Who Gets the Wine List?

[Chad]

So Mark - you jumped right in, but you didn't tell us what the usual practice is at Citronelle.  Care to share your protocol?

Simple. The captain is told by the maitre d' who the host is. The menus are presented and the host is asked if he/she would like the wine list. The host is then the one who either accepts the list or delegates.

Mark, by "host" do you mean the person who made the reservations? Or is there another way that you designate the host?

Chad

[Kim WB]

Mark,

Do you determine who the host is by what name the reservation is under?

[GordonCooks]

Most of the places I frequent offer up a "Would anyone care to see a wine list?" and whomever asks, gets one.

[Mark Sommelier]

Mark,

Do you determine who the host is by what name the reservation is under?

Yes, that seems to be the most reliable method. On larger tables of conventioneers, the list gets placed in the middle of the table.

[bloviatrix]

Most of the places I frequent offer up a "Would anyone care to see a wine list?" and whomever asks, gets one.

That tends to be my experience as well. And then everyone at the table points to me and says I get it.

I find if I order the wine I'm the one who's offered the initial taste. I can't remember anyone bone-headed enough to offer the sample to my male companion.

[Jeffy Boy]

you can set up buzzers so they can buzz in. "oooo, i'm sorry alpha male type, it seems that clueless dimwit buzzed in before you. looks like you'll be enjoyed a fine sutter home tonight."

[Squeat Mungry]

I find if I order the wine I'm the one who's offered the initial taste.  I can't remember anyone bone-headed enough to offer the sample to my male companion.

While I'm not a complete ignoramus when it comes to wine, my most frequent "a deux" dining partner is a beautiful young woman who pretty much qualifies as an expert, at least compared to me.

Sometimes we will be asked who would like the list, but more often it is automatically handed to me. In that case I immediately hand it over to her, though I like to look it over after she's had a chance to familiarize herself with it.

Sadly, even if she has ordered (though often I order as she is quite shy), waitstaff are sometimes boneheaded enough to assume I will be tasting the sample. If they offer me the cork, I hand it to her to examine. If that still doesn't get the message across and they head for my glass, I sometimes have to say something like "My friend will be tasting the wine."

Cheers,

Squeat

[tommy]

If that still doesn't get the message across and they head for my glass, I sometimes have to say something like "My friend will be tasting the wine."

i usually give them the ol' "don't look at *me* dude."

[Mulcahy]

This subject is near and dear to my heart, as my husband and I go to a decent number of restaurants and drink a lot of wine. (The drinking of a lot of wine is not meant to connote we know all that much about it). I actually know more about the subject than my husband but we both really like to look at the wine list and invariably almost always are offered just one. This makes sense at a place like Veritas which has a tome as a wine list, but at a place with a two or three page list that is no larger than the menu? Doesn't seem like much of an effort for the restaurant to supply us with two lists.

We almost always ask for reccomendations as long as the restaurant has either a sommelier or a server that knows what they're talking about. If not, I usually choose the bottle and on more than one occasion my husband has been poured the taste. On occassions when the sommelier chooses the bottle my husband is almost always poured the taste. A recent very notable exception took place at Casa Mono where the wine director poured all three people at the table a taste of her reccomendations. It was unusual enough that I thanked her for it. I absolutely hate it when it is assumed that my husband is responsible for the wine (so does he). I mean for heaven's sake it's 2004, not 1954.

[Busboy]

Usually get the wine list since I'm a) the male and b) often the person in whose name the reservation is or who first accosts the host in search of a table. If it's my wife's "turn," as it often is, to choose or taste the wine I just tell the waiter to present her with the list, or that "she'll be tasting this evening." The waiter switches gears, my wife chooses and tastes a wine and life goes on without anyone getting heartburn before the meal even begins.

I think its a mistake to turn what is, after all, a relatively minor service error -- and still a reflection on the most common, if far from universal, dining practices -- into a major issue.

[Pan]

Each person gets a menu because each person orders their food. Only one person orders the wine.

Unless the patrons decide to order different wines by the glass.

[Pan]

Mark,

Do you determine who the host is by what name the reservation is under?

Yes, that seems to be the most reliable method.

Interesting. I would think it would still be a little hazardous. The fact that a person was the one who made the phone call for reservations doesn't necessarily mean that s/he will be in charge of wine ordering, but I take your point that you've found the method reliable.

[trillium]

..snip

If not, I usually choose the bottle and on more than one occasion my husband has been poured the taste. On occassions when the sommelier chooses the bottle my husband is almost always poured the taste. A recent very notable exception took place at Casa Mono where the wine director poured all three people at the table a taste of her reccomendations. It was unusual enough that I thanked her for it. I absolutely hate it when it is assumed that my husband is responsible for the wine (so does he). I mean for heaven's sake it's 2004, not 1954.

