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I will never again . . . (Part 3)

Rebecca263

By Rebecca263
in Food Traditions & Culture

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Lordof7

Lordof7

Posted
Posted

Well, I don't have enough experience in the kitchen for any REALLY good stories, but here goes:

I will never again:

- forget to tuck my finger and thumb under when cutting things.

<corollary> I will never again get my fingertips too close to the edge of a blade when push-sharpening. Especially on a dull knife, so that the skin gets ground off between the blade and the nice course stone.

- use a plastic spoon to disloge chickpeas in a running blender while making hummus. I find that rubber works better, as it gets cut up, but doesn't shatter. :raz:

- open an oven door on a hot oven, and stick my face in, especially after preheating said oven with a wet pizza stone in it. Yeah. I don't think my "EZ Sauna-at-home" kit will sell well.

- scrape the ribs out of jalapenos with my finger nails. (Interestingly, I didn't really realize this error until the next day, when I put in my carefully-cleanesed-with-fingers-last-night contact lenses. I had to wear my glasses for three days.)

I am currently trying to perfect my technique for sushi rice, which apparently involves listening for the rice to stop simmering and start crackling. As you might imagine, this change is very subtle if you don't know what the hell you're doing (and I clearly don't), so I have to get my ear pretty close to the pot to hear it. I may be posting again shortly...

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  • 3 weeks later...
Teri Everitt

Teri Everitt

Posted
Posted

I am currently trying to perfect my technique for sushi rice, which apparently involves listening for the rice to stop simmering and start crackling.  As you might imagine, this change is very subtle if you don't know what the hell you're doing (and I clearly don't), so I have to get my ear pretty close to the pot to hear it.  I may be posting again shortly...

Lord of 7, that's what rice cookers are for!

:biggrin:

If only I'd worn looser pants....

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hathor

hathor

Posted
Posted
....never will I make espresso with my Moka Pot and forget to put the top down.

My ceiling is now " espresso"

OOPS!

Wait, I thought you were supposed to leave the lid open? Start it with the lid open, then when it starts burbling out, close it and lower the heat.

Kevin....keep the lid closed. As soon as you hear some perc type noises, lower the heat. Avoids the steamed finger problem as well as the espresso colored ceilings.

-Judith Klinger
World-Eats.org

Aroma Cucina's Cooking Simply: The Italian Way

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swieton

swieton

Posted
Posted

This one was interesting: I once made a cheesecake in a water bath and forgot to wrap the springform pan.

... so anyway about an hour later, I pop open the oven and say "My, that rose a lot!" and then proceed to crack it open on my stovetop, dumping a goodly amount of soggy crust onto my stovetop.

After sampling the cake and deciding it wasn't done, I tossed it back in the oven for another 30 minutes or so.

I cleaned up the mess and then didn't tell anyone. Only my roomate and I knew :cool:.

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Kerry Beal

Kerry Beal

Posted
Posted
I WILL NEVER AGAIN PUT A WHOLE FROZEN BANANA IN MY BLENDER.

I WILL NEVER AGAIN PUT A WHOLE FROZEN BANANA IN MY BLENDER.

I WILL NEVER AGAIN PUT A WHOLE FROZEN BANANA IN MY BLENDER.

Can they fly?

the Chocolate Doctor
www.thechocolatedoctor.ca

www.eztemper.com

 

Confectionary Course • Confectionary Course Q&A
eGullet foodblog 2006 • eGullet Foodblog 2012

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jsolomon

jsolomon

Posted
Posted
I WILL NEVER AGAIN PUT A WHOLE FROZEN BANANA IN MY BLENDER.

I WILL NEVER AGAIN PUT A WHOLE FROZEN BANANA IN MY BLENDER.

I WILL NEVER AGAIN PUT A WHOLE FROZEN BANANA IN MY BLENDER.

Can they fly?

Of course. Frozen bananas have the natural flying ability of a chihuahua.

Shades of UHF...

Seriously, I want to see if a Vita-Mix can handle one of those...

I always attempt to have the ratio of my intelligence to weight ratio be greater than one. But, I am from the midwest. I am sure you can now understand my life's conundrum.

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Genny

Genny

Posted
Posted

I will never again...

Think I'm smarter than those idiots that don't know enough to respect a mandoline. :sad: Sorry everyone!!!!

Yes, I too fell prey to the cutting edge and snarky wit of my mandoline. I thought I could cut a carrot on the bias starting with the thick end and holding the thin end. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. Doh!!!! I was a beer into prepping for dinner, chatting with my husband and waiting for company to arrive and I thought I could slice the carrot faster this way, I've done it before, just only holding the thick end. Nice job on the ol' pinkie! Cut about 1/2 cm long strip out of my knuckle. No big deal, I'm tough :biggrin: . My superiority complex took a bigger hit than my knuckle and damn if that doesn't itch lika a mother fuck after a week!!!

Sorry to make you cringe again JudiU!!

