People Talking to You While you Cook

[stovetop]

can great danes cook; boy if they here in my kitchen they better grab a knife and start chopping...ha .ha; like in life you have to learn how to relax in pressure situations, it is easy to GRRRRR every one because you are under pressure, it is not their problem it is yours, chill out.

It is just a game after after all!!!

stovetop

[stovetop]

I like dogs, do not have one; but I know people who do, they talk about them all the time, this is great; my point is I have been in a few situations where dogs are around and it is not a problem ( dog friendly) in my opinion ; this environment I have found usually a more relax environment, every one is usually having fun, kids in this situation are around but not always, the adults have a few road pops in them so they are relaxed, the food is a flowing, people are talking- having fun.

I wish there was more dog friendly places- &%$*&%$ the health board, dogs have been around as long as us humans, they have not killed us yet. They are cleaner then most humans, it is the humans who are dirty not the dog.

stovetop

one for the dogs

[Marlene]

I suspect that the "big deal" is that Kate has some attention issues that she's previously detailed.  For her, someone talking "at" or "to" her would be a big deal when she's trying to concentrate.  I can understand this because I have a son with the same issues. 

I personally love to chat while I'm cooking, but for people like Kate and others, they need the quiet to focus on what they are doing so that they can be successful and feel successful at the completion of the project.  Whether it be cooking eggs, or anything else.

Wow. Do you do therapy sessions?

My hourly rate is quite reasonable!

Seriously, I've noticed the same trait with my son as he has started to learn to cook. He loves doing it, but I can't "chat" with him while he's "cooking". He just loses his focus completely. And then he feels badly.

[paul o' vendange]

I suspect that the "big deal" is that Kate has some attention issues that she's previously detailed.  For her, someone talking "at" or "to" her would be a big deal when she's trying to concentrate.  I can understand this because I have a son with the same issues.  

I personally love to chat while I'm cooking, but for people like Kate and others, they need the quiet to focus on what they are doing so that they can be successful and feel successful at the completion of the project.  Whether it be cooking eggs, or anything else.

Wow. Do you do therapy sessions?

Speaking for myself, I know I am very singleminded generally, and especially so when it comes to cooking, to a verified fault I own. It has its pluses - looking inward, a fierce desire, a sense of mission, I suppose I would say.

I am also a hell of a social animal; I simply like to keep the two separate. I liken cooking to painting, or writing, or any other activity which requires concentration to give pleasure. Bottom line, I don't know that this desire for quiet shared by a few (including myself) is as much about an inability to concentrate as it is simply a choice about how best to go about the work at hand.

Paul

Edited June 19, 2004 by paul o' vendange (log)

[Susan in FL]

I suspect that the "big deal" is that Kate has some attention issues that she's previously detailed.  For her, someone talking "at" or "to" her would be a big deal when she's trying to concentrate.  I can understand this because I have a son with the same issues. 

I personally love to chat while I'm cooking, but for people like Kate and others, they need the quiet to focus on what they are doing so that they can be successful and feel successful at the completion of the project.  Whether it be cooking eggs, or anything else.

Wow. Do you do therapy sessions?

Speaking for myself, I know I am very singleminded generally, and especially so when it comes to cooking, to a verified fault I own. It has its pluses - looking inward, a fierce desire, a sense of mission, I suppose I would say.

I am also a hell of a social animal; I simply like to keep the two separate. I liken cooking to painting, or writing, or any other activity which requires concentration to give pleasure. Bottom line, I don't know that this desire for quiet shared by a few (including myself) is as much about an inability to concentrate as it is simply a choice about how best to go about the work at hand.

Paul

Paul, I like that.

Do you do therapy sessions?

[paul o' vendange]

Susan, you bet...at a very reasonable rate, I would think. Our group sessions offer many different therapeutic modalities, too; e.g., a duo of duck starter, house-cured duck breast prosciutto on black mission fig brioche point and duck liver feuilleté with a demitasse of chilled, summer fruit coulis, or braised lamb shoulder with a tian of roast summer vegetables, chevre risotto cake and a lamb jus, or, or, or...

