Dinner II: The Gallery of Regrettable Foods (Part 2)

[Genny]

Here I was trying to swirl in redy dye for my lovely vanilla marshmallows.  I used red gel and a palette knife.  When I cut them, here is what I found:

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Whoa! We used to get chunks of stuff that looked like this from the Neuro OR. But aside from that, how'd they taste?

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Perfect! Light, fluffy sugary goodness. DH ate the most repulsive looking ones without blinking. A grave sacrifice, I'm sure!

[GTO]

Christ! It's like open-breakfast surgery!

[Donia]

  Yeah, and there's a particularly fat and tasty-looking one over on the lower right hand side. Save that one for me. 

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Heheheheheh ... reminds me of a parody-doggerel from my grade school days:

"Oh say can you see

Any bedbugs on me?

If you do, take a few,

But leave some for me!"

Okay, now it's time for me to ante up, and I can't believe how much embarrassment I had to fight in order to post the following beauteous picture:

This unattractive slop is a result of the bad convergence of several of my peculiar food behaviors:

1) My mom trained me so well to avoid wasting food that I can't bear to throw out leftovers, no matter how uninspiring they may be;

2) This in turn evolved into a penchant for trying to combine leftovers in various ways in an attempt to conceal their flaws;

3) When said combinations don't succeed as desired, I have a tendency to try throwing in additional stuff in an attempt to salvage the dish.

So ... I had some leftover garbanzo beans and brown rice. I also had a left-over first attempt at cooking nopales--I didn't care for the finished product's taste or texture, but because of behavior (1), I just couldn't bring myself to simply toss 'em and try again (I have since learned that I should have gone for the really small paddles, instead of the big ones I got).

I also had about a half-can's worth of leftover chipotle chiles in adobo, and some fresh roma tomatos, so I got the brilliant idea of combining them all and making some kind of stew/chili/thang. So I started a little mirepoix of onions/celery/carrot in a big pot, and then threw in all the other stuff to simmer. Realizing I needed a bit more liquid in there, I thought of another leftover in the fridge, this some (very jelled!) broth left from a batch of stewed pig's feet (which, while tasty, could have provided another photo worthy of this thread, but alas I didn't think to snap any).

Anyway, so in went the jelled broth too, which did quickly liquefy. Everything seemed to be humming along quite nicely, but the finished flavor--urk. The chipotles and adobo were way too strong, drowning out almost everything else ... except those damn nopales, whose flavor, texture, and even odor were still putting me off.

But could I leave well enough alone? Of course not! I had to try adding a can of tomato sauce, to see if it would even things out. It didn't. And the result is this gelatinous mass of red ... stuff. To be sure, this is straight out of the fridge, and it would loosen up some if heated. But trust me, it doesn't look (or taste) any more appetizing when hot.

The saddest thing of all is that I still can't quite bring myself to throw this mess out. Not that I can bring myself to eat it either. I'll probably wind up keeping it in the fridge until it either goes haz-mat or just gets too much in the way, and then it'll get tossed (no doubt along with the disposable plastic container I've placed it in, which by that point will be contaminated past the point of no return).

Whew. Okay, my conscience is clear. (Of that mess, at any rate.)

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I know this is an old post, but I'm new here, so gimme a break!

I had to quote it because I did the same thing a few years ago...I never throw away leftovers and I just threw a bunch of stuff together that I thought would be ok. I don't remember everything that was in it, but I know it included peas and bacon. It smelled...and somehow tasted...like a wet dog. It was so horrible. I wanted to throw it away, but my husband ate it anyway. I really don't know how he choked it down, and I really wish I had a picture of it. He says that's the only thing I've ever cooked that he hated. Who could blame him?

[takadi]

LOL this thread is hilarious! I saw a headless chicken with the neck still on sitting coyly in a bowl and for some reason I just spit out and laughed my ass off. LOL

This thread is perfect for me! I've always been intimidated by almighty dinner thread with five star dishes. Once I get a camera, I will be on this thread for quite a while

Edited May 12, 2007 by takadi (log)

[Prawncrackers]

Huh? There's an anti-dinner thread! Excellent, i've had a few disasters in the kitchen recently but haven't been bothered to photo them (mostly dough related)!!

Think i'll read the whole of this thread for laughs first though

[Henry dV]

Well my most regrettable sight, though it was mightily tasty was Woodpigeon and Pork sausage with bubble and squeak.

basically it was a thrift thing, we had a traditional Sunday lunch and I decided, on Monday (or possibly Tuesday)to throw the mashed tatties, carrots, brocolli and cabbage together and fry in a ring until crisp on the outside and mushy in the middle.

