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I will never again . . . (Part 2)


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Just before I add a scrambled egg to my Hot n Sour soup, I thicken it with some starch. This time I grabbed the other yellow box in the pantry. Arm n Hammer.

Can you guess what happened? :rolleyes:

Why do I see a miniature version of the old washing machine overflowing with suds gag? Now you have to tell us how long it took you to clean up the mess. :laugh:

The "industrial strength vampire repellent" got me as well. :laugh:

Thanks for my daily GulleyLaugh you guys.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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tried to make stuffed peppers that I saw in some show

they had asked for nicely charred peppers with tons of cheese ( they were making rellenos). not enough cheese, not enough charring and a lot of crushed black pepper later - 3 lbs of stuffed peppers went into the garbage bin - all nicely stuffed and cooked.

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  • 1 month later...

put something in the toaster at work WITHOUT FIRST checking the darkness level.

i had made a blue cheese buffalo burger yesterday for lunch and had toasted the bun. went to do the same thing today and it seems the director, who has a passion for well browned bread, must have made some yesterdayafter me. i set the fire alarm off and cleared the whole library and recreation department out into the rain.... i'm so ashamed...

Nothing is better than frying in lard.

Nothing.  Do not quote me on this.

 

Linda Ellerbee

Take Big Bites

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This is thankfully *not* my personal story, but one of a former housemate. He was going to cook a big pot of beans one evening, and decided to give them the quick-boil-turn-of-heat-then-cover treatment before heading out to Discovery Park for the day with his friends. (For those of you who know Seattle geography, he lived in Capitol Hill...)

So he turned on the stove, which was electric, and as things hadn't gotten boiling or even making stove noises yet, and they were in a bit of a rush to get going, he forgot about it.

About 3 hours later, as they were hiking back up from the seashore, someone mentioned dinner, the mental connection was re-established. He shouted, "THE BEEEEAAAAANNNSSS!!!!" and started running to get home. It's several miles away from Capitol Hill, he was on foot, and there didn't seem to be any buses coming any time soon, so he hoofed it. Luckily he was a bicycle courier (too bad they had gone by bus) and had the stamina. About 45 minutes later, as he came around the corner, out of breath, he saw a plume of smoke coming out of the kitchen window, a fire truck in front of the house, and a fireman coming out the front door, carrying the the sides but not the bottom of the large stock pot in which he'd "started" (and quite efficiently finished) the beans. Trying to be nonchalant, he went up to the house and said "so, what happened?" The fireman answered, "ah, some asshole put on a pot of something and left the house." "Wow, what an idiot" said John, and walked on by trying to become as invisible as possible.

Now one would think a lesson like that would preclude a repeat performance...but actually the reason he told me this story in the first place was that he had just forgotten one of my heavy-walled aluminum pots on the electric stove at the house, and come in to find [what was left of] it melted/fused to [what was left of] the burner.

In keeping with the topic, I hope he will "never again," but mostly I'm just happy we are no longer housemates... :)

"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

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My roommate in college put water on the stove to boil potatoes. She turned on stove, left for class, and returned TWO HOURS LATER to our townhouse with every single window & door open, fans blowing and black, acrid, putrid smoke billowing everywhere.

In the midst of the smoke was me, in my pajamas, melted pot in hand. I was asleep upstairs until I was woken up by choking and the smoke alarm going off. She thought that it would take 2 hours for her 1 quart of water to boil. We never again let her near the stove.

My "never agains," unfortunately, keep happening to me. Don't take hot pan out of oven, close oven, then touch hot pan without mitts. Don't get distracted and grate knuckles with microplane. Don't dump ingredients into a bowl and lose count on the fifth ingredient. Use a separate bowl!

"Was that the fourth or fifth cup of flour I just added?"

However, I will always end up with oil burns and oven burns on my ribs, because I just can't stand cooking with sleeves and shirts on. Kitchen is waaaay too hot for me to cook in more than a sports bra and shorts! Even in the winter! (Ok, so winters here are 70-80 degrees, but still...)

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Don't handle hot peppers seeding, peeling etc (about thirty of them) barehanded and then go to the bathroom and pee. Don't do that.

Edited by ned (log)

You shouldn't eat grouse and woodcock, venison, a quail and dove pate, abalone and oysters, caviar, calf sweetbreads, kidneys, liver, and ducks all during the same week with several cases of wine. That's a health tip.

Jim Harrison from "Off to the Side"

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My husband learned two important lessons this Christmas, cooking dinner for my parents at their place.

1. Do not chop onions in front of the fan that is blowing straight at you.

and if that wasn't lesson enough, shortly thereafter:

2. Do not use the pepper grinder in front of the fan that is blowing straight at you.

As we were leaving, my mom remarked, "Wow, we went through two boxes of Kleenex tonight."

d.

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Clean up spilled water, grease, or food peelings as soon as possible ....

Always watch food being heated .. I tend to get distracted and then everything bubbles over my glass stovetop ... :sad:

After cooking, make sure all of your stovetop knobs are turned completely off. :hmmm:

Wash and dry knives and put them away immediately.... never ever leave knives to soak in soapy water!

Melissa Goodman aka "Gifted Gourmet"

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Always watch food being heated .. I tend to get distracted and then everything bubbles over my glass stovetop ...

(end quote\)

I thought that was one of the selling points of the glass cooktop, that it was easy to clean? (ducks the flying wooden spoon flung by G. G.) :laugh:

"Commit random acts of senseless kindness"

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I thought that was one of the selling points of the glass cooktop, that it was easy to clean? (ducks the flying wooden spoon flung by G. G.) :laugh:

Here to report that blackened carbonized sugar boiling over is a nightmare no matter what the stovetop! :angry:

Melissa Goodman aka "Gifted Gourmet"

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Don't store the bag of bread (or any plastic bag) on top of the toaster oven.

Be very careful using that brand new, very sharp mezzaluna (she says six stitches later).

Never use a knife with wet hands.

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If you inadvertently turn on a different gas burner than you intended at the same moment that someone else drops plastic wrap on said burner, do not attempt to rescue the plastic wrap by reaching INTO the flame to snatch it. If you ignore my advice and do it anyway, you will probably experience the pain of burned digits for a few weeks like I did.

Edited by Lori in PA (log)

~ Lori in PA

My blog: http://inmykitcheninmylife.blogspot.com/

My egullet blog: http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showtopic=89647&hl=

"Cooking is not a chore, it is a joy."

- Julia Child

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I thought that was one of the selling points of the glass cooktop, that it was easy to clean? (ducks the flying wooden spoon flung by G. G.) :laugh:

Here to report that blackened carbonized sugar boiling over is a nightmare no matter what the stovetop! :angry:

Agreed. :raz:

"It is impossible not to love someone who makes toast for you."

-Nigel Slater

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