Gaming the Chinese buffet

[markk]

Regarding the strategies for buffets, the rule I've found to be the most predictive of a good dining experience is the first one on the list - get there when everything is brand-spanking-new.  Even if you have to eat lunch at 11 a.m., it's worth it. 

Contrary to conventional wisdom, I could never eat lunch at 11 or dinner at 5, ever. I go at my normal dinner hour, late as that may be. This tells me what the food is actually like at that hour, whether they're still replenishing, or whether it's been sitting. If it's lousy at 9:30 at night, it doesn't help me to know that it'd be great at 5, because that's never going to happen with me.

[mizducky]

there's a Thai buffet I'm quite fond of

Who and where please.

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Thai Cafe in Clairemont Mesa (4722 Clairemont Mesa Blvd). Mind you, this is not fabulous Thai cuisine--but it's definitely decent Thai grub. Except for the pad thai, which has got a bad case of the sweet-and-gummies. But then, if you're following good buffet practice you're avoiding the noodles anyway, right? Do have some of the coconut rice, though--that's definitely worth the carb hit.

[Octaveman]

there's a Thai buffet I'm quite fond of

Who and where please.

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Thai Cafe in Clairemont Mesa (4722 Clairemont Mesa Blvd). Mind you, this is not fabulous Thai cuisine--but it's definitely decent Thai grub. Except for the pad thai, which has got a bad case of the sweet-and-gummies. But then, if you're following good buffet practice you're avoiding the noodles anyway, right? Do have some of the coconut rice, though--that's definitely worth the carb hit.

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There are times when you don't care an aweful lot about high quality and you just want to chow down. A Thai buffet will definately break up the monotony of having Chinese all the time. thanks for the tip.

[Matcha Eyes]

Since people have brought up situations at Chinese buffets that can seem unfair to the customer, I have to ask about this situation:

How do people here feel about Chinese buffets that ban customers or kick them out for taking too much of one item and not more of the other offerings?

For example: My father works at the huge General Motors tech center and there is a popular Chinese buffet right across the street. The restaurant managers greet General Motors employees with the simple phrase "No Blue-Shirts!" because they feel the guys eat too many of the ribs offered and not enough of the other foods set out.

Another example: About 2 years ago I was really excited to try a new Oriental Buffet that opened nearby because it boasted about a large selection of sushi. So I went on a slow afternoon, and went straight for the sushi offerings. I did have 2 small cups of egg drop soup and some kimchi, but it was obvious that I was not into all that fried, greasy stuff stereotypically served. I took about 4 pieces of sushi per trip, and after the 3rd trip the waitor handed me the bill and asked me to leave. I didn't say anything but I felt both angry and embarassed. I never thought I would be able to eat so much to get kicked out of a buffet. But I was also really angry that I was being charged all this money for a few pieces of sushi. It's not like I was eating an entire platter of fatty tuna, and besides it's an all-you-can eat buffet, not Nobu.

[annecros]

Since people have brought up situations at Chinese buffets that can seem unfair to the customer, I have to ask about this situation:

How do people here feel about Chinese buffets that ban customers or kick them out for taking too much of one item and not more of the other offerings?

For example: My father works at the huge General Motors tech center and there is a popular Chinese buffet right across the street. The restaurant managers greet General Motors employees with the simple phrase "No Blue-Shirts!" because they feel the guys eat too many of the ribs offered and not enough of the other foods set out.

Another example: About 2 years ago I was really excited to try a new Oriental Buffet that opened nearby because it boasted about a large selection of sushi. So I went on a slow afternoon, and went straight for the sushi offerings. I did have 2 small cups of egg drop soup and some kimchi, but it was obvious that I was not into all that fried, greasy stuff stereotypically served. I took about 4 pieces of sushi per trip, and after the 3rd trip the waitor handed me the bill and asked me to leave. I didn't say anything but I felt both angry and embarassed. I never thought I would be able to eat so much to get kicked out of a buffet. But I was also really angry that I was being charged all this money for a few pieces of sushi. It's not like I was eating an entire platter of fatty tuna, and besides it's an all-you-can eat buffet, not Nobu.

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Sounds like those places had more business than they could stand! Or deserved!

