Who's got time to cook?

[dougery]

I need some advice from you experienced parents out there. I have a new born in the house (which is an amazing experience I must say), but now I'm trying to figure out how you folks with more than one child manage your time when it comes to cooking.

I do most of the cooking at home. I used to be able to come home from work, relax a bit then start cooking dinner for my wife and myself, but as of recently I've been hard pressed to find time to cook a decent meal. Cooking is do-able but it's far more challenging with our new family member on board.

Do any of you veteran parents out there have some good tips and advice on how you manage to keep meal quality high while still being fair in sharing family responsibilities (and also keeping your sanity)? Since I'm the youngest in the family, I don't have any practical experience (watching my mother care for a new born and cook) to draw upon.

TIA

[daniellewiley]

I struggle with this all of the time. My daughter is 3. When she was a baby, it seemed that the witching hour ALWAYS coincided with dinner prep time.

Some advice:

- get help

- share duties

- cook ahead

- take advantage of nap times

- don't be a martyr. If I need to use a pre-made marinade, I don't torture myself over it. I just try to find stuff that is as good quality as possible.

- along the same veins, lower your expectations!!!

[kellytree]

I agree with these two things:

-don't be a martyr. If I need to use a pre-made marinade, I don't torture myself over it. I just try to find stuff that is as good quality as possible.

- along the same veins, lower your expectations!!!

My grandmother use to tell me that 5pm is the children hour- when all kids become evil and the only cure is to sit down with a glass of whiskey and wait for it to be 6.

[JPW]

Congrats Dougery!

If you look at the photo to the left, you will see that I am only a few months ahead of you. (Edit to add - it's tough to see, but we are both asleep. Take it where you can get it!)

What's worked for me is

--Planning - I do a full weekly menu on Saturday and do all of my grocery shopping that day. The more organized you are the quicker you will be able to make dinner during the week.

-- Do time consuming meals on weekends that produce easy to reshape leftovers during the week. - Sunday's roasted chicken leftovers will be tonight's chicken quesadillas. Last week it was a beef stew where the leftover meat and veggies got dumped into a gratin.

-- Don't feel guilty about doing takout from the local Thai place every now and then. Everyone deserves an occasional break.

Edited January 11, 2005 by JPW (log)

[Rachel Perlow]

I think the cook ahead thing must be a lifesaver for parents. I do it and I don't have children. Make a list of what you frequently like to eat, for example, do you make a lot of stir fries? Buy a lot of meat and chicken breasts on sale, clean and portion and cut to proper size the dish, package in freezer bags portioned for 1 family meal. Move from freezer to fridge before bedtime the next night's meal.

The most important part of utilizing your freezer is reportioning whatever is going in there. There's no point in freezing the whole package of meat. Especially if it's a larger size due to the sale.

Hamburgers (and turkey/chicken burgers) can cook from frozen. Wrap them individually, heat up a cast iron skillet and they cook for about 2-3 minutes per side. Less chance of over cooking them if they're frozen, too.

Pre-wash a couple days worth of salad greens and store in an airtight bag or container lined with paper towels.

Pre-prep fresh vegetables -- make carrot sticks and store in zipper baggies. They can be steamed or sauteed, eaten raw, or further chopped into dice when doing the actual meal preparation. May as well blanch Tuesday's cauliflower and Wednesday's broccoli when bringing the water to a boil for Monday's green beans. When it comes time to eat the other vegetables, you can either simply reheat them with some butter in the microwave, or saute with some OO and garlic. When blanching a lot of vegetables at once, start with the lightest, most innocuous. Do broccoli last. Why bake 2 potatoes, when 6 or 8 can cook in the same oven? The leftover ones can be made into hashbrowns or sliced for a quick gratin.

Frozen Veggies -- keep petite peas and other veggies you like in the freezer for quick side dishes. If you like Brussels sprouts, I've found the frozen ones are cheaper, actually taste better and are easier to deal with (no last minute cleaning) than fresh.

Double up -- whenever you are cooking something substantial, cook double. Stews, braises, soups, casseroles all freeze beautifully. Portioned as individual servings (healthy homemade TV dinners) or family meal portions, they will be a lifesaver on those days when you get home late. Also, you will be saving fuel by not having to heat the oven twice, or bring a pot of water to a boil twice.

It takes some planning, but you'll be happy on those days when you wonder where the time went.

[Really Nice!]

A big step in saving time is to do as much of your preparation (MEP) before leaving home in the morning.

