The Romantic Dinner: the ideals

[Gifted Gourmet]

Most of the discussions on eGullet regarding the romantic dinner are placed in various regional forums as members seek out optimal places to indulge in these delightful meals.

The topic at hand here is not so much about the "where" of the romantic dinner but the "what" ...

So, without further ado, what elements make for the truly romantic meal?

Does it have to be a dinner?

How about the element of sensuality? How does a restaurant, a commercial enterprise, create that ambience?

How should it be made gratifying to the senses as well as palates?

And how about the element of lighting?

How should the tables be spaced?

The background music? Obviously, subtle .. but what type of music conjures the romantic atmosphere?

And from the kitchen? the aromas?

The table service? and the pace?

Is it all about making you comfortable?

Talk to me about the romantic meal ... "speak to me only with thine eyes ..."

[Megan Blocker]

CANDLES! I'll get back to you with more...

[Gifted Gourmet]

CANDLES!  I'll get back to you with more... 

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Megan, you do move swiftly!

Candles are all around the interior walls of Notre Dame Cathedral, yet it is somewhat less than romantic ...

[Varmint]

To steal from Dr. Seuss and his How the Grinch Stole Christmas,

Romance comes without candles, it comes without foie,

It comes without oysters, even when raw

You can puzzle three hours until your puzzler is sore

But you'll realize something that you hadn't before.

Maybe romance, perhaps, doesn't come from the place,

Maybe romance, that's right, comes from her face!

What I'm trying to say is that any restaurant, even Gray's Papaya or Applebee's, has the potential to be romantic. It's the couple, not the restaurant! Any time I get some quiet time with Mrs. Varmint is just fine with me.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Applebee's and others of that genre (a term I hesitate to use here ) just seem to lack the ambiance I enjoy in dining romantically .. something about the kids squirming in their highchairs, the smell of french fries, the level of the "din" ... not conducive to l'amour ... but then I am a perfectionist ... possibly just a purist ... the choice of Pepsi over Coke ... I like a sommelier who can't kill the fizz ....

[Katie Nell]

Good wine helps!

[pam claughton]

Most of the discussions on eGullet regarding the romantic dinner are placed in various regional forums as members seek out optimal places to indulge in these delightful meals.

The topic at hand here is not so much about the "where" of the romantic dinner but the "what" ...

So, without further ado, what elements make for the truly romantic meal?

Does it have to be a dinner?

How about the element of sensuality? How does a restaurant, a commercial enterprise, create that ambience?

How should it be made gratifying to the senses as well as palates?

And how about the element of lighting?

How should the tables be spaced?

The background music? Obviously, subtle .. but what type of music conjures the romantic atmosphere?

And from the kitchen? the aromas?

The table service? and the pace?

Is it all about making you comfortable?

Talk to me about the romantic meal ... "speak to me only with thine eyes ..."

←

When I think of a romantic dinner, a few restaurants always come to mind. What they have in common is excellent food (that's a given), soft lighting, background music that you don't really notice, cozy fabric covered chairs/sofas that are not too close to other tables. What elevates the experience is service. If I want a romantic and special dinner, excellent service makes all the difference. These are restaurants that welcome you warmly (even if they don't know you at all), and treat you as a cherished regular, who know the menu well, and offer suggestions when asked, who pace the meal well, and don't rush courses. One restaurant I love especially because it manages to be elegant and comfy at the same time. Last time I went there, we sat at a table for two that had kitty cornered sofa chairs that were covered in a gorgeous, plush fabric. The food was outstanding, and I can't wait to return. That restaurant was Mistral in Boston. A few others that immediately come to mind are Clio, No. 9 Park, and Radius. All great special occasion restaurants. What makes all of these places so special is that they pay attention to even the tiniest detail, so that the overall experience is effortless, and always delicious.

Pam

[Gifted Gourmet]

What makes all of these places so special is that they pay attention to even the tiniest detail, so that the overall experience is effortless, and always delicious.

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Aha! You have isolated one essential element in this statement! Tiny details, when taken together, create the elegance and mood for you .. I can identify ...

[Milagai]

Hey! did you swipe this topic from my question on the

US / Southeast forum?

Milagai

[Gifted Gourmet]

Hey!  did you swipe this topic from my question on the

US / Southeast forum?

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Not so much "swipe" as "receive great inspiration from to enlarge and enrich" the topic and make it less regional .. romance is popular in many parts of the world ...

Betcha that romantic dinners occur in Botswana and Boston and Eritrea and Paris and Dubuque ...

[snowangel]

And, then there is the most romantic dinners of all.

Skinny dipping, under the northern lights, at our Cabin. Not a sole around. Luscious finger food and a nice bottle of wine of the dock.

Sorry, got you all beat.

[Busboy]

And, then there is the most romantic dinners of all.

Skinny dipping, under the northern lights, at our Cabin.  Not a sole around. Luscious finger food and a nice bottle of wine of the dock.

Sorry, got you all beat.

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I'm not going skinny dipping anywhere that's far enough north to see the northern lights.

Shrinkage is not romantic. Nor is hypothermia (except for that sleeping bag cure).

[Milagai]

An insight I'm rapidly developing:

After 11 yrs of marriage and 2 kids, I've forgotten

what 'romantic' is like; I'm immersed in the daily romance

of paying thebills, fixing the leaks, getting homework done,

chauffeuring, what-all,

and having a rock solid spouse to rely on through all this....

So I'm seeing that a large part of the romance is attitude.

And if and when I succeed in shanghai-ing said spouse for romantic

dinner, I'll have to leave my mundane mindset behind, and

try and think like I did 11 years ago (... or was that what got

me into this mess in the first place?)

