Sending food back...

aidensnd2 · May 9, 2004

I was just reading the salad dressing in the side thread and noticed that a lot of people said that they would send a salad back if they didn't like the dressing which brought me to this question.

If you order something and it comes out as it was described but you simply don't like it for whatever reason would you send it back? I'm not talking about a problem with the dish such as it being over/under cooked, cold etc... but if the only problem is that you don't like the flavor is that considered an acceptable reason to send it back?

I have no problem returning a meal if there is something wrong with it but have never felt comfortable returning it based on taste. I figure if I get what I order and don't like it that's not the restaurants problem.

Anyone else?

Thanks

Dan

Pan · May 9, 2004

If it tastes so bad I can't eat it, I send it back, except in a place where I've figured they are clueless and I have no chance of getting anything tolerable, in which case, I either take a loss or ask for the food to be taken away and taken off my bill and then settle up and leave while still hungry. (Note: I seldom send stuff back, so my minimum standards aren't ridiculously high.)

NulloModo · May 9, 2004

I rarely send things back, in fact, the only time I ever do is when meat comes out blatantly cooked in a manner which is not what I requested, and even then if it is over-done (how hard is it to cook something rare, come on).

However, I see no problem in sending something back if you truly do not like the taste of it and will not eat it, but in this case you still ordered it, and if it was prepared properly and you simply didn't like it, you should still pay for it.

mnebergall · May 9, 2004

At a restaurant in Seattle one time, I ordered some sort of fish with a pasta on the side. The fish was so salty that I could not eat it. The waiter asked me if there was a problem and I told him. Apparantly, they tasted it back in the kitchen and agreed. They took it off my bill. But, I did not send it back to the kitchen.

Pan · May 9, 2004

NulloModo, my solution is a little different. I don't expect to pay for something I sent back, normally (though sending stuff back is so unusual as to be sort of abnormal for me), but I do up the tip if the waiter was cooperative.

ElfWorks · May 9, 2004

if i dont like something, but it was prepared as i expected it to be , then no, i dont send it back. i do hope that one of my fellow diners will take pity on me and switch or i hope that the waiter will notice the pathetic look on my face and ask what's wrong.....

but i dont send it back, now if the waiter OFFERS me another choice for dinner, i am all over that!

xo

Rebel Rose · May 9, 2004

I rarely, rarely send food back, but sometimes the dish I ordered is not what I get! An attentive owner or chef will make sure the menu thoroughly describes the dish, but sometimes it just happens that the menu description is misleading or inaccurate. While I would probably scarf it anyway, I understand that some diners have been looking forward to their dining experience all day and would be severely disappointed if the dish isn't as described. Then I think it would be appropriate to send it back. I don't think it's appropriate to refuse a dish just because it contains one ingredient you don't like that could be easily removed, like nuts or olives. Can't imagine it myself. I even eat the parsley. Excuse me, can I have yours too?

aidensnd2 · May 9, 2004

now if the waiter OFFERS me another choice for dinner, i am all over that!

That's another thing that confuses me, when the waiter sees that you aren't pleased with your meal and offers to get a different dish I'm never sure if I'll end up paying for both of them.

It always seems like the more I'm looking forward to a meal the less pleased with it I am. Normally it's no fault of the kitchen it's more me just not liking the flavor pairings or something like that. Guess it doens't help that I'm a picky eater.

Dan

lala · May 9, 2004

If the dish matches the description, with all ingredients present and accounted for, and prepared well, and I don't like it, then I shouldn't have ordered it, and it's my problem. If the dish doesn't match the description, is missing ingredients, or is out of whack (say, too vinegary, or an offensive amount of rosemary), it goes back.