Put the pots/pans that you are going to use on the stove or in the oven. Put the utensils that you're going to use in them. If you're using canned items, place them in too. Measure the dry ingredients and combine them if the recipe calls for it.

Some days, doing all I can with the nonperishable items in the morning gives me a big sigh of relief when I get home in the evening.

[snowangel]

I second what everyone else has said. Plan and freeze groceries accordingly. There's nothing worse than planning tonight's dinner when are are on the bus, on the way home. Inevitably, you don't have on hand what you need.

When you are cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, and you know you are going to have pasta the next night, fill that pan with water and set it on the stove. If you know you are going to have rice, put that rice in the rice cooker.

Don't forget about "clean out the fridge" meals. Frittata comes to mind. Quesidillas are another one. Stuffed baked potatoes are another one. If you keep stock on hand, soup can be really, really fast.

I also found it helpful to have a few easy "pantry" main dishes on a list posted on the fridge, and before grocery shopping, I checked to make sure I had all of those ingredients.

(And, it was no more difficult with more than one child, once they each got past that newborn age.)

[Toasted]

I can certainly relate! I'm about 8 1/2 months pregnant and I also have a 15 month old, an 8 year old, and a 9 year old. I make a weekly menu for dinners which helps a lot. I make a lot of things like big batches of mashed potatoes, rice, and refried beans and freeze them in batches. I also make a ton of pancakes on the weekends and freeze those too- easy to throw in the micro for a quick breakfast. We eat a lot of soups and chili- I prep the veggies the night before and throw those and canned beans and spices into the crock pot the next morning. Another thing I do is make a triple batch of pizza dough once a week and refrigerate it. I use it for pizza, calazones, foccaccia bread ect. Along with these simple meals I use "bag" salads which I make more interesting with different cheeses, canned chick peas, diced apples, oranges, nuts, etc.

My best advice is to do as much prep before hand and make big batches of things like rice, stock, dough and whatever else you like and freeze them in smaller quantities. I've finally gotten to the point where I can get a great, healthy dinner on the table in under 20 minutes. I admit to ordering in once a week, usually Thai food or Indian, food that I love but takes too long for me to make at home right now. Good luck!

[jgm]

Although I'm not a parent, I have a stressful job and elderly parents whose health and antics are unpredictable, and there are nights I come home and barely have the energy to turn the TV on.

On those evenings I do have energy, I try to look ahead a little bit. If I can slice zucchini for tomorrow's soup, I do that and put it into a plastic bag, and it goes back into the refrigerator. If tomorrow's recipe calls for 5 different spices, I get them measured out into a bowl or plastic container. Any slicing, chopping or measuring that can be done ahead, I try to do.

I also have a plastic storage container that I will put unopened canned or packaged ingredients into, so that I don't even have to gather them. It's also a good way to make sure I actually have them on hand, and avoid last-minute trips to the grocery.

It can be amazing how all the early prep, and getting pots and pans ready, can shave loads of time off a recipe. More importantly, it gets you organized at a time when you can devote your attention to the recipe, and those inevitable distractions that come at cooking time are easier to handle.

[Anna N]

Some excellent ideas here and even though the kids are long gone, I know I will make use of many of these ideas to simplify my life.

[Shalmanese]

If you have any staple meals in your house that can freeze easily, make a batch for 12 or 20 instead of 4 and freeze the rest in meal sized portions. a month from now, take one out and re-heat and it will seem like new. Works well for soups, pasta sauces, braised dishes etc.

Some things like muffins can be kept edible in the freezer for a suprisingly long time so making large batchs ensures your kids will always have a treat to munch on if they've been good.

Also, if you trust your oven/slow cooker, you can prep a dish at night, start it cooking in the morning when you go to work and then have dinner on the table 10 minutes after you walk through the door.

[Busboy]

(Re)discover the joy of simple dishes, order in when things get crazy, and get used to eating later.

My wife and I never actually do any of the sensible things other posters have advised. Just terminally disorganized I suppose. Most days we're not sure at noon what we're going to be eating that night; we've tried menu planning but were no better at that than family planning.

On the other hand, it only takes a few minutes to microwave fresh vegetables or throw together a salad. Potatoes in the oven or rice in a cooker can take care of themselves while you play with the kid, watch The Dailey Show or pan roast an entree. A well-made burger is a thing of beauty.

Pastas with simple sauces are great, and one thing we do manage to freeze sometimes is a tomato sauce. Omlettes: love 'em. Pan roast almost anything and then splash a little wine into the pan for a sauce. Another thing we usually have on hand -- made on weekends, is a bit of stock.

