The One Inviolable Pizza Topping Rule

[tsquare]

The best pizza in my current life in France, and I love it with a passion, consists of a thin crust with crème fraîche, roquefort, coppa slices, and figatelli slices, cooked in a wood fire oven.  It's so good that I never even try any other kind, although many others look excellent too.  It's a transcendant combination.

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pork blood sausage? That I have yet to see on a California pizza - or any other. Ah, France.

Edited December 29, 2008 by tsquare (log)

[ruthcooks]

The most revolting pizza ever is a BLT with mayo spread all over it.

Runner up is any kind of Mexican pizza.

What ruins most pizza, IMO, is too much strong and spicy sauce.

Best I've ever had was the first I ever had in the late 50's in Champaign-Urbana, where the cheese was a quarter inch thick and the sausage was blobs of uncooked country style sausage dotted over the top. The sausage cooked in the oven, and the grease from it spread all over the top. Sauce was minimal.

[moosnsqrl]

Inviolable?

Great little pizza place in Praiano (Amalfi Coast, between Sorrento and Positano) featured a pie called simply "Che Viene, Viene" (what comes, comes). It was a leap of faith and a roll of the dice but never failed to please. Maybe they are genetically (or geographically) programmed in such a way that they are incapable of creating a bad combination of toppings? Maybe the quality of ingredients helps. Whatever, this "clean out the fridge" style of pie opened my eyes and almost convinced me that anything goes.

[slkinsey]

... the cheese was a quarter inch thick ...

<shudder . . . shudder>

[nikkib]

It is not unusual in the uk to be offered pizza topped with bolognese sauce. This is sometimes done as a half n half, ie normal pizza topping one side, big dollop of bolognese sauce on the other.

You can also get tandoori chicken pizza from quite a few take out shops and I have recently seen crispy duck pizza, with  pineapple if you want it.

I would put them all on the no no list.

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i have never seen a bolognese pizza in the uk and i would like to point out that this along with the tandoori chicken/duck combos etc are most certainly not the norm - more something dreamt up to soak up the excess booze on the way home at 3am which we do, as a nation seem to have a weakness for

[lapin d'or]

Well I was not saying that bolognese pizza was the norm but just something you could often get in the uk, and it is not just the 3am take out places that offer it. See below, nice enough place, pizza options lower down the menu.

newcastle restaurant

This is no overnight 'fashion' either, I first remember a collaegue ordering one over 15 years ago.

[sparrowgrass]

I just got back from my son's house in Bloomington Indiana, and we ordered pizza from Avers the first night there. My DIL ordered lambda gyro pizza--lamb, tzatziki sauce, onions and tomatoes. The boy wanted their crimson and cream pizza--alfredo sauce, cheese. red potato, fresh garlic and dill. Topped off with bacon, cheddar, and gorgonzola cheese.

Both pies were delicious. But I am not sure they really were pizza.

[gfweb]

Blasphemy and apostacy!

[sparrowgrass]

But really tasty!

[Hard H2O]

If you don't like it do not order it, eat it, nor call it pizza.

I love a garbage pizza. The more toppings the better.

I love pineapple and ham on my 'za.

On a forum that embraces unique culinary delights and emboldens diners to widen their gustatory horizons it is disheartening to read of those who are closed minded about a food that crosses gender, racial, political, cultural, economic, and language boundaries.

Shame on you gastronomic chauvinists.

[slkinsey]

If decrying pineapple and inch-thick layers of toppings on pizza makes me a gastronomic chauvinist, then I will gladly accept that honorific.

However, I will point out that "chauvenism" may be commonly described in this context as "unwarranted bias, favoritism, or devotion to one's own particular group, cause, or idea." I don't accept that disapprobation of pineapple pizza is unwarranted. To paraphrase Rev. Brown: If hatin' on pineapple pizza is wrong, I don't want to be right!

Edited December 30, 2008 by slkinsey (log)

[gfweb]

Proper taxonomy and maintenance of standards is not chauvinism. The degradation of the noble pizza is one more blot on the eschutcheon of our generation.

[Hard H2O]

Proper taxonomy and maintenance of standards is not chauvinism.  The degradation of the noble pizza is one more blot on the eschutcheon of our generation.