As an example, I ordered a 'Seafood Melange' (horrible name, I know) in Mendocino, and one of the ingredients, Capers was the predominant flavor in the dish. When I seperated the capers from the seafood, there was a good half cup of them! Now, capers are just fine in their place, but when the volume is as much as the main ingredient, and it's all I can taste, it's a problem. I sent it back, and they nicely brought out a fresh version of the entree, with appropriate caper volume, and it was quite nice.

suzilightning · May 9, 2004

i have had this problem only twice i can remember - once here where i am known the other time up in vt dining at aplace the fil had recommended and given us a gift certificate for.

here in nj the barmaid saw i wasn't eating the food i ordered - supposed to be an upscale cheese steak but for some reason it DID NOT WORK. really fatty meat, cheeze whiz(not a bad thing) and severely underccoked onions. she offered to replace it but i couldn't handle the idea of eating anythhing coming out of that kitchen on that day. she comped me all but my beer and i tipped on the full price of beer and food.

in vermont, i guess since we were not known, the outcome was less than felicitous. appetizer of peanut noodles with shrimp was ok. entrees were so over salted - HOW CAN YOU F*^K UP MASHED POTATOES AND DUCK BREAST - that i could not eat them. the house asked if anything was wrong and i said the food was overly salty. they did say they were in the middle of changing chefs so the kitchen was staffed with sous only - no supervising or head or any other type of chef. unfortunately john then said i was salt sensative - no it was freakin tooooooo salty - and it was ok. the house did not remove the charge though i did not eat the dinner and refused any alternate since i had tasted john's filet and that was oversalted to the point of inedible. they did offer to buy us an after dinner drink though all i wanted to do was get out of that hell hole. we did take john's filet home with us and the only way he could eat it was after i washed all the sauce off of it.

Pan · May 9, 2004

That's another thing that confuses me, when the waiter sees that you aren't pleased with your meal and offers to get a different dish I'm never sure if I'll end up paying for both of them.

If the first dish won't be comped, the offer to replace it with something else is in bad faith. At the very worst, if the first dish cost more, one could be charged the higher price, though I find that in very poor form and will hold it against a restaurant. In the first case, I would object to being charged for something I didn't eat and would try pretty hard to get the charge taken off the bill, perhaps to the point of saying I won't pay for it, if I received a really stubborn response. In the second case, I would call the waiter and ask for an explanation, then pay the bill, presumably with a somewhat ungenerous tip, and not return to the restaurant.

The only time I can remember having a waiter essentially insist on removing a dish after I asked a question about it (Me: "Is this really supposed to be so tough?" Him: "Yes." Me: "OK.") and then charging me for the higher price of the dish I originally ordered, the attitude of the establishment was distinctly unfriendly, and the whole front-of-the-house crew seemed personally offended by my whole response, which was odd because honestly, I had been polite the whole time, and I wouldn't even ask them to remove the dish until the waiter had insisted like three times. They were at fault. It was a Vietnamese restaurant in Paris 7ieme, and the dish was seiche (the sort of spinal column analog of cuttlefish). The sauce was delicious, but the seiche was so chewy as to be virtually inedible. I've since been to restaurants that serve the same part of the cuttlefish and it's been tender (e.g. in good Greek restaurants). Needless to say, I was not tempted to return for another meal at that establishment. But tipping was a pretty irrelevant issue for a reasonably inexpensive meal in France.

Edited May 9, 2004 by Pan (log)

Pickles · May 9, 2004

I send food back if it's improperly cooked or otherwise flawed. Some examples:

Raw broiled chicken...bloody at the bone. Sent it back 3 times for more cooking. Manager came out and said it was perfectly cooked. They gave it to me for free. After I squawked. :blink:

Salmon arrived raw in center. If I want sushi, I'll order it. Sent it back. Got it cooked right.

Pesto on a piece of fish that was all GRIT. No one could have tasted that sauce and not got a mouthful of sand. Sent THAT back. Got free dessert.

Chicken Parm that was undercooked and spongy in texture...at a *nice* restaurant. Sent THAT back for more fire. Got free dessert!

I am jinxed when it comes to dining out. :sad: Something usually goes way wrong! :wacko:

balmagowry · May 9, 2004

I very rarely send anything back, unless

1) there's something clearly wrong with it ("Sorry, sir, the fish is a bit... off....");

2) it isn't cooked as I ordered it - and I'm pretty explicit: greyly well-done is no acceptable substitute for bloody! Even then sometimes I'll compromise, though I always regret it afterward: but what can you do when the steak arrives only slightly overdone and you're really REALLY hungry...? Alas, really REALLY hungry generally wins out over slightly overdone until I've taken the edge off of the really REALLY hungry... by which time I've eaten enough to know I should have held out for what I ordered, but I've also eaten enough to feel that I've forfeited my right to send it back. Sigh. No strength of character; at least, not the kind that stands a chance against my appetites....