We also regularly provide private sessions, in a wonderful setting - the private session room is a glass atrium attached to our main clinic. It's a working greenhouse, with flats of herbs for aromatherapy purposes.

The only thing about our clinic is that it is at the end of the world - our Canadian guests will have to swim across Mother Superior and our Southern U.S. guests will have to bring a parka in tow.

[bleudauvergne]

... many different therapeutic modalities, too; e.g., a duo of duck starter, house-cured duck breast prosciutto on black mission fig brioche point and duck liver feuilleté with a demitasse of chilled, summer fruit coulis, or braised lamb shoulder with a tian of roast summer vegetables, chevre risotto cake and a lamb jus, or, or, or...

We also regularly provide private sessions, in a wonderful setting - the private session room is a glass atrium attached to our main clinic. It's a working greenhouse, with flats of herbs for aromatherapy purposes.

The only thing about our clinic is that it is at the end of the world - our Canadian guests will have to swim across Mother Superior and our Southern U.S. guests will have to bring a parka in tow.

Paul's place sounds just like the cure for me.

The initial post of this thread initially puzzled me, I just didn't understand, because I love to be engaged in conversation while cooking. Sometimes my husband asks what he can do and I tell him what I want him to do is talk to me about his day while I'm cooking. I often talk with friends or family on the speaker phone for long periods of time when I am in the kitchen, in fact it makes the longer tasks that require patience more pleasurable, and keeps me moving. Sometimes cooking noises interfere - I have considered getting one of those headsets. When I have to do something that requires a fair amount of concentration I let them know I'm going to do it and quickly I just do it, and maybe there's a lull in the conversation.

However, it's when someone comes in and looks, and their gaze follows me from one task to the next, but does not talk to me that makes me feel edgy, mainly because I am usually working on two, three, or four things at the same time and my tasks follow one another in an order that from the outside may seem chaotic. It gets surreal. I start seeing things from someone else's perspective and wondering if I should explain what I'm doing. It's rather odd, and that's when I give them a knife, a board and a vegetable and tell them I need something diced to get them out of my hair.

[bleudauvergne]

I liken cooking to painting, or writing, or any other activity which requires concentration to give pleasure.

It's funny that Paul should mention art and cooking.

I consider studio work (sculpture for instance) an activity that definitely requires uninterrupted concentration during certain key stages, and many aspects of cooking that corresponds to that type of activity is the planning, the surveying, when I may visualize my process and create a schedule in my mind of the preparations I plan to complete. At that time, I need to concentrate. When I am completing a task in the studio such as mixing plaster, constructing a frame in the woodshop, etc., preparing something for the foundry, where the decision has already been made, I don't mind having a person around to talk to. In short, many of the conceptual activities that take place in cooking have taken place before I even reach the kitchen, just as many of the creative activities that take place in the process of creating art have taken place outside the studio.

There are many elements to cooking that are very similar to art processes, which inevitably entails the execution of a concept, thus task oriented. I think that within the process of task completion there may be a certain degree of creativity that comes from a basic and instinctive part of my consciousness, and is not hindered by other activities like conversation going on, it acts in parallel with whatever I'm doing. Making decisions about seasoning, a split second change of heart about how I plan to present a dish (which happens a whole lot) can happen when I am in the middle of a conversation with someone, no problem. However, if a person is a silent spectator and I can sense that their gears are churning, that they may be trying to place some order to the activity, or that they may be unnecesarily mysticising the events taking place, it bothers me.

Writing for me falls outside of this category because it requires abstract visualization from beginning to end, and I can't have interruptions. I can listen to music but it has to be techno or music without words. Don't know why. It's a very solitary activity.

