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I will never again . . . (Part 3)


Rebecca263
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I'm still back in '03 on this thread, but I think it is probably not only one of the most entertaining threads on the site, but undoubtedly the most educational!

I have screwed up coffee makers every way there is to do that, and am on the second round with most of them.

Have managed most of the other popular ones, too - however, here's something I discovered only a few weeks ago.

Did you know that pureed fresh garlic grows?

The day before DD's mother (visiting for the first time from Germany) turned up for dinner, I was clearing up the kitchen a bit, hoping to get it a bit more civilized for company. One of the little projects was to puree the couple of pounds of peeled garlic (purchased for this purpose) and get it into jars into the fridge - So I hauled out the processor, dumped it in, pureed it thoroughly, and packed it into mason jars.

Luckily it didn't go straight into the fridge, because I gradually became aware as I multitasked my way around the work table that something was wrong, but it took a few minutes and the sight of the lid growing a dome to figure out what .. oops.

I cleverly took it over to the sink to take the lid off, which was by now under a fair amount of pressure, and when it finally came off, it spat fresh garlic puree all over me, the sink, the window, the walls ...

My husband, who claims to have no sense of smell (but we should probably call it a very selective sense of smell) wandered into the kitchen about half an hour later and said 'did you know that the house reeks of garlic'?

I figured, hey, garlic is good, and anybody who doesn't like it probably isn't going to appreciate good food anyway, but I was a little relieved when my daughter told me the next day that the smell had worn off, mostly ... lol!

The next time I do this I will be a lot more generous with the headroom ...

Lynn

Oregon, originally Montreal

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "holy shit! ....what a ride!"

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I did this one a couple of months ago....wonder if the serrated edge of my new cake server is actually SHARP.  And run my fingers over it several times until the pain finally hits my slow brain (hey, I just woke up!).  Ouch.  Very deep multiple jagged wounds.

Have you ever thought " Gee, I wonder if this burner is hot?"

You'd a thought I would have placed my hand over the burner, not directly on it. It was hot.

As an aside, I have done a few of the other things mentioned here. And I must say it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone.

Wow, I had totally spaced this one - actually, I did it after cleaning a stove. One of the burner pans was noticeably more filthy than the others, and I had heated it a second time. I dropped the burners carefully back into place, and after a final wipe down of everything, went around them all with the palm of my hand (bump, bump bump bump) to make sure they were all well seated. The last one was still very hot.

The most amazing thing about this I thought, was that the palm of my hand, which was burned past blistering, healed without a trace of a scar.

I hate electric stoves.

Lynn

Oregon, originally Montreal

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "holy shit! ....what a ride!"

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I can't believe I forgot to post this here.

I was trying to bake Ling's brownies, a recipe I've used many a time, and the reason why I'm in misstenacity's signature.

Somewhere along the way, I decided to up the butter, cut the chocolate (which is just weird because I out-Linged Ling by upping the chocolate content), and halve the eggs! And I only discovered what happened with the eggs as I continued to bake other stuff and realised that I had forgotten to add more eggs.

That was when I looked in the oven and realised that the brownies had been baking for waaaaaay too long now without binding because there weren't enough eggs.

I took it out of the oven and stuck the next cake (thankfully successful) in the oven. Then I wandered off to my bedroom, timer in hand.

I come back out half an hour to take the cake out and blindbake some mini-pie crusts. I forget to put in pieweights. Nevermind. It's okay, it's still usable and yummy.

But when I finally remember my Not-Brownie, it's solidified into a hard, brittle, carbonized chunk that refuses to come out of my non-stick pan.

Edited by miladyinsanity (log)

May

Totally More-ish: The New and Improved Foodblog

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I'm still back in '03 on this thread, but I think it is probably not only one of the most entertaining threads on the site, but undoubtedly the most educational!

I have screwed up coffee makers every way there is to do that, and am on the second round with most of them.

Have managed most of the other popular ones, too - however, here's something I discovered only a few weeks ago.

Did you know that pureed fresh garlic grows?

The next time I do this I will be a lot more generous with the headroom ...

Pureed fresh garlic ferments! and it can be contaminated with botulism which grows in an anerobic (no oxygen) condition.

When you puree fresh garlic, refrigerate it immediately. Otherwise you can treat peeled garlic cloves in vinegar overnight in the fridge, drain, wash and then puree it.

If anything fresh or uncooked develops gas in a closed container, toss it out. If something has been cooked, canned and sealed and the lids bulge, throw it out. Don't take chances on anything that is low acid, (garlic, because of growing in the ground, is often contaminated with botulism) and don't use raw garlic to infuse oils unless you are going to keep the oil refrigerated.

Conversely, pickled garlic, because of the high acid content, is safe.

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

 

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I'm still back in '03 on this thread, but I think it is probably not only one of the most entertaining threads on the site, but undoubtedly the most educational!

I have screwed up coffee makers every way there is to do that, and am on the second round with most of them.

