I will never again . . . (Part 3)

[eJulia]

Liamsaunt:

I don't think I know one person who has a mandoline that hasn't sacrificed some part of a finger - they just scare me to death!

Fortunately my sacrifice of a finger tip (complete with a good portion of finger nail) was not witnessed by a seven-year-old!

Seriously, though, I don't mean to make light of you pain - ouch!

[Teri Everitt]

I hesitate to post this because it may be too far out there even for this thread, but here goes:

I will never again take hot carmelized sugar and, while swirling it in the flan dish, notice a lump and investigate with my finger.  That way I won't have to worry about the fact that my immediate reaction is to try to put said finger in my mouth.  Because I now know (like I couldn't figure this out before?!?) that I will have a blister on both my finger AND my lip.

Yeah, never again.

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Ellen C

Any pastry chef will tell you that the worst part of a caramel burn is waiting calmly for the caramel to harden so you can pick it off your skin, rather than risk smearing the caramel and increasing the size of the burn. If it's any consolation.........that's the kind of thing you really will never do again.

[Marlene]

I hesitate to post this because it may be too far out there even for this thread, but here goes:

I will never again take hot carmelized sugar and, while swirling it in the flan dish, notice a lump and investigate with my finger.  That way I won't have to worry about the fact that my immediate reaction is to try to put said finger in my mouth.  Because I now know (like I couldn't figure this out before?!?) that I will have a blister on both my finger AND my lip.

Yeah, never again.

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I've done this. The second time, I figured ok, I'm smart enough not to test the carmel with my finger, so I tried to lick the carmel off the spoon. Duh. Ouch.

[pansophia]

I will never again stick a marshmallow on a fork, use the fork to toast said marshmallow over a low flame on the gas range, get the marshmallow off the fork, and then stick the fork in my mouth to lick off the last of the goo.

Strange how hot a fork over an open flame can get. Whoda thunk it? I just really craved toasted marshmallow!!

No serious burn but my lips felt funny for days. Granted, there are probably a whole lot of "never agains" in that above statement!

[I_call_the_duck]

I will never again stick a marshmallow on a fork, use the fork to toast said marshmallow over a low flame on the gas range, get the marshmallow off the fork, and then stick the fork in my mouth to lick off the last of the goo.

Strange how hot a fork over an open flame can get.  Whoda thunk it?  I just really craved toasted marshmallow!!

No serious burn but my lips felt funny for days.  Granted, there are probably a whole lot of "never agains" in that above statement!

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I did that once with a steak knife and a little piece of undercooked steak. I figured that the wooden handle would stay cool, but I forgot about the metal part.

[jefferyc]

I will never again use pure soy sauce mixed with pure fish sauce as a base for General Tso's chicken. It was so salty it seemed to suck every bit of moisture out of your body. On the plus side my fiance said it helped water weight gains for a day.

[McDuff]

I will never again stick my finger into a canning jar full of brown speckled granular material, taste it, wonder what it is, keep tasting it, ask my wife to taste it, and then realize it's the curing salt mix from Charcuterie, laced with sodium nitrite. Labels, honey, labels.

[ChryZ]

I was looking for some Tempura Donburi pictures, so I searched for Tendon via google's image search ... and got rewarded with a page full of medical surgery imagary, I'm not really good with stuff like that and feel a bit sick now

[andiesenji]

Yesterday, I was using the french fry attachment on my trusty mandoline to make sweet potato fries.  Because the sweet potatoes were too large to use the hand guard as it was intended, I had the "brilliant" idea to use the guard as a pusher, guiding the sweet potato along the blades while steadying it with my other hand.  7 year old nephew, observing, states: "I do not think you are using that correctly."  Two swipes of the sweet potato later, my hand slips, and jams into the blade.  I am now missing a sweet potato fry sized chunk of the tip of my thumb.  Nephew's response to the kitchen carnage: a big sigh, a  roll of the eyes, and an "I TOLD you that you were not using that correctly!"

And, after all that, the stupid fries did not even crisp up properly. 

←

Perhaps cutting the potatoes in half would solve the problem?

I have a rotary cutter that cuts sweet potatoes (or whatever) into long skinny strands and it will not hold one of the large, long, sweet potatoes so I always have to cut them in half, crosswise.

For French fries on the mandoline, I cut them in half or for the really large ones, in quarters, so they will fit on the mandoline.

The trick to crisp sweet potato fries is some preparation.

Cut the fries and put them straight into very cold SALTED water - figure a teaspoon for each quart of water (a rounded teaspoon if using kosher salt). Soak them for 30 minutes, drain and wrap in a towel or in several thicknesses of paper towels, you want them as dry as possible.

Your fat must be at least 375 degrees F.

Place fries in the fryer basket, no more than 3 inches deep.

Lower into oil and time - cook for 3 minutes, drain on brown paper bags, allow to cool completely.

Bring oil temp up to 385 degrees F.

Place pre-cooked fries in basket, same as before, not too deep.

Lower into fat and fry until they turn slightly brownish at the edges.

Again, drain on brown paper bags. If you drain them on paper towels they will get soggy but the brown paper will absorb the fat without gathering moisture from the air.

[snowangel]

A damp potholder conducts heat very well.

A cut finger that's healing can bust open and spew blood all over.

[Kerry Beal]

I will never again juice key limes in my Acme juicer without safety glasses. Juice jumps!!! Eyes don't jump away fast enough.

