I will never again . . . (Part 1)

[Suzy]

Did I mention baking potatoes in the oven without first piercing them?  Yup, exploding potato.

That's one of the scariest damn sounds, too. A great big boom from the kitchen.

[Hest88]

Okay, bet none of you have been stupid enough to do this:

Never remove a hot wok ring from the stove by spearing one of the holes with a single chopstick and thinking you can balance it on the end until you get to the sink. What *really* happens is that the wok ring slides down the chopstick, burning your forearm as tumbles down to your elbow.

The annoying thing about such incidences is that there's always a rational voice at the back of my mind, telling me that laziness never pays off and that I'll end up hurting myself. Too bad I still haven't learned to listen.

[mcdowell]

I will never again confuse the high-BTU burner with the others, nor will I toss vegetables into hot oil from a foot away, and certainly not both simultaneously.... it's been four months, and my arm still carries "birthmarks" put there by the splashing way-too-hot olive oil.

Nor will I ever wear a too-large bathrobe, strands of cotton dangling, while cooking with a small pan over a large flame.... it freaks the hell out of the children when the fire spreads to your back and you have to shed that flaming robe only to find yourself standing there naked in the kitchen, but for a spatula, stomping it out, hoping against hope that it won't affect your security deposit when the veneer over the hardwood melts.

These things I would never do again.

[torakris]

Do not, I repeat DO NOT set up your garden to that the yuzu (which has thorns!) is in front of the bay leaf tree, I got some nasty scratches on my upper arm yesterday.

Of course they match the scabs on my left hand.............

............it has been a really bad knife week

[Richard Kilgore]

McDowell --- Good plan.

[enthusiast]

torakris

oh I did one of those sugar-salt mistakes.

I was a newlywed and had gotten some gorgeous fresh trout and decided to make yaki-zakana, whole grilled fish sprinkled with a good dose of salt.

Well I wasn't paying attention and grabbed the bag of sugar instead  ......

....it wasn't that bad if you didn't eat the skin 

My husband still talks about that! 

i hope you realise that your husband is complimenting you. implicit is that you rarely (never?) make mistakes so this one is worth reliving for its rarity and, furthermore, that he assumes that you are rightly confident enough in your cooking not to be upset by being reminded about this isolated lapse.

my tip (from expereince) is never add grapefruit to a soup thinking it might just add that interesting thing that's missing...

[torakris]

torakris

oh I did one of those sugar-salt mistakes.

I was a newlywed and had gotten some gorgeous fresh trout and decided to make yaki-zakana, whole grilled fish sprinkled with a good dose of salt.

Well I wasn't paying attention and grabbed the bag of sugar instead  ......

....it wasn't that bad if you didn't eat the skin 

My husband still talks about that! 

i hope you realise that your husband is complimenting you. implicit is that you rarely (never?) make mistakes so this one is worth reliving for its rarity and, furthermore, that he assumes that you are rightly confident enough in your cooking not to be upset by being reminded about this isolated lapse.

my tip (from expereince) is never add grapefruit to a soup thinking it might just add that interesting thing that's missing...

Oh, I have made plenty of mistakes (have you read the whole thread? )

On of my most disappointing was the day I had spent hours making this Indian curry (one of my first attempts at Indian) and just before serving I thought it needed a little more salt, so I grabbed the salt shaker (this is before I discovered kosher salt!) not realizing that the cap hadn't been put on correctly after spooning some out earlier in the day for a cake. I ended up with a good 1/2 cup of salt in the curry. I tried scooping it out, but it was ruined. I sat down and cried, my husband, the wonderful man, ordered a pizza.

My most expensive mistake was the day I made buri-daikon (a traditional Japanese dish of simmered daikon an yellowtail). It was my first attempt and it was perfect. I was carrying it to the table (I have to walk through my living room to get to my dining room) when I tripped, the bowl of buri and daikon and all the simmering liquid flew out of my hands and spread for about a 5 foot radius all over our thick oriental carpet. I never could get the smell out and we had to get rid of the carpet.

And he still stays with me!

[maggiethecat]

McDowell --- Good plan. 

Yes, McD. Please follow the plan.

Actually, cooking in a bathrobe always seems like a dangerous act. There's the sash at burner lever, the flap-open front, the too-wide sleeves-- all just begging for you to light their fires.

And of course, one is rarely, as you so memorably point out, wearing protective clothing under the robe.

The McDowell Bathrobe Protocol.

Edited August 21, 2003 by maggiethecat (log)

[army8]

It sure smarts when you rest your bare knuckles on the door of a 650 deck oven while lifting a much too heavy tray out one handed. No more hairy knuckles just smooth bright red flesh!

[klc14]

Along the line of trying to catch a falling knive, never catch a falling box of saran.  In my case, an almost new, 24 inch by 2,000 foot roll.  This was years ago; and I still rub my right hand every time I think about it.

I know what you mean.

I cut my wrist on one of those rolls the other day.

oh, yes, the plastic wrap "razor" fingertip trap. Quick, sharp, PAIN. No blood drawn yet. but I have half of a 50-yard box to go.

So I will never put the plastic wrap, with its convenient sharp-sharp strip always out in the open and ready to cut, in the drawer so that the cutting edge is away from the side wall of the drawer, instead of right in the middle, shiny and pointing up. At my questing fingers.

That way, I won't open the drawer and while reaching to grab the foil next to it, put my fingertips right down on the lovely tiny sharp teeth. Three times in a row. Firmly. Till the pain reflex kicked in.