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Then don't call them pizza.

A combination of a flat dough topped with a tomato based sauce, pineapple, ham and cheese is mighty tasty. I can get one from the same restaurants that sell pizza. They are made in a similar manner to classic pizza.

A combination of a flat dough topped with a tomato based sauce, green olives, black olives, sausage, pepperoni, onions, bell pepper, and cheese is mighty tasty. I can get one from the same restaurants that sell pizza. They are made in a similar manner to classic pizza.

Whatever it is called it is good eats.

If some choose to consume only classic Neapolitan pies then so be it. Variety is the spice of life.

[Hard H2O]

Pizza

Neapolitan pizza (pizza napoletana): Authentic Neapolitan pizzas are made with local ingredients like San Marzano tomatoes, which grow on the volcanic plains to the south of Mount Vesuvius, and Mozzarella di Bufala Campana, made with the milk from water buffalo raised in the marshlands of Campania and Lazio in a semi-wild state (this mozzarella is protected with its own European protected designation of origin).[1] According to the rules proposed by the Associazione vera pizza napoletana, the genuine Neapolitan pizza dough consists of Italian wheat flour (type 0 or 00, or a mixture of both), natural Neapolitan yeast or brewer’s yeast, salt and water. For proper results, strong flour with high protein content (as used for bread-making rather than cakes) must be used. The dough must be kneaded by hand or with a low-speed mixer. After the rising process, the dough must be formed by hand without the help of a rolling pin or other mechanical device, and may be no more than 3 mm (¹⁄₈ in) thick. The pizza must be baked for 60–90 seconds in a 485 °C (905 °F) stone oven with an oak-wood fire.[2] When cooked, it should be crispy, tender and fragrant. Neapolitan pizza has been given the status of a “guaranteed traditional specialty” in Italy. This allows only three official variants: pizza marinara, which is made with tomato, garlic, oregano and extra virgin olive oil (although most Neapolitan pizzerias also add basil to the marinara), pizza Margherita, made with tomato, sliced mozzarella, basil and extra-virgin olive oil, and pizza Margherita extra made with tomato, buffalo mozzarella from Campania in fillets, basil and extra virgin olive oil.

If you want to be a purist and insist only on the three official variants then you are missing out on some great flavors and tastes.

Edited December 30, 2008 by Hard H2O (log)

[slkinsey]

I say (and I have said it before, so I'll keep it short) that America has often flipped Italian culinary ideas on their heads in transforming Italian food into Italian-American food. There are a lot of reasons for this that I won't bother elaborating, but to make an obvious example: In Italy, pasta dishes are first and foremost about the pasta. They may be considered "pasta with a condiment," and the amount of condiment is likely to be modest. In America, we have changed this idea so that the pasta becomes a mere vehicle for the sauce and the condiment becomes the game. This may be considered "sauce, with some pasta," and the amount of sauce is likely to be copious. In this case, and most others, this transformation has had a detrimental effect.

Something similar has happened with respect to pizza. I don't think that pizza needs to adhere rigidly to Neapolitan orthodoxy, but I do think pizza should be about "crust (with some stuff on it)" rather than being about "a big pile of toppings (on a crust)." We call that second idea "pizza" here, but I firmly believe that it is something else entirely. Something that can be good? Sure, sometimes. Personally, it is not usually to my taste and I don't believe it can aspire to the heights of perfection that can be obtained through the crust-centric approach.

All of which is to say that, while I don't "insist only on the three official variants" I do think that the paradigm that calls for toppings piled high to the heavens results at best in a pedestrian product, and usually something that could perhaps aspire to edible. The degradation of the noble pizza, indeed.

As for pineapple. That's just wrong. But hey, don't take our word for it. But, at the same time, don't be surprised when the pizza delivery guy turns out to be Bernardo Gui, and you're dragged before the Pizza Inquisition as a heretic.

Edited December 30, 2008 by slkinsey (log)

[Katie Meadow]

Out, out damned fruit! Oh how I wish the word "pineapple" had never crossed the brain/eG barrier. Mea culpa!

But lets don't lump pizza with pineapple in the same category with technique heresies. Pineapple is a single ingredient, not a method of making pizza. I don't like pepperoni or clams or bell peppers on my pizza but that doesn't mean a great pizza can't be made using any one of them. You may not like radicchio on your pizza, but I make a fantastic pizza with grilled radcchio.