Over time, you'll build a repetoire of good quality, simple stuff that suits you taste. An, oh yeah, if your kids are like mine, they're going to like tacos better than Veal Brascola anyway.

Tag-teaming is good: wife preps and you finish, or vice-versa. Also, foods that can be ignored for long stretches: braises and soups that simmer while you attend to the rest of your life.

We also basically run the evening from the kitchen. We talk about our day, grill the kids on their homework, catch the news and, I don't know, plan vacations and birthday parties amidst the steam and the knives. It's not like we're going out or anything, so why not settle in?

Work hard, teach the kids good table manners and in ten years you can start them setting the table and doing the dishes, and maybe even on a little prep work.

Good luck!

[snowangel]

Work hard, teach the kids good table manners and in ten years you can start them setting the table and doing the dishes, and maybe even on a little prep work.

Good luck!

←

Diana was helping plan meals, prep meals (I probably shouldn't mentioned that she had her first knife lessons, but she was responsible, listened well, and respected the tool), saute and clean up the kitchen (wipe off those counters) at about age 5-1/2. Kids can also sort laundry at about age 3. It's all about the teaching moments. For laundry, it's about colors. For food, it's about color, taste, texture.

Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I'm very disorganized, and shop for food and whatever far more frequently. Note that I waited until my youngest was going to kindergarten and my oldest was old enough to be home alone before I decided to make that move (when they are old enough to be home alone, they shouldn't be, in my book).

[dougery]

These are some great tips everyone, thank you!

It seems that Cassian has an uncanny knack for being very needy right when I've reached the most sensitive point of cooking a meal. I think I'll have to lay off of most of my sauces for a while until the little one can wait through a reduction.

I've been going to Costco and purchasing bulk meats and parting them out (like suggested) and have lots of pre cooked meals ready to go, but I've been waiting until I get home at night to get organized. Everyone's tips on setting up the night before will come in quite handy.

Since we eat a lot of asian food, I've been cooking a lot of rice then once it cools, I wrap up single portion size blocks of rice for quick heating in the microwave (this has really saved me on more than one occassion).

I was at the in laws house the other day and was able to catch Rachel Ray's meals in 30 minutes (I'm afraid I do not have cable TV in my home). It inspired me to pre cook some soups and freeze them in some zip locks.

Boy, parenting really does add a whole new twist to cooking meals! I can't wait until Cassian starts to eat real food, but if he is half as finicky as I was when I was small, I'm in big trouble!!

[Busboy]

Boy, parenting really does add a whole new twist to cooking meals!  I can't wait until Cassian starts to eat real food, but if he is half as finicky as I was when I was small, I'm in big trouble!! 

←

It still drives me crazy -- one's 16 and one's 12 and they still have very finicky palates. And attempted guilt trips like "when I was your age we didn't even have sushi in America" and "this black bass was swimming in the Chesapeake 2 days ago. you know what I had when I was a kid? Fish Stix" are as ineffective as the old "I walked nine miles in the snow to school."

Good luck, and remeber, almost every culture has noodles and rice, the universal language of small-kid dining.

[dougery]

lol,

Noodles and rice... reminds me of an outing with my nephew about a year ago. His dad told me that he will eat nothing but plain rice from Taco Del Mar and I shouldn't deviate from this.

I took him to Taco Del Mar and thought I would surprise him with a little cheese on his rice.. BIG mistake. He had the biggest tantrum right in the middle of the restaurant during the lunch rush! " I -- DON'T -- WANT -- CHEESE!!!!!" (now multiply this line by 50 repetitions and increase the decible level to deafening)

The cashier was eager to get him to quiet down so she brought out a supersized dish of plain rice.

Yup... Rice and Noodles do the trick!

[Susan in FL]

This is a great topic and I hope these good ideas will help you, Dougery, so you can fully enjoy this time! I must say I don't know how you all with young children do it. I don't know how I did it, back in the day! I remember when my now-26 year-old was an infant, thinking that I might never leisurely cook a nice dinner and sit down and relax and enjoy eating it ever again in my life. We made use of that automatic swing thing almost every night at dinner time. It seems he never fell asleep when it was time for us to cook or eat.

But somehow we all do it.

I wasn't even as good a cook then as I am now, nor the good cooks that all of you are, and it was hard. I am impressed by all of you. And like Anna, I will use some of the ideas for times my life is extra busy for other reasons now.

[therese]

Cook double batches ahead of time and freeze half.

Use a slow cooker for soups and braised dishes---set it up in the morning and set it on low so that it will be ready when you get home.