Have managed most of the other popular ones, too - however, here's something I discovered only a few weeks ago.

Did you know that pureed fresh garlic grows?

The next time I do this I will be a lot more generous with the headroom ...

Pureed fresh garlic ferments! and it can be contaminated with botulism which grows in an anerobic (no oxygen) condition.

When you puree fresh garlic, refrigerate it immediately. Otherwise you can treat peeled garlic cloves in vinegar overnight in the fridge, drain, wash and then puree it.

If anything fresh or uncooked develops gas in a closed container, toss it out. If something has been cooked, canned and sealed and the lids bulge, throw it out. Don't take chances on anything that is low acid, (garlic, because of growing in the ground, is often contaminated with botulism) and don't use raw garlic to infuse oils unless you are going to keep the oil refrigerated.

Conversely, pickled garlic, because of the high acid content, is safe.

It can't have fermented in 5 minutes - it wasn't out long enough to have fermented, or to have grown anything. If it had been there any length of time and done that, I *would* have thrown it out.

But I will bear all this in mind ...

Lynn

Oregon, originally Montreal

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "holy shit! ....what a ride!"

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Not a horrible story, like some I've read, but my grandma, who was a great cook, always prepared the Thanksgiving dinner for our extended family. I still remember my grandpa's face, while carving the turkey, as he pulled out quite a number of sheets of paper toweling. Grandma used it to dry the cavity of course, but this time forgot to remove it and toss it! Yes, of course we ate the bird, and it was wonderful as usual!

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I will never grab the handle of a pan out of a 500 degree oven again.

Don't count on it...but then again, some of us are slower learners than others :shock: .

Took me twice. I remember my North Carolina mom telling me how to make cornbread, now that I'd gotten a cast-iron pan. She emphasized "and don't forget that that pan just came out of the oven and is hot!" Of course I forgot, but let go of that handle *real* fast. Felt stupid, but even more stupid when I did it a second time several weeks later. Now - no way!

"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

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I will never agai try to slice a peach with a santuko blade while about ahlf in aq bag. I'm now nursing a badly sliced little finger and nail.... :blink:

"Commit random acts of senseless kindness"

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I will never agai try to slice a peach with a santuko blade while about ahlf in aq bag. I'm now nursing a badly sliced little finger and nail.... :blink:

Ling, how on earth did you commandeer Judiu's name and avatar?

And WHEN are we getting a smoochy-face smile for Kiss-it-and-make it better?

Feel BETTER, judiu!

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  • 2 weeks later...

On my first day at a large catering gig I was instructed to whip up 80 litres of cream for the iconic strawberries and cream (it was for an international tennis tournament). They pointed out this is the cream, this is the sugar and this is the mixer. Wwith about 10 litres to go one of the other chefs thought he'd have a punnet. He spat it out in disgust and then informed me that i was using salt.

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I will never agai try to slice a peach with a santuko blade while about ahlf in aq bag. I'm now nursing a badly sliced little finger and nail.... :blink:

Ling, how on earth did you commandeer Judiu's name and avatar?

And WHEN are we getting a smoochy-face smile for Kiss-it-and-make it better?

Feel BETTER, judiu!

Thanks for the good wishes, and it just shows to go ya, Ling's not the only one who can post in a fog, plus a bandaid on a little finger does NOT promote preceise typing!

"Commit random acts of senseless kindness"

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I have read all 48 pages of this thread.

Today, I took the pan out of the oven and set it down on top of the stove. Next I needed to use the stove.

In my right hand I had the pot holder and my left hand was bare. Guess which hand I grabbed the hot pan with.

I typed this, very slowly, with one hand.

May

Totally More-ish: The New and Improved Foodblog

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Today, I took the pan out of the oven and set it down on top of the stove. Next I needed to use the stove.

In my right hand I had the pot holder and my left hand was bare. Guess which hand I grabbed the hot pan with.

I typed this, very slowly, with one hand.

:sad:

I hope you have your hand sitting in a bowl of cool not ice-cold water.

This is a good excuse to order take-out. :wink:

If you had been here today you could have taken your hand directly from the hot pan and grabbed the jar of mayonnaisse that I had been searching for everywhere only to find it where?

In the freezer of course.

Novel idea. :hmmm:

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Today, I took the pan out of the oven and set it down on top of the stove. Next I needed to use the stove.

In my right hand I had the pot holder and my left hand was bare. Guess which hand I grabbed the hot pan with.

I typed this, very slowly, with one hand.

:sad:

I hope you have your hand sitting in a bowl of cool not ice-cold water.

This is a good excuse to order take-out. :wink:

If you had been here today you could have taken your hand directly from the hot pan and grabbed the jar of mayonnaisse that I had been searching for everywhere only to find it where?

In the freezer of course.

Novel idea. :hmmm:

:laugh: Karen!

In the freezer? Is it still usable? Wouldn't the fats and stuff have coagulated into some disgusting mess?

May

Totally More-ish: The New and Improved Foodblog

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white sugar != brown sugar.

