What do you bring the host and hostess?

[BarbaraD]

Going to a small annual dinner party--six people. Looking for something different to bring an amateur cook. Price range between $50 and $100. Wine is out, they have an extensive cellar. Any ideas?

[Mayhaw Man]

Food or non food?

[BarbaraD]

Open to any ideas. Can be food or non.

[Raynickben]

I have given very nice olive oils and balsamic vinegars and those have been very much appreciated.

[Ore]

Ciao,

Where are you located - If in the LA area - I would check out For The Table On robertson and olympic - really cool things there!

Ciao,

Ore

[browniebaker]

I have given very nice olive oils and balsamic vinegars and those have been very much appreciated.

See, the gift has to be tailored to the recipient, I really think. Not everyone can use olive oils and balsamic vinegars; I couldn't. I re-gift any gifts like that, that I cannot use. And another problem is, olive oil is rather perishable, meaning I have to re-gift it soon -- not always possible.

If I don't know someone well, I bake a round of shortbread using a pretty ceramic mold that I have. Shortbread last nearly forever (indeed, tastes better aged), and it is something that the recipient can serve to others on a later occasion if he/she doesn't care for it, without having to prepare it or cook with it (as he/she would have to in the case of cooking oils or vinegars).

[Jake]

Do you know them well? You mentioned amateur cook, if you know their tastes perhaps a cookbook (always welcome in my home), an unusual utensil or something of that nature?

[Milt]

Do you know them well? You mentioned amateur cook, if you know their tastes perhaps a cookbook (always welcome in my home), an unusual utensil or something of that nature?

Putting energy into knowing what would be appreciated is the key here. I would prefer olive oil or balsamic vinegar to shortbread - but that's me. Any ingredient, a prepared food, a cookbook, a utensil, a magazine, wine - even a gift certificate - might be appropriate and appreciated. It just depends on the recipient.

[elfin]

I like to present gifts that are unusual and that will remind the recipient of our friendship. A magazine subscription tailored to their likes/hobbies/interest that comes once a month for example. If they get it already they can always contact the publisher and get a credit for the next years subscription. I also buy interesting serving plates/bowls when I travel abroad. A cook can never have too many serving plates/platters. The same holds true for funky or exotic napkins or other table linens. I guess I am cheap... a 50-100 dollar hostess gift for a dinner seems awfully high. Unless you are staying for the weekend or longer, I thought that hostess gifts were really just a token of appreciation. What does everyone else spend on a hostess gift for a dinner invite?

[browniebaker]

[...] I guess I am cheap... a 50-100 dollar hostess gift for a dinner seems awfully high. Unless you are staying for the weekend or longer, I thought that hostess gifts were really just a token of appreciation. What does everyone else spend on a hostess gift for a dinner invite?

I was thinking that myself, that $50 tp $100 for a hostess gift seems excessive if just for a dinner party. The gift is supposed to be a gesture, a token. If someone came to dinner with such an expensive gift, I would wonder. Wonder what? Well, wonder whether this guest thought the expensive gift would discharge all future obligation on the guest's part to reciprocate in kind. I guess I have seen all too many guests bring a gift and then fail to reciprocate with a dinner invitation later. One can't help but wonder whether the guest thinks he "paid for" the dinner with his hostess gift.

[GG Mora]

Mmm, yeah. $50 - $100 sounds pretty extravagant to me. This time of year, I usually bring a big bouquet of flowers from my gardens. Or, if I know someone has plenty of their own flowers but no vegetable garden, I bring a basket of produce – a big lovely head of Lolla Rossa lettuce, a bundle of basil and one of cilantro, a clutch of baby pattypan squash, a small bundle of young beets – basically a slection of whatever's looking fabulous that day.

[Pickles]

Price range between $50 and $100.

Wooo. I'd go with a beautiful cookbook that also teaches. Julia Child's The Way To Cook is a good one. It's certainly in that price range. You could also go with a pretty crystal relish dish for the table. A piece of Waterford or something in their own pattern and, if you know what it is.

Edited August 4, 2004 by Pickles (log)

[FL Heat]

If they drink coffee, maybe a selection of some coffee beans from someplace that roasts them on-site, along with some other coffee accessories? That's usually our fall-back gift, when we're invited to to dinner by a new business associate of the boyfriend that we don't know much about yet.

People always seem to bring me hot sauce, peppers, salsas, and kitchsy Texas memorabilia.

Diana

[LEdlund]

See, the gift has to be tailored to the recipient, I really think.

This is soooo true. Wine and/or flowers are my first choices for a host/hostess gift. Mainly because they are the "usual" and the host/hostess are prepared to deal with them during the event. I know I am usually not organized enough to be able to put food gifts away in a timely fashion so any gift that would require me to "work" would not be appreciated.

For non wine/flower gifts, I try to get a little something for the persons home (I usually spend between $15 and $25). Candles are always nice. Kitchen towels. Even a CD if that is appropriate. I try to give the gift in an interesting container: a basket of some sort most often.

[BarbaraD]

Thanks for your suggestions. You're absolutely right, that is too much money. I don't know what I was thinking. I like the idea of a serving dish. It's true that you can never have too many of those. Maybe I can also think of something interesting to put in it.

[stephenc]

If the host is Chinese, pretty much all you have to bring is a box of clementines and a 2 liter bottle of Coke for the kids.

Edited August 4, 2004 by stephenc (log)

[herbacidal]

If the host is Chinese, pretty much all you have to bring is a box of clementines and a 2 liter bottle of Coke for the kids.

So you've had experience with this, eh?

I'm more used to oranges, but clementines works.

Maybe a box of cookies too also.

