Kitchen Adages

[Holly Moore]

Got in a conversation with a chef about those terms every novice hears.

My introductory cooking professor, Vance Christian, admonished, "Don't put anything on a work area you wouldn't eat. ie No sitting on counters. The chef said he had always heard, "Tables are for glasses, not for asses."

A McDonald's sayings. "Time to lean, time to clean." Not really adages: No rags, only towels. Fries are cooked in shortening, not grease. Back in the day when special orders were discouraged they were called "grills" so other customers in line wouldn't think they could have their burger their way.

What other sayings come to mind?

[chileheadmike]

A chef I trained under said something to the effect of, "Grease is for cars, this is oil or fat. If you call it Grease, you're fired." That was 30 years ago and the stuff is still called oil or fat.

Edited Because I can't spell grease.

Edited September 15, 2009 by chileheadmike (log)

[fooey]

"The health department works in mysterious ways!"

This always said with legato and increasing volume to the end, as The health department works IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

It was a reminder to clean one's station immediately, wash one's hands, or rectify some blatant health violation.

Edited September 15, 2009 by fooey (log)

[Chris Amirault]

Not sure it was an adage, but along the same lines as the health inspector line, "Seven-Up?" was BOH code in one job I had for "shoot me some of that crappy white wine from the gun and call it soda, kid."

[pastrygirl]

When one was flirting with the cute line cooks or otherwise being inefficient, one chef always warned "you're going to need those two minutes" meaning don't slack now or you'll be in the weeds later. Of course he was always right.

[pastameshugana]

I read a book a while back called "The sharper your knife, the less you cry." Of course, no matter how sharp I get my knife, the wife always protests onion duty...

[boagman]

A McDonald's sayings. "Time to lean, time to clean."

Actually, from what I've been told, this line is more attributed to Colonel Sanders than McDonald's. Apparently, he was an absolutely *miserable* old, um, "gentleman" to work for, and this was just one of many things he'd come up with over the years. Not that it's a bad saying, mind you, but the story goes that no one wanted to work when he did, since he was just so ornery. A great businessman? You bet. Great boss? Not so much, apparently.

[Bradley]

"When in doubt, throw it out."

Concerning mistakes on to go orders: "If it's to go they'll never know."

[ChefJohnny]

"We don't have customers here. We have guests. Wal-Mart has customers."

"We don't have scrap. We have trim. Junkyards have scrap."

[maggiethecat]

OK, I've never worked in a professional kitchen, but I have friends who have. That "If you have time to lean, you've time to clean" thing annoys me no end. If hard-working line cooks have a breather, I'd say: "Lean a little. Then clean."

[prasantrin]

A McDonald's sayings. "Time to lean, time to clean."

Actually, from what I've been told, this line is more attributed to Colonel Sanders than McDonald's. Apparently, he was an absolutely *miserable* old, um, "gentleman" to work for, and this was just one of many things he'd come up with over the years. Not that it's a bad saying, mind you, but the story goes that no one wanted to work when he did, since he was just so ornery. A great businessman? You bet. Great boss? Not so much, apparently.

Holly used to work for McDonald's (product development, I think), so I have faith people used it say it there, too. Either way, it's annoying.

[Joisey]

"Don't assume, it only makes an ass out of you and me"

Holy shit, I worked with some real D-Bag managers. I've heard 90 percent of the above and more.

[Skeleton]

I don't know who was being quoted but a sous chef I once worked under explained that the stock should be "smiling, not laughing" and have loved and used that adage ever since.

[Hito]

My most recent boss always said to "make it nice or do it twice" when plating. It got old fast, but it sticks with you.

[SauceRobert]

"Don't touch my f***ing meeze!"

heh... not an adage, but I've heard it said, and possibly said it to many a new guy...

[Bootsie]

"Never trust a skinny cook" Which strangely enough has been true for me. I've never met a skinny cook that didn't turn out to be an absolute d-bag. Or a fiend.

"Butter makes everything better you @##%%$%##^%%&! Now move your ass." Thank you Chef Barron for that one. Also remember that about this time you should be dodging rondoes. I have amazing reflexes now.

One of my favorites, though not an adage was from this great pizza place I worked at in Georgia a few years back. Someone would randomly scream "KITCHEN MEETING!!" At which point the entire staff(cooks, servers, bartenders, managers) would run to the walk-in, chug a beer, and go back to work. This happened at least five or six times a night. Those were good times.

Edited February 2, 2010 by Bootsie (log)

[Jtothe]

"If you have time to lean, it's time to clean"

when cooks, servers, dishwashers are leaning on the counters.

[whitesnack]

had a strange experience last night with this. we have a new guy whose driving me crazy! im on Expo in the middle of valentines day dinner rush and the new guy on hot aps(who in quite frankly driving me insane) yells "how many shrimp aps do i have all day!."

"6 all day." i yell back

"how many do i have all night?" he then yells

"What the @#$@ does that mean?" i yell.

"HOW MANY DO I HAVE ALL NIGHT!!!" he just kept yelling it

this is a newer employee i havent really worked with him to much but afterward i asked him what he meant because frankly i have never heard that before.

he said something to the tune of we learned it at the cia, and mabey i just wasnt cool enough to know what it meant.

[andiesenji]

I don't remember any specific adages from the brief times I worked in a restaurant kitchen.

However, I worked for a few years in a professional bakery (owned by my mom) and the head baker, who had many years of experience, had one very important adage which we were ordered to follow.

"Bake when the DOUGH is ready, not the clock."

I still follow this today in my own baking at home. I don't rely completely on timers because there are many things that can influence how dough behaves and it's not always the weather - sometimes I think it must be the gods of baking.

[lesliec]

Heard one on TV last night: 'Kitchen pickers wear big knickers' (ie if you spend too much time sampling the dishes you'll end up a little, shall we say, plumptious). Maybe related to the one about skinny cooks ...

[Mr Pie]

"Why can't you ever learn to clean up after yourself!" - everyone I have ever shared a house with.

[Special K]

"Clean as you go." It's a pretty good philosphy of life in general, I've found. Don't leave messes for somebody else to clean up.