People Talking to You While you Cook

[NulloModo]

The only thing that really bugs me is when people come in and stick fingers/spoons/etc into what I am preparing and start tasting it and making suggestions before it is even done, or without asking.

Eeeeee! What swine do that?

My roomates (occasionally, they have gotten better about this and now at least have the consideration to do it when I am not in the kitchen actively supervising the dish ;) ).

[Suzanne F]

What I meant was: just tune them out, because they don't really expect a response. They're just talking to hear themselves talk. (Hey, I've had 30 years' practice with HWOE ) At least, that seemed to be what Kate was describing.

Oh, I can chat, if need be; I can split my focus. But an important part of cooking is being by myself, concentrating. And when I'm in that zone, I hardly even hear anything but the hiss and zuzz of the pots.

[Majra]

And I don't actually say "Hey my day was ruined when I fumbled the egg and the yolk broke" but he knows I take my food seriously enough to be sulky for a while when it isn't right.

I think the easiest solution to your problem would be for you to still take your food seriously, but limit your emotional involvement in its outcome. You can be passionate about cooking eggs just right, without the element of sulking coming into play at all.

The way you've arranged your thoughts about happiness, sadness, eggs, and men, will never work run smoothly. You are expecting too much from the eggs first of all. If in your mind you are assigning the yolk to the job of making you happy when it spurts nicely in your mouth, and making you miserable if it breaks in the pan...it will never work. Eggs aren't supposed to do that job.

Same with the man. If you sulk because of a broken yolk, he's doomed. Because really it's not the broken yolk that's the problem, it's your thoughts about the situation. If you can practice rising above these little wrinkles in the fabric of life, I predict that your skittishness will gradually recede, you'll have a great day no matter how your breakfast turned out, and you'll be an even better cook!

[Pickles]

I suggest tying a bell around his neck

"One less....bell to answer....one less...egg to fryyyyyy..."

[stovetop]

I like house parties; all the action seems to end up in the kitchen, if its my own place peaple always ask me if they want to help, for years I would refuse the assistance and do it all on my own, then one day I woke up and decided that it is ok to have people help you out, sometimes I just sit down and let other people cook, I like that feeling, Relaxing have a beer.

You get way to caught up in the moment, serious; I say relax smoke a joint, then everyone wants to cook, get everyone involved, what a party, wait a minute, have I ever left the kitchen??

stovetop

Edited June 18, 2004 by stovetop (log)

[PopsicleToze]

I like it, but I'm strictly a home cook. Recently I put curtains separating the bar area that's open from the kitchen and the boyfriend complained. Even if he's reading the paper, he *likes* to watch me cook. He also likes to watch me plate it and serve it to him!

[winesonoma]

A large cleaver or small depending on my mood is usually enough. That and wash this I need it.

[bleachboy]

Even if he's reading the paper, he *likes* to watch me cook.   He also likes to watch me plate it and serve it to him!

I'm right there with him. I'm a damn good cook, but my plating skills suck. I recently served a cheese plate to some impromtu guests that involved me literally slapping some pieces of cheese on a dinner plate. I always enjoy watching my wife plate stuff because she would have taken that same cheese plus 30 extra seconds and made it look like something you actually wanted to eat. One day I'll get there.

Do they offer "plating" courses somewhere?

[tomweir]

I should show it to my wife... I am not alone it seems.

We are currently planning an extension to our house and a new kitchen is involved. After many years of me kicking people out of our tiny 7' square kitchen which had two doors and was the only way you could get out to the back garden. So endless streams of kids running in and out and a person or two talking and watching all drove me crazy when we had guests. Especially when plating or draining anything. Out, out, out now... (people think I am rude - the very idea)

She thought I would want a big ole square kitchen with cooking area and a hangout area. Heck no. i wanted a kitchen that primarily worked as a kitchen, my only concession to socialising is I have set up a stool near the entrance that a visitor or two can stand and chat but will not be in my way. The kitchen opens right onto the dining area and I will be able to interact with them but i can also cut them out if I need to.

I don't mind the chat, I love the radio on, I just hate the watching and the being-in-the-way.