It really pisses me off if I've ordered the wine and my partner is brought the taste. My reaction is exactly the same as yours...this 2004! We've been voting for 75 years and nowadays "they" even let us get advanced degrees, own property and have our own checking accounts. I think we can taste the goddam wine we ordered. As to the wine list being automatically assigned by gender, I do think it's more than a minor service error and the argument that "with all the problems out there...blah blah blah" is lame. Er, done now.

regards,

trillium

[Raoul Duke]

What I find unusual is that when the wine list is presented to me, a majority of the time, it is done by both male and female servers. When presented to my spouse it is usually done by male servers not female.

[GG Mora]

When I was single and dating, I had no qualms about commandeering the wine list, and generally got no resistance. If I did, it was time to blow the ref's whistle and move on. "Next!".

Just to clarify, so's not to look like a total hypocrite: if I met with resistance solely on the basis of gender (and I'm talking about with the date here, not the sommelier or server), the jig was up. If my date knew more about wine than I did (as was frequently the case) I was all over letting them handle it.

[Scott]

It really pisses me off if I've ordered the wine and my partner is brought the taste.

I eat in high and middle end restaurants a lot, and I have never seen that happen.

could it be a reflection on the individual staff/restaurant than protocol at large.

[Basildog]

For tables of 2 i tend to give a taste to both guests.There's nothing worse than hearing some pompous man saying" Oh you will like this darling".For a while i used to give just the ladies a taste, who ever ordered the wine,just to be perverse.

[JudyB]

For tables of 2 i tend to give a taste to both guests.

Indeed you do, although I think that yours is the only restaurant where I have seen this.

Incidentally, on Friday night the two of us (Duncan and I) got two menus and the wine list in a single pile in front of us on the bar. (This was in a local pub/restaurant and not anywhere with aspirations for Michelen stars etc).

[Marlene]

The wine list is usually offered to my husband, who immediately hands it to me, usually in the waiter's or sommelier's presence. If we order white, my husband will taste, if we order red, I will do the tasting. However, we do have to actually state that, even if I order the wine, in most cases. Otherwise, the inclination seems to be to ask my husband to taste regardless. I have seen waiters wait until I've approved the wine, pour a taste for my husband and wait for his approval. This would be fine, if it worked the other way. When my husband tastes first and approves the wine, my glass is immediately filled.

[Scott]

For tables of 2 i tend to give a taste to both guests.There's nothing worse than hearing some pompous man saying" Oh you will like this darling".For a while i used to give just the ladies a taste, who ever ordered the wine,just to be perverse.

BD,

I like your thinking I must say. Though I would ask one thing:

isn't the point of tasting the wine to check it's condition, not whether 'you liked it'?

[Mark Sommelier]

For tables of 2 i tend to give a taste to both guests.There's nothing worse than hearing some pompous man saying" Oh you will like this darling".For a while i used to give just the ladies a taste, who ever ordered the wine,just to be perverse.

BD,

I like your thinking I must say. Though I would ask one thing:

isn't the point of tasting the wine to check it's condition, not whether 'you liked it'?

Scott,.

That is exactly right. People are funny about this, though. I remember once, years ago, I opened a bottle of Dom Perignon for some boob with the proper "pet de nonne" and he refused the bottle only because there had not been a loud pop.

[Craig Camp]

For tables of 2 i tend to give a taste to both guests.There's nothing worse than hearing some pompous man saying" Oh you will like this darling".For a while i used to give just the ladies a taste, who ever ordered the wine,just to be perverse.

BD,

I like your thinking I must say. Though I would ask one thing:

isn't the point of tasting the wine to check it's condition, not whether 'you liked it'?

Scott,.

That is exactly right. People are funny about this, though. I remember once, years ago, I opened a bottle of Dom Perignon for some boob with the proper "pet de nonne" and he refused the bottle only because there had not been a loud pop.

How in the world do you maintain your cool?

[Malawry]

I don't ever recall this being a big deal either. My husband is a teetotaler, has never drank wine. I am definitely not knowledgeable about wine but I still probably know more than most of the people I dine with. The list always comes to me. If somebody tries to hand it to my husband he simply indicates that I will be choosing the wine. And he handles it himself if somebody tries to give him a taste, again steering them to my end of the table. Not a big problem. And I never have people sneer or act overly attentive because of this...that would be a huge turnoff!

[Katherine]

I recall a first date I had years ago with a guy who imagined himself quite a wine sophisticate. In a modestly priced restaurant with a dozen supermarket wines on one side of one sheet, he must have taken twenty minutes trying to find the perfect match for our food, before I stopped him so we could actually order and eat.

Just pick one, they're all ok!

It was very instructive.

[Mark Sommelier]

For tables of 2 i tend to give a taste to both guests.There's nothing worse than hearing some pompous man saying" Oh you will like this darling".For a while i used to give just the ladies a taste, who ever ordered the wine,just to be perverse.

BD,

I like your thinking I must say. Though I would ask one thing:

isn't the point of tasting the wine to check it's condition, not whether 'you liked it'?

Scott,.

That is exactly right. People are funny about this, though. I remember once, years ago, I opened a bottle of Dom Perignon for some boob with the proper "pet de nonne" and he refused the bottle only because there had not been a loud pop.

How in the world do you maintain your cool?

Craig,

Cool is my middle name.