I will never again . . . (Part 3)

[lovebenton0]

Lessons learned today:

The blade on an immersion blender does not stop the second you turn off the power.

Blood from an index finger can squirt 4', and yes, blood does stain walls.

It is really hard to type without one's index finger.

I pitched the mayo I was making and realized that Hellman's is much safer.

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holy hellman's, susan! yeow! never cared much for that slightly orange mayo either. hope your finger is in repair. blood stains on newly washed walls? damn!

[MomOfLittleFoodies]

Lessons learned today:

The blade on an immersion blender does not stop the second you turn off the power.

Blood from an index finger can squirt 4', and yes, blood does stain walls.

It is really hard to type without one's index finger.

I pitched the mayo I was making and realized that Hellman's is much safer.

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You forgot the corollary to the index finger injury. They hurt a lot more than you think they would.

I'm short an index finger too. I put a sewing machine needle through mine, and the tip of the needle broke off.

[sazji]

Lessons learned today:

The blade on an immersion blender does not stop the second you turn off the power.

You forgot the corollary to the index finger injury. They hurt a lot more than you think they would.

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW! God, I get up in the morning, see "Topic Subscription Notice" from eGullet, and here, before my morning coffee has even kicked in, I'm reading "Fretty Kreuger's Kitchen!" Blood-tinted mayonnaise is also a bad choice for serving to vegetarians. They seem to sense that something's up.

Still, in my book the immersion blender, it's still one of the most "can't do without it" kitchen tools. I always remove the blade attachment before sticking my finger in.

However a few days ago, in an attempt to free a bit of pasta sticking to the bottom of a kettle with a wooden spoon, with one hand (i.e. not holding the pot with the other, which was occupied), I damn near pulled the entire pot of boiling water onto myself, so I won't praise myself for my common sense!

And after all the mandoline horror stories, I'd probably just sit across the room staring in fear if one ever got into my kitchen...

[snowangel]

I neglected to mention that blood is heavier than runny mayo...

[Lior]

I had to add mine!

I will never put used oil into the empty apple juice bottle - and into the fridge. Teen boys tend to gluk juice down while in the fridge straight from the bottle.

So the next time, I bought the poor kid apple juice ,he couldn't understand why the "oil" splattered so much while frying a very "sweet" egg!

No, I should not even save used oil-I know...

Lior

Edited September 24, 2007 by Lior (log)

[Poffertjes]

I thought the story was going to go in a different direction....

My son opened the fridge door, grabbed a bottle of what he thought was apple juice and started glugging it down. At which point he spewed said oil all over the refrigerator, the floor, the cabinets, the windows, etc.

Poor thing. I had used that oil to fry fish.

Not that your story isn't funny Lior, but I was just expecting it to go in a different direction.

[Lior]

Yes that is what he did- drank oil.!! I went to buy apple juice during the week, which he then used to fry his egg in!!

[Poffertjes]

And swallowed it? Wow.

Never estimate grodiness of teenage boys.

[snowangel]

Back to my finger, which is healing beautifully. I can't thank my husband enough for running out to the drug store and getting some kit that had a mess of steri strips (sp?). Anyone who is prone to cuts (yes, sharp knives cut, as do blender blades!) would be well advised to have them on hand. They are a huge improvement over band-aids.

[Smithy]

Back to my finger, which is healing beautifully.  I can't thank my husband enough for running out to the drug store and getting some kit that had a mess of steri strips (sp?).  Anyone who is prone to cuts (yes, sharp knives cut, as do blender blades!) would be well advised to have them on hand.  They are a huge improvement over band-aids.

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I'm glad to hear you're on the mend.

Please tell more about these steri-strips (sp?), because I'm forever on the search for good first-aid products. Are they like bandaids but smaller and straighter? More flexible? Are these the things that seal tightly over the wound like a second skin?

FWIW I got a lecture from my doctor earlier this year for the watertight bandage I put on a very bad finger slice. She told me that I shouldn't have used a waterproof bandage after the bleeding had stopped. Keeping it dry and allowing good air circulation, with a loose piece of gauze to protect it from bumps, is supposed to be the thing. I nearly went crazy for the next week, trying to keep that gauze on, but I did remember that we'd been taught the same thing in first responder class.

I hope this isn't too far OT. I do want to know about the bandage, but think the discussion is relevant to kitchen first aid.

[Kouign Aman]

When I cut my finger (I posted about it on here somewhere), I used a waterproof bandaid and left it on a week or so. Ugh. Do not do this. The damage from the bandaid took longer to heal than the original painful cut: contact dermatitis, peeling, swelling, my finger tip 'pruned' and stayed that way for over a month, and was hypersensitive. The cut healed nicely at about 10 days.

I wont stack a half glass of juice on top of a tupperware full of leftovers. Door-opening vibrations lead to a very clean kitchen floor. There was significant passage of time and expenditure of elbow grease in between the two events. The glass sort of threw the juice the way a jai alai ball gets thrown. Except the juice left a trail.

[Kerry Beal]

I will never again...

...use my nice brand new meat slicer without wearing the kevlar gloves that hubby gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago.

One of the perks of being a physician is the ability to sneak in the back door of emerg and leave with your nice clean pressure dressing in less than 30 minutes.

[phatj]

Nothing says love like Kevlar gloves.

[Dianabanana]

Obviously Kerry's husband knows just what she needs!

[andiesenji]

Preaching to the choir here. In spite of the condescending attitude of other people handling sharp instruments, I have always advocated (and used) blade-proof gloves when using sharp blades, other than a knife on a cutting board. My oldest ones are steel mesh from before the Kevlar age, and much more uncomfortable to wear.

My original mandoline came without a blade guard and I bought one of these gloves to use with it. The second one, still nearly thirty-years-old, did come with a blade guard and I used it then and use it still. I often had people tell me it was much faster to omit using it but I perferred to avoid stitches.

(Partly because I have a severe and life-threatening allergy to local anesthetics and figured that it would be much less painful to wear a glove instead of having stitches without going under a general anesthesia.)

Perhaps this idea of avoiding cuts became ingrained into my brain many, many years earlier, when I worked in a medical laboratory doing histology slide prep with a microtome.

Because of the friction of the blade moving over the surface of the specimen, one uses a piece of ice to cool the cut surface between passes with the blade.

I slipped one time only - that was enough. Not only did I remove a slice from the end of my left index finger, I bled onto the specimen. The pathologist was severely displeased and made his displeasure known. At full volume. Directly into my ear.

I never again made that mistake.

My fingerprint was permanently altered.

Use the gloves! Your husband is a Prince!

[torakris]

Besides the the average knife/grater cuts I have been pretty good in the kitchen lately, until this morning.

My son asked for nutella on bread for breakfast and the container had just enough that if scraped the container really well it would cover one slice of bread. It was quite stiff though and I was having a hard time spreading it so I thought I would pop it in the microwave for a couple seconds to soften it. It took only 3 seconds for the sparks to start flying, by 5 seconds it looked like the 4th of July in my microwave.

Apparently there was still a bit of foil around the rim...

[Domestic Goddess]

Kris, I swear this happened to me when I did the same thing with the peanut butter container that I was using for my chicken stock. I heard sparks flying and smelled something burning in the microwave before I realized what was happening. LOL

[Pierogi]

Oh Lordy, how I wish I could actually be sure that "I will never again......" do this.

Last week I had a serious craving for the shrimp & grits recipe in the final edition of "The 150 Best American Recipes" (great, great cookbook btw...). I went to make them, and realized I didn't have any Cheddar cheese in the house that I needed for the grits. Grumble....and postpone to this week.

So I drag home from work tonight, totally looking forward to my shrimp & grits (been thinking about them ALL day), and I get all the prep/meeze done and go to start the grits. I decide, what the heck, make 4 servings instead of 2, I can fry up the leftovers later in the week.

I read the instructions NO LIE , 3 times. In the back of my mind, the proportions seemed, well, off. But I blithely pour in 3C of water and 3C of grits. Which killed my brand new box of grits. As I dumped in the last cup of grits, I'm realizing instead of a nice, smooth, satiny potion, I've got something akin to cement. But I press on. I keep adding water to make it a bit less, erm.....turgid. Added a LOT more water. A LOT. More. Water.

Make the shrimp. Take the cover off the grits pan (which was a 2.5 quart sauce pan, full almost to the rim) dump in the cheeses and butter and seasonings, and the whole time I'm thinking.......geeeze, this is so weird how "crunchy" they still are, and how thick. Take one more look at the box.

Uhhhhhhhh, for 4 servings it was 3 cups water and 3/4 cups grits.

Oooooppps.

The shrimp didn't taste quite so good on a piece of toast.

And the bag that I schlepped to the trash can tonight weighed about 30 pounds.

This explains why my kitchen motto for many many MANY years has been "read the recipe, Roberta.........."

[prasantrin]

Today has been one sucky cooking day.

First my caramels--today was the day for making yuzu caramels. While the caramel was cooking, I began to prepare the pan. When I turned back to the stove, my caramel was very very very dark. My thermometer didn't go off at 145C! CRAP! I stirred the caramel a bit, and the thermometer went all the way up to 165C! But I figured maybe it would just taste slightly burnt, so I went ahead and added the butter, honey, and cream, and I took out my other candy thermometer as a back up.

Then, I dropped the candy thermometer into the caramel (melting off part of the plastic top), and decided just to chuck the whole thing--About $7 worth of ingredients down the drain.

Never again will I turn my back on the stove when making caramels.

