Friends/Relatives' imposed food conditions

[FoodMan]

Ok I could not figure out what to title my little rant here so I hope I did not mislead anyone.

I just got off the phone with my wife whose family is coming over to our house tonight for her sister's going-away-back-to-college dinner. I had asked her to ask her sister what she wants to eat. so she specifically requests "Cinnamon Buns" for dessert - a little strange but still ok.

However, for a main course my wife talked with her mom and her mom goes "Make something with chicken, BUT IF YOU WANT YOUR DAD TO EAT MAKE RICE TO GO WITH IT"!!!! My wife's ethnic background is south American so I know rice is a staple with every meal, but if sometimes I really do not want to make rice. And this always happens, I mean it kills me when her dad asks for rice to go with the wonderful homemade Lasagna I made (WITH HOMEMADE LASAGNA NOODLES) or rice with roast beef and mashed potatoes.

what really aggravates me is the "condition", I probably will make rice with roast beef just out of courtesy but when they place conditions on me it just buggs me. I am of middle eastern origin but I never demand Pita bread when I eat at their place!!!

Does anyone have the same problem?? Or is it just me??

FM

[Jinmyo]

Hm, I understand. I love rice too but...

It reminds me of my old Uncle Jack.

"Ooh arr. This Chinee food is good aright. But it'd be so moch bedder wif some mashed pataters. An gravy."

I'd just serve the father-in-law his own bowl of rice and leave it at that.

[bilrus]

All the time. But I have just gotten to the point where I don't suggest anything that would not meet their demands.

In fact my in-laws are staying at my house right now. Last night I made grilled pork chops, corn on the cob and sliced tomatoes. Not exactly what my wife and I would have on a Thursday night, but I was trying to make them happy. I managed to grill the chops to perfection. Done but still very juicy. Mother-in-law cut into it and turned up her nose when juices actually ran out thinking that if it isn't dry, it isn't done.

I wanted to bitch about this, but didn't want to bother with starting a new thread over this. Thanks for the outlet.

[bloviatrix]

My mom requires applesauce at every meal. I can't figure out why, and when I ask her sisters about the origins of the applesauce fetish, they have no answer. This behaivor drives me crazy when she comes to me and starts wondering why I haven't served the applesauce yet.

She also thinks no meal is complete without lettuce and tomato. This rule applies lunches of yogurt or PB&J sandwiches as well.

[Mottmott]

You have my deepest sympathy. But get over it. The Lord of Balancing the Universe gives each of us, the food obsessed, someone in our life to bring us down in the kitchen.

I presently have family living with me with young children and a vegetarian mother. I've simply turned over the kitchen to them for the most part. I don't want to eat the out-of-the-package "vegetarian cuisine" that dominates their diet. And I don't want to cook for 5 daily to insure having something I like on the table. When I do cook meat for myself, however, I must actually cook for 3 as my 3 year old grandson stands next to me (after he's already had his dinner), opening his mouth to have me feed him like a little bird) and my son finishes off the rest later.

This one DIL is a vegetarian, the other is give a license to pickiness and food whininess by GURD, and now one of my sons has decided that sugar must be banished from his diet. Cooking for this family has lost its joy. When I do it, I simply suck it up and try to have something on the table for everyone to it.

Life just ain't fair.

[beanpod]

Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a lovely topic.

I have in-laws which drive me completely nuts when in town and staying over.

They CONTINUALLY change their diets.

They are constantly asking if something I cook is cooked properly (duh - I have fed your son for how many years and he's not dead - so go figure)

Every meal has to have rice and salad - and rice even has to be cooked a certain way and dressing for the salad has to be olive oil and lemon (with WAY too much salt for my taste - but who's asking for my opinion anyway - I just live there)

Anywho, I just thought you would have a laugh at this one. Last time they were in I made a whole roasted chicken and it called for bacon to be wrapped on top for first part of roasting - so I slyly put some on (knowing that my father-in-law is CURRENTLY not eating pork products - blah, blah, blah). I took it off after it turned crispy - ate the evidence (sneaky, hey??) and proceeded to cook.

When all was said and done and we were all at the table after a wonder meal of chicken, rice, green beans and salad - my father-in-law said to me "That is the best chicken I think I have ever eaten!"

Oh my - oops - It's really chicken with a pork twist!!!!

[browniebaker]

In-laws and conditional love!

I have been married for eight years but have never cooked a meal for my parents-in-law who are of Korean heritage because my husband has always maintained that, even though I am of Chinese heritage and know very little of Korean cooking, the first meal I cook for them must be Korean and not Chinese cuisine, which would somehow be an affront to them. He has some antiquated idea of the Korean daughter-in-law doing her duty! Note that the first meal my husband cooked for my parents (during the first winter holidays that we spent at my parents' house) was Korean, and he very proudly showed off the cuisine he grew up with. "Why is it not an affront to my parents for you to cook Korean and not Chinese for them? Why the double standard?" I asked. No answer from Mr. Inconsistent. No dinner from me.

[SobaAddict70]

This explains why (among other reasons) I WILL NOT cook for my relatives. Ever. Nyet, comrade.