3) it isn't what I ordered. That includes the time I ordered a Dover sole at the Four Seasons and sent it back because it arrived filleted. Felt a little bad about that because it was perfectly lovely fish, beautifully prepared (to this day I pray that that fish somehow escaped going to waste). But as Pickles says, if I want sushi I order sushi - and if I had wanted filet of sole I would have ordered filet of sole. There are few things more deflating than getting all psyched to do a perfect skeleton job, only to discover that some well-meaning soul in the kitchen has robbed you of your evening's entertainment.

[Obligatory disclaimer: (A) I was very nice about it and of course so were they; (B) I had ordered the same dish at the same restaurant many times before, so I knew it was not - or at least never had been - their custom to filet unasked. Otherwise I would have specified - as I have learned always to do since that incident! - that I wanted it on the bone.]

ruthcooks · May 9, 2004

I send back anything that has blood showing or that I can't stand cause it's purely foul or cold or whatever. I've learned that keeping it and being disappointed ruins the meal for not only me, but everyone else.

My daughter's family took me out to Max and Erma's for my birthday in March. I had not been there before (think Applebees + meatloaf or Chili's + meatloaf, etc.) and the waiter forgot to put in my order. Told me I would not have to pay and put order in. Arrived after everyone else was almost done, and was incorrect. Oh, well, ate it anyway, just wanted to get out of there.

Tomorrow they are going out for Mother's Day to Outback. It's my daughter's favorite restaurant so it's her day, not mine. Crowds, plus eating a big meal at noon when I'm never hungry, plus not liking the restaurant, plus getting up about 3 hours before I usually do. Such a treat. She bought me a gardenia plant, which I love, but it has bugs on it. Do I see a pattern here?

***

Here's a story about a cute waiter on a cruise ship: Fernando said to our table, practically every day, "Now, if you don't like your food, I'll take it back." He harped on it all the time and actually seemed disappointed when everyone was satisfied.

On about day four, I ordered a dish of some fish, possibly Snapper Vera Cruz. Fish and tomatoes, ick. I motioned Fernando over. "I. Don't. Like. This," I said.

"THAT'S what I like to hear!" said Fernando. Made his day.

Pickles · May 9, 2004

Tomorrow they are going out for Mother's Day to Outback. It's my daughter's favorite restaurant so it's her day, not mine. Crowds, plus eating a big meal at noon when I'm never hungry, plus not liking the restaurant, plus getting up about 3 hours before I usually do. Such a treat. She bought me a gardenia plant, which I love, but it has bugs on it. Do I see a pattern here?

They better hold you back when the waitron comes and *sits next to you* all cozy-like, and rubs your back and gets all "Hi Mama's Day Lady!! My Name Is TAD And I'll Be Your Server Today!!! :biggrin: " on you! :raz:

auntdot · May 9, 2004

Am with most posters in that I essentially never send food back, particularly in inexpensive restaurants (and my definition of inexpensive is fairly broad). If I ordered the steamed clams and they sent out a steak, yeah, I'd point out the error.

Except in a fine steak place (a restaurant that basically has sixteen different extents to which they will cook the beef, warm on the outside, cold on the inside, that sort of thing.). Those guys take their handling of a steak seriously, and would send one back that was significantly overdone. Fortunately, have never had that happen.

But in places that do not consider cooking a steak a work of art, have to play the game.

If I order it medium rare, and explain that to me means warm on the outside and warm, but pink to red inside, will I get it that way?

The answer, in my experience, is usually not. It is usually well overdone. So therefore I often order it rare, hoping for medium rare to arrive.

But if they have not cremated it, will probably eat it anyway.

And not return to the restaurant.

On very rare occasion have gone to very fine restaurants and received clearly substandard food.

Each time I complained have been told there has been a problem with the kitchen (they are in the process of getting a new chef, that sort of thing) and have had the matter remedied.

Most of the time though, am out for a good time, order another drink, eat what I can, pay the tab, and just go home.

aidensnd2 · May 9, 2004

I'm always amused when an excuse like; "We just got a new chef", "We're in the middle of changing chefs." or something along those lines is used as an explanation for substandard food. If the rest of the chefs/cooks can't cook without someone staring over their shoulder then I figure it's not going to be all that much better when the chef situation is resolved...

markk · May 9, 2004

if the only problem is that you don't like the flavor is that considered an acceptable reason to send it back?

Absolutely.

There is some kind of presumption that the restaurant food you're paying for will be enjoyable.

This said, there are a few things that even I take into consideration. I would never order a dish whose description listed ingredients that I know I don't like. And depending on the type of restaurant it was, I'd let my instincts guide me as to how adventurous to be in my ordering, whether to order any sauce on the side, etc.

But over all, I just assume, nicely for sure, that I'm paying money for food that I will enjoy. if it's not enjoyable, I tell the waiter that I don't like it. What happens next is of course out of my hands. If they change it (and change it for something better), I'm ahead of the game. If they reply "well, that's too bad", well, I haven't lost anything.

But when I'm the paying customer, I always speak my mind - nicely, as I've said, but always.

(And not just in restaurants, either.)

johnnyd · May 9, 2004

After running a busy little oyster bar (an extension of the lounge in a surf n' turf place) for three years, I became pretty demanding when I ordered oysters elsewhere. If I produce a half-dozen that looks and tastes like a masterpiece, so should every other shucker worth their scars.

One hot summer day here in Maine I went hunting for them. One place had a pile of Virginia oysters open and ready to serve on a bed of shaved ice, uncovered. No thanks. Besides, some of the best oysters on the planet were grown an hour east in the Damariscotta River! Why these?

The next place was more upscale so I expected better. The marble top bar had a copper pit just for the purpose. I settled in for a lager and watched the bar-back mangle a few littlenecks and cut himself opening the, once again, Virginia oysters which he laughed off. Fine, I said, I'll take a few freebies, but half of the clams were rancid, the juice of which ruined the plate. The oysters were tepid and shameful. I'd had a couple drinks so I got into this guy in short order. How can you risk serving this to people? If you're going to charge $2 each you better have them COLD and PLUMP. If you're going to encourage tourism, USE LOCAL product.

I got so steamed up I ended up opening my own Oyster Bar on a restored Lobsterboat, cruising the local islands in search of drunken rich people at anchor. I had a captive market (the perfect demographic), no overhead to speak of, and the BEST, FRESHEST oysters, clams and shrimp served with a variety of sauces. It was a hit... when the weather co-operated, but a total blast for three summers.

The Moral: A bad experience eating out can be truly inspiring!

Thank You :humble bow:

johnnyd

Bux · May 9, 2004

I send food back if it's improperly cooked or otherwise flawed. Some examples:
Raw broiled chicken...bloody at the bone. Sent it back 3 times for more cooking. Manager came out and said it was perfectly cooked. They gave it to me for free. After I squawked.
Salmon arrived raw in center. If I want sushi, I'll order it. Sent it back. Got it cooked right.

"Improperly cooked" may well be entirely subjective or a matter of regional, or other, differences. I happen to prefer broiled or roasted chicken a little bit red at the bone. Unfortunately, that's become a rather dangerous taste in terms of health in the US.

Salmon is an interesting example. I recall a time when most mid upscale restaurants in NYC would ask the diner how they preferred their salmon. At that time, the waiter might tell the patron that the chef prefers to cook it medium rare, or medium well done, implying it would be rare in the center. These days tastes have changed enough so that it just comes that way unless the diner makes a special request. "Right" is quite subjective. In most places, you can expect no more than cooked the way most people prefer it or how the chef likes to serve it.

chezlamere · May 9, 2004

any meat that is anything either than med well gets the heave ho. I hate blood swimming around on my plate.

I remember sending a club house sandwich back because the inside piece of toast was burned to a very black crisp. The other people at the table with me (my family) were all aghast. (that was when I was a teenager). I swear they all still hold their breath whenever they eat out with me.

I sent a bloody ceasar back because the clamato juice was bad.

Just recently a new Greek restaurant opened up in our neighborhood (love greek). My daughters and I make a habit of going out for dinner once a month. Dragged them both to it. Nothing looked familiar on the menu. Didn't even have Greek salad for god's sake. Or anything that resembled souvlaki. When I asked the waitress about this she explained (quite huffy) that this was Neuvo Greek. When the food came I realized what she meant was Peasant Greek. The food was awful. Truly awful. And the prices --- I ordered this prawn thing Prawns in tomato sauce appetizer for $18, there were four prawns only. It was good, but 4.50 a prawn in my books is a little high, considering that's all that was in the dish, prawns and a slury of tomato sauce. I can't believe they are still in business. The marinated aritichokes I buy at costco taste better. When she asked me how our meal was - well I just had to say that the orso thing was really awful and mushy and not what I expected. And to make a long story short it was removed from the bill. But I suffered and didn't send anything back. I did leave a very generous tip. Besides, there's are really really good greek one further down the road.

There's a new lebanese restaurent that just opened about two blocks away. That's our next target. Never been to one, any suggestions about what I should order? Looking forward to it.

tommy · May 9, 2004

If you order something and it comes out as it was described but you simply don't like it for whatever reason would you send it back? I'm not talking about a problem with the dish such as it being over/under cooked, cold etc... but if the only problem is that you don't like the flavor is that considered an acceptable reason to send it back?

i've met very few foods that i don't like.

i'll send it back if the product is in some way flawed. although i support anyone's right to send back anything at any time, as the restaurant is there to please the customer, even if they have to deal with a random pain in the ass every now and then. and i have little interest in getting into a debate with a server over whether or not the food on my plate that he/she is not eating is flawed, cold, or whatever.

Edited May 9, 2004 by tommy (log)

Pickles · May 9, 2004

"Improperly cooked" may well be entirely subjective or a matter of regional, or other, differences.

The topic is about why we send food back. So my term "improperly cooked" means "improperly cooked....for me." :wink:

Pickles · May 9, 2004

I ordered this prawn thing Prawns in tomato sauce appetizer for $18, there were four prawns only. It was good, but 4.50 a prawn in my books is a little high,

That $18 wasn't just for the prawns though. It was for the sauce on the prawns, the salary of the people who prepared the prawns....

Daniel Rogov · May 9, 2004

Several of my own rules of thumb:

Regardless of whether they have chosen to eat in a fast-food hamburger or pizza joint or a luxurious and expensive French or Italian restaurant, clients have certain rights and restaurateurs and chefs should be familiar with and respect these rights. At the same time, owners, chefs and waiters also have rights and these too must be acknowledged.

A customer is entitled to return any dish that he has ordered if, in his/her opinion, it has not been properly made or does not meet any special conditions he may have specified when he ordered it. Even if the customer is wrong and the decision was based entirely on likes or dislikes, the request that a dish be replaced should be honored. The knowledgeable customer will ask for a dish to be replaced after taking one or two bites. That, after all, is quite enough to know whether the fish is off, the meat has been overcooked or the sauce has curdled. Customers should be aware, however, that it is never appropriate to ask for a dish to be replaced after he has eaten one-third or more of the portion.

If, up to and including the main course, a customer has been so disgusted by a dish that has been served and cannot continue his/her meal, the customer should not be charged for anything but the wine or other beverages consumed.

There are two stages at which a table may return a bottle of wine. The first and most obvious is when the wine is first offered to one of the party and he or she rejects it as "off". Because not all of those who are allowed to taste the wine before it is poured are knowledgeable, there is a chance that he will accept the wine but, when it is poured there is agreement at the table that the wine is not as it should be. In such cases, as long as each of those at the table has taken only a small sip or two of the wine, it should be replaced. In cases where one third or more of the wine has actually been consumed before the bottle is returned, the restaurateur has the right to charge for the entire bottle.

I have been at restaurants and have seen clients return four bottles of wine before settling on one that they find acceptable. Frankly, I find that practice vulgar.

Best,

Rogov

Edited May 9, 2004 by Daniel Rogov (log)

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