Vote with your feet, and tell your friends.

[Fat Guy]

I do think there's a point at which consumer behavior becomes exploitative, however neither of those scenarios strikes me as remotely so. I mean, if there's some desirable garnish on a buffet item, and a person takes 100 of that item, eats the garnish and discards the rest, that's just bad faith behavior. In such an instance, I think it's entirely reasonable for the staff to step in and ask the person to leave. If, however, the staff is requiring that patrons only engage in a narrow set of behaviors, yet is advertising an all-you-can-eat buffet, that's just dishonest. I suppose if the restaurant provides a list of rules in advance, people can look at that list and decide whether or not they want to dine there. Otherwise, the implied promise is that you really can eat as much of whatever you like within the bounds of reasonable behavior.

I should add, I've never encountered this problem. I can, on a good day, be a pretty scary buffet customer. Yet nobody has ever been anything but supportive. Maybe I'm choosing particularly good buffets, but my experience has always been that the staff encourages me to eat and enjoy. I think the first time I experience an all-you-can-eat buffet with an anti-enjoyment attitude, I'll find it quite unsettling.

[markk]

It's been a good two years since I've been to a Chinese buffet, because the ones convenient to me turned lousy. But after reading this thread, I went back tonight to the one I mention earlier with the blue crabs and the Peking duck. They do indeed have hundreds of items, and as we used to do, we ate our body weight in duck, ginger-scallion crabs, and sauteed mustard greens. And we talked about why these places don't require you to have more variety than 3 items. But not only did nobody say a word, they were extremely generous with the duck, and the (many) times that I asked if I could just have the whole leg/thigh portion without them hacking it up and just giving me a little, they said "sure", and they said it cheerfully.

(And then there was the time that I was at the MGM Grand Buffet in Las Vegas, years before the current fine-dining explosion, and discovered that their prime rib was as good as any bar mitzvah I'd ever been to, and ate 5 end cuts - honest. Of course, nobody there is going to say anything or care, but I too await the day that a small place tosses me out.)

We also wondered "how" they would charge for wasted food if they did, and we couldn't imagine. (The pancakes that we used to be required to take, for example.) Are there places that do it by weight?

[Luckylies]

There's a place on 3rd ave that is all you can eat sushi, but if you leave more than (3?) pieces on you plate they charge you menu price for the left over pieces.

[mizducky]

At my favorite Chinese buffet in town (East Buffet, as featured in my first foodblog, in case any locals are curious ), I regularly see certain patrons tanking exclusively on some personal favorite item. No staff person as much as raises an eyebrow. This place does such a huge business, the management obviously did the math and realized it all equals out. Plus I'd just like to see one of the young servers attempt to take on one of the matriarchs I have seen going to town on the blue crab--my money would be on the matriarch every time.

I could understand a buffet charging if you took and then wasted a whole bunch of food--not only from a business standpoint, but because I was brought up to think of food wastage as seriously Evil. But if any staff of any buffet ever gave me guff about taking too much of one item, I would feel no compunction whatsoever about letting them know what a stupid business decision that was--especially since they'll have lost not only my business but that of every person I can alert over the Net. Chintziness is its own reward.

(Signed, she who, before her weight management odyssey, regularly porked out on spareribs at various Chinese buffets)

[Kent D]

Wichita almost has a Asian buffet on every corner now, and they all have a special feature -- sushi, crab legs, Mongolian grill service, Szechuan, Hunan, Thai, Vietnamese. The wife and I tried one new place that had wonderful decor, a Mongolian grill, some dish with tiny little octopi(sp?) in it...and the food had no flavor whatsoever. Things that were labeled Hunan and Szechuan seemed to have as their primary flavor...corn starch? The only condiments available for flavoring were soy sauce and ketchup. Blecch!

While I've heard of families being "banned" in some places for their kids "wasting food", I've never witnessed or experienced it, because we're pretty good about making the kids take only what they'll eat, and of course I never leave anything on a plate. And I can't believe any restaurant around here banning an entire industry from their clientele, just because of the cutthroat nature of our market.

[leviathan]

Do buffets where you are not charge for excessive wastage? The ones I'm familiar with always charge a certain amount per 100 grams of wasted food.

