Worst meal at someone's home - Part 2

[run2eat]

However the best/awful part of the meal was the ham.  I was chewing down on a slice of ice cold ham when all of a sudden I taste something strangely familiar.  Holy crap, it was peanut butter!  They rubbed the ENTIRE outside of the ham with peanut butter. 

Is that a regional thing or what?  It was such a nasty combination too.  I know ham and sweet stuff go hand in hand...but not ham and peanut butter ):  Also cooked peanut butter has to be the nastiest thing ever.  Although I imagine a peanut butter and bacon sandwich to be absolutely delicious!

Blame Paula?

[cachan]

I guess I should've posted this a few weeks ago, but I recently had the WORST meal ever at a family friend's house. 

I cooked Christmas dinner this year for these family friends, so they thought they would return the favor by cooking a delicious New Year's Day meal.  Of course I was expecting only the best, because the wife cooks the most amazing Korean food.  This lady sends fresh kimchi down to me all the time and the best Nakji Bokkeum I have ever had.  Also her husband "apparently" loves to cook.  He gets regular subscriptions to various food magazines and has an extensive cookbook collection.  He has even given me some great cookbooks as well and back issues of Gourmet magazine.

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Assuming these friends were Korean, this looks like their attempt to cook non-Korean food and they were totally unfamiliar with European food, both as consumers and producers. Always a bad idea, stick to what you know best ! Maybe next time they invite you, try dropping hints that you would like Korean food.

[Syrah]

I guess I should've posted this a few weeks ago, but I recently had the WORST meal ever at a family friend's house. 

I cooked Christmas dinner this year for these family friends, so they thought they would return the favor by cooking a delicious New Year's Day meal.  Of course I was expecting only the best, because the wife cooks the most amazing Korean food.  This lady sends fresh kimchi down to me all the time and the best Nakji Bokkeum I have ever had.  Also her husband "apparently" loves to cook.  He gets regular subscriptions to various food magazines and has an extensive cookbook collection.  He has even given me some great cookbooks as well and back issues of Gourmet magazine.

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Assuming these friends were Korean, this looks like their attempt to cook non-Korean food and they were totally unfamiliar with European food, both as consumers and producers. Always a bad idea, stick to what you know best ! Maybe next time they invite you, try dropping hints that you would like Korean food.

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I think they probably thought they would be really impressing you by cooking western food, not realising that you really like Korean food. If I were you, I'd find some Korean dish to discuss with them saying that you'd love to taste it.. and see how that goes.

[SheenaGreena]

Wife was Korean, husband was full blown white American...no excuses (: hehe just kidding. I really do love this couple, the husband just served the worst dinner ever to me is all.

[Nomina]

Please bear with me as this is my first long post so there may be some mistakes. I have followed this thread for years and shared it with all my friends. At much urging from my boyfriend, I hereby add my worst meal.

In my case it was actually a day of the worst food in my life. One day during summer vacation long past (I was about 9 or 10 years old), my aunt told me she needed to go out that day with her new husband's family on some business. She gave me the choice of staying home or going with her. To this day, I rue my choice. It is a day forever lost to me.

My aunt and her husband were newly married and new immigrants to Canada. One or both of those conditions required her and my uncle to visit a governmental agency. Because of their unfamiliarity with the Canadian government, my uncle asked his brother, a Canadian resident of several years, to go with him. His brother agreed to go but made it a family outing for some reason unknown to me.

Arriving at the government agency that morning at 10:00 AM was my aunt, my uncle, my uncle's brother, my uncle's brother's two teenage sons and his wife, and me (for a total of seven people).

With typical government efficiency, we were all still there at noon. At this point, I was feeling hunger pangs and started whining to my aunt about lunch. My aunt consulted her husband and her new in-laws. They decided to save money and wait to eat at home. At this point in the story, I should point out that my aunt married into a family of people who transcended frugality long ago for their own level of extreme cheapness.

At 3:00 PM, my incessant whining and that of the two teenage boys finally broke down the adults enough that my uncle and his brother agreed to go to a nearby grocery store and bring back some food. As I loved (and still love) grocery shopping, I pouted my way into being taken along.

My uncle's brother went into the store and picked out a 1-gallon container of water and a loaf of marked down Wonder bread. My uncle tried suggesting that this might not be enough for seven people but was overruled by his brother. My uncle's brother then got one cup from a nearby fast food restaurant. We returned to the rest of the family and divided up the one loaf of bread. We took turns with the cup. I refused to partake of my unadorned bread and my portion was eaten by one of the teenage boys.