[paul o' vendange]

Kate, I mind the talking. I may be (name the deficiency), but my cooking demands my absolute attention, and in several of the commercial kitchens I have worked in, there was a Rule of Silence, only chef and the expediter spoke. I like that kind of an atmosphere, and this is how I structure my own kitchen now. At home, I'm afraid I have the same habits as at work - I only relax once everyone is served and I, too, have a glass of wine in hand. I deeply enjoy hearing the warming buzz of guests as the first sips of wine go down and food is moving out. I enjoy the buzz - but from the other room.

Paul

[Susan in FL]

I'm getting a kick out of this discussion. When we have company and I'm cooking, I can listen (or pretend to) and laugh at the funny stuff and even make some mindless comments, but not more than that and sometimes not even that, when I need to focus my attention on the cooking. Crucial times, not to expect intelligent conversation from me, are when I'm doing something like swirling in butter to finish a sauce and don't want it to break down, or plating!! Much of my cooking requires my concentration. I'm so much like this that it might be to a fault and I've been thinking I should serve more do-ahead things when we have company.

What I like is for my husband to do the socializing with the guests at a distance, like on the porch, while the cooking needs my full attention.

I so agree about the helping. I don't want help when we have guests, and I don't offer to help when I'm a guest at somebody else's house. I guess the polite thing to do is to offer. I used to offer help, but I don't anymore, unless it's a backyard BBQ or something like that and I carry something out.

[KateW]

I suspect that the "big deal" is that Kate has some attention issues that she's previously detailed. For her, someone talking "at" or "to" her would be a big deal when she's trying to concentrate. I can understand this because I have a son with the same issues.

I personally love to chat while I'm cooking, but for people like Kate and others, they need the quiet to focus on what they are doing so that they can be successful and feel successful at the completion of the project. Whether it be cooking eggs, or anything else.

Wow. Do you do therapy sessions?

[Rachel Perlow]

I can never hear my fiance coming to the kitchen and he always has to bound into the room and immediately start talking and I always jump.

Buy him a bell for his collar.

Oh, someone has already thought of that.

About the animals underfoot. Don't step around them. They get stepped on a few times, they learn to move out of your way right quick.

[fimbul]

About the animals underfoot. Don't step around them. They get stepped on a few times, they learn to move out of your way right quick.

You think so, do you?

All my "training" has accomplished so far is that my cat thinks his name is"AAAAAAARGH! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" and associates a squished paw/tail with spilled food.

[reverendtmac]

I love having people hanging around when I cook, but I'm a multitasker by nature. My golf buddies think it's hilarious that I can be holding a conversation while hitting a shot - there's only a second-and-a-half pause for when I'm actually swinging, but I'm babbling or listening the rest of the time. Same deal in the kitchen - and I'm probably keeping an eye on the Euro 2004 game at the same time...

That said, asking if there's 'anything I can do' always gets one answer: "Yeah, definitely. See this glass?" (I raise my scotch or bourbon glass) "If this gets anywhere near empty, you slap three fingers worth in there." I am cooking for my guests - which means that their job is to entertain me and enjoy themselves.

[Susan in FL]

I love having people hanging around when I cook, but I'm a multitasker by nature.  My golf buddies think it's hilarious that I can be holding a conversation while hitting a shot - there's only a second-and-a-half pause for when I'm actually swinging, but I'm babbling or listening the rest of the time.  Same deal in the kitchen - and I'm probably keeping an eye on the Euro 2004 game at the same time...

That is impressive!

[phaelon56]

I like it, but I'm strictly a home cook.  Recently I put curtains separating the bar area that's open from the kitchen and the boyfriend complained.  Even if he's reading the paper, he *likes* to watch me cook.   He also likes to watch me plate it and serve it to him!

Is it because you've adopted the style of this person?

Bunny Bunns: Nude Cooking Lessons and Nude Party Chef

[Mayhaw Man]

She was on Tech TV on that Martin Whathisnames show. Very funny and suprisingly serious about the food.

[Bicycle Lee]

Oh yeah...and I'd like a fat joint...where can I find you and bug you?

Chicago, my friend.

I am going to try my damndest to come out there to work...so when I'm there, let's meet up...

[Bicycle Lee]

yup

Edited June 18, 2004 by Bicycle Lee (log)

[andiesenji]

As I have followed along with this thread, I have been wondering, what would you do if you had kids underfoot?

Back in the dark ages, when I was married and had three teen agers plus their friends in the house, I don't recall having too many disasters with people tromping through the kitchen while I was in the middle of preparing a meal.

