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slkinsey

What is the weirdest thing in your freezer?

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Here's your basic "Contest I don't really want to win, but might despite my own best efforts." Backstory? About a decade ago, my smallest sister, a US Navy dependent, moved from the US to Japan when her husband was stationed there. Meanwhile, back at the farm, I agreed to "babysit" for my sister's pet, to avoid massive and punitive quarantines for pets brought into that area. Frankly, I'd've never considered reptiles as "pets" without this intervention.

Fast forward a couple of years, and my little sister passes away while still overseas. Meanwhile, I'm playing "foster mom" to a six-foot-long iguana -- the ideal pet, as it turns out. (Not only are iguanas quiet and non-smelly and vegetarian, it turns out that they're affectionate, personable, and loveable. And they're fabulous for quietly running off random d-t-d salespeople and religious sorts. Frankly, I'd've doubted that by leaps and bounds had I not played foster mama for several years...) At any rate, the "baby" iguana became ill at approx. age 15 -- a ripe old age for his sort. My mother, in all her wisdom, decided to take custody of the grand-iguana at this stage. When the iguana succumbed to ripe old age a few weeks later, Mom (bless her heart!) decided that she'd "preserve" the pet, for whatever reason... Thus, a few months ago, when I bought Mom's house, I also "inherited" the chest freezer, full of six-foot-long, adorable, sweet, affectionate iguana. Ugh! Baby Iguana will, in the next few weeks, join the peaceful little cemetery of pets in the side garden.

(And I won't even begin to delve into a several-decades-old misunderstanding I had with my mother about pets vs. livestock. Suffice it to say that, when a pre-teen "adopts" a little piggy with crippled feet, and her mom misunderstands the intent of "pet" vs. "livestock," it's pretty gol-darned disturbing for that pre-teen to come home from school, asks what's for dinner, and hear "Name of Favorite Pet Piggy Who Plays Basketball and Thinks He's a Dog" as main course! Sure, "Little Piggy" topped seven-hundred pounds by the time he became dinner, but he was still my "little piggy!")


"Enchant, stay beautiful and graceful, but do this, eat well. Bring the same consideration to the preparation of your food as you devote to your appearance. Let your dinner be a poem, like your dress."

Charles Pierre Monselet, Letters to Emily

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While in the apartment, I don't have freezer space to be as weird as it got when I had the one at the house.

Yes to freezing garbage. I have always done that. Meat wrappers and anything else that might stink. I also have the allotted portions of chicken carcasses, various fats, though most of those reside in the fridge in canning jars. All of my chile powders are in there as well as jars of kaffir lime leaves and bay leaves from the tree in the cemetary that my sister and I know about.

About the most intriguing thing coming out of one of our freezers . . . when cleaning out the really big chest freezer after mom and dad passed away . . . was a gallon container of wild grape juice that dad had processed at the country place. I think it is dated 1972 or some such. The grapes grew down in the creek bottom on the property. He was probably planning to make wine with it as he was in his wine making faze then. It is still there at the house and we are trying to decide what to do with it. Current thinking is to make commemorative jelly and give it to friends and family.


Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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In early February, half of my freezer is stuff I froze during Farmer's Market season, apple cider I froze in the Fall, and rhubarb my mother sent me from her garden.

I think the weirdest is the $3 of hickory nuts I don't want to waste by tossing out or spend $70 on to crack.

Somewhere in there I thought I had my mystery basil -- the guy who sells it at the Farmer's Market says the Tibetan monks in town tell him it's holy basil, but the internet says holy basil is spicy and cinnamony, and this smells like perfumed soap and tastes like a cross between honeysuckle and cherimoya -- but I apparently used it up already.

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I've got a bob cat hide waiting for my son (he shot it with his bow) to take it to the taxidermist.

As I live and breathe!!! That's what was in mine back in '86!!! My late FIL, and indeed every person of male persuasion in the whole family was or is an AVID hunter. He had shot the bobcat out at the deer camp, and brought it home, where he stashed it in MY freezer.

And we had LOTS of freezers...we lived on a farm, and the family "compound" consisted of a several acre lawn with four houses of us, five generations right there in one yard.

We had freezers for fruit, and freezers for game; several held the bounty of the huge vegetable gardens, and others were for miscellaneous stuff. Everybody's little top one on the fridge was usually full of butter, margarine, maybe pizza boxes, etc. There were upright ones and downright ones, chests you could store an ox in, and a couple of smaller ones just for ice.