Keep a store of last minute things that you can broil. Nice quality sausages are a standard back-up in our house.

Plan meals ahead of time, and make a list for shopping---you are too sleep-deprived to make spur of the moment decisions.

Get as much sleep and exercise as you both can (weird, but the exercise will make you feel better, even if you think you're too exhausted).

Order delivery and take out as much as you'd like.

Get a housekeeper if you can afford it. Time spent scrubbing bathrooms is time you could be spending with your family, whether over a meal or not.

[JPW]

Get a housekeeper if you can afford it. Time spent scrubbing bathrooms is time you could be spending with your family, whether over a meal or not.

←

Being a cheapskate by nature and nurture, I resisted my wife on this one for ages.

Once I relented, it made all the difference in the world. It's not just the time, it's the stress of having that mop of Damocles hanging over your head.

Plus, on the day they come, you get to experience that priceless sensation of coming home to a clean house.

[Cleo]

Congratulations! I’m in the same position. I had my first baby (an amazing girl!) in October and I just went back to work this week . As so many people have said, planning has been the key. In addition to trying to be organized, I’m also trying to lose weight, so it’s especially important to plan. The planning was going well while I was on maternity leave, but now it’s even more challenging now that I’m back at work.

I don’t really cook ahead and freeze things because we don’t really eat a lot of stews/soups, but I will cook a large amount of roasted vegetables at once and keep them in the refrigerator to have during the week as a side dish. On the weekend, I also plan out a basic dinner menu for at least Monday-Thursday, so I’m not scrambling when I get home. The meals are not gourmet, but easy and relatively healthy. On the weekends, we either order in or just sort of wing it. We’ve been taking our daughter to restaurants and it’s been fine…we just go early and it makes it less stressful for me. She usually stays asleep in her stroller anyway.

Here in New York, we have the grocery delivery service Fresh Direct, and it has been a lifesaver for me. I get groceries delivered on Sundays and have all the fresh vegetables, meats, etc. for the week. If you have any service like this, use it!

Good luck to you!

[dorachadas]

Great suggestions above! My daughter is about 16 months now and dinner is always fun because she loves eating just about everything that we do. Of course she also loves tearing around the kitchen like a smiling tornado, grabbing everything she can find.

We've found that just plopping her down on the floor with a plastic mixing bowl, a wisk and a set of measuring spoons that are still on the same ring will keep her occupied and having fun for awhile, as she cooks along with us.

One thing too add, in addition to picking simple weeknight meals, and starting early on the prep, is to pick meals that won't suffer a horrible death if you have to walk away from the stove for a few minutes. Any dish that requires constant attention and stirring (burnt/dry risotto anyone?) can be risky.

[Mabelline]

Beside the most beautiful kitchen helper I used, the slow cooker, when you have a free moment and some vegetables, try making up some pickles. Very easy, long fridge time, add spark to any dish, and most actually get depth in the vinegar storage. They go so well with curries, plain rice, broiled proteins. There are so many recipes for them, because I think every culture has used them as a counterpoint to a meal.

Good luck with your baby...although I often went crazy with three girls, 1 1/2 years apart from each other, I would certainly not change things (Well, except for kid-friendly cars).

[Jaymes]

Since we eat a lot of asian food...

A timesaver for me was running into a grocery store on the way home and grabbing stuff from the salad bar -- fresh, chopped carrots, onions, peppers, etc. -- to throw into a stir fry.

Obviously, it's better to prep your veggies over the weekend, but if you've run out of them, and you're tired and hungry, grabbing stuff from the salad bar to cook at home can be a real treat.

And I always cooked some sort of large hunk of meat over the weekends, often two or three different kinds....a big ham, a beef roast, a pork roast. Heat up the oven once, roast several kinds of meat, and then it's easier to make the sides as you go through the week.

[therese]

Get a housekeeper if you can afford it. Time spent scrubbing bathrooms is time you could be spending with your family, whether over a meal or not.

←

Being a cheapskate by nature and nurture, I resisted my wife on this one for ages.

Once I relented, it made all the difference in the world. It's not just the time, it's the stress of having that mop of Damocles hanging over your head.

Plus, on the day they come, you get to experience that priceless sensation of coming home to a clean house.

←

Definitely wonderful coming home to a clean house. Makes you want to cook. If you manage to schedule your housekeeper at the end of the week you'll still have it clean for the weekend, and then you'll want to entertain, and then you'll really feel like you've got a life.

[hshiau]

If we're talking about hiring a housekeeper, why not go the extra step and hire a cook? ....if the idea is to spend more time with the kids.