[naguere]

I bake pretty good loaf of bread, so I do, a large freeform loaf and take along also a bottle of good wine.. the wine is allways welcome and during the festivities comments are allways made on the line of 'This bread , where did you get it from?.

[andiesenji]

I have a lot of friends who are amateur cooks and I aim the gift at what they like to cook.

If they have no need for the things I make myself, (canned fruits, preserves, dried fruits, and so on) I usually take them a slab of very good chocolate and package it with some recipes I have printed on heavy paper and laminated along with one or more tools for working with chocolate.

The point of giving a very fine chocolate such as this, is that they can either use it for cooking or it can be broken up and eaten as-is.

A few months back I took a 5 kilo block of Callebaut semi-sweet and a chocolate breaker as a hostess gift to a cocktail / dinner party since I knew that my friends had recently become interested in working with chocolate. They immediately unwrapped the slab, put in on a tray and used the breaker to carve off chunks from one end. They set it out for their guests to try if they wanted a sweet instead of canapés with their drinks.

There are smaller "Home Chef" chocolate bars offered by Scharffen Berger, Guittard, Valrhona, Schokinag, etc., so you could take a selection of different types.

Edited August 4, 2004 by andiesenji (log)

[iguana]

This time of year, I usually bring a big bouquet of flowers from my gardens. Or, if I know someone has plenty of their own flowers but no vegetable garden, I bring a basket of produce...

How is Saturday the 21st at 6:00?

Flowers are a great choice. Anything permanent is potentially difficult unless you're sure you can hit their needs and tastes exactly. I've received many serving dishes, etc, that are wonderful on their own, but just don't fit with grandma's china, much less with each other. Then I have to remember who gave me what and drag it out when they come to visit.

Another thought-- having an extensive wine cellar implies to me that wine may be a good hostess gift rather than a bad one. After all, they must love the stuff to have so much of it. Unless you've heard them complain (whine) about a prior wine gifts, it might be worth considering. They can cellar it, drink it later, serve it forth, cook with it, or regift it. Or maybe I'm just a lush!

[Maison Rustique]

As a recent hostess (yesterday--same people: family of 6 for lunch, cocktails and dinner) here's my $.02.

Our guests arrived bringing a lovely bottle of Port and an enormous bouquet of roses. Both gifts were lovely, quite appropriate and very much appreciated. However here's the problem I always have when someone arrives with a bouquet of flowers:

I'm busy in the kitchen. I have to stop to search for a vase. And in this case, it took some looking to find one that was large enough for this particular bouquet. It's quite warm here this time of year. As they arrived late morning, we hadn't yet turned on the a/c. The flowers laid on the kitchen counter whilst I located a vase. Once I found one I realized that I did not have time (nor space) to go thru the bouquet and trim the stems as is always recommended, so they were simply plopped into the vase with some water.

By this morning, there were rose petals all over the table. It saddens me that this obviously expensive bouquet didn't last as long as it should have.

OK, so the moral of my story is when you're selecting a hostess gift, please make it something that doesn't require immediate action on the part of the hosts. Something that takes no effort on his/her part will be appreciated much more!

[KatieLoeb]

Along the lines of the coffee beans, a nice (not necessarily expensive) teapot, tea strainer and a selection of loose teas from the best tea shop you can find. If you want to upgrade, a pretty porcelain cup/saucer set or two is a nice addition. Single antique cup/saucer sets can often be found for next to nothing at garage sales, in the back of antique shops or on eBay because the others in their orignal set broke. But it's nice to have different cups to suit one's mood, isn't it?

[snowangel]

My last dinner guests (who had seen my kitchen in advance) brought a most wonderful gift of dish towels. Very much appreciated. Those of us who were brides more than two decades ago need need new stuff. Everyone can use pretty linens.

[Pickles]

By this morning, there were rose petals all over the table. It saddens me that this obviously expensive bouquet didn't last as long as it should have.

Your fault. If someone is thoughtful enough to drop about $50 clams on a bouquet of roses for you, one STOPS what one is doing, and prepares the bouquet with care and attention. As well as appreciation. It takes less than 5 minutes to cut stems and plop in vase. Think of them as an appetizer someone brought that requires a bowl and a serving spoon or cheese knife.

[tanabutler]

Thanks for your suggestions.  You're absolutely right, that is too much money.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I like the idea of a serving dish.  It's true that you can never have too many of those.  Maybe I can also think of something interesting to put in it.

I think this is a really good thread, and I have found myself nodding my head a lot reading the posts. They are thoughtful.

I can't tell if you know your hosts well, or not at all. That would be good information to have.

Since I can't tell, here are some other thoughts:

1) If you give a cookbook, either they cook and own it (odds are) or they don't cook and will think you're trying to tell them something. Books? Do you live in a pretty city? What about a coffee table book of some kind? Unless they think of books as large coasters. See the trouble here?

2) Magazines: See above. Don't give a magazine: I am trying to declutter (or manage my clutter). People are selective about magazines. But if I had to give one, it would probably be Garden Design just because it's utterly beautiful.

3) Beware of giving THINGS in general. One woman's pretty kitchen towels? OH DEAR GOD THESE LINENS HAVE GEESE ON THEM. See my point? There is no accounting for personal taste. This quickly becomes a situation of "how well do you know these people?"

4) I don't approve of gift certificates in general, for some reason, because it's a forced choice with a specific dollar amount on it.

Make a sweet gesture. Make a gracious gesture. And realize that "regifting" (aka "I couldn't get it out of my house fast enough") might be the fate of your gesture. The bottom line here is: "It's the thought that counts, but I wish that we shared the same tastes."

Honestly, even if they've got a good cellar, you could certainly contribute to it. At least you know they like wine.

May I recommend three dozen bottles of the Walmart label?

(You better be laughing.)