[ulterior epicure]

... make another fruit smoothie in a blender assuming that it is clean, when, in fact, someone else in the household who is notorious for "rinsing"-instead-of-properly-washing-and-scrubbing-vigorously-with-detergent has made a vinaigrette with two heads of garlic... garlic-infused raspberry smoothie, anyone?

u.e.

Edited April 23, 2006 by ulterior epicure (log)

[CoffeeMike]

(First post!)

Oh, this has been fun.

The first goof-up that came to mind? My first time at chicken and dumplings. Great stew, made up a batch of dumpling dough and spooned the dumplings over the stew.

Nobody told me that the dumplings would expand.

Ten minutes or so later I had a pot that had almost sealed itself shut with expanding dough, save for a few geyser-like openings for the simmering stew to try and vent.

The best advice I've had yet in cooking was from my mother, whom I called while trying to rescue an attempt at another chicken dish. To quote:

"Relax - there's the trash can, there's the front door, there's the McDonald's. Now, let's see what we can do to fix this."

-- Mike

[S_tran]

"Relax - there's the trash can, there's the front door, there's the McDonald's.  Now, let's see what we can do to fix this."

-- Mike

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I love that line lol

[ErinM]

I will never again think it's a bright idea to stab the avocado pit with a fork to pull out of the avocado half. Doing so will instead send the pit THROUGH the avocado, along with said fork. This will result in attractive fork marks along one's palm, which as of a week and a half later, are still there.

Yep, I'll stick with a spoon next time I attempt this. Much more foolproof.

[rooftop1000]

I will never again think it's a bright idea to stab the avocado pit with a fork to pull out of the avocado half.  Doing so will instead send the pit THROUGH the avocado, along with said fork.  This will result in attractive fork marks along one's palm, which as of a week and a half later, are still there.

Yep, I'll stick with a spoon next time I attempt this.  Much more foolproof.

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See, I thought it was Avocado in left hand chef knife in right - then smack pit with chef knife

Tracey

[racheld]

Yep, I'll stick with a spoon next time I attempt this.  Much more foolproof.

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The spoon thing makes removal of that luscious soft greenness from the shell much easier.

But the neatest way to remove the pit is to hold the half with the pit flat in one hand and give a careful little swing of your sharp knife down upon it, embedding the edge of the blade (NOT NOT NOT the point) into the pit with a little "smick."

A gentle twist, a knock of the knife handle on the edge of the garbage can, and the pit is gone.

(Forktines in palm---NOOOOOOOO)

And Welcome, Mike. We've all lifted a potlid and been shocked by the contents' condition...perfectly innocent ingredients just mutiny sometimes, and who knows what they get up to in there in the dark. Your Mom's wit and wisdom is priceless---what a life lesson, as well as a kitchen mantra.

[Marmish]

Here's a new twist on an old favorite. I took the skillet out of the oven, carefully placing an oven mitt over the handle so the handle is "wearing" the mitt. But, I didn't use the Oxo silicone mitt thingy, I used the cloth one with a fuzzy inside. Said fuzzy inside is now melted onto the handle.

[Genny]

I hesitate to post this because it may be too far out there even for this thread, but here goes:

I will never again take hot carmelized sugar and, while swirling it in the flan dish, notice a lump and investigate with my finger.  That way I won't have to worry about the fact that my immediate reaction is to try to put said finger in my mouth.  Because I now know (like I couldn't figure this out before?!?) that I will have a blister on both my finger AND my lip.

Yeah, never again.

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Oh Ellen, dear. I understand completely and feel your pain!!!! Poor thing.

[Scargo]

Occasionally I forget and peer into the oven just as soon as I have opened the door.....

Sometimes I wonder why I still have hair on my face or can see!

I use peppers a lot and, after all these years, I still manage to have a fiery nostril, eye or worse. I have had heat on my dried-out fingers last for days....

[glennbech]

... For a moment believe that a loaf of bread can be baked in a container not treated with oil or butter. When trying to get it out of the pan, it got torn in two halves. Top half with crust came of, and bottom half stayed in the pan :-)

[racheld]

Not ANYWHERE on the level of a lost pot of stock, mind you, but I HAD been outside cleaning the kitchen windows, so maybe it's suitable for this thread.

I came in, brushes and towels and phone and big newly-filled spray bottle of Windex in hand. Macaw, spying bottle, immediately began mentioning "shower" in as many inflections or dialects as he knows. His shower is always of as-hot-as-it-can-get-from-the-tap, so as not to blast him with a cold spray, and besides, by the time it goes through the mister part, it's a perfect warm temp.

So, I turned on the faucet in "his" kitchen, unscrewed the spray top, dumped the bottle, and just as he was chuckling, "shower---getcha arms up!" for the umpteenth time and the steam was beginning to rise from the sink, I watched the last of my quart of Windex gurgle down the drain

Happy, drippy bird.

[jefferyc]

Try getting intimate with the one you love in this situation. I was cut off for a MONTH!!!!

DOH!!

I hope I will never again...

touch my hands to my face while or directly after working with peppers. It's very rare that I make that mistake, actually, but it's certainly not pleasant.

Oh! Another! I will never again stand directly over a pan while cooking with many hot peppers and pastes made of peppers. I've only done that twice before, but each time was a good lesson.

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[purplewiz]

Graters work wonderfully on limes for zesting.

They also work equally as wonderfully on thumb knuckles.

That makes three major owies for the week. Tomorrow night we're going out for dinner.

Marcia.

[Cook456]

....never will I make espresso with my Moka Pot and forget to put the top down.

My ceiling is now " espresso"

OOPS!