There were also two great danes and three basenjis, which meant nothing resembling meat could be set on a counter unattended. The danes didn't even have to stretch to reach it and the basenjis could jump three feet from a sitting start. They also thought that every time a fridge door was opened it meant they were going to get a treat and were right there with me, peering into the magic food box. For some odd reason they also liked to sleep on the floor in front of the fridge. Trying to open the door with a pile of dogs weighing more than 200 pounds could be chancy at best.

I could always run the dogs into the back yard and lock the doggy door, but what can you do with teens who never listen to anything you say, except to ignore them.

If they became too boisterous I would give a demonstration of knife juggling which would clear the kitchen in short order. They never saw me drop one but felt it best to take no chances.

The only thing that really angered me was someone smoking in the house. That was never allowed. One sister-in-law had the temerity to come into my kitchen and turn on one of the gas burners and lean down to light a cigarette. I did rather blow a gasket at that and she didn't come to our home or speak to me for several months.... No loss as far as I was concerned.

Friends and neighbors were always dropping in unannounced, usually coming in through the garage and into the laundry room at one end of the kitchen rather than to the front door. We had an espresso machine long before it became trendy and many times they would prepare their own and lounge at the kitchen table and watch me work.

I probably got used to all this in early childhood where the kitchen was a very busy place with several people working at various tasks and if I asked, I would be given little things to do.

While in baking school I got used to decorating cakes while people were screaming directions at other people over the noise of the mixers and other machinery, stacks of sheet pans being dropped into a sink, and all the other noise one finds in a bakery.

When I worked as a personal chef, I worked in kitchens where the client might stroll in straight from the pool, sans clothing, guests high on something I never cared to know about might come in and ask me some weird question that had nothing to do with reality.

Once I was working in the kitchen and a young man came in and thought I was France Nuyen and I couldn't convince him I wasn't and finally had to call the client to take him away. I have no idea what he was on.

One client had a lot of exotic birds and other wildlife which wandered free around the house.

He replaced one of my good knives after his macaw bit through the wood of the handle.

I have worked with a rock band practicing in the room next door. (not my kind of music)

And there were other distractions which are best left unwritten. (I had some odd clients.)

There were times that I did get a bit cranky, after all, I am human, but mostly I was able to tune out the distractions and get on with my work. There are times when I concentrate so completely that I do not hear the phone ring right next to me.

This is something that one develops over time.

[Susan in FL]

As I have followed along with this thread, I have been wondering, what would you do if you had kids underfoot?

As for me, been there done that, and now it is different. I loved that then, and now I love the empty nest.

Your personal chef stories which I enjoyed, though very interesting, I guess explain part of the reason I'm not a personal chef and I didn't even know it!

All that you shared was funny. Thanks for the laughs. But the dogs... that one sounded much like a horror story.

[stovetop]

Yes; silence is good, when one can not hear what chef is screaming, there are problems, at this point you are up to your ankles in alegators, although if one gets to serious ones mind is not clear, laugh, breath, focus; Now!!, what is chef saying, then it all comes clear, you move on to the next table.

stovetop

[Rachel Perlow]

About the animals underfoot. Don't step around them. They get stepped on a few times, they learn to move out of your way right quick.

You think so, do you?

All my "training" has accomplished so far is that my cat thinks his name is"AAAAAAARGH! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" and associates a squished paw/tail with spilled food.

Hmm, worked with our dogs. You whenever we move in a way that may mean they are in the way, they scatter. Cats are more indifferent to pleasing their humans I think.

[andiesenji]

But the dogs... that one sounded much like a horror story.

Actually the dogs were better behaved than the kids.... One of the danes was subject to guilt trips.

If anyone yelled about anything he would drop his head, tuck his tail between his legs and retire to his bed. This dog had never been struck, rarely scolded, but had this inherent guilty streak.

The basenjis, on the other hand, could brazen out anything. One, appropriately named "Sin" would look completely innocent even with meringue from a pie plastered on his face, as if to say, "Who, me? You know I wouldn't do that, Mom."

We did have to buy a different fridge because of the danes. We had one of the Admiral fridges with the freezer on the bottom and a foot pedal to open it. The danes learned how that worked and after they absconded to the back yard with a few hunks of frozen meat (and ate it as-is), we bought one with double doors which they couldn't figure out how to open (as long as no one hung a dish towel on the door handle.)