After we spent the entire day at the government agency, my uncle agreed to go back to his brother's house for dinner. My uncle's brother's wife then proceeded to serve us with frozen dumplings she had made earlier. The family lacked any dumpling sauce beyond soy sauce. At this point, I was too hungry to care. My first bite into that dumpling drizzled with soy sauce was my last. The filling consisted of ground pork and peanut butter in a ratio of at least 1 to 1. It was the most disgusting thing I ever put into my mouth. Looking around the table, I could see my uncle and his family calmly eating these things. In the case of the two boys, they were shoveling them in with relish.

After my aunt dropped me off at home, I ran into my mom's arms and burst into tears of hunger. At the end of this nightmarish day, my mother dried my tears and made another dinner just for me.

[JeanneCake]

Please bear with me as this is my first long post so there may be some mistakes.  I have followed this thread for years and shared it with all my friends.  At much urging from my boyfriend, I hereby add my worst meal.

. . .

After my aunt dropped me off at home, I ran into my mom's arms and burst into tears of hunger.  At the end of this nightmarish day, my mother dried my tears and made another dinner just for me.

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Dear God, how old was your aunt? And did she and her husband ever have kids? I hope not

Did your aunt ever apologize? I think I would have been seriously annoyed with my sister had she been the one to subject my 10 year old to a day without nourishment; and I would have not wasted anytime in telling her about it, either!

[ChocoLover]

this thread lives 7 years? how amazing it is! well my worst meal... hmm..

dine in some restaurant which has no thought about the food and yet charge you a horribly high amount. this is probably my worst ever experience in my life!

[SheenaGreena]

ahhh meat and peanut butter, I'll never understand the correlation honestly

[tino27]

ahhh meat and peanut butter, I'll never understand the correlation honestly

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I think it may be just particular meat and peanut butter pairings. I know that a nice chicken satay with a thai spicy peanut sauce is quite delicious. Then again, there's more than just peanut butter in the sauce.

[viva]

And I have to say that the peanut butter burgers in the Burger Cookoff thread are mighty fine - I think it's all in the ratio. The PB burgers certainly ain't 1:1.

Recent worst meal was a holiday gathering with:

- Turkey blasted in the oven for hours with no basting

- Saltiest ham on the planet

- Popeye's chicken picked up several hours earlier (I went straight for this - it was cold but edible)

- I've mentally blocked out the sides... there was something with black eyed peas in it. I went for the iceberg lettuce salad which was the least offensive.

- Potato chips and ranch dressing dip

- At least Grandma had brought some of her mac & cheese, so I was smart enough to take a large helping of this, as it disappeared quickly. Being one of the few things cooked well.

I'm still wondering why I spent the time making little holiday petit fours and brownies for dessert...

[JasmineL]

ahhh meat and peanut butter, I'll never understand the correlation honestly

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One of my favourite meals is a Zambian stew made using peanut butter, chicken, tomato paste and spinach. It's so delicious!

I just wanted to thank everyone for this incredible thread. I can't think of a story to contribute, but I have enjoyed reading all of your horrors.

[SheenaGreena]

ahhh meat and peanut butter, I'll never understand the correlation honestly

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I think it may be just particular meat and peanut butter pairings. I know that a nice chicken satay with a thai spicy peanut sauce is quite delicious. Then again, there's more than just peanut butter in the sauce.

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so true, you can't beat good "peanut sauce", but straight, cooked, pb on an overly salty ham is just nasty

[Waqas]

my first post

It has to be the asian desert called rassmali (dumplins made out opf asian cheese (paneer) in a creamy/milky sauce with a hint of cardamon, safron and pistashio), was horrid, too sweet, dry taste, not well cooked.

[Tom Gengo]

I took a date a friend's house and the hostess served a dish that I am not sure that it could be named... it was like a San Antonio Chile style of bouillabaise supposedly made w/ Mahi Mahi. I think that it was made w/ Puffer Fish ovaries. It was so bad that my lips tingled, my eyes watered and my entire gastrointestinal system threatened immediate and decisive revolt.

I literally gagged with the first bite. The "gagentree" was served atop undercooked pasta that was broken into pieces (a personal irritation.) Copious amounts of white lightening may have helped, but they do not drink alcohol.

Needless to say, my date asked that we go get something to eat when we left. Neither one of us ordered a fish entree.