Edited June 20, 2004 by bleudauvergne (log)

[Susan in FL]

Susan, you bet...at a very reasonable rate, I would think.  Our group sessions offer many different therapeutic modalities, too; e.g., a duo of duck starter, house-cured duck breast prosciutto on black mission fig brioche point and duck liver feuilleté with a demitasse of chilled, summer fruit coulis, or braised lamb shoulder with a tian of roast summer vegetables, chevre risotto cake and a lamb jus,  or, or, or...

We also regularly provide private sessions, in a wonderful setting - the private session room is a glass atrium attached to our main clinic.  It's a working greenhouse, with flats of herbs for aromatherapy purposes.

The only thing about our clinic is that it is at the end of the world - our Canadian guests will have to swim across Mother Superior and our Southern U.S. guests will have to bring a parka in tow.

Well I have special needs, so multiple modalities are in order. Recommendations for my treatment plan include both group and private mileau. Plus, we must supplement with family therapy, so that my husband will be able to carry over prescribed interventions into our kitchen -- er, I mean, home. We would not want me to lose all the progress made by suddenly taking me from that therapeutic environment. Speaking of progress, it will be slow. My ways are deep-rooted; I need long term care, and I will certainly consent to being part of a research study. What kind of pharmacologcal options do you offer? I've had the best outcomes in the past with full-bodied reds.

I understand the distance involved. Often long travel is required when seeking fine counseling in world class clinics.

[Susan in FL]

Bleu, great posts! I've always likened cooking to a creative art, as well. It's interesting, and as you so well articulated, relevant to this topic presented by Kate.

[chromedome]

This is actually wife of Chromedome, reading this thread while CD and young'uns are eating lunch.

Chromedome likes no interference with his rhythm in the kitchen, though he has learned to give said young'uns a little space in there so as to encourage their own budding love of cooking. But CD himself is a little deaf, and is tuned in to what he's doing. He can handle one person coming in and asking about what he is doing, but not much more than that when we have a house full of people. On our daughter's birthday, he shared HIS kitchen with my Dad's wife beautifully. There were only a few misshaps regaurding Mummy's clothes and CD's food, but they had alot of fun for such a small kitchen.

How have you dealt with sharing your domain?

Squirrel

[chromedome]

Exculpatory moment.

I was never one for sharing my space in the kitchen, but of course cooking school takes care of that REALLY fast. And of course, I want to encourage my kids' nascent interest in cooking and baking. So really, it depends where I am and what mood I'm in.

At work, people natter at me all of the time. If I'm focussed on what I'm doing and especially if they're talking to my (less functional) left ear, it's no problem...I just don't hear them. Well, actually that is a problem sometimes.

At home, I have different moods and moments. If the scenario is "I've just got home from work and want to get supper on the table so I can sit down and relax," then you'd best be staying out of my way. Wife and kids know that.

If I am locked in the throes of mortal combat with my recalcitrant muse, then I am not fit company for any human. Wife and kids know that, too.

Otherwise, I'm okay with chat for the most part, less so with physical presence (small kitchen). My end of the conversation will tend to be random and abstracted, of course.

[Susan in FL]

Hi, wife of Chromedome and Chromedome. My husband and I do well sharing our domain/kitchen with each other. He is the only person I can successfully cook with. He can even talk to me or with me while I'm cooking, except for the most crucial moments. It's guests that I don't want trying to include me in the conversation. When Russ is talking and doesn't realize that I'm at a point where I have to focus all my concentration on the cooking, he will know it soon, because I will zone out. And he will understand.

Having never been professionally schooled in cooking, I never thought about that... yes, I imagine it does take care of sharing one's space in the kitchen!

[Dana]

I have difficulty cooking with my husband. He is constantly adjusting the flame (that is, turning it up) or seasoning something I already seasoned. I want him to LEAVE IT ALONE. If I need his help, I'll ask.

[dumplin]

I still have to tudor my husband on some of the finer points of cooking. He is great at prepping, so I let him do most of that. He does have a nasty habit of trying to kiss me on the neck while I'm cutting or working over flame. He then gets all sulky when I get upset. I'm just trying to keep all my digits intact...which is hard when I'm ALONE in the kitchen. I also had a stroke last fall (I'm 26), and my balance is off just a hair so I really have to concentrate a little more. I try to be patient with him, but there are times when I'm really concentrating and he's driving me up the wall. It doesn't help that we moved from a huge kitchen to one that's the size of a postage stamp...with the worst gas range I've ever seen. Our next kitchen will be large enough for two cooks to work together without falling all over each other. After reading this thread, the barstools will be located far, far away.

[helenjp]

A kitchen where I only had to "chat" to ONE person while cooking??? Oh lead me to that idle, lotos-eating paradise!

Try...

"Muuuuuum, does the character "sou" have two horizontal lines or three, you know which "sou" I mean, Muuuum. Can you come and get the 5lb. dictionary down for me right nooooow?"

"Muuuuuuum, I fell downstairs while practicing my violin and dancing on the landing, and there's a piece of wood fallen out of the violin and I broke the umbrella I fell on top of as well..."

"Hello, quick question - do you have the file up on the screen in front of you? What do you mean, you're not in the office? You're nearly done editing it, but not actually finished?? This doesn't mean that you haven't started on it yet, by any chance?"

Brrrriing! "Hello, I've come to pick up the annual neighborhood fund dues, I'll need exact change, that's 3,642 yen, we don't actually issue receipts, but could you get out your family seal and stamp it here where it says 'receipt received'?"

As for sharing kitchen with husband....just how many inches of my 18" by 9" prep area am I supposed to hand over! And since I normally lean from the prep area to reach the cooktop which is jammed in the angle behind the microwave, it isn't possible for two people to prep and cook at the counter/stove/sink area. (At least, if one person is prepared to use the chopping board balanced over the sink, and put one leg on top of the garbage pail, it can be done, it can be done...).

Anybody helping with prep is banished to the dining table with chopping board, knife, and strict instructions not to pick up the TV remote until the knife has been laid to rest. Chat is allowed, but no tickling while holding knives.

On the other hand, the big pickling jobs of the year require husband to come home early, get a beer in one hand, and settle to the job of chatting and drinking while drying off plums to be salted for umeboshi, layering Chinese cabbage for hakusai-zuke, or hurling balls of mashed soybeans and rice culture into pots for miso.

[stovetop]

It is all about control; chefs are control freaks, whether it is at home or at a restaurant, after 24 years I decided to let go of control, wow!!; my heart rate goes down and it has become fun again.

A chef can not do every thing forever, some point and time one has to let go, deligate; with deligation comes fear, are they going to be able to do it as well as me, or are they going to do it my way.

NO!!; they wont do it your way, turn your eyes away and the minute you are not around they will do it their way.

Do not worry, let go!!!

stovetop

[Chef Shogun]

I recently moved into a new place with some friends, so for the first time I sometimes have people milling around when I cook (or do much of anything, really), and it's kind of irritating.

"Hey Matt, you cooking??" --Roommate 'A', while I'm very obviously standing there cooking

"...." -- Me

Still though, I don't have this problem much. I'm usually alone when I cook. So alone...

[chromedome]

He does have a nasty habit of trying to kiss me on the neck while I'm cutting or working over flame.

During our first few months together, my wife-to-be had the dangerous habit of pinching my butt while I was absorbed in cutting and chopping. Fortunately, I broke her of that one quickly enough to retain all of my digits.

[redfox]

Helen's rendition of household chaos is the best!

[JerzyMade]

I seem to have the opposite problem. The closer it gets to plating the food the harder it is to find my wife around the kitchen.

[stovetop]

I seem to have the opposite problem. The closer it gets to plating the food the harder it is to find my wife around the kitchen.

LOL

stove