Since perfecting our own homemade pizza my family has all kinds of preferences: very thin crispy crust cooked if possible on an outdoor grill. Minimal toppings, including modest amount of mozz that is strewn casually and does not cover completely, minimal sauce or just fresh tomato, and one or two additional veggies in moderation. No argument here: there's nothing more awful than a mile-high soggy rubbery bready pizza. But that's just lousy pizza, and that's really more about technique than about ingredients.

For those who want nothing more than a modest combination of mozz, basil and fresh tomato (and sometimes that's just perfect) call yourselves purists and be done with it--you can say you are a purists about technique AND ingredients. I have a hard time believing, however, that you survived having children, who like all kinds of strange stuff on their pizza and are not very forgiving of parents with an abundance of rules--food or otherwise.

But there's nothing inherently verboten about grilled onions or radicchio or chard or any number of other toppings; they were on plenty of menus when I was in Italy. I admit that it may be a leap of faith to allow toppings that are not "native" to Italy (like the Scottish fruit--since we don't want to say its name too often) but here we are in the land of multicultural pizza! Happy new year!

[gfweb]

edited because it didn't make any sense

Edited December 30, 2008 by gfweb (log)

[slkinsey]

I agree with everything you say, Katie. Except about pineapple. It's wrong.

[gfweb]

I am beginning to discern a trend.

Northeast eaters, who have ready access to excellent pizza not made by thick crust pushing big business, tend to favor the classic pizza.

Those from underpriveliged areas (i.e. the rest of the country) have less compunction about screwing around with a pizza because...well why not...it aint that great anyway.

Or perhaps the proximity to Wolfgang Puck tends to confuse the left part of the country

Edited December 31, 2008 by gfweb (log)

[prasantrin]

I am beginning to discern a trend. 

Northeast eaters, who have ready access to excellent pizza not made by thick crust pushing big business, tend to favor the classic pizza.

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I spent a year in VT, and my sister lives in NH, and I haven't had good pizza in either of those states. The pizza there pretty much sucked, actually, and the sauce was painfully sweet.

If you can't put pineapple on pizza, then you shouldn't be allowed to put sugar in the sauce.

[Andrew Fenton]

I admit that it may be a leap of faith to allow toppings that are not "native" to Italy (like the Scottish fruit--since we don't want to say its name too often)

Haggis on pizza? Truly wonders will never cease.

Anyway, in the spirit of reconciliation, equanimity and good feelings, let me say that if you (that is, "one") wants to put a giant pile of toppings on your pizza, feel free.

It's not my lookout if you endanger your immortal pizza soul.

[K8memphis]

It's not my lookout if you endanger your immortal pizza soul.

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How close does one get if they're into feta cheese and spinach on <whispers the word> pizza?

Edited December 31, 2008 by K8memphis (log)

[Hard H2O]

Chowing down on a slice of work provided Sarpinos right now. Pepperoni, mushroom, onion, black olive.

Delicious

Edited December 31, 2008 by Hard H2O (log)

[Andrew Fenton]

It's not my lookout if you endanger your immortal pizza soul.

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How close does one get if they're into feta cheese and spinach on <whispers the word> pizza?

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There is much to admire about the Greeks, both culturally and culinarily. This does not include their pizza-making skills. Shun the feta pizza; hew instead to the blessed spanakopita.

As to spinach... perhaps. If it has been sauteed with a lot of garlic, and all the moisture has been cooked out. Then it can be quite good on a white pie, maybe with some sausage.

[K8memphis]

It's not my lookout if you endanger your immortal pizza soul.

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How close does one get if they're into feta cheese and spinach on <whispers the word> pizza?

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There is much to admire about the Greeks, both culturally and culinarily. This does not include their pizza-making skills. Shun the feta pizza; hew instead to the blessed spanakopita.

As to spinach... perhaps. If it has been sauteed with a lot of garlic, and all the moisture has been cooked out. Then it can be quite good on a white pie, maybe with some sausage.

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Yes exactly!! But sir, feta be white!!

Elated to have my mortal pizza arse spared.