[vloglady]

Oh, I LOVE that Laurie Colwin book. Love the books that have not only recipes but stories. I should go back and read it again.

susan

[Shinboners]

I think I provided the worst meal to one girl I had invited over for dinner. Mind you, things were doomed from the start. I thought she was attractive, so I asked her over to dinner and she accepted. That was all fine and good until she sent me an e-mail with a list of things she wouldn't eat - corriander, pork, coffee, tea, wine, offal, etc. etc. and that she liked her food nice and plain. Clearly, this was one relationship that wasn't going to get off the ground.

By 5.00 on Saturday afternoon, I still hadn't prepared anything for dinner. My motivation levels having sunk. After all, food is a passion of mine, and she wasn't going to be someone I could share it with. Eventually, I walked down to the supermarket, bought a piece of lamb to roast, and some pumpkin and potato to go with it. It was something simple and it wasn't going to take too much effort on my behalf.

Still, when you don't care about something, you tend to forget to do all the little things that make food good. I didn't let the lamb get up to room temperature before roasting (hence it ended up burnt on the outside and cold on the inside), and that led to the vegetables becoming burnt too. Since she didn't drink wine or anything with caffeine, it was just water to try and wash things down. It was by far the worst meal I had ever cooked, and I'm sure it was the worst meal that she had ever had.

Thankfully, she left soon after and I was happy to write her and the evening off.

As for bad meals I've had, my partner's dad once grilled us some salmon on the BBQ - for 30 minutes. On another evening, his (then) partner decided to cook us some vegetables, and she did this by letting them cook in the microwave for about 5 minutes. Nobody touched the vegetables that night.

[Poffertjes]

My Father-in-Law, bless his soul, is the fun combo of health conscience and cheap, as well as a good sprinkling of a love of 1950's cuisine, and all things italian-american. As a good old fashioned 2nd generation Italian American, its all gravy and noodles to him. He actually thinks every single restaurant he's been to in Italy is bad.

Here's a couple examples...

1. Homemade chicken noodle soup. Go to the discount grocery store and pick up the cheapest whole chicken they have, bring home, put the whole chicken in the biggest pot you own and fill it all the way to the top with water. No carrots, onions, celery, herbs or seasonings necesssary. Boil, not simmer. Boil for about 8 hours, so you make sure you get every last yummy drop of chickenness out of that poor bird. Take out chicken. Remove meat and return to pot with the celery, onions, carrots and noodles. No salt, we're concerned with high blood pressure. As soon as the noodles are cooked, serve. So the veg is still nice and al dente.

2. He went to Costco and bought a whole beef tenderloin, this is going to be good I thought. I watched him pull out the handy dandy probe themometer I bought him for Christmas the year before (safety first! Don't want a chance of getting triginosis) He sticks the sucker on the grill, turns it every so often until the themometer went off. He then waited the obligitory 10 minutes, maybe he's learning I thought. He then cut it into portions, determined it was too rare (really it wasn't, it was perfect) and then put it in a pan and stuck it under the broiler in the oven for 20 minutes, until it was all........very, very well done.

3. My first holiday away from my family. No mom's stuffing. No Uncle Bruce's oyster stuffing. No perfectly cooked juicy turkey. No Grandma's cranberry salads. None of the things that make it a holiday. I'll survive. So down to Florida we go. Oh, you want to go play a couple holes of golf while the turkey's in the oven? Sounds great. They do live on a golf course, and the course was closed for the holiday and all the neighbors were sneaking out for a couple holes..... 18 holes later. The turkey was very, very well done. Oh, how juicy and wonderful this turkey is, my mother-in-law commented. Husband and I quietly ate the dark meat that wasn't complete charcoal.

This is only coupled with this past thanksgiving, where they came to visit us in Chicago as I had recently given birth. My brother is in Culinary School. He and I consulted on the menu well before I went into labor. The fresh turkey was ordered. We were going to have everything that made it a holiday (see above). The turkey was divine. The sides were fabulous. Grandma's cranberry salads went over great. Then it was time to put away the left overs. Father-in-law took charge of carving up the remains of the bird. Now the in-laws are big white meat people, its healthier you know. So Father-in-law is carving up the bird. Gets all the white meat in the tupper ware, and we've already discussed how my culinary student brother was coming over on saturday to make the stock, goes to put the rest of the carcass in the big ol' freezer bag. With all the remaining dark meat on it.... Husband, bless his soul, had stoffers frozen lasagna in his freezer when I met him, says "dad, we want that meat"

He now assists in Lasagna Sundays where we make a mess of lasagnas with homemade bolognese, homemade spinach noodles, and a nice bechemel. With a freezer full of lasagnas, somehow they never get pulled out when the in-laws are visiting.

Husband decided he was going to perfect his minestrone recipe this winter. The first experiement he called his wonderful ol' Nonna. Nonna? Whats in your minestrone? "well you start with a can of Cambell's Tomato Soup...." He stopped writing.

