Food Quotes

[andiesenji]

Most memorable? Well, to me the funniest........

The BEANS "quotes" in Blazing Saddles

Which has just been released on DVD from a newly mastered digital source.

and with comments from Mel Brooks with additional scenes.

The funniest western and one of the funniest movies of all time. In my opinion.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?

Love Actually (2003)

Agree with you 100% on Blazing Saddles being the tops, andiesenji!

[mags]

Ohhhh, Gifted Gourmet, I LOVE the Shel Silverstein! That's wonderful.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Of course there was just a bit of food humor in Seinfeld .....

Jerry: You see, Elaine, the key to eating a black and white cookie is that you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet still somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved.

Jerry: You will be stunned.

Elaine: Stunned by soup?

Jerry: You can't eat this soup standing up. Your knees buckle.

George Costanza: The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

[discussing George's ATM code]

George Costanza: I am not giving you my code.

Cosmo Kramer: I'll bet I can guess it. Oh, all right. Yeah. Uh, let's see. Um, well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you, you're a word man. All right, let's go deeper. Uh, what kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations, but what tempts you? You're a portly fellow. A bit long in the waste band. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no no, yours... is a sweet tooth. Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master - the cocoa bean. No, and only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you! you'd guzzle it by the gallon! Ovaltine! Hershey's!

George Costanza: [running out the door] Shut up!

Your dark master -- the cocoa bean .. hysterical!

and finally, yes there is an end to this merriment, however "dated and stale":

Jerry: So how's the fornicating gourmet?

George Costanza: Doing quite well. Yesterday for lunch, I had a soft-boiled egg and a quickie. Now, if I could add TV to the equation, that would really be the ultimate.

Jerry: George, we're trying to have a civilization here.

Edited July 1, 2004 by Gifted Gourmet (log)

[Pickles]

Five Easy Pieces

BOBBY to the waitress)

You have bread, don't you, and a

toaster of some kind?

WAITRESS

I don't make the rules.

BOBBY

Okay, I'll make it as easy for you

as I can. Give me an omelette,

plain, and a chicken salad sandwich

on wheat toast -- no butter, no

mayonnaise, no lettuce -- and a cup

of coffee.

She begins writing down his order, repeating it

sarcastically:

WAITRESS

One Number Two, and a chicken sal

san -- hold the butter, the mayo,

the lettuce -- and a cup of

coffee... Anything else?

BOBBY

Now all you have to do is hold the

chicken, bring me the toast, charge

me for the sandwich, and you

haven't broken any rules.

WAITRESS

(challenging him)

You want me to hold the chicken.

BOBBY

Yeah. I want you to hold it between

your knees.

Classic!!

[egator]

Primo: Sometimes the spaghetti likes to be alone

.

[gmi3804]

Not exactly a movie (although there was a movie adaptation, so I suppose it qualifies)

Stephen Sondheim from Sweeney Todd

It's priest.

Have a little priest.

Is it really Good?

Sir, it's too good, at least.

Then again they don't commit sins of the flesh,

So it's pretty fresh.

Awful lot of fat

Only where it sat.

Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

No, you see the trouble with poet is,

How do you know it's deceased?

Try the priest.

Mmmm, heavenly...

May you live to be a thousand years old!

George (BIG Sondheim Fan here...)

[gmi3804]

To continue the Sondheim thread, from Into the Woods:

In the past, when your mother was with child, she developed

an unusual appetite. SHe took one look at my beautiful garden

and told your father that what she wanted more than

anything in the world was

Greens, greens and nothing but greens:

Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,

Asparagus and watercress and

Fiddleferns and lettuce-!

He said, "All right,"

But it wasn't, quite,

'Cause I caught him in the autumn

In my garden one night!

He was robbing me,

Raping me,

Rooting through my rutabaga,

Raiding my arugula and

Ripping up my rampion

(My champion! My favorite!)-

I should have laid a spell on him

Right there,

Could have changed him into stone

Or a dog or a chair...

But I let him have the rampion-

I'd lots to spare.

In return, however,

I said, "Fair is fair:

You can let me have the baby

That your wife will bear.

And we'll call it square."

So there's no more fuss

And there's no more scenes

And my garden thrives!

(You should see my nectarines!)

But I'm tellling you the same

I tell kings and queens:

Don't ever never ever

Mess around with my greens!

Especially the beans.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Since we are now up to classics, you just knew this one was coming:

Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Hannibal Lecter: I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye

.

[chefdg]

"maybe I sould make a side of mashed potatoes to put on the otherside!" Primo to Secondo, The Big Night.

"I'll take a half-double-decaffeinated-half-calf, with a twist of lemon." Steve Martin, L.A. Story.

[monkeymay]

From one of my favorites...

"I was cooking dinner that night. I had to start braising the beef, pork butt and veal shanks for the tomato sauce. It's Michael's favorite. I was making ziti with the meat gravy, and I'm planning to roast some peppers over the flames, and I was putting on some string beans with the olive oil and garlic, and I had some beautiful cutlets, cut just right, that I was going to fry up before dinner just as an appetizer.

I was home for about an hour. My plan was to start dinner early, so Karen and I could unload the guns that Jimmy didn't want, and get the package for Judy to take to Atlanta later that night. I kept looking out the window and the helicopter was gone.

I asked Michael to stir the sauce, and Karen and I started out.

GOODFELLAS

[Gifted Gourmet]

From the first City Slickers:

Barry Shalowitz: What do you think? What would be the perfect flavor with this meal?

Ira Shalowitz: Cherry vanilla?

Barry Shalowitz: No. If it was Chinese food, right on the money, but this? Toasted almonds.

Mitch Robbins: What's going on?

Ira Shalowitz: Barry can pick out the exact right flavor of ice cream to follow any meal. Go ahead. Challenge him.