Oh, but wait! My day of disastrous cooking is not quite done! I'm now making the Bouchon quiche. The crust rolled out just fine, and fit into the pan with nary a problem. I just checked on it--15 minutes into baking, and the overhang seems to have melted away, and I'm quite sure much of the sides have melted down as well. Crap. I definitely don't have enough dough to save it--what to do, what to do.

Today has just not been a good day for cooking. At least not in my house!

[andiesenji]

Today has been one sucky cooking day.

First my caramels--today was the day for making yuzu caramels.  While the caramel was cooking, I began to prepare the pan.  When I turned back to the stove, my caramel was very very very dark.  My thermometer didn't go off at 145C!  CRAP!  I stirred the caramel a bit, and the thermometer went all the way up to 165C!  But I figured maybe it would just taste slightly burnt, so I went ahead and added the butter, honey, and cream, and I took out my other candy thermometer as a back up.

Then, I dropped the candy thermometer into the caramel (melting off part of the plastic top), and decided just to chuck the whole thing--About $7 worth of ingredients down the drain.

Never again will I turn my back on the stove when making caramels.

Oh, but wait!  My day of disastrous cooking is not quite done!  I'm now making the Bouchon quiche.  The crust rolled out just fine, and fit into the pan with nary a problem.  I just checked on it--15 minutes into baking, and the overhang seems to have melted away, and I'm quite sure much of the sides have melted down as well.  Crap.  I definitely don't have enough dough to save it--what to do, what to do.

Today has just not been a good day for cooking.  At least not in my house!

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I feel your pain. Especially with the quiche. I finally resorted to making one of the "miracle" quiche recipes. the one I use is very like This One, sent out this past week by King Arthur Flour.

[prasantrin]

I feel your pain.  Especially with the quiche.  I finally resorted to making one of the "miracle" quiche recipes.  the one I use is very like This One, sent out this past week by King Arthur Flour.

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Maybe that's what I need! I just have to find some powdered milk...

But I do love the Bouchon quiche. The crust sank to about half the pan, so I used all four eggs and only about 250ml-300ml of the milk and cream I had heated up. I used the rest of the milk and cream (there was 600mL total, so whatever was left) to make some very rich hot cocoa. It was divine!

I haven't cut into my quiche, yet. I hope it doesn't taste too bad!

[Chris Hennes]

Never again will I turn my back on the stove when making caramels.

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I did the same thing this afternoon, except, instead of just overcooking the caramel, mine boiled over, dripping not only into he burner of my electric range, by right down the vent into my oven! No! I have no idea how to clean out that vent, and this means I can't try the frozen pizza cookoff I had planned for the Superbowl! No! I agree, bad cooking day...

[maggiethecat]

I feel your pain.  Especially with the quiche.  I finally resorted to making one of the "miracle" quiche recipes.  the one I use is very like This One, sent out this past week by King Arthur Flour.

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Maybe that's what I need! I just have to find some powdered milk...

But I do love the Bouchon quiche. The crust sank to about half the pan, so I used all four eggs and only about 250ml-300ml of the milk and cream I had heated up. I used the rest of the milk and cream (there was 600mL total, so whatever was left) to make some very rich hot cocoa. It was divine!

I haven't cut into my quiche, yet. I hope it doesn't taste too bad!

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I'm sure it will taste terriific -- it's hands down my favorite quiche recipe. Keller is right -- it needs to be a deep dish pie. I used a springform pan a little higher than the one he recommended, which took care of the pastry "slip back" problem.

[prasantrin]

I'm sure it will taste terriific -- it's hands down my favorite quiche recipe. Keller is right -- it needs to be a deep dish pie. I used a  springform pan a little higher than the one he recommended, which took care of the pastry "slip back" problem.

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It wasn't quite as good as usual, because I had the usual number of eggs, but only half the usual amount of milk and cream. I prefer the quiche to be more custardy than eggy. But it was still might tasty!

I use a ring-mould that's smaller than the recipe asks for (I think mine is 7 or 8 inches by 2 inches), but the full crust recipe, so that if I lose some crust, I'll have extra to make up for the loss. But this time, there was just too much of the crust gone. I think my crust was overprocessed, so the overhang melted off, and the crust in the mould melted down. Oh well, the crust sure did taste good!

I have a new one...

I will never again cover food in a pan at night, then reheat it in the morning, only to realize after it has reheated that the cover was a plastic microwave food cover. Oops. Not too much damage was done, but it's a good thing I have two of those covers! (and they're from the Y100 store, so it wasn't too much of a loss).

[trekflyer]

i live and work in a foreign country and am still learning the language. my chef had made some special dessert and left it in three sauce pans on the counter. The sous chef later came in a hurry and told me to "empty" the sauce pans. So! i just obviously thought to "empty" everything into the trash.... then of course, the chef came later looking for his precious dessert... turns out that he meant for me to "empty" it into a different container, not into the trash.... it's ok, it wasn't that good anyway.