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racheld

racheld

Posted
Posted
Ha! Sure Can!  Straight through the lovely hole on the side of my blender! It made a lovely watering can for my plants.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

This whole non-sequitur of a sequence is the funniest thing I've read today!! Did it hit anything? What did it SOUND like?

Welcome, Apronstrings!!!

Fairy Tea

My Blog--Thanksgiving and Goodwill
LAWN TEA

PAXTON PEOPLE

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chileheadmike

chileheadmike

Posted
Posted

I've truly enjoyed reading most of this thread. Geez its a big n.

I will never again throw chorizo links on the grill. Who knew the casing was plastic and melts! All I had was some burnt up bits in the coals. My wife is still laughing.

That's the thing about opposum inerds, they's just as tasty the next day.

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Bombdog

Bombdog

Posted
Posted

I will never again try to catch a falling chef's knife.....

gallery_16509_1680_45538.jpg

at least not by the blade... :wacko:

Dave Valentin

Retired Explosive Detection K9 Handler

"So, what if we've got it all backwards?" asks my son.

"Got what backwards?" I ask.

"What if chicken tastes like rattlesnake?" My son, the Einstein of the family.

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jsolomon

jsolomon

Posted
Posted

Sound advice, that.

I always attempt to have the ratio of my intelligence to weight ratio be greater than one. But, I am from the midwest. I am sure you can now understand my life's conundrum.

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snowangel

snowangel

Posted
Posted
I will never again try to catch a falling chef's knife.....

gallery_16509_1680_45538.jpg

at least not by the blade... :wacko:

Ewww. This one made me have to sit with my head between my legs. Keep it clean, please. I have a strong stomach. I can eat just about anything, I have butchered chickens and help butcher cows. But, stitches, IV's, etc. leave me white faced and on the floor. Heidi recently had a nasty cut in the back of her head, an as they pulled out the staple gun, I was ushered outside, given a chair and a nurse. She has regular blood draws, and I've been banished from every lab in the Twin Cities. With this thought, I'll put off sausage making until tomorrow of Wednesday.

I think I need to go and lay down and avoid ever looking at this post again.

Susan Fahning aka "snowangel"
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Pam R

Pam R

Posted
Posted

old one...

I will try to never again think that the plastic pushers that come with the robotcoupe are superfluous. they are there for a reason. but really.. the 30 lbs. of cabbage was cheap to replace and the tip of my finger grew back in time.

from today...

the next time I heat up some soup for lunch, in the clear plastic deli container I froze it in, when it boils over a little, I will not hold this container in one hand from the top, while I try to wipe up the spilled soup in the microwave with the other hand. because then I just had to wipe up the microwave, counter and floor. those deli containers get soft when hot. and then I had to heat up another container of soup. the tablespoon left in the first container wasn't that filling. luckily i was wearing black. borscht stains.

Pam Reiss aka "Pam R"

Author: Soup - A Kosher Collection - Passover - A Kosher Collection - Pam's Cookie Collection - Blog - Demos - Pam's Kitchen FB 

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Grub

Grub

Posted
Posted (edited)

... be in an extreme hurry, and attempt to impersonate an orangutan in the throes of an epileptic fit while struggling with complicated culinary tasks such as extracting tinfoil from its container...

A cut from a nice sharp knife is straight-forward and clean, but that cutting thingie on the tinfoil container can really tear things up.

Edited by Grub (log)
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ned

ned

Posted
Posted (edited)

Had the cast iron skillet over the fire for a few minutes, heating up for a sear. As I passed it, a little bit of gunk caught my eye. Reached in with a finger to scrub the gunk out. . . .whoops!

A dry pan that has been over very high heat cannot be scrubbed with a bare fnger.

Edited by ned (log)

You shouldn't eat grouse and woodcock, venison, a quail and dove pate, abalone and oysters, caviar, calf sweetbreads, kidneys, liver, and ducks all during the same week with several cases of wine. That's a health tip.

Jim Harrison from "Off to the Side"

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rooftop1000

rooftop1000

Posted
Posted

Shut the back door before firing up the grill or the smoke detector inside the house goes off :biggrin:

T

The great thing about barbeque is that when you get hungry 3 hours later....you can lick your fingers

Maxine

Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

"It is the government's fault, they've eaten everything."

My Webpage

garden state motorcyle association

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phatj

phatj

Posted
Posted
I will never again try to catch a falling chef's knife.....

<omitted disturbing photo>

at least not by the blade... :wacko:

It is also disadvantageous to attempt to catch such a knife with one's foot. I once pierced the toenail on my big toe (and a bit of the toe itself) that way.

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ned

ned

Posted
Posted

Yesterday I caught a falling baby with a 9 inch slicer in hand. Talk about luck.

You shouldn't eat grouse and woodcock, venison, a quail and dove pate, abalone and oysters, caviar, calf sweetbreads, kidneys, liver, and ducks all during the same week with several cases of wine. That's a health tip.

Jim Harrison from "Off to the Side"

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