[LizD518]

I come back to this thread every so often for a good laugh, and have even contributed a story of my own. But I have to say, at one time I thought a lot of these stories were greatly exagerated, until I recently saw the new Food Network show "worst Cooks in America". It sounds like a few of those cooks may have been the culprits of some of the atrocities of this thread!

No new horrible meals to contribute...knock wood...

[Badiane]

Bump...

Surely someone has had an experience this year they can share!

[Mano]

My mother, who is unwittingly vying for the Guinness' Book of World Records Most Anxious Woman on Earth, and who is equally well meaning and eager to please roasted a chicken. I was working nearby it was clear she was used to cooking for herself and my dad using only the toaster oven to save money (of which they have plenty). Thinking she timed the microwaved frozen vegetables and potato with the chicken we sat down to eat, but the bird was still red and bloody.

Her attempt to break it down into pieces was a good idea. But instead of using a knife, she took two forks, one to hold the chicken and the other to try and separate some breast meat, pulling some small chunks away but mostly mauling the un- and under-cooked meat into a stringy mess. Frantic to get the chicken cooked she popped it back into the toaster oven and took it back out a few minutes later hoping it was done.

She repeated this ritual on different parts of the chicken about three times, leaving the toaster oven door open each time she worked on the bird. It was truly disgusting and sad and my mom was in a tizzy. Eventually I told them it was time to get home to the wife and baby daughter and the most important thing was spending quality time with them.

[plum tart]

Years ago my husband and I were invited to dinner at colleagues of his, in the television business. Both Alan and I had reputations as adventurous and curious cooks so our hosts had determined that they should cook us something exotic and foreign. They decided to cook meloukhia, an Egyptian soupy stew made with fresh jute leaves, a variety of spices and sometimes chicken. I don't believe they had eaten the dish before, nor that they had a recipe for it.

In any event what we sat down to at dinner was a grey green tasteless muck with no chicken or spices to be found. The erstwhile cook was very pleased with herself. Unable to find fresh meloukhia leaves she had searched out and found boxes and boxes of dried meloukhia leaves, and with the addition of water and nothing else she had made our meal. There were no accompaniments, just the pasty sludge that went by such a lovely name.

We had a terrible time choking it down - it had no flavour and a ghastly texture and I recall not being able to finish it.

In addition, the couple and several cats - 4 or 5 which they allowed to roam on the table while they were dining. The cats wandered here and there (they certainly weren't interested in the meloukhia) and were fed meat tidbits. I was actually envious of them - they ate better than we did. However, I did not appreciate their presence and their food on the table with ours.

It was an appalling evening and we never visited again. Maybe we weren't sufficiently appreciative guests (I didn't ask for the recipe) but even now I can't think of that "meal" withoug gagging.

[kayb]

When my former mother-in-law first acquired a microwave oven, she bought in to the propaganda that you could roast meat in it. Tried it with a nice rib roast (I can cook it in 15 minutes when we get back from church!) Think gray leather. The microwave was thereafter relegated to heating stuff up.

[ScottyBoy]

A British friend of mine had claimed she was the worst cook she knew. A dinner party at her house when she attempted Kugel was all the evidence I needed.

[runwestierun]

I come from a very cold place. I'd decided I'd had my lifetime's allotment of snow, so I moved 2000 miles away. I was nice and warm, but lonely without family on the holidays.

A college friend took pity on me and invited me over for Thanksgiving. Oh but Thanksgiving is so much food! What shall we do???

She decided Thanksgiving was too much food, and to teach plump little me a lesson, decided to break it up. She decided to have Thanksgiving appetizers on Tuesday, Thanksgiving side dishes on Wednesday, Thanksgiving turkey on Thursday and Thanksgiving desserts on Friday. I was invited for Thursday.

The turkey was cooked some previous day in order to make gravy for the Wednesday side dishes out of every molecule of moisture in the bird. And just in case some moisture remained, the entire bird, the whole bird, was reheated Thursday to the point of dehydration. So we sat and stared and chewed. And chewed. And chewed. On our turkey. Which was served with water. No gravy. No potatoes. No stuffing. Not even a salt shaker.

I was so uncomfortable. It was horrible because the food was horrible and it was done that way to send an embarrassing message to me ("See how to eat right?"). I have never eaten a worse meal or been more uncomfortable at a dinner table. Yuck.

[DanM]

My inlaws like frozen veg and cooks the living daylight out of them... I am dying for a good plate properly cooked veg.

Dan