The ancient one out in my utility shed had seen better days, and wore battle scars all over its passe' white surface. Even the catch in the hinges which was supposed to hold the lid up was broken, resulting in our all learning a weird little dance of lift, stick-your-head-under-and-hold-up-the-lid-while-you-look-inside, grab whatever you were looking for and try to lower the lid with one or both hands full of frozen chunks of something. This more often than not led to the dropping of frozen items onto your feet or shattering them on the concrete, and almost always to the slamming of the lid with a resounding whoomp! and a bruise to some portion of your anatomy.

On the day in question, I hurried home from work in order to get started on a Shrimp Creole dish for a friend's unexpected houseguests. (Did I mention that you had to sort of kick the front of the freezer in order to jiggle the wiring or the lightbulb or whatever controlled its sporadic light supply? It would obligingly come on for a while, or stay on past your closing the lid, just to be contrary. We checked it once, sort of snuck up on it by opening the lid a hairline, way less than it took to trigger the old black button in the recess, and sure enough, light as day in there).

So I knew just where to locate the packages of shrimp, ran in the door, lifted the lid, leaned WAY over to position my head JUST SO to hold the top up, rested the lid on my skull, and kicked the side of the still-dark freezer. And as the light gleamed on, I found myself face-to-face with a freezer full of bobcat, all brindly fur and shining eyes, lying there all snarly-fanged, just inches from my face. I don't know which happened first. I jumped back and up enough to free the lid, which thumped down upon one of my uplifted hands, whumping it underneath its fall. I think it even bounced once or twice. And I don't remember if it hurt.

I just remember my heart racing, and the folks running over from the lawn and field nearby. And we all laughed a long time. It got told and re-told at church and all around the community. And a taxidermist DID stuff it, with a dangly dead squirrel in its mouth, and hokey red paint on its front teeth. They even offered it to Chris as part of my "dowry" when we got married.

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Thus, a few months ago, when I bought Mom's house, I also "inherited" the chest freezer, full of six-foot-long, adorable, sweet, affectionate iguana. Ugh!

Unless someone admits to having severed human body parts in their chest freezer, you DEFINITELY win.


Jason Perlow

Co-Founder, The Society for Culinary Arts & Letters

offthebroiler.com - Food Blog | View my food photos on Instagram

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I've got a bob cat hide waiting for my son (he shot it with his bow) to take it to the taxidermist.

That sounds like the lead-in for a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

"If yew got a bob cat in yer freezer waitin' to be taken to the taxidermist..."


Jason Perlow

Co-Founder, The Society for Culinary Arts & Letters

offthebroiler.com - Food Blog | View my food photos on Instagram

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I've got a bob cat hide waiting for my son (he shot it with his bow) to take it to the taxidermist.

As I live and breathe!!! That's what was in mine back in '86!!! My late FIL, and indeed every person of male persuasion in the whole family was or is an AVID hunter. He had shot the bobcat out at the deer camp, and brought it home, where he stashed it in MY freezer.

...(go back and read it...all of it...again!)

So I knew just where to locate the packages of shrimp, ran in the door, lifted the lid, leaned WAY over to position my head JUST SO to hold the top up, rested the lid on my skull, and kicked the side of the still-dark freezer. And as the light gleamed on, I found myself face-to-face with a freezer full of bobcat, all brindly fur and shining eyes, lying there all snarly-fanged, just inches from my face. I don't know which happened first. I jumped back and up enough to free the lid, which thumped down upon one of my uplifted hands, whumping it underneath its fall. I think it even bounced once or twice. And I don't remember if it hurt.

...

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Thus, a few months ago, when I bought Mom's house, I also "inherited" the chest freezer, full of six-foot-long, adorable, sweet, affectionate iguana. Ugh!

Unless someone admits to having severed human body parts in their chest freezer, you DEFINITELY win.

Maybe about the wierdest part, but racheld definitely wins the GulleyLaugh award!


Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
HosteG Forumsnsmith@egstaff.org

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)

"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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I still have a few cubes of frozen blood worms left from when I tried to raise frogs.

Yeah, that little hobby didn't last. :wacko:


Shelley: Would you like some pie?

Gordon: MASSIVE, MASSIVE QUANTITIES AND A GLASS OF WATER, SWEETHEART. MY SOCKS ARE ON FIRE.

Twin Peaks

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last time i visited my parents they still had my little brother's pet turtle in the big basement freezer; i remember the thing dying in the middle of winter about seven years ago, little bro demanding a proper burial, and since the ground was frozen my folks did the humane thing which was freeze the little sucker until spring. (the turtle, not my brother). by the time spring rolled around, everyone had forgotten about it; it surfaces every now and then when someone needswaffles or pizza, but no one ever throws it away. not really sure why...

all i have in my freezer is a couple of quail i bought three months ago intending to cook that night but didn't, then went on vacation two days later. the problem with freezing is it's never ready to cook NOW, i gotta like, plan ahead and stuff :blink:

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i have a hit of Like Something Dubious

from my last grateful dead show 6.21.95...

it is a piece of a 'family crest'.

these things do happen.