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I've seen those signs too(although nothing about measuring) and think that buffets have every right to that policy. I've witnessed people at all you can eat sushi buffets, where they will take the whole thing- the rice and the topping, but then only eat the topping and throw away the rice.

As for Chinse buffets, I haven't eaten one in many years since my family went on a tour guided bus trip to Yellowstone, where we stopped at every all you can eat Chinese buffet for lunch or dinner for the entire trip from California through Idaho and Wyoming to Montana and back. The first Chinese buffet on the trip wasn't very good, and it didn't get any better when you ventured into states such as Idaho for Chinese food. Part of the problem was that the food was exactly the same, horribly mediocre at every buffet. I'm convinced that every single buffet used the same source, where it was all bottled up and shipped to them. Every buffet had the exact same menu- fried rice, won ton soup, general tsao chicken, a few spare rolls pretending to pass itself off as japanese, and the dessert would be the ice cream you see at soup plantation and sizzlers.

[Shalmanese]

I'm convinced that every single buffet used the same source, where it was all bottled up and shipped to them. Every buffet had the exact same menu- fried rice, won ton soup, general tsao chicken, a few spare rolls pretending to pass itself off as japanese, and the dessert would be the ice cream you see at soup plantation and sizzlers.

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This is actually not too far from the truth. There are dedicated companies who provide basically a Chinese Restaurant starter kit. They provide everything from the menus to the decor to the food which is part of the reason for the homogenity of American Chinese food at a certain level.

[IndyRob]

I've never really embraced Chinese food. I know now that I don't think I've ever actually had real Chinese food. So that's probably a bit unfair. But especially in my early experiences, there seemed to be a complete absence of proper bread. Of course, the asian countries that get invaded by France get bread. I think that's part of the deal. We invade you, and you get bread. From the French point of view, I'm sure it seems a fair deal. And now we get banh mi.

So anyway, my wife and son love these Chinese buffets. Sometimes I'll go along, but often they'll just go themselves when I'm otherwise engaged. Or I just don't want to go.

But then they told me about the place with the crab legs - all you can eat. Awesome. I'm there. But no bread. It turned into a hollow experience. Like if you go to a restaurant, have a great entree, but the waiter never delivers a single drink order. You just feel a little bit incomplete and unsatisfied.

So how evil would it be if I turned to smuggling - filling the pockets of my trenchcoat with baguette slices spread with cultured butter, and turning up my collar to conceal the consumption of my illicit fare?

Yes, I'm sure it's unlawful and unwanted. But, c'mon, it will necessarily mean that I'll eat less crab (I don't really eat that much in one sitting anyway).

Do I risk disembowlment at the hands of a dragon-tattoo festooned tong enforcer? Or rapid-fire whacks from the cane of an elderly matriarch? The disapproving stares of my fellow diners?

Or, maybe, a lucrative black market trade?

[Art_Good]

I LOVE Chinese food, and we've got a fantastic buffet here in Mooresville, Indiana called Dong's (yeah, I know that seems funny).

I have found that not only do you go at the beginning of a service time (lunch, dinner), but go at the busiest times and days (Friday nights and Sundays at Dong's) to get the freshest prepared items.

[IndyRob]

Bryan, my experience has differed from yours in one respect. Yes, I have often experienced the limited supply phenomenon, where a ration of lobster tails comes out every half hour and runs out in five minutes. But no, I have not noticed that they don't bring any out until the restaurant is full -- just the opposite, the last time I was at East Buffet (Queens) we went right when they opened and ate our fill off the first tray of lobster without much competition, whereas subsequent trays were descended upon by vulture-like crowds.

I was reminded of this thread as we again were invited to join my son and his wife at a Chinese buffet restaurant today. Again, I was not enthusiastic about it, but at least, I was assured, there would be the unlimited crab legs.

As it turned out, no, there were no crab legs at all. But they had added some sort of (barely acceptable) Texas toast. So I had the bread I longed for in my previous post (just two posts up, I think), but no crab legs.

Ironically, after coming home I found myself watching the Vegas episode of No Reservations again. In this, Tony Bourdain expounds upon his own buffet strategy - eschew the starches, and go for the expensive proteins, because the starches are meant to fill you up. (which, in fact, I was using as a justification for bringing my own bread).