Making brownies one night. Needed 2 cups of white sugar. Only have .5 cup of sugar. Hmm. What do I have that is sweet. Ah, brown sugar. Not as big a disaster as using salt. But those were some strange tasting brownies. :hmmm:

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...Cut vegetables against my thumb "like the mamas do".

I always end up cutting myself, these old women you see doing it must have callouses on their thumbs like leather.

Oh, which method's that? The sort-of one handed "I'm cutting an apple" style?

"There's something very Khmer Rouge about Alice Waters that has become unrealistic." - Bourdain; interviewed on dcist.com
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...Cut vegetables against my thumb "like the mamas do".

I always end up cutting myself, these old women you see doing it must have callouses on their thumbs like leather.

Oh, which method's that? The sort-of one handed "I'm cutting an apple" style?

~C

"There's something very Khmer Rouge about Alice Waters that has become unrealistic." - Bourdain; interviewed on dcist.com
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  • 2 weeks later...

When will I learn that there's reall a limit to multi-tasking? This one was a doozy. Helping a kid with homework, talking on the phone, checking the braise (but I didn't burn myself), cooking dinner, priming a door and slicing bacon on the new-to-me meat slicer that I traded with a friend for (she got my one only used bread machine). Ouch, that blade sure is sharp.

Dinner went into the trash, but, there is a good reason for great take-out pizza. The homework is done, and the home-made bacin is sliced, and I talked a friend through a crisis (she's 38 and just found out she's pregnant with twins).

So, I've pictched two dishtowels that are soaked with blood, used more bandaids that a person should have in the house, the homework is done, we are fed, and the damned bacon is wonderful.

Slice with care, and forget about the painting and dinner when bacon and a friend are involved.

Susan Fahning aka "snowangel"
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I decided to make caramel sugar (caramelize, harden and grind) during the monsoon season, when the humidity is 100%.

Then I compounded the issue by, after grinding the caramel with the almonds, by deciding that it'd be a good idea to try drying it in the oven.

Nope. The sugar melted and gave me clumps of almond-sugar. Yummy though. Except that I can't turn it into candy because it doesn't clump that well.

May

Totally More-ish: The New and Improved Foodblog

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I decided to make caramel sugar (caramelize, harden and grind) during the monsoon season, when the humidity is 100%.

Then I compounded the issue by, after grinding the caramel with the almonds, by deciding that it'd be a good idea to try drying it in the oven.

Nope. The sugar melted and gave me clumps of almond-sugar. Yummy though. Except that I can't turn it into candy because it doesn't clump that well.

You could mix it with tempered milk chocolate and mold to make something akin to a toblerone bar.

edited to note that since your humidity is 100% tmpering is not going to go well either

Edited by Kerry Beal (log)
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I decided to make caramel sugar (caramelize, harden and grind) during the monsoon season, when the humidity is 100%.

Then I compounded the issue by, after grinding the caramel with the almonds, by deciding that it'd be a good idea to try drying it in the oven.

Nope. The sugar melted and gave me clumps of almond-sugar. Yummy though. Except that I can't turn it into candy because it doesn't clump that well.

You could mix it with tempered milk chocolate and mold to make something akin to a toblerone bar.

edited to note that since your humidity is 100% tmpering is not going to go well either

I have plans now! I'll try to post pics in the Dessert thread if they succeed. ^.^

ETA: Where are my manners? Thanks Kerry!

Edited by miladyinsanity (log)

May

Totally More-ish: The New and Improved Foodblog

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  • 2 months later...

I poured a whole carton of vanilla flavored soy milk into my beef soup. The recipe called for regular, plain soy milk. I tasted the soup and just couldn't quite figure out where the gross sweetness was coming from. And then...it hit me! OOPS!

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All the really bad ones I have are from my first sixmonths or so in a kitchen when I was 16. I remember my first chef one day came in with this very exotic looking fish. It was chilean sea Bass. very expensive he told me, very delicate. I watcheed him carefully taking out all the innards and bones. Trying to keep the two fillets attatched so he could stuff it with breadcrumbs, parsley and garlic. I remember him telling us about this fantastic dish of chilean sea bass he had had in turkey, and how fond he had been of it. I was making croutons, for the caesar salad. Normally I burned the first batch, but this time was special. I remembered them and immediatly put them on the cooling rack in the prep kitchen. They came out nice and golden brown. I began starting on the romaine, taking care to be as precise as I had been with the croutons, I was indeed on a role. It was at this point when I realized the look of dismay on the sauceirs face beside me. I felt these horrible eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I tunred around and saw my chef looking furious behind me. He guided me to the prep area and pointed to the rack and roll. I had placed the smoking hot croutons just under the fish that was waiting to be stuffed and had cooked them half way through.l I was quiet the rest of the night. Now whenever i see Chilean sea bass ( apart from thinking how endangered it is) I always think back to that moment and feel that cold gaze.

Edited by Michaeltheonion (log)
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