Case in point:

My mom loves to talk about food but doesn't like things to be "too complicated".

What's complicated? How about pasta with a properly made bolognese sauce. A roast chicken, stuffed with lemon and herbs. Quiche lorraine, from scratch.

So, dinuguan (pork and beef innards stewed with pig's blood and vinegar) and pakbet aren't complicated but all of the above are? Whatever!

Soba

[FoodMan]

You have my deepest sympathy. But get over it. The Lord of Balancing the Universe gives each of us, the food obsessed, someone in our life to bring us down in the kitchen.

I presently have family living with me with young children and a vegetarian mother.  I've simply turned over the kitchen to them for the most part.  I don't want to eat the out-of-the-package "vegetarian cuisine" that dominates their diet. And I don't want to cook for 5 daily to insure having something I like on the table.  When I do cook meat for myself, however, I must actually cook for 3 as my 3 year old grandson stands next to me (after he's already had his dinner), opening his mouth to have me feed him like a little bird) and my son finishes off the rest later.

This one DIL is a vegetarian, the other is give a license to pickiness and food whininess by GURD, and now one of my sons has decided that sugar must be banished from his diet. Cooking for this family has lost its joy. When I do it, I simply suck it up and try to have something on the table for everyone to it.

Life just ain't fair.

Mottmott-

You have my deepest sympathies !!! After reading your post I will glady make rice for my FIL. Thinking that you do not cook (or enjoy it when u do) anymore because of that is just horrible. best of luck to you.

beanpod that is pretty funny, glad he liked the pork fat laced chicken (unless he was allergic or something!!).

Just an update, they decided that for tonight they want grilled chicken with homemade BBQ sauce, some sort of potato salad and......a side of RICE for my FIL

Keep those stories coming.

FM

[bilrus]

I'll give an update too. I called home and my wife said the inlaws are at the grocery store buying the fixin's for Bean Soup.

This could be ugly.

[FoodMan]

I'll give an update too.  I called home and my wife said the inlaws are at the grocery store buying the fixin's for Bean Soup.

This could be ugly.

[ronnie_suburban]

You're preachin' to the choir FoodMan ...although with me, it's my family, not my in-laws. My in-laws are generally wonderful.

I feel your pain.

=R=

[tommy]

my father makes me cook his steak well-done. it doesn't really bother me all that much.

[torakris]

living in Japan where it isn't considered a meal with out rice, I always have the rice cooker filled, just in case.

no matter what is on the table.

[foodie52]

You don't like what I serve?

Forget about being invited back!

That goes for the relatives, too.

Pearls before swine....

[britcook]

I'm sorry but you guys are not trying hard enough to be awesome. Set the rules. "I cook what I can and what I'm good at". If they don't like it then tough s**t. I cook for myself and if others don't like it then, to quote GWTW, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a d**m". It may not help family relations (although mine have no problems) but it does make your kitchen a happier place.

[browniebaker]

I can't cook for people I don't love. Period.

[Jinmyo]

I can't cook for people I don't love. Period.

Psh. I don't care about the people. Some you like, some you don't.

I won't cook food I don't love.

[ruthcooks]

My ex-MIL always cooked according to whose diet she was trying to control: low cholesterol for her husband (who rebelled by only eating steak when he ate out) and portion controlling the entire family when her youngest daughter tended to gain weight. Margaret loved mashed potatoes, so there were hardly enough to go round; that way Margaret couldn't have seconds.

For years, I cooked wonderful meals when my in-laws visited. They would come in the door, get out their bourbon and peanuts and crackers and munch away. When the food went on the table, it was, "Oh, that's so rich" and "How many calories?" and "You DO use fat-free sour cream, don't you?" Evidently their empty calories didn't count.

I got sick of being told I went to too much trouble, so one time I cooked nothing at all. Nada. You should have seen the shocked looks, but I never heard those comments again.

[Jason Perlow]

Foodman:

Make a big pot of boiled white rice on the side, even if nobody else eats it but your dad, you can use all the leftover rice to make fried rice a few days later. Fried rice is best with old cooked rice.

In everything there is a silver lining. Its not a rediculous accomodation, and if it saves aggravation at the table, all the better.

[Chad]

Psh. I don't care about the people. Some you like, some you don't.

I won't cook food I don't love.

This I like. One of the more sensible, meaningful and potent things I've seen in a while.

Yes.

Chad

[ronnie_suburban]

Psh. I don't care about the people. Some you like, some you don't.

I won't cook food I don't love.

I'm putting this on a sign in my kitchen!

=R=

[Nick]

Psh. I don't care about the people. Some you like, some you don't.

And probably the ones you don't are the ones you should cook the best for. Yeah, it's idealistic.

[Malawry]

I'll give an update too.  I called home and my wife said the inlaws are at the grocery store buying the fixin's for Bean Soup.

This could be ugly.

Hey, maybe they read my vegetarian cooking lesson and got inspired!

...right?

[MHesse]

I'm hope these relatives don't visit e-Gullet .

Anyways, they haven't had dinner at our house for years, ever since the "full cup incident."

We still go there to eat. Family is family. Plus they both cook quite well. They give each other numerical scores on each other's preparations.

--mh