Milagai

[munchymom]

All our romantic dinners take place at home - that way we don't have to deal with that pesky drive home, and paying and taking home the babysitter, before moving on with the rest of the evening. We just wait to have dinner until after the little one's in bed, light some candles, put on some music and eat. As for the food, I like small plates, food you can eat with your hands, nothing too heavy. Dishes that can be made ahead of time - it's less romantic when the cook has to keep hopping up to get the next course ready. Cheese and chocolate are musts. And of course good wine!

[Gifted Gourmet]

Dishes that can be made ahead of time - it's less romantic when the cook has to keep hopping up to get the next course ready.  Cheese and chocolate are musts.  And of course good wine!

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All great ideas .. now how about in a restaurant setting?

Which elements make a meal romantic in dining out?

[nr706]

A dim, underground location ... private booths ... a live flamenco guitarist ... fondue = collaborative dining, with many little secrets to share ... that's why I love Geja's Cafe on Armitage near Clark in Chicago.

[Eden]

although my favorite romantic place is done in light pastels I do generally prefer a darker set of shades, but not really vibrant primary colors or decor that is attention grabbing, actually I think this is maybe what it's all about - that the place, the music, the service etc should be a setting, but never intrusive, the point is to be in a place where you can actually pay attention to each other (while enjoying a lovely meal) because so much of life distracts us, romance is really about having a space to focus...

[Megan Blocker]

Does it have to be a dinner?

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No, definitely not. I think the most romantic thing in the world (if the ground is dry and relatively level) is a picnic. Nothing says lovin' like wine, bread, cheese and chocolate in a basket.

If one decided to go the restaurant route, as I said upthread, candles are essential, as is soft overhead lighting. There's nothing romantic or sensual about the low buzz of fluorescent bulbs. Also nice is a table big enough for the food and glasses, but small enough to talk quietly over. I prefer face-to-face seating (I think sitting next to one another actually makes conversing over the food much harder), but there's nothing worse than shouting across the table.

Personally, I love anything that feels luxurious. Soft linens, silverware with a bit of a heft to it, and so on. It doesn't have to be fancy - it just has to feel nice. I prefer a restaurant without tablecloths, to be honest - but with good napkins.

Tables should be far enough apart to encourage sweet nothings, but not so distant that you feel like you're not in a restaurant - if you want to be completely alone, stay home.

Music should be subtle, as in quiet, and subtle as in not opera (which, it should be noted, is my favorite music to cook to, but not to eat to). Standards work well, I find.

And, yes, it's all about what makes you comfortable! If you enjoy being with the person you're with in a certain environment, then that's romantic. The above is just what I enjoy when I want to devote my full attention to one other person, and therefore find romantic...

[purplewiz]

Restaurant or home, it all starts with the right dining companion. Without that, nothing else matters.

In a restaurant, I prefer that the tables are far enough apart so that the movement and laughter of others isn't immediately disturbing....and they can't hear me. Nothing ruins the moment like eavesdroppers.

Longer tablecloths are nice, to hide any...um...activities of the extremities.

Low enough light to create the feeling of intimacy, but enough light to see the menu/your dinner/your dining companion. Restaurants that are too dark are scary, not romantic. One candle is not enough to see by.

Food that is excellent, but not so unusual that you spend all your energy on analyzing the tastes. There are dinners that are "foodie" dinners, where the whole experience is about the food - and while they're fun and intellectually stimulating, they're not exactly romantic. Romantic dinners are also about the food, but the food is not the only attraction.

Marcia.

[birder53]

Lighting is very important for me. A combination of lights can make it romantic while still letting me read the menu and see my food. (Okay - I'm old!) A few places that have accomplished that had strategically used track lighting to illuminate artwork on the walls as well as the center of the table top without putting a harsh glare on the diners. This also seemed to create a separate space for each table making it even more private from the rest of the room.

I like table linens that absorb the sounds of the tableware. The music should just blend into the background - no singing please! Unobtrusive service, good food, great desserts (there is something romantic about sharing a truly decadent dessert together) and good drink - cocktails and/or wine.

And, of course, the most important part of any romantic dinner - the right dining companion.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Low enough light to create the feeling of intimacy,

Food that is excellent, but not so unusual that you spend all your energy on analyzing the tastes.

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You have brought up some good points here which I had not thought about previously ... yes, of course, the feeling of intimacy is especially important and there is nothing like a glare of harsh light to illuminate laugh lines and forehead furrows ... and the energy one spends on analyzing food can indeed be considerable, Marcia ... just never thought about it this way!

and from birder 53,

I like table linens that absorb the sounds of the tableware.

which is now something I will listen for when I eat in nice restaurants.

[Milagai]

Here's from the Rubayyat of Omar Khayyam:

A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,

A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread--and Thou

Beside me singing in the Wilderness--

Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!

OTOH, for me, its: "never the time, the place, and the loved one, all together...."

The amount of planning I'm having to do for this and the

logistical hassle involved is rapidly depleting the romance....

Milagai

[Nicolai]

Here's from the Rubayyat of Omar Khayyam:

A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,

A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread--and Thou

Beside me singing in the Wilderness--

Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!

OTOH, for me, its:  "never the time, the place, and the loved one, all together...."

The amount of planning I'm having to do for this and the

logistical hassle involved is rapidly depleting the romance....

Milagai

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Very nice verses. Thank you

As for Romantic dinners. The following should be in place.

1- Proximity of partners at arm lenght.

2- Music at par with partners preferences.

3- Music volume at par with type of music.

4- Lighting should be indirect and soft.

5- Some motion should be present in the environment.

6- Food should not be the hero of the evening but mere playing second fiddle.

7- Romance should be true and should be humble.

All interested, PM for address.

[Megan Blocker]

All interested, PM for address.

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[Fresser]

Roasted heads of garlic always put me in the mood.