Phrases to qualify the quality of the food

[LaurieB]

Do you, your family and/or friends, have any special phrases to describe how something tastes?

In my house:

Well, it's not bad -- I wouldn't spit it out.

THIS could put the "airible" in terrible.

THIS is "kiss the cook" good. (You actually have to get up and kiss the cook )

Please share here.

Laurie

[jamiemaw]

Do you, your family and/or friends, have any special phrases to describe how something tastes? 

In my house:

Well, it's not bad --  I wouldn't spit it out.

THIS could put the "airible" in terrible.

THIS is "kiss the cook" good.  (You actually have to get up and kiss the cook )

Please share here.

Laurie

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Laurie,

Interesting question. Verbotten words include 'yummy', 'scrumptious' 'flavour profile', 'mouthfeel', 'and 'interesting plate cover' because they suggest a lack of imagination. On the other hand, 'flavour vacuity', 'oral tryst' and the like are strongly encouraged.

Under the terms of my new contract, only three overt sexual references are now permitted each column.

Alas,

Jamie

[LaurieB]

OMG, those two are immediately entering the repertroire. Thanks.

(I can't wait to try out "oral tryst" on some unsuspecting friend).

Laurie

[eunny jang]

Under the terms of my new contract, only three overt sexual references are now permitted each column.

Alas,

Jamie

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There have been times when I have negatively described an unsuccessful too-busy restaurant dish as a "clusterfuck on a plate".

[munchymom]

My parents have a couple of code words - "Average" means terrible. If they really didn't like a meal, they'll say it was "very average". Their other one is "interesting", which also means terrible. The first time my husband ate with them in a restaurant, he said, "This salad dressing is really interesting" and they got this stricken look on their faces. I had to jump in and say, "No, he really means it's interesting!"

[Gifted Gourmet]

What?? There is no Berlitz to translate the nuances of descriptive phrases after a meal?? Alas!

[ghostrider]

I'll confess to having borrowed "craptacular" from Bart Simpson, but only for truly special occasions.

[bloviatrix]

Blovie has banned the expression "to die for" from usage. Therefore, when something is really outstanding our phrase of choice is "lick the bowl/plate good."

My in-laws frequently describe a dish as "interesting" when it's made of ingredients that are new to them and they're not sure what they think. It pisses me off when they use it.

Edited November 15, 2004 by bloviatrix (log)

[LaurieB]

"craptacular"

I think I may need to start a dictionary of food phrases.

[mike_r]

usually in my house growing up if something was really relly good we'd all say " " as we were too busy snaffling grub to waste time by pointing out what at that point was rather redundant...

[Lexica]

My grandfather used to look around the (silent) dinner table and say, "It must be good - nobody's talking!"

[Suzanne F]

. . . My in-laws frequently describe a dish as "interesting" when it's made of ingredients that are new to them and they're not sure what they think.  It pisses me off when they use  it.

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That's what my mother used to say, and under the same circumstances. But I didn't mind. At least not until she would try to use the ingredient in some hitherto unknown way. As in: what would YOU say when you bite into a lump of ginger root in the dish of ratatouille?

But I'm sorry, Jamie: "yummy" is our highest encomium for wine that we like. Cuts right through all the winespeak bullshit.

[reverendtmac]

My friends and I do Simpsons usually, too.

"Preeeeetty weak, Milhouse..."

Kelly's fave: "This tastes like someone personally spit in every fifth (food under consumption)", immediately followed by Newell or myself: "I like those odds!"

Of course, that's in the classy joints. Otherwise, we'll take eunny's cue (classic, btw) - dive into the gutter and plow right on through the cement...

[ruthcooks]

My dad always said "Pretty poor." If the food was good, he didn't say anything, just went back for thirds.

[fiftydollars]

"craptacular"

I think I may need to start a dictionary of food phrases. 

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I'm fond of craptastic, myself.

I have also, on more than one occasion, called a meal "adequate" because I could think of nothing nicer to say.

Crapriffic is also good...

[Gifted Gourmet]

If we are borrowing from the Simpson's for a compliment, then the state of American education is in worse shape than I had previously suspected ...

How about something on the order of "what a lovely idea to plate ____ with ___!"

When my late father-in-law didn't think something was great, he would invariably say "Well, I wouldn't order it out!" ... I found that demeaning and a reflection on him, more than my cooking ...

[steverino]

"Pedestrian". With the hours I've been working of late, and the lack of inspiration I usually feel this time of year, I'm using this term more than I like lately. My wife and step - kids, God bless 'em, don't heartily agree (too often).

"Pointy". This usually applies to a soup or stew, where certain flavors seem to almost stab you - onion being the primary culprit, but celery, pepper and garlic can also be culprits. Usually remedied by more simmering.

My Father, while I don't ever remember him ever overtly criticizing my Mom's cooking, would simply say "you don't have to make this again". And then he would go back for seconds. (not thirds) Y'know, starving children in Ethiopia, etc.

Steve

[rosebud]

"This is interesting" is the absolute kiss of death in my family.

