Emeril inks five year deal

[jhlurie]

BAM! You are now sentenced to five more years...

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

Sharpen your spears and lock the children away. There's going to be some shock and awe.

[hjshorter]

Ew. I had no idea one of his restaurants was named Tchoup Chop. That's awful.

Say what you will about him, every one of his recipes that I've tried has been good. Really, really good in some instances.

[Hopleaf]

Even his live audiences have began to tire of his ridiculous antics. I was watching the other day when he did a show on Mexico (which would have made Bayless cackle with unabashed incredulity) and he did that mumbly "yeah baby" and there was absolutely no response from the audience. Of course they cheered enthusiastically when he added a little of his Essence to a dish he was preparing (can't remember what it was...maybe that's what I find most disturbing is that after watching a show of his, I don't remember anything he covered, you don't learn anything from him). Maybe the producer was holding up a sign that read "Cheer!" And those lingering audience shots of people looking longingly, nearly salivating, boring.

And I agree with hjshorter, of his recipes that I've tried, they all come out great. His show just bugs me. It's on all the time. They really make 90 episodes/year stretch.

[hjshorter]

And I agree with hjshorter, of his recipes that I've tried, they all come out great. His show just bugs me. It's on all the time. They really make 90 episodes/year stretch.

Emeril Live is on at least three times a day, right? And reruns all the damn time.

Essence of Emeril is much better. He has no personality, but at least he isn't capering around.

[dave88]

Talk about milking something for all its worth. I liked the part where he says he's looking forward to developing some great programming. I believe this means he's now the majority shareholder if already wasn't. I feel some sort of Faustian situation has happened, either with FTV or Emeril --maybe both-- but I can't say for sure.

FTV is the whore and Emeril is the pimp

The 'essence' show is tolerable (surprise).

Edited May 7, 2003 by dave88 (log)

[Lady T]

Gossipy, and slightly tangential from the main topic, but still Lagasse-centered: did I not hear that he and Wife No. 3 are about to have or have just had a young'un? Best wishes if true...

[Really Nice!]

I don't remember anything he covered, you don't learn anything from him.

Amen.

But, as I have said to friends, if he's getting people who have never been interested in cooking excited about food, then good for him. As long as they know that his show is an introductory course and they need to move on.

[=Mark]

I'd like to see Emeril and Flay face off for a real knock down drag out brawl...

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

And I agree with hjshorter, of his recipes that I've tried, they all come out great. His show just bugs me. It's on all the time. They really make 90 episodes/year stretch.

Emeril Live is on at least three times a day, right? And reruns all the damn time.

Essence of Emeril is much better. He has no personality, but at least he isn't capering around.

Ok agreed, the guy writes a good recipe. Does that excuse the band away, the kung-fu, the "You're gonna wanna stir it like such's?" Does that excuse Emerilware? The Black Hole Sun, I've seen the holyland glaze of his audience? I think a future chef can ascertain his potential within the career by how much he likes Emeril. It all comes down to do you want to bark like a coked out seal or cook real food for stoics and real folks.. If my customer base acted like that in my presence I'd be doing stand up--because they certainly wouldn't be in my kitchen. Food as a dog and pony show is as annoying if not more so than the graphics Fox News used for The Iraq War. Coming soon...The Bamming of Basra Have we learned anything from killing babies. Story at 11:00. Food is fire, flame, magic not five year deals and designer tupperfuckingware. If anyone wants to start a petition against five more years of this I'll sign it personally.

I can see this thread being merged with the 14 others.....

Edited May 7, 2003 by Chef/Writer Spencer (log)

[hjshorter]

designer tupperfuckingware

That's the last thing we need. That stuff multiplies like rabbits as it is.

On topic...I like the idea of food being fire, flame and magic, but on most days that ain't exactly what's happening in my kitchen. Sad to say, I'm TFN's core audience demographic, mid 30's homemaker who cooks every night and does the shopping. Just look at the ads they sell. It's true.

And as such, I find that much of their programming - gasp - interests me. Many, many of the recipes I make all the time come from TFN.

So I don't see them changing their tune any time soon.

[Hopleaf]

I'm right there with you, but they shouldn't be extending our misery by five more years of the Ewok (© bourdain). They should be extending the contracts of the likes of Rachel Ray (just 30 minute meal, not $40 a day), Alton Brown, that Bourdain character, etc.).

Great, Emeril helped build the network. Thanks and good-bye, have a nice life. They've done enough for him. It would've been a good time to part ways. How much more could the guy do for them. I object to the decision FTV made, that's all. They should've realized that he's becoming (if he hasn't already) a two-dimensional charicature of himself, a clown with the wrong address that shows up to the bachelor party instead of the 9-year old's. His product lines aren't designed or intended for the people who watch the network on a regular basis and cook nightly. They're for that uncategorizable mass of people that first hear of Emeril when they're shopping at the local wal-mart and pick up his latest line of tupperfuckin' ware (great line, btw, Chef/Writer Spencer).

Clearly I'm not pulling the strings on this marrionette, but if I were, my other hand would've been weilding some poultry shears.

[Bux]

But, as I have said to friends, if he's getting people who have never been interested in cooking excited about food, then good for him. As long as they know that his show is an introductory course and they need to move on.

I wonder if they are excited by food or just by the chef's antics. As others have said, if I watch a show, I can't always figure out what he's doing and when I know what he's doing, I wonder why the camera isn't helping him explain what he's doing. It just never appears as if it's a show about teaching anything let alone basics. It's not introduction to cooking 101. I saw it as being in the kitchen taking your mind off what's needed to make a dish turn out right. I've tried saying "bam," but it never improved anything I was cooking. Maybe you just have to be a believer.

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

Look at it this way...the guys still pulls the most in the neilsons so the network is going to be hesitant to cow tow to us disgruntled realists. These putzes in the board rooms want to make money for the network so they can justify their jobs, they got a good reliable dog and he's running good track. They may not like Emeril (a fact I'm betting against but hoping for) but he's their cash cow, they're bread and butter. As for Emeril getting all big and shit. He's got no where to go. Where do you go when you get too big for the food network? NBC? The guy tried the sit-com so he knows deep down that he's going to fail at any new stab at the bigs. He ought to get back in his fucking kitchens from what I hear lately. But seriously, he's going to stick with the Food Network like a violinist on the Titanic because he's got no where left to go except back to what made him money in the first place--hard work and dirty skillets.

Edited May 7, 2003 by Chef/Writer Spencer (log)

[hjshorter]

I'm right there with you, but they shouldn't be extending our misery by five more years of the Ewok (© bourdain). They should be extending the contracts of the likes of Rachel Ray (just 30 minute meal, not $40 a day), Alton Brown, that Bourdain character, etc.).

All true. Emeril Live is the show I am least likely to watch - well except maybe $40/day.

And C/W Spencer, I agree that he's got nowhere to go except back to the rest biz. I'm sure he's living the high life right now comparatively speaking.

[hollywood]

He must be happy. Hey, if you got your 15 minutes extended for 5 years, you'd be happy, too.

[Varmint]

All I know is that my mother, who isn't the greatest cook in the world and knows that I'm food obsessed always asks me, "Have you ever seen Emeril? I just love him and his show!" I just grit my teeth in a grin and let her know that I've seen bits and pieces of it. I think my mother is a typical viewer, by the way.

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

He must be happy.  Hey, if you got your 15 minutes extended for 5 years, you'd be happy, too.

Wait just a minute...when was anyone worried about Emeril's happiness? As one human to another I wish the guy no harm. He seems like a genuinely good guy. But as a culinarian he's dancing the tango with granny panty lines showing and work boots on. He's a truck driver of a chef (. Yet he's the guy 15 year old Johnny Sycophantic Johnson and Wales recipient of the sharpest knife award wants to become after graduation. To true culinarians that's a slap in the face.

Anyhow, I'm done Emeril bashing, that's so 2001. May they link this shit all together into one big time capsule and bury it in the back yards of our discontent. Emeril only wins if we keep rehashing.

Edited May 7, 2003 by Chef/Writer Spencer (log)

[Pollux]

Truck driver. How do you account he has half a dozen successful restaurants and he's been a successful restaurant chef for years which I don't see with Alton Brown or even Tony Bourdain.

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

Truck driver.  How do you account he has half a dozen successful restaurants and he's been a successful restaurant chef for years which I don't see with Alton Brown or even Tony Bourdain.

Truck Driver. and he's not a chef anymore. He's a television personality with a Bragard extra starch on. Entrepreneur? OK. Bourdain fully admits to selling out, and pokes fun at his change of heart. Alton Brown, unless I'm missing something, never claimed to be a chef.

[Hopleaf]

Chef Spence, I'm sure you can hold your own, but may I...

no one said he was a truck driver. It's a similie, used for emphatic stress. "He's a truck driver of a chef."

It's kind of like saying "Joe's an elephant in a china shop in the kitchen." That's not to say that Joe's actually an elephant creating havoc in a china shop, breaking a bunch of priceless dishes, but that he's somewhat clumsy in the kitchen.

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

I'm right there with you, but they shouldn't be extending our misery by five more years of the Ewok (© bourdain). They should be extending the contracts of the likes of Rachel Ray (just 30 minute meal, not $40 a day), Alton Brown, that Bourdain character, etc.).

Great, Emeril helped build the network. Thanks and good-bye, have a nice life. They've done enough for him. It would've been a good time to part ways. How much more could the guy do for them. I object to the decision FTV made, that's all. They should've realized that he's becoming (if he hasn't already) a two-dimensional charicature of himself, a clown with the wrong address that shows up to the bachelor party instead of the 9-year old's. His product lines aren't designed or intended for the people who watch the network on a regular basis and cook nightly. They're for that uncategorizable mass of people that first hear of Emeril when they're shopping at the local wal-mart and pick up his latest line of tupperfuckin' ware (great line, btw, Chef/Writer Spencer).

Clearly I'm not pulling the strings on this marrionette, but if I were, my other hand would've been weilding some poultry shears.

Oh hopeleaf...man was i really tuning in to your commentary...that is until i saw you put The Black Hole Sun girl herself (otherwise known as the queen of clean--Rachel if it comes shrink wrapped and chopped Im buying Ray-- into the same catergory as Bourdain and Alton Brown. Of course to each his/her own. But watching her cook reminds me of why I'll never make in food television. I don't smile when I fucking hack at my finger with a dull Henckel.

[bourdain]

No matter how agonizing you find his show (as I do), you have to admit a few basic facts about the Life of Emeril:

He's a Fall River Mass kid who worked his way up the line. He ran a busy, by all accounts, very decent operation at Commanders...He started up and continues to oversee--by the very least charitable descriptions--some very good restaurants in New Orleans (I've met and drank with some of his chefs and cooks and crew--and they are NOT knuckleheads). He now sits atop a vast empire of restaurants, endorsements, merchandise, books and television shows--without as yet ODing. freaking out, hanging himself or going insane--as I would in a similar position. That show may make my blood run cold--and I truly don't know how he can look out at that crowd, but he is a significant entity Like it or not. He is, by professional standards (whatever you think of his recipes, his food or his delivery) neither a punk, nor a pretender. He put in his time And every day he does business, I'm making money from people who find him horrifying. And he's a constant and reliable source of Comedy Gold. Without him I lose half my act.

Edited May 7, 2003 by bourdain (log)

[Jason Perlow]

BAM!  You are now sentenced to five more years...

Damn, can't we put him in a tank, sedated with his brain running in perpetual la-la land like those convicted pre-crime killers in Minority Report?

(sorry, just saw the DVD)

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

No matter how agonizing you find his show (as I do), you have to admit a few basic facts about the Life of Emeril:

He's a Fall River Mass kid who worked his way up the line. He ran a busy, by all accounts, very decent  operation at Commanders...He started up and continues to oversee--by the very least charitable descriptions--some very good restaurants in New Orleans (I've met and drank with some of his chefs and cooks and crew--and they are NOT knuckleheads). He now sits atop a vast empire of restaurants, endorsements, merchandise, books and television shows--without  as yet ODing. freaking out, hanging himself or going insane--as I would in a similar position. That show may make my blood run cold--and I truly don't know how he can look out at that crowd, but he is a significant entity  Like it or not. He is, by professional standards (whatever you think of his recipes, his food or his delivery) neither a punk, nor a pretender. He put in his time And  every day he does  business, I'm making money from people who find him horrifying. And he's a constant and reliable source of Comedy Gold. Without him I lose half my act.

I think the best way to deal with Emeril besides using the guy in an occassional schticky situations like on eGullet is to let him fade away in to the mire without all of this back and forth. He did pioneer a thing or two so let's let him have his cake...I just personally refuse to watch him eat it. But we're goddamned forced to if we want to tune into food television.

I think everything's been said about the guy...Anything else is redundancy grounded in a cry for attention. Look at me...Look at me...I can Emeril bash better than Bourdain...Look, I can call him a hair lipped dough boy. Look I can point out that if he wore a fucking milk jug on his head he would look just like the Michelin Man. It's funny stuff but nothing worth taking with us into the next renaissance. Let's let Emeril go the way of the Cabbage Patch Kid and let's do it today.

Edited May 7, 2003 by Chef/Writer Spencer (log)