Dab of mustard and I was a happy man, I took the snap as a laugh to show my wife as she was out having dinner at a restaurant with work friends.

[Prawncrackers]

I think that banger looks quite appetising Henry dV, i would be very happy with that if i found it on my plate!

Here's my cook's treat from the weekend; hot crab back fat. My idea of food heaven, however my wife reckons i've wrung out a few used nappies/diapers. Looking at it again now, i can see what she means...

[dockhl]

Here's my cook's treat from the weekend; hot crab back fat.  My idea of food heaven, however my wife reckons i've wrung out a few used nappies/diapers.  Looking at it again now, i can see what she means...

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Now THAT is truly disgusting! (Both the pic and the description....)

Nicely done.

[GTO]

...Did you eat the crab and then photograph it on it's return journey?

I bet your wife was wishing the onions on the side we more than mere paintings!

[Prawncrackers]

...Did you eat the crab and then photograph it on it's return journey?

I bet your wife was wishing the onions on the side we more than mere paintings!

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Hee hee, the hot brown meat from a freshly boiled crab is my own personal treat!! I admit it looks like a burst colostomy bag but omigod does it taste good...

My wife runs a mile from this! Made some nice crab croquettes with the white meat for her and some guests later

[maggiethecat]

I admit it looks like a burst colostomy bag but omigod does it taste good... 

Now there's a sig line! Someone grab it right now.

I'm glad it tasted good.

[Prawncrackers]

Now there's a sig line! Someone grab it right now.

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Yoink, that one is definately mine!! Yay, i've got a signature line now. Thanks Maggiethecat, feels like i've joined the Forum anew again

[Nishla]

This squid ink risotto was strangely reminiscent of earthworms crawling in mud...

[prasantrin]

This squid ink risotto was strangely reminiscent of earthworms crawling in mud... 

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Yowzers! That was scary! It looks like there's a tentacle wrapped around a chopstick there--you can see the suckers on the poor guy.

The hair on my arms is standing up from looking at this picture...really!

[dockhl]

I don't think I could eat that (what ARE those things?)

ETA: OK, I got it......I just saw the squid INK part, wasn't paying attention to the fact that those really ARE tentacles............I still couldn't eat it, and I love squid)

Edited May 22, 2007 by dockhl (log)

[gfron1]

Eegad man!!!! Send that to Fear Factor and win the prize already...just get it off my computer screen.

[GTO]

Nishla: Oh, you're making compost!?

Did your pot survive all that ink?

[handmc]

Nishla: one horrific post. I have missed this thread.

[curlywurlyfi]

Nishla - wow. Ten million points to you. Er - did you actually, you know, eat it, in the end?

[MissAmy]

Wow, there's some pretty grotesque stuff in this thread, but that squid ink risotto really takes it. I think it's the loooooong stretched out tentacle that really makes the shot a special thing.

What did it taste like?

[Beebs]

Oh my!

There was this one episode of Star Trek DS9 where the characters are at a Klingon restaurant, and the Klingon chef slops a plate of black, squirmy, slimy worm-things which the customers proceeded to eat with relish....

[Nishla]

I must say, I'm quite pleased with the response to my contribution

The risotto tasted pretty good, and there's a plated version in the Dinner thread which is slightly less scary. The squid ink has little or no flavor, but the squid itself was incredibly fresh and tasty. It did look pretty horrifying while cooking, though!

[petite tête de chou]

This squid ink risotto was strangely reminiscent of earthworms crawling in mud... 

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That is the *ultimate* dish to serve at Halloween.

[miladyinsanity]

No pics, because my camera is still trying to tick me off. It won't succeed.

I decided I wanted pasta for a midnight snack. When I opened the pantry, I saw a bag of rice pasta and decided to try that instead of using spaghetti.

I cooked the pasta and stirred it into the cream sauce.

It turned into a white gloop. And I had read the instructions on the packet, then undercooked it by 3 minutes!

I would use it as glue, but I think the cream in it would go bad really fast.

I think I'm going to just have instant noodles. ARGH.

[racheld]

Oh my!

There was this one episode of Star Trek DS9 where the characters are at a Klingon restaurant, and the Klingon chef slops a plate of black, squirmy, slimy worm-things which the customers proceeded to eat with relish....

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GAAA-AAAACK!! And it has to be very fresh. As in moving.

They've featured plates of it in several episodes, and they all looked more edible than that potful.

I'm glad it was YOU, Nishla---your track record for beautiful food will hardly be sullied by one ugly dish. But this one DOES take the crumbcake.