt, pumpernickel.  THAT'S IT.

i have to step aside here and say, fan of tradition that i am-- sunflower seed bagels are really a "good thing".

and curry? oy.

The first time I saw blueberry bagels I couldn't believe my eyes, really, I thought it was a joke. And now you mention sunflower seed bagels? And curry bagels? Those are new ones for me. Where do they sell these things?

[andiesenji]

There is a bagel shop on Imperial in Brea, Orange County, Calif. that advertises 47 varieties of bagels plus a dozen bialy varieties.

I refuse to go in the place when I visit friends nearby. Invariably I will be behind someone in line who can't decide on what "flavors" they want.

Idiots..

[fifi]

Sugar in cornbread!

Thank you for saying that!

It is one of my pet peeves. The stuff they serve that is light and fluffy, cake-like and sweet is not real corn bread. It wouldn't hold together when dunked into bean soup, which is the criteria by which I measure cornbread.

And it isn't baked in a cast iron skillet.

Good corn meal is sweet enough on its own - heck there is enough sugar in it to make alcohol so there is no reason to add more.

One of my clubs meets at Marie Callendars and they all think the "cornbread" is lovely. Blech!

Yes... Yes... Yes...

Some of that other stuff may be legitimate if called corn cake, but not cornbread.

[Bond Girl]

The low carb-ing of foods that are rightfully meant to be full of them.

I saw an ad the other day for new low-carb cookies. Maybe if you are on a low-carb diet, you should just stay away from the cookies in the first place.

Low-carb pizza dough...

Low-carb bread...

Low-carb wraps...

The low carb thing really makes me nuts! The other thing is redi-whip, how hard can it be to whip up some cream or make some creme friche.

[JerzyMade]

There is a bagel shop on Imperial in Brea, Orange County, Calif. that advertises 47 varieties of bagels plus a dozen bialy varieties.

I refuse to go in the place when I visit friends nearby. Invariably I will be behind someone in line who can't decide on what "flavors" they want.

Idiots..

That is actually a pretty decent bagel shop. At least, it was the last time I checked. I lived about 2 miles from this place.

I'm pretty open to some "experimental" bagels, like sun dried tomato, perhaps even curry. But blueberry? Yuck!

[Samhill]

Starbucks coffee (not the espresso), and greasy hashbrowns.

I'm easy.

[lesfen]

Rock hard, cold butter.

Lettuce in guacamole.

[Bond Girl]

Flavorless tomato sauce.

[andiesenji]

That is actually a pretty decent bagel shop. At least, it was the last time I checked. I lived about 2 miles from this place.

I'm pretty open to some "experimental" bagels, like sun dried tomato, perhaps even curry. But blueberry? Yuck!

Their bagels are at least authentic, not the fluffy ersats bagels that are the main offerings at grocery stores.

But who could possibly take a chocolate chip/cranberry bagel seriously. An onion, o.k. not bad, even one with a cheese coat on top, but some are just too, too trendy for me.

Years ago I knew the guys who owned the Brooklyn Bagel Bakery in downtown L.A.

I lived in Burbank at the time and it wasn't too much of a trip to drive down and pick up a bag full. They were real bagels and the best I have had outside of NYC. They used to pull some for me before they were completely baked so I could freeze them, then thaw and finish baking. Almost as good as fresh.

Western bagel bakery used to put out a decent product, when they had only the one bakery on Sepulveda in Van Nuys and sold their product to small vendors. Once they expanded and diversified and began distributing to supermarkets the product went downhill.

I and Joy Bagels in the west valley also put out a pretty good product a few years back. They moved and I don't know if they are still in business.

[NulloModo]

Forgive the ignorance here, but what is up with the mystique surrounding bagels?

Isn't a bagel just a particular type of dough twisted into a doughnut shape? How is a bagel different from a loaf of bread, a doughnut, or a roll? No one flinches about cinnamon toast, raisin bread, or muffins loaded with all manner of things, so why can't bagels be expanded in the same way?

[chefboy2160]

After reading this thread I feel I should offer you some cheese and crackers to go with all the whine I have just read.