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I will never again . . . (Part 2)


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Don't leave the plastic utensils milimeters from the in-use stove burner.

In the same vein: don't preheat the oven unless you're sure it's empty.

EVERY TIME!! I keep my cast iron skillet and one of my baking sheets in my oven and I always forget to take them out when I preheat the oven. It really makes me mad! Then I have to call out like a maniac... "Don't touch the pans that are on the stove!!". Sigh.

Don't ASSUME that your dog (or your 2-year-old for that matter) can't, or won't attempt to, reach the cookies that you've left on the counter.

Edited by lesfen (log)
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Before you shake that bottle, make sure the lid is actually screwed on.

When measuring, especially spice paste, chili flakes, or ANYTHING hot, triple check whether you're reading TEAspoons or TABLEspoons. Coughing fits and scorched palates may ensue.

**Melanie**

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Here's another one I just thought of: When using your immersion blender to puree hot liquid make sure it is turned OFF before you plunge it into said liquid and off AGAIN when you take it out.

My aloe plant comes in handy. Thanks, Mom.

Karen C.

"Oh, suddenly life’s fun, suddenly there’s a reason to get up in the morning – it’s called bacon!" - Sookie St. James

Travelogue: Ten days in Tuscany

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Don't handle hot peppers seeding, peeling etc (about thirty of them) barehanded and then go to the bathroom and pee.  Don't do that.

Unless, of course, you have a cute kitchen helper to (ahem) lend a hand.

Hmmm--wonder why there's no "dirty birdy" smilie...I could use one right about now. heehee

"I'm not eating it...my tongue is just looking at it!" --My then-3.5 year-old niece, who was NOT eating a piece of gum

"Wow--this is a fancy restaurant! They keep bringing us more water and we didn't even ask for it!" --My 5.75 year-old niece, about Bread Bar

"He's jumped the flounder, as you might say."

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Be too busy gossiping and forget to ask the fishmonger to clean fish. Cook said fish for 6 with guts still in.

Put defrosted butter into fridge and put still frozen butter into now near-dead kitchenaid.

Flambé bananas in rum under a low ceiling.

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I usually do the open oven, grab pan with mitts, take off mitts, do something, grab pan routine. One landing me in the emergency room with a bottle of percodin to take home. According to a friend a phone call a little while later ran something like this:

Me: Hello, oh yeah I'm fine, doc put me on percodin...

Friend: wow at least you got the good drugs.

me: blah blah blah

friend: blah blah blah

me: (silence)

friend: hello?

me: hello? Julie, is that you? Oh hi how's it going?

Totally as if we hadn't been talking for 10 minutes already. She teases me to this day about getting burned and being drugged.

Every once in awhile I do the bump arm onto hot oven door thing too.

Foodwise a friend of mine nuked whipped cream for a minute. I believe she was trying to thaw it faster. Mmm yum lets all pour melted I have no idea whats in this shit (that whip stuff in the blue tub found in freezer aisles) all over our dessert. Um...no lets not!

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I will never again fill the crockpot with all the vegetables and aromatics, add the liquid, and then put in the formerly frozen beef without checking the date on the beef FIRST.

While I'm willing to play reasonably fast and loose with dates on frozen meat, there are limits. The package said 9/03/98.

We're eating out tonight.

Marcia.

see also this thread

edited to get the date right.

Edited by purplewiz (log)

Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted...he lived happily ever after. -- Willy Wonka

eGullet foodblog

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Don't switch the oven from bake to broil in order to brown the top of the mac 'n cheese and then leave the kitchen to open Christmas presents.

Dear Food: I hate myself for loving you.

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Me: Hello, oh yeah I'm fine, doc put me on percodin...

Friend: wow at least you got the good drugs.

me: blah blah blah

friend: blah blah blah

me: (silence)

friend: hello?

me: hello? Julie, is that you? Oh hi how's it going?

Totally as if we hadn't been talking for 10 minutes already. She teases me to this day about getting burned and being drugged.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I'm like that without the percodin! :laugh::laugh::laugh:

Karen C.

"Oh, suddenly life’s fun, suddenly there’s a reason to get up in the morning – it’s called bacon!" - Sookie St. James

Travelogue: Ten days in Tuscany

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Don't leave a paper bag full of garbage on top of a gas stove even if all the burners are turned off.

(NOTE: I wasn't the one who did this. I am smarter than that. Unfortunately a friend of mine wasn't. And it was my apartment that he was housesitting.)

Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea? How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea!

- Sydney Smith, English clergyman & essayist, 1771-1845

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And that old classic: never cook naked.

Ashamed to admit it, but never fry bacon naked was learned the hard way in my house.

Abso-fricken-lutely! While bacon-grease slathered boobs MIGHT seem like a "good-thing" they definitely are NOT!

Shelley: Would you like some pie?

Gordon: MASSIVE, MASSIVE QUANTITIES AND A GLASS OF WATER, SWEETHEART. MY SOCKS ARE ON FIRE.

Twin Peaks

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Abso-fricken-lutely! While bacon-grease slathered boobs MIGHT seem like a "good-thing" they definitely are NOT!

Depends on who you ask.

:blush:

"Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit." -- Anthony Bourdain

Promote skepticism and critical thinking. www.randi.org

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Left the white loaf of bread bag on top of my new nice white toaster oven while toasting (on the darkest setting too).  Now I have the inversed Wonder Bread logo hermtically etched ontop like graffiti for all to see.

Try this - take one of the Mr. Clean Magic Erasers and very gently try to remove it. You might be amazed.

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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When slidng food into hot oil, do it gently. Otherwise, the splash is a doozy.

you're so right! I just deep fried my thumb last

week while frying papads for the kids....

try hopping around the kitchen on one foot

while swearing *silently* because your 4 YO is

at the phase where he unerringly picks up on all

the wicked words and repeats them in school.

Of course, the good words I say get ignored...

Milagai

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My latest: always be sure to read the heating instructions on the package carefully. Blurry eyed (too much computer?) I misread 1 minute for 7 minutes and came back to the kitchen to see smoke pouring out of the microwave. It still smells like burnt burrito.

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Don't store your George Forman Grill with the drip thingy inside of it. Next time you preheat it, it will melt. Fortunately the clean up wasn't too bad. That thing has one hell of a non-stick surface.

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