Jump to content

  • Welcome to the eG Forums, a service of the eGullet Society for Culinary Arts & Letters. The Society is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of the culinary arts. These advertising-free forums are provided free of charge through donations from Society members. Anyone may read the forums, but to post you must create a free account.

No! No! No! Stop it! The bad ideas topic!

liuzhou

By liuzhou
in Food Traditions & Culture

 Share

Recommended Posts

JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, liuzhou said:

 

Here you go (from the Spanish as translated by me):

 

Ingredients: Cooked rice (68%), vegetables (12%) (red pepper, peas, onion and tomato), seafood (10%) (squid (mollusk), mussel, shrimps), sunflower oil, natural flavors (fish and shellfish), salt and saffron extract.
 

 

 

So actually some saffron?

 

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

Link to comment
Share on other sites
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted
6 minutes ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

 

So actually some saffron?

 

 

The Spanish reads ""extracto de azafrán", which means "extract of saffron", as I said. What extract of saffron is, I don't know.

  • Delicious 1

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted (edited)

OK. I succumbed. I'm not having my reputation maligned by a bunch of iconoclastic, irreverent Spaniards or Basques. I bought the damned stuff.

 

Opening the outer wrapper revealed this

 

box.thumb.jpg.9bebdcec29a870621f5a6707185e2cb5.jpg

 

Ploughing on, I found this.

 

contents.thumb.jpg.eb5e69d78c25e1c5bff43f22449a8b21.jpg

 

Tipped the lot into a plate and put it in the microwave. They suggest 2 mins on high in an 800W oven. My microwave is only 400W, so I tried with three minutes.

Time up, I found this

 

dish.thumb.jpg.9e719998b7cae638ce2688734762bcff.jpg

 

Tragic. It was mush. Bland, unseasoned, evil mush. No sign of the promised squid or shrimp; just a very few tiny mussels, and of course, it looked nothing like the package illustration.


illus.jpg.f7e199a256bb7647633ed2705ccbe150.jpg

 

USD $4.44 down the toilet!

 

Repugnante y horrible!

Edited by liuzhou (log)
  • Like 2
  • Thanks 3
  • Haha 3
  • Confused 1
  • Sad 2

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

We appreciate the sacrifice you've made to gratify the nosiness morbid curiosity spirit of pure scientific inquiry in a group of far-off strangers. :)

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, liuzhou said:

USD $4.44 down the toilet!

All I can say is that it was only money down the toilet. Might have been quite different had you made a meal of it. :laugh:

  • Haha 5

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted
5 minutes ago, Anna N said:

All I can say is that it was only money down the toilet. Might have been quite different had you made a meal of it. :laugh:

 

Still could be!

I did eat it.  I wouldn't call it a meal though. Barely a starter. Barely food. Shame really, I love Spanish food.

Still, I've done my good deed for the month, taking one for the team and  preventing some poor unsuspecting Chinese person thinking this is actually anything like paella or anything else Spanish.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

I did eat it.

Oh! That is really carrying things a bit far! Can only admire your altruism.  

  • Haha 5

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted
12 minutes ago, DesertTinker said:

And your thriftiness, especially after reading this “It was mush. Bland, unseasoned, evil mush.”

 

All in the interest of scientific research!

  • Like 1
  • Haha 5

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted (edited)

I just think this is weird.

 

But first, I admire how, in Chinese dinner parties at home (or in a restaurant), no one thinks twice if offered a store-bought dish along with home cooked. This was a friend's food a few days ago. She has given her permission for me to post it here.

239090131__20210726033309.thumb.jpg.a143ab626380f546d5a670e61b3be887.jpg

 

I could make out that plastic box contains what I took to be salmon, some slices of lemon and what appears to be mayonnaise, but to be sure I asked her. She sent me the ingredients label, which fortunately she still had.

 

1687282802__20210726164946.thumb.jpg.b28391f23bac2684021513c8e86d3e03.jpg

 

This lists the ingredients as: Atlantic salmon, butter, mayonnnaise, garlic, vegetable oil, Moravian cheese, salt, lemon and spices.

 

This is odd in itself. Moravianan cheese, I'm taking to be Olomoucké tvarůžky, the soft cheese from Loštice, Moravia, in the Czech Republic, rather than the Italian-sounding Gran Moravia, the hard cheese, also made in the Czech Republic, but using traditional Italian methods. But who knows? Not my friend.