It turns out that my son inquired about the crab legs, and was told that there were too many people coming in and eating only crab legs.

Oh, and there was another new item on the Chinese buffet - Pizza.

Much of our conversation centered on how crowded the restaurant used to be.

Clearly, premium protein offerings on a buffet are akin to a high wire act. Balance is everything.

[Tiger Black]

How do people here feel about Chinese buffets that ban customers or kick them out for taking too much of one item and not more of the other offerings?

I know this is a late reply but that strikes me as unbearably and shockingly rude.

[chromedome]

When I was a young 'un, there was a restaurant that stopped offering all-you-can-eat fish & chips because of me. I've mellowed, in recent years.

I don't overthink the buffet. I try small amounts of several things, and go back for the ones that are good. If you eat at the same buffet frequently, I think the "sweet spot" isn't opening time when everything's new: it's the first mass replenishment, after the initial locust-like swarm of regulars. The initial fill often has items prepared ahead and held, while the refills are more often made fresh as needed. That's my experience, anyway...YMMV.

[Jaymes]

My number one tip for enjoying your meal at a Chinese buffet, or at any Chinese restaurant for that matter:

If you're not fond of masses of other people's children running, laughing, giggling, pointing, pounding on things, hollering, gathering by your table and talking excitedly, don't sit next to the fish tank.

[PrivateTim]

Is Fat Guy around still? I wonder if he has applied his strategies to the high end Las Vegas buffets and how his strategy differs, if at all.

Also a Sunday brunch buffet strategy. The Hotel del Coronado charges like $80 a plate for their Sunday brunch. It is one of the few buffets I feel I can't wrangle my money out of.

[chileheadmike]

I have a real weakness for Chinese buffets. I eat at one about once a month. There are a few close to where I work. Two of them relatively close together. One is an older, established restaurant and then there is the shiny new super buffet that has pizza, sushi, Mongolian grill, in addition to the standards.

It seems the shiny new buffet has taken some business away from the older one. I went out last week for my fix. I usually go to the older one because their food is better, and I really like their hot and sour soup. I pulled in the parking lot and noticed the signs out front for $4.99 all you can eat. Yikes. That scared me off. I drove to the shiny new one. They had a sign that said, "Under new nice and responsible management". Plus you have to pay before you see the food.

I think they're both off my list.

[pastameshugana]

I just surprised Mrs Meshugana with a trip to Vegas for her birthday (literally surprised: Woke her up at 2am and told her the bags were packed, the babysitter was here, and we're leaving!).

So, we spent a couple of days abusing the "Buffet of Buffets." For 44.99 you get a 24hr pass to like 6 buffets: Rio, Planet Hollywood, Paris, and the rest were too far to visit.

We did it not for the culinary delight, but it was an affordable way to knock out 4 meals on the strip (breakfast, lunch, dinner, breakfast) while we were spending the real money on shows and shopping.

The first meal (with friends) I employed the 'high dollar protein' strategy, and certainly felt I got my money's worth. After that I was in pain, so I did the 'small samples till I find something I like' strategy, and that left me a bit less over-stuffed, but pleased nonetheless.

I did notice that it seemed these buffets shared a supplier and/or menu coordinator, because it seemed there were lots of similar dishes/preparations among them.

Anyhow, it was nice, and we got to experience that particularly Vegas-flavored-tackiness of watching a bride and groom enjoy their pre-wedding dinner (in dress and tux) at a buffet.

[EatNopales]

I've actually had excellent meals at Chinese & Indian buffets... but with an *

In Rowland Hills, CA (an upper middle class Hong Kongese refuge East of Los Angeles)... there are a number of Chinese Banquet / Wedding Halls that do $39.99 per person buffets... with excellent, high quality food... much of it being prepared to order... and with very small steam table pans (if used) i.e., high batch turnover.

I had a similar experience with Indian cuisine in Parsippanny (Central New Jersey) at Indian wedding halls... were I was the only person not fluent in Gujarati (btw... these people ain't Punjab... if they say it is very spicy... it is VERY SPICY)

But I understand the typical Chinese or Indian buffet is marketed to an unknowledgable, value seeking crowd in the <$10 price point.