Part of it is the box design: no closing flap, the cutter is always in position to tear the plastic which is lying across it. The foil box has a flap to close over its cutting edge. I failed to adjust to the environment.

Thoughtless, thoughtless! I was thinking about what I was gonna wrap up, didn't see me coming!

[Myste]

I was making stock from a couple cornish game hens. I proceeded to fill the stock pot with water, add the bones, and turn the burner on high. I went out for a quick smoke and read while the water boils. I ended up so absorbed in my book that i ignored the smoke alarm going off 2 hrs later, and my SO had to get out of bed and take it down to stop it. No flames, just one blackened stock pot.

Or cooking bacon first thing in the morning after a night at the club.. not so much hung over as still drunk from the night before. Another pan ruined.

The sad thing is, they both happened within a week of each other.

[pleiades]

I was making stock from a couple cornish game hens. I proceeded to fill the stock pot with water, add the bones, and turn the burner on high. I went out for a quick smoke and read while the water boils. I ended up so absorbed in my book that i ignored the smoke alarm going off 2 hrs later, and my SO had to get out of bed and take it down to stop it. No flames, just one blackened stock pot.

Heh heh... A certain top-tier Baltimore restaurant had this happen too. Last one out of the kitchen at the end of service forgot to lower the heat under the massive stock pot to simmer before leaving. Luckily, the first BFD captain on the scene was also a regular patron and managed to get the front door open without smashing it. No damage but for the smell and one very ruined pot.

I personally will never again bake bacon wrapped anything in a 10 year old pyrex dish (in this case it was porcinis stuffed with goat cheese. A little experiment). Timer goes off, open the oven, pull out the dish, all the bacon fat runs to one side, and.....BLAM!!! The dish vaporizes. One dazed (and lucky) home cook standing in a 5-foot blast radius of glass and bacon bits.

[Raynickben]

I was making stock from a couple cornish game hens. I proceeded to fill the stock pot with water, add the bones, and turn the burner on high. I went out for a quick smoke and read while the water boils. I ended up so absorbed in my book that i ignored the smoke alarm going off 2 hrs later, and my SO had to get out of bed and take it down to stop it. No flames, just one blackened stock pot.

I gotta know...what book were you reading that took you away for over two hours?!!!

[kel]

I will never confuse the sugar and salt canisters while making pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. I didn't do that, but my mom did, and no one has ever let her forget it.

What I did do is make the mistake of not learning what all the parts to my rice cooker were before trying to use it for the first time. It didn't seem to be working, and of course it turned out that I'd put the water in the wrong place. My husband points to the middle and says the water should go in there...I assumed he meant under that metal thingy - surely it must unscrew...

It does not. And it took a few months before I had fingerprints again on my thumb and first finger. Ouch!

I will probably make coffee without the pot in place a few more times in my life. Hopefully I'll have the sense not to try to catch falling knives...

[Myste]

I was making stock from a couple cornish game hens. I proceeded to fill the stock pot with water, add the bones, and turn the burner on high. I went out for a quick smoke and read while the water boils. I ended up so absorbed in my book that i ignored the smoke alarm going off 2 hrs later, and my SO had to get out of bed and take it down to stop it. No flames, just one blackened stock pot.

I gotta know...what book were you reading that took you away for over two hours?!!!

I think it was Harry Potter 5, but I don't remember. I read way too much.

[nanetteb]

I will never again...

Totally forget I'm cooking dried beans in a cheapo Presto pressure cooker . I don't know what was worse when she blew - thinking that someone had fired a shotgun at me or the hot bean puree covering every surface in the kitchen including the ceiling.

My dog wouldn't come out from under the bed for the rest of the day.

Nanette, who now has a nice clog-free Cuisinart pressure cooker

http://cookingincolor.blog-city.com

[fendel]

...forget that the pan was just in a 450-degree oven, and grab the handle... (there's an epidemic of that one, isn't there)

And my father still chuckles over the time when, as a teenager, I made a pork roast but forgot to drain off the excess fat before making the gravy.

[alacarte]

...fry potatoes (or anything else) while wearing a tank top. Splatter, Splatter, Ouch. Could have been worse though.

[elyse]

Tank top? Newbie!

[Suzanne F]

...forget that the pan was just in a 450-degree oven, and grab the handle... (there's an epidemic of that one, isn't there)

I am proud and pleased to announce that tonight, after taking the saute pan holding Mamster's Pancetta Embossed Chicken out of the oven, I did not attempt to grip the handle without a mitt until said handle had cooled down to a mere 120 or so degrees. A FIRST!!

[browniebaker]

Leave the steel bench-scraper in the drying rack with the scraping edge up.

Later, putting some utensils into the drying rack, I accidentally pressed down on the edge of the scraper and got a 1/8"-deep cut in the side of my hand that didn't stop bleeding for an hour.

[tommy]

i will never again grind a chuck roast into hamburger.

[hjshorter]

i will never again grind a chuck roast into hamburger.

what happened?

[tommy]

i will never again grind a chuck roast into hamburger.

what happened?

it's really fatty and tough.

[megaira]

-use a charcoal hibachi on a wood deck at 1 am in the morning. Specifically a wood deck that someone decided to drywall from below, therefore not allowing particles and oh, say, sparks, to just fall through and extinguish below.

Once you've burnt down one place, it should be all uphill from there, right?

edit - er, yeah, I can type.

Edited September 10, 2003 by megaira (log)