But what really spooks me is that it comes with clear instructions on how to cook the dish:

Home oven:  Bake for 8-10 minutes at 200℃; or pan fry on a low heat for about 3 minutes.

Yet, there it is on the table, clearly uncooked. Of course, I asked my friend.

"Oh! I didn't notice that! I thought it tasted a bit strange, but just guessed that is what foreign food is meant to taste like!"
 

Full marks for being adventurous, zero for reading her own language.

P.S. She teaches Chinese language in a high school!

Edited by liuzhou (log)
  • Like 1
  • Haha 12

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 7/16/2021 at 9:41 PM, liuzhou said:

extracto de azafrán

Having lived in a Latin country for 30 years I can tell you that  azafrán does not really mean anything. It may say it is saffron and you may think it is saffron but it is just something that gives it the color. It may be turmeric, it may be achiote or even just yellow food coloring. But ninety-nine times out of a hundred, it's not saffron.

I just got out my box of Goya with azafrán and the ingredient list has Mexican azafrán on it. Here is what Reddit says about that.

 

It's safflower, not saffron.

Safflower is known as “Mexican saffron” or azafran. Aside from the fact that it comes from a completely different plant, another difference is that the petals are the part of this plant that are used and not the stigmas. Safflower has commonly been passed off as saffron as it has a similar ability to color food along with a pleasant, distinctive flavor."

One commenter on Chowhound said it all. "If it's cheap it's not saffron"

Edited by Tropicalsenior (log)
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted
9 hours ago, Tropicalsenior said:

Having lived in a Latin country for 30 years I can tell you that  azafrán does not really mean anything. It may say it is saffron and you may think it is saffron but it is just something that gives it the color. It may be turmeric, it may be achiote or even just yellow food coloring. But ninety-nine times out of a hundred, it's not saffron.

I just got out my box of Goya with azafrán and the ingredient list has Mexican azafrán on it. Here is what Reddit says about that.

 

It's safflower, not saffron.

Safflower is known as “Mexican saffron” or azafran. Aside from the fact that it comes from a completely different plant, another difference is that the petals are the part of this plant that are used and not the stigmas. Safflower has commonly been passed off as saffron as it has a similar ability to color food along with a pleasant, distinctive flavor."

One commenter on Chowhound said it all. "If it's cheap it's not saffron"

 

Yes, Thanks. I am aware that a lot of 'saffron' isn't saffron. Some time back I was given a gift of 'Thai' spices which included 'saffron' and 'saffran'. One was saffron, the other was probably safflower.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wait. Wot

Wait. Wot

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Tropicalsenior said:

Why don't we have a disgusting emoji?

 

🤯

I give up trying to move that emoji. 

Edited by Wait. Wot
Added text to quote block which really shouldn't be allowed. (log)
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

Sheep Dip, on the other hand is rather good. 

 

OIP-C.jpg.c74893ca5ec61823ec75051f39be97f9.jpg

The makers of this have obviously never been around real sheep dip. It's one of the more disgusting things in the world. It is right up there with a mouthwash that my old dentist gave me. He said it tasted like hog piss. Not being an authority on the taste of hog piss I couldn't verify this but it certainly smelled like the real article.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, Tropicalsenior said:

The makers of this have obviously never been around real sheep dip.

 

Actually, it was invented by a farmer, although now belongs to a large whisky group. 

 

See here for the history.

Edited by liuzhou (log)
  • Like 1

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted
52 minutes ago, Wait. Wot said:

This is wrong on so many levels:

sheep-dog-bottle-shot-min.thumb.png.dddd19a0fa3fc5d5f05865810914a1d6.png

Presumably so the Reese's fans can mix it with creme de cacao? Or maybe just chocolate milk?

  • Haha 3

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, liuzhou said:

Actually, it was invented by a farmer,

The article said that he was a gentleman farmer. Obviously he didn't do the dipping himself. However, the story of being able to run it through their books without paying the taxes was amusing. Hence, the whole reason for the name.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted

How about peanut butter mixed with sheep dip? What could possibly go wrong?Here.

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted

This morning I passed by a local branch of Starbucks and saw this sign outside.

 

starbucks.thumb.jpg.e9a86f93acebe2671847d281e3c8acb5.jpg

 

Starbucks Cloud™ Beer Flavored Latte⁈ What is wrong with them⁈

 

No doubt served with these.

  • Haha 3
  • Confused 1
  • Sad 1

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...