Mitch Robbins: Challenge him?

Barry Shalowitz: Go on.

Mitch Robbins: Franks and beans.

Barry Shalowitz: Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla. Don't waste my time.

[Flings plate at Mitch as if he throws down the gauntlet]

Barry Shalowitz: Come on. Push me.

Mitch Robbins: Sea bass.

Barry Shalowitz: Grilled?

Mitch Robbins: Sauteed.

Barry Shalowitz: I'm with you.

Mitch Robbins: Potatoes au gratin. Asparagus.

Barry Shalowitz: Rum raisin.

Barry Shalowitz, Ira Shalowitz: WOOF!

Phil Berquist: [At Curly's funeral] The man ate bacon at every meal...you just can't do that!

[monkeymay]

And then the other great lines...

Paul Cicero: You know anything about this fucking restaurant business?

[Talking to Henry]

Sonny Bunz: He knows everything about it. I mean he's in the joint 24 hours a day. I mean another fucking few minutes he could be a stool that's how often he's in there.

"Dinner was always a very big thing. We had a pasta course and then a meat or a fish. Paulie did the prep work. He was doing a year for contempt and he had a system for doing the garlic. He used a razor and he sliced it so thin it used to liquify in the oil. Vinnie was in charge of the tomato sauce. I felt he put in too many onions, but it was a good sauce anyway."

Henry, Jimmy and Tommy are digging with shovels to find Batts' corpse. Henry is sickened by the stench, but the others don't appear to be bothered] Tommy DeVito: Hey Henry, Henry, hurry up will you? My mother's gonna make some fried peppers and sausage for us. Oh hey, Henry, Henry. Here's an arm. Henry Hill: Very funny, guys. Tommy DeVito: Hey, here's a leg. Here's a wing. [He laughs] Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go for the old hearts and lungs? [Henry vomits]

[Pickles]

Loving those Goodfellas quotes!!

[Gifted Gourmet]

Bubba: Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.

Forrest Gump 1994 ....

and the delectable, oft quoted:

Mrs. Gump: Life's a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you're gonna get

.

and a little Annie Hall (1977)

Annie Hall: Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.

Alvy Singer: You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.

Alvy Singer: Annie, there's a big lobster behind the refrigerator. I can't get it out. This thing's heavy. Maybe if I put a little dish of butter sauce here with a nutcracker, it will run out the other side.

Edited July 1, 2004 by Gifted Gourmet (log)

[Dignan]

From Ravenous (1999):

Colonel Hart: It's lonely being a cannibal. Tough making friends.

Edited July 1, 2004 by Dignan (log)

[chefdg]

"Take a cold fish and drag it through the garden." Airplane.

[monkeymay]

and a little Annie Hall (1977)

Annie Hall: Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.

Alvy Singer: You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.

Alvy Singer: Annie, there's a big lobster behind the refrigerator. I can't get it out. This thing's heavy. Maybe if I put a little dish of butter sauce here with a nutcracker, it will run out the other side.

Also from Annie Hall, and used constantly in our household:

" How am I a paranoid-? Well, I pick up on those kind o' things. You know, I was having lunch with some guys from NBC, so I said ... uh, "Did you eat yet or what?" and Tom Christie said, "No, didchoo?" Not, did you, didchoo eat? Jew? No, not did you eat, but Jew eat? Jew. You get it? Jew eat?"

And I thought I'd add one more...

J.J. Hunseker to Sidney Falco in "Sweet Smell of Success" -

"I'd hate to take a bite outta you. You're a cookie filled with arsenic."

Edited July 1, 2004 by monkeymay (log)

[Fresser]

Just after Mel Gibson pulls a jumper off a building ledge in "Lethal Weapon." Danny Glover confronts him in a garage and, after a long exchange, blurts,

"You're not trying to draw psycho pension--you really ARE crazy!"

"I...I...I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get somethin' to eat."

[Gifted Gourmet]

and a little Annie Hall (1977)

Annie Hall: Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.

Alvy Singer: You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.

Alvy Singer: Annie, there's a big lobster behind the refrigerator. I can't get it out. This thing's heavy. Maybe if I put a little dish of butter sauce here with a nutcracker, it will run out the other side.

Also from Annie Hall, and used constantly in our household:

" How am I a paranoid-? Well, I pick up on those kind o' things. You know, I was having lunch with some guys from NBC, so I said ... uh, "Did you eat yet or what?" and Tom Christie said, "No, didchoo?" Not, did you, didchoo eat? Jew? No, not did you eat, but Jew eat? Jew. You get it? Jew eat?"

."

"Did you eat yet or what?" and Tom Christie said, "No, didchoo?"  Not, did you, didchoo eat?  Jew?  No, not did you eat, but Jew eat?  Jew.  You get it?  Jew eat?" 

one of my all time favorite Woody bits!

[Juanito]

Don't overcook it. You overcook it, it's no good. It defeats its own purpose. - Robert DeNiro, as boxer Jake LaMotta, offering his wife some pointers on steak cookery, in "Raging Bull"

The thing is, he was right!

[Gifted Gourmet]

Rufus T. Firefly: How would you like a job in the mint?

Chicolini: Mint? No, no, I no like a mint. Uh - what other flavor you got?

Duck Soup 1933

[petite tête de chou]

"Eat, drink, man, woman. Food and sex. Basic human desires. Can't avoid them! All my life, everyday, all I do. It pisses me off."--Chu to Old Wen

"Eat Drink Man Woman"

[Gifted Gourmet]

Chu: Raising daughters is like cooking a meal. You loose your appetite by the time you're finished.

Eat Drink Man Woman thanks for reminding me!

[RSincere]

From "Say Anything," Joan Cusack to John Cusack:

Why do you eat that stuff?  There's no food in your food.