-m

mea culpa, inc.

edited to add:

i remember it being pretty weird.


Edited by akebono (log)

Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself.

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I've got a bob cat hide waiting for my son (he shot it with his bow) to take it to the taxidermist.

That sounds like the lead-in for a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

"If yew got a bob cat in yer freezer waitin' to be taken to the taxidermist..."

Yeaow, I miiight beee... :shock::raz:


Stop Family Violence

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the remains of Fluffy, the Emperor Scorpion (may he rest in peace), who is awaiting the spring thaw for his burial.


"Oh, tuna. Tuna, tuna, tuna." -Andy Bernard, The Office

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The thought just ran through my mind to wonder which ones of all these things would be considered "kosher". . . . :huh:

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the remains of Fluffy, the Emperor Scorpion (may he rest in peace), who is awaiting the spring thaw for his burial.

You had a PET SCORPION??!!


Michael aka "Pan

 

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I've got a bob cat hide waiting for my son (he shot it with his bow) to take it to the taxidermist.

Dad has always had at least one overflow feature where he will archive ancient game and fowl, oblivious to the freezerburn it will accumulate. In one of these, years ago, he placed an albino squirrel we'd found in the yard, hoping to one day thaw it out and stuff it.

Many cleanings and changes of freezer since, it remains unaccounted for. I am still trying to scan my mind for any repressed gustatory memories of a tough, freezerburned mystery-meat dinner. He does make soup and stew a lot, so perhaps it ended up in one of those.

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It's not in there now, but I did have a hard drive in the freezer a couple of weeks ago. The drive in my wife's computer gave up the ghost, so I bought another one, formatted and re installed the programs, but tried the freezing trick to try to get some of the data from the drive. It is possible to do that with some forms of drive malfunctions. The cold temps cause the metal pieces inside the drive to contract ever so slightly, and that can sometimes give you a couple of minutes to move the data.

So picture the computer set up in the kitchen, with a 12' USB cable running into the freezer, where I had an external enclosure with the nearly dead hard drive in it. The drive was frozen for about 12 hours. It works until the drive generates enough heat to return said metal parts to normal size, then it just stops responding. I was able to get about 70% of the needed data off of the drive doing this.

I would win if it were one of the freezers at my former job. I worked with pathologists.


Screw it. It's a Butterball.

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Oh, Dear Lord.  I forgot the kittens.  They did not survive their first night of life, and all three are out in the garage freezer in a little satin box.    From 2001. :shock:

Thank you for causing my "laugh till you cry" moment of the day. :laugh: :laugh: :blink:


Basil endive parmesan shrimp live

Lobster hamster worchester muenster

Caviar radicchio snow pea scampi

Roquefort meat squirt blue beef red alert

Pork hocs side flank cantaloupe sheep shanks

Provolone flatbread goat's head soup

Gruyere cheese angelhair please

And a vichyssoise and a cabbage and a crawfish claws.

--"Johnny Saucep'n," by Moxy Früvous

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the remains of Fluffy, the Emperor Scorpion (may he rest in peace), who is awaiting the spring thaw for his burial.

You had a PET SCORPION??!!

Well, he was my secondborn's. I never petted him, though my kid did. We also had a corn snake named Bob who went to that big tree branch in the sky about a year ago. His feeder mice are still in the freezer, and I find them when I have to dig for something. I don't know why they're still in there. Nasty things.

I used to have a duck head in there, too.


Edited by FabulousFoodBabe (log)

"Oh, tuna. Tuna, tuna, tuna." -Andy Bernard, The Office

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Geez, its not weird at all compared to dead kittens, but I have a snowball of unknown age. It does not snow much in North Carolina, and we get VERY excited when it does.

I saved a snowball.....so someday.....when you least expect it.....BAM....:wink:

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the remains of Fluffy, the Emperor Scorpion (may he rest in peace), who is awaiting the spring thaw for his burial.

You had a PET SCORPION??!!

Well, he was my secondborn's. I never petted him, though my kid did.[...]

Yikes! I thought it was a truism that scorpions never change their nature. When I first saw one in Malaysia, my neighbor was terrified of it, so I knew they were big trouble. We had to smash them with a broom whenever we saw them. Of course, some people eat them, but not Malays, who are Muslims. Besides, I don't think they'd want to risk serious health consequences in order to catch them.


Michael aka "Pan

 

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