[munchymom]

"Pointy". This usually applies to a soup or stew, where certain flavors seem to almost stab you - onion being the primary culprit, but celery, pepper and garlic can also be culprits. Usually remedied by more simmering.

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I also use "pointy", but with a completely different meaning. I've been doing Weight Watchers (well, sort of, seems like for the past few months I've been doing "Weight Ignorers" instead, but anyway) and they give you a certain number of "points" you can eat every day - the points are based on the fat, fiber and calories in a given food. So if I eat something that's particularly high-fat or high-calorie, I might say something like "That was so good...too bad it's so pointy!"

[LaurieB]

This just reminded me of something I saw a couple of years ago -- my husband runs a community theatre and this was from a list of things to say when you see a friend in a, how shall I say, less than stellar production.

All should be said with a hand clasped to your breast.

"Oh, my gosh! I can't even tell you! I just. . . can't".

"YOU should have been sitting where I was sitting!

(My fav:)

"YOU!!!! You you you you you!!!!!!)

[purplewiz]

"It's bad" - the food is actually bad. Burned, poor quality meat, too salty, vegetables that were rescued from the compost heap, undercooked chicken. Not only not good, but never had a chance at good.

"Not to my taste, dear" - the food is cooked correctly, I just don't like it.

"Average" - cooked properly, tasted ok, but not something I'd seek out ever again. Used mostly on restaurants that people rave about that turn out to be nothing special.

"I would like to see this again" - my husband really liked one of the new dishes I'm trying out. Or one of my experiments worked well.

"You must have gone through so much trouble to make this!" - polite comment made as a guest when the host/hostess asks "how is it?" and you don't want to say "terrible". Also see "How kind of you to have us over!" and "I see you have <x> in this dish - do you cook with it a lot?".

Marcia.

[LaurieB]

"I would like to see this again"

Is your husband a scientist, per chance? This is exactly the kind of thing my dad would say!

[jamiemaw]

Under the terms of my new contract, only three overt sexual references are now permitted each column.

Alas,

Jamie

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There have been times when I have negatively described an unsuccessful too-busy restaurant dish as a "clusterfuck on a plate".

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And I doubt that you were referring to orgiastic dining rituals in the style of Caligula--they were more of a smorgasbord. When describing over-decorated, unnecessarily complicated plates, I've used variations on your theme, as in "Chef Konrad Feldplucker cooks the way I fuck." This was a diplomatic way of suggesting that at least one of us wasn't terribly proficient at his craft.

Food writers dig deep for annoying connective adjectives to make you turn the page and read the words that prevent the breast augmentation ads from bumping into each other. But if things are going well, there are kinder, gentler ways: "Great cooking, like sex and Beethoven, is about tension and release." Include this in your toast to the cook and you may be invited back. Conversely, I've called a vulcanized veal parmigiana "arsephalt on a plate." Could have been the beer talking, although, come to think of it, that would have been in Dutch.

Suzanne F

But I'm sorry, Jamie: "yummy" is our highest encomium for wine that we like. Cuts right through all the winespeak bullshit.

Hey, good on ya. Whinies have no vocabulary of their own. It's a lexicon of negative space and stolen moments. And besides, up here it rhymes with Mummy.

Back to our kitchen. My mother, who can really cook (Loaves and Fishes School, '24), also has an annoying habit. She always sits down just after us, maybe with a piping hot gravy boat. And then, almost under her breath she'll ask the Quality Check question--"Well, now . . . I hope everything's alright." "Not bad at all, Mum, someone will inevitably say, "but the gravy's a bit hot."

Then we eat.

Edited November 16, 2004 by jamiemaw (log)

[Smithy]

"Craptacular"!! I love it!

One of my pet phrases is, or at least was until recently, "I'd serve this to company" when I'm especially pleased with a dish. I may have been over-using the expression, though: not long ago my DH asked me, "Exactly how often do you plan to have company, and how many dishes do you plan to feed them?!"

A friend's father used to have the all-purpose expression, "this is something else!" The funniest example of his usage was when my friend's mother baked a cake for a birthday dinner, and it was obvious that the father didn't like it. He kept carrying on, "this is really something else" in tones of disapproval, until finally he asked where she'd gotten the birthday cake. She said, proudly, "I made it myself!" Immediately, his tone changed to enthusiastic approval. "Oh, wow!" he exclaimed, "this is really something else!"

[Mooshmouse]

"craptacular"

I think I may need to start a dictionary of food phrases. 

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I'm fond of craptastic, myself.

[snip]

Crapriffic is also good...

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Crapulence is my variant. The depths of crapulence, absolute crapulence or something like that there.

When it's just my husband with me at the dinner table, neither one of us is very polite if something offensive crosses our palates. I've been known to say, "This really sucks ass." Of course, what do I do immediately after that but say, "Here honey, taste this and tell me if it's as bad as I think it is." He then replies, "Like I'm gonna put that